Wade and Seth talked for another half hour about the risks and the challenges of stretching the ranch in a second direction. Seth had thought things through in great detail, and Wade wondered if his brother ever would have acted on those ideas or if he would have been like Wade, so consumed with the daily minutia of running the ranch that he'd lost sight of the bigger picture along the way.
Caroline had helped him refocus, he realized. On his kids, on himself, on more than just the ranch.
The thought distracted him from the business at hand enough that he looked over at the recliner and found her asleep, her cheek resting on one hand.
Seth followed his gaze. "I guess we bored her right to sleep."
"I better take her back to bed."
"And I'll take that as my cue to get out of here. I've got plenty to think about tonight."
If his thoughts involved more than women and whiskey, Wade had to be grateful.
Seth tugged on his denim jacket but paused before putting on his Stetson, his features serious. "At the risk of having you bash my face in, can I offer some advice?"
"You might as well, since I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to stop you."
Seth cocked his head toward Caroline. "I don't pretend to know all there is to know about women—"
"And yet you seem to be doing your best to screw up the learning curve for the rest of us."
Seth grinned. "I do what I can."
A second later, his grin slid away as he looked at Caroline again. "Take it from a man who knows women. Caroline is different. She's funny and sweet and smart. She listens when you talk, she's not one of those people who just waits until you wind down before they launch into their own life story. She cares about people, you can tell."
Wade glared, not liking that look in his brother's eyes. "And you're telling me this because…?"
"There's something going on between the two of you. I don't pretend to understand that either, but nobody could miss the vibes the two of you are sending out. She watches you all the time and when she's not watching you, you're watching her. It's a good thing we're into the rainy season because the two of you put out enough sparks to start a forest fire."
Wade flushed, hoping like hell she was really sleeping and not just pretending, and embarrassed that Seth had noticed the attraction he apparently hadn't been able to conceal. "You're crazy."
"Maybe. But I've got to tell you, brother, if a man is lucky enough to find a woman like that, he'd be a damn fool if he didn't hang on to her and never let go."
Before Wade could respond, Seth shoved on his hat and headed out the back door toward his place.
Wade watched him go, a weird ache in his chest as his brother's words rolled around in his head.
Hang on to her and never let go.
Suddenly he wanted desperately to do just that.
How could this have happened?
He slid down to the much-used ottoman next to Caroline and watched her sleep in the flickering glow of the firelight. How could she have come to be so important?
Looking at her always seemed to take his breath away a little.
She was like something out of a painting hanging in one of the fancy galleries over the mountains in Jackson Hole, all soft, muted colors and elegant lines.
He hated to admit it but Seth was right. Caroline was different.
She had brought laughter and light back to the ranch, had given him hope again in a future that consisted of more than just next year's yield and what interest rates the bank would charge him.
He thought of his talk with Seth and realized suddenly that it was no coincidence they had never had that kind of conversation before. It was more than just Caroline opening his eyes to the importance of having something good to hold onto.
He hadn't talked with Seth about his dreams before because Wade had been so consumed with surviving the present—with the ranch and the kids and all of his many obligations as head of the family—that he hadn't allowed himself to give much thought to the future.
He hadn't wanted to think about the future, not when the present was so bleak.
Now it was as if a door in his mind and heart had opened somehow, showing him a world of possibilities. The only question was whether he was willing to take the chance of walking through that door.
The log in the fireplace finally burned through and broke apart with a loud crackle and a shower of sparks, and the sound seemed to jerk Caroline from sleep.
She blinked her eyes open slowly, like a tiny kitten exposed to light for the first time.
At first she looked confused and he saw the dull wash of pain there before awareness crept in and she sat up a little with just a tiny wince.
"Oh, dear. I've been asleep, haven't I?"
"Yes. I should have taken you back to bed earlier. You need a pain pill, don't you?"
She made a face and looked around the room, ignoring his question. "Did Seth leave?"
"Just barely."
"Before I drifted off, I heard you talking with him about training and breeding horses."
"It's a good idea. Seth has always been a hell of a horseman and if anyone can make it work, he can."
"He was certainly excited about it. More focused than I've seen him since I've been here. It was wonderful to see."
"Well, we've got a lot of planning to do before we bring in the first horse but we'll work up a business plan and see if it's feasible."
"You'll do it even if it's not a huge moneymaker for the ranch, won't you?"
She sounded so confident of it, he flushed that she could read him so accurately. "Probably. It's always good to diversify as long as it's not a big drain on our resources. And I've suddenly realized Seth needs something to call his own. I should have seen it before. Even though he works alongside me on the ranch, his heart has never really been in it. Not like mine is, not like Jake's is with his clinic."
She reached out and touched his arm. "You're a good brother, Wade."
More than he wanted his next breath, he wanted to tug her into his arms and kiss that soft smile. But she was hurting, he reminded himself. He could see it in her eyes. "Come on. Let's get you back to bed so you can take a pill and stretch out."
She must have been hurting more than she let on because she let him scoop his arms under her to lift her carefully from the recliner.
Her arms slid around his neck for balance and she tucked her head under his chin, and it was all he could do not to bury his face in the vanilla-ice-cream scent of her hair.
"I'm sorry you have to do this," she murmured.
I'm not, he almost said, but caught himself just in time. He didn't know how many more chances he would have to be close to her like this.
Hold her close and never let go. Seth's words echoed in his mind. If only things were that easy. Yes, he had feelings for her. But that didn't mean she returned them or that she could ever be happy at the Cold Creek.
He would do well to remember that.
He carried her into her room and set her carefully on the bed. "I'll get you some water so you can take a pill."
"I don't want any more pills."
"I can understand that but you'll sleep better if you do."
"Just tonight, though, then I'm throwing the bottle away."
He poured her water from the pitcher by her bed and handed it to her. "Do you need me to, uh, help you into the bathroom or anything?" he asked after she swallowed the pill.
She shook her head, color rising on her cheeks. "I think I can make it that far on my own. Thank you, though."
He had a million things he wanted to say to her but couldn't think of the right words for any of them.
"Well, good night, then. Call if you need anything."
"I will."
He turned to leave but froze when she reached out and touched her fingers to his arm again. She often touched him to emphasize a point, he was discovering. He didn't care why she did it, he just found he liked it, that he was hungry for any kind o
f contact with her.
"Wade, I…thank you so much for all you've done for me since I was injured. I know it's been hard for you to turn so much over to Seth but I'm grateful."
"I've learned some things through the experience. My kid brother can handle a whole lot more responsibility than I've been willing to give him over the years. I guess you could say your little run-in with that cow has been good for me and for my brother."
"I'm so pleased I could help you both out," she said dryly.
He laughed out loud and she gazed at him, a strange light in her eyes.
"What?" he asked, intensely aware of her hand still touching his arm.
"I've never seen you laugh before."
He stared at her, thinking back over the week she'd been at the ranch. He hadn't laughed once? It seemed impossible. "Am I really that much of a humorless curmudgeon?"
"You smile at the children sometimes but you don't laugh. And there's always a sadness in your eyes." She was quiet for a long moment, then she spoke softly. "It breaks my heart."
His heart seemed to tumble in his own chest at her low words. "Ah, Caroline."
For a moment, he was terribly afraid she was going to cry. Her mouth tightened and her eyes glistened but a moment later she smiled, though her eyes were still a little watery.
"Now that I know you have the ability to laugh, I'm going to do everything I can think of to make you do it again."
Her confident statement surprised another laugh out of him and she grinned triumphantly and squeezed his arm. "See? Whatever I'm doing is working already."
"Something is working," he murmured, then he couldn't help himself. He had to kiss her again.
As soon as their mouths tangled, reality rushed in and he froze, stunned at his impulsiveness. He would have jerked back but she slid her arms around his neck with a soft sigh he found incredibly sexy and returned his kiss with fierce intensity, as if she'd been waiting just for this.
Chapter Sixteen
Caroline forgot about the pain digging into her ribs, the throbbing from her leg wound. She forgot about the differences between them and her inevitable heartbreak when she left the ranch.
All she could focus on was Wade touching her, tasting her, like he couldn't seem to get enough.
He murmured her name in that slow, sexy drawl she had come to adore, the one she discovered he only slipped into once in a while when he forgot himself.
She wanted him to forget. She wanted him to think only of her, not the past or the future. Just this moment.
He was bent at an awkward angle, still standing while she was stretched out on the bed, so she slid over to make room for him and tugged him down to the bed beside her.
He pulled her across his lap, supporting her weight with his arm, and his hands were breathtaking in their gentleness as he traced her chin and tilted her face for his kiss.
His mouth explored her, tasting each hollow, each curve, until she wanted to weep from the emotions pouring through her—love and longing and terrible fear that she would never know this sweet wonder again.
She couldn't speak any of those feelings so she tried to show him with her mouth and her hands what was in her heart.
She couldn't have said how long he held her. A few moments? An hour? Time seemed to have lost all meaning; the only thing that mattered to her was Wade.
Finally, when she was beginning to seriously wish they could share more than these kisses, wonderful though they were, he wrenched his mouth away. "Stop. We have to stop."
"Why?"
His laugh—that sound she adored so much—sounded hoarse, strangled. "You want that list of reasons in alphabetical order or prioritized in order of importance?"
"Neither. I don't want you to stop kissing me." With her arms around his neck, she tried to pull his face down but he was far stronger than she was. He pulled her hands free and held them in his.
"Carrie, we can't. You're just loopy from the pain pill. It's wrong for me to take advantage of you like this."
Okay, maybe she was starting to feel a little buzz. The world suddenly seemed like a beautiful, shiny place, but she didn't know how much of that was from the pain pills and how much came simply from being in Wade's arms again.
"That's ridiculous. I've been dying for you to kiss me again since the last time."
When a muscle flexed in his jaw, she smiled and traced it with her forefinger, loving the rough texture of late-night shadow against her fingertips.
"Since the first night I stayed at the ranch, I've thought about it. Dreamed about it," she whispered.
His breathing caught and she watched his Adam's apple work as he swallowed hard. "You don't know what you're saying right now. You're not yourself."
She certainly couldn't seem to make her brain work the way she wanted it to, but still she smiled softly and reached for his hand. "Here's a confession for you, Wade. I'm more myself when I'm with you than I've ever been in my entire life."
He looked stunned, so shocked she wondered if she should regret being so open with him. No. She meant her words and she wouldn't take them back. Instead, she leaned forward and kissed him. He didn't move for several seconds, then he returned the kiss with tenderness and almost unbearable sweetness.
Finally he pulled away again, resting his forehead on hers. "You make it hard to leave,"
"You don't have to."
"We both know I do. You're hurting and you need to sleep and I…" He paused. "I need to think about all this."
"About what?"
He pulled away, sitting on the edge of the bed, and said nothing for a long time.
When he finally spoke, his blue eyes were solemn. "About the two of us. About where this might be heading and whether that's a journey I'm prepared to take right now."
She nodded, sensing the admission was not a comfortable one for him. She leaned back against her pillows, suddenly exhausted.
"I don't know if this will make any of that thinking easier or harder," she murmured, "but I should tell you that it would be very easy for me to have feelings for you."
"Caroline—"
"I just thought you should know, that's all."
He watched her for a long moment. "And I should tell you that while it would be very easy for me to return those feelings, I'm just not sure whether I'm ready to let myself do that."
She could be content with that, she thought as she closed her eyes and gave in to the exhaustion. It was far more than she'd ever expected.
* * *
Caroline woke the next morning with a sweet and giddy anticipation singing through her veins.
For the first few hazy moments after waking, she couldn't quite understand how it was possible to feel so happy when every inch of her body ached, and then recollection flooded back.
She settled back on the pillow and a smile blossomed as she remembered the tenderness of the night before, the intense, smoldering kisses.
Wade cared about her. He couldn't have kissed her, touched her so sweetly if he didn't.
Oh, she knew they still had much to work through and he could very well decide he wasn't ready for a new love yet. But she would wait. She had waited thirty years to discover what she really wanted out of life. She could wait a while longer for those dreams she hadn't known lived inside her to come true.
How could she ever have imagined when she'd set off on this impulsive journey to try dissuading Quinn from a hasty marriage that she would end up falling in love with a gruff rancher and his three adorable children? With the wild, harsh beauty of the Cold Creek?
She and Wade had a future together. She was sure of it. Now she just had to convince him.
But not without a shower first, she decided. She had contented herself with quick sponge baths since her accident but she needed the full deal today before she could face the day.
Wade had brought in a sturdy plastic lawn chair to give her added support in the bathroom and she maneuvered it into the shower then positioned her injured leg outside the
shower curtain so the bandage wouldn't get wet.
It was tricky work and by the time she finished, her ribs ached and her head was pounding, but she was blessedly clean.
When she turned off the spray, she heard a loud banging on the door, so insistent she had to wonder how long it had been going on.
"Caroline?" The voice was low, male and furious. "Caroline, what the hell are you doing?"
She reached for a towel off the rack. "Drying off."
"You've got no business doing that on your own!"
Was he offering to help? she wondered, her stomach trembling at the thought. Still she was compelled to refuse. "I think I can handle wielding a towel by myself, thanks."
"Not that part," he growled. "I meant the shower. You're going to fall and break your neck."
"I'm done now and I handled things just fine. I'm feeling much better this morning."
It was only a little lie, she told herself. She did feel better, but the qualifier was perhaps a bit on the excessive side.
"Why didn't you wait for someone to help you?"
She patted her hair with a towel. "I didn't need help. Everything's under control. I'll be out in a moment."
Suddenly she remembered with chagrin that she'd left her clean clothes on the bed in the adjoining room, thinking it would be much easier to maneuver out there where she had a little more room.
Under normal circumstances, she would wrap in a towel and grab them, but she wasn't entirely sure she could manage to stay covered and work the crutches at the same time.
She finally decided she had no choice but to throw on the robe she'd been wearing. She put it on again and ran a quick comb through her hair, then picked up her crutches.
When she hobbled out, doing her best to stay covered, she found Wade standing outside the door, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked so forbidding she had to wonder if she imagined the heat of the night before, some painkiller-induced fantasy.
No. Her imagination simply wasn't productive enough to conjure up something so magical.
"Where are the kids?"
"Nat's already on the bus and Seth took the boys into town with him to get some fencing. They always love a trip to the hardware store."
They were alone in the house, she realized, and her insides seemed to shiver as she wondered if he would take this rare opportunity for privacy to kiss her again.
Light the Stars Page 17
