Solving Us

by Susan Renee

  I confronted Karen about what happened with the Boston Cruise Lines but got nowhere. She knows I won’t go to Finn for help because that would admit my weakness and would also prove me to be a liar, which I am not. Soon enough, though, Finn asked me about it. He knew that the ending product was not what I had originally planned at all. I found myself in the position to either be a tattletale or a “team player”, so I explained to Finn that since Karen and Mr. Porter knew each other so well, she said she knew what he would like and spoke with him about changes while I was in California. Yep, that’s right, I defended my bully. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I know Karen is a second mom to Finn, so there’s no way I will win that fight. It’s easier to just let it go. I figure as long as I’m doing a kick-ass job with everything I do, there’s no way Karen can hold anything against me. I just wish I knew what I did to upset her so much.

  “That smells unbelievably delicious.”

  I’m standing at the stove, pouring the remains of a cinnamon apple syrup I made a bit ago to put over vanilla ice cream tonight in a bowl, when Finn walks into the kitchen, wrapping his hands around my waist. He brushes my hair off the right side of my neck, granting himself access to my “O.M.G. spot”, the spot right behind my earlobe that somehow shares an electric circuit with all the other important girly parts. I stop what I’m doing so that I don’t accidentally lose control and pour all the syrup onto the floor, except that just makes me think of how hot it would be to slide around on the floor in warm cinnamon apple syrup naked with Finn.

  Oh my God, that’s hot!

  “You think so?” I ask, smiling as I lean my head to the right, reveling in the warmth of his lips on my neck.

  “Mmm-hmm,” he says, trailing kisses across my shoulder and back up my neck. As he does so, he slides his hands across my stomach, trailing his fingertips along the waistline of my pants. He’s obviously hungry for something other than dessert, so I decide to play along. He will soon be in for a bigger surprise than he anticipates.

  “You want a taste?”

  “I’m getting my taste right now, Beautiful.”

  “No silly, that’s not what I meant. Here.” I hold the bowl up to him and dip my finger into the syrup. He watches with lustful hungry eyes as I put my finger in my mouth, licking and sucking the delicious sweet syrup. “Mmm,” I moan, closing my eyes in appreciation. It really is delectable.

  “My turn.” Finn dips his finger into the bowl and slowly moves his fingers toward his mouth. I gasp in surprise when I feel the warm syrup being spread behind my ear and down my neck. It feels like warm mud, or better yet, warm chocolate fudge. A whispered moan escapes my mouth at his surprise touch.

  “Shhh. Put the bowl down, Beautiful. We wouldn’t want to lose any of that when you lose control of yourself and drop it on the floor.”

  “Who says I’ll…lose…con…trol?” I drop the bowl back to the counter clumsily as Finn’s hands begin to move in opposite directions from one another. His left hand slides up under my shirt and glides smoothly over my skin until it comes to a halt just underneath my right breast. His right hand slips underneath the waistband of my pants and heads south where his fingers quickly come into contact with my now warm, wet skin. Luckily, the bowl makes it back safely to the counter because when Finn begins to slowly lick the syrup that is spread behind my ear while simultaneously cupping my breast and rubbing his fingers between my legs, I do indeed lose all control.

  And I don’t care.

  I’ll let him win.

  Over and over again.

  Because I love this game.

  “You’re so sweet, Olivia. I could lick this off of you all day, and you’re not wearing a bra...or panties. What the hell are you trying do to me?” Finn’s breathing is heavy and quickly speeding up. I can feel his breath as he licks and sucks on my neck.

  “We’re just spending the day here at home, so I guess I just assumed they would end up on the floor eventually. So why bother?”

  I smirk, unsure if he can see my face or if he is even looking at my face at all. It’s all I can do to stand up straight and not lose all the feeling in my legs. I push my chest out slightly signaling my enjoyment of Finn’s fondling, and he answers my request for more. I watch as his hand slips out of my shirt and back into the bowl of apple syrup. He slides his hand back under my shirt, grabbing me with now warm sticky fingers, and I cry out with arousal as he pulls me tightly into his embrace. Even through his black sweatpants, there is no mistaking his excitement.

  “Olivia.”

  “Finn,” I moan with pleasure. “Please…that feels...sooo...good.”

  “You smell divine, Olivia,” he whispers, trailing his tongue up my neck to my ear. “Babe, I promise to give you whatever you want for the rest of the weekend, but if I don’t lather your beautiful body with this warm softness and take you over my kitchen table, I’m not sure I can call myself a man.”

  I back up into Finn a bit more, grabbing his leg behind me. “Well you are certainly all man, so who I would I be to turn you down?” I’m so turned on he could ask me to do the Hokey Pokey, and I would say yes.

  Finn turns my body while still in his arms and walks us both the few steps over to the small kitchen dinette to our right. He pulls my shirt over my head and cups both of my breasts from behind, rubbing and squeezing them, slowly spreading the sugary substance all over me. It feels like a light exfoliator and a bottle of warming lube all rolled into one.

  It’s Heaven on my body.

  Finn bends me over the kitchen table and slowly pulls my sweatpants down trailing kisses down my butt and thighs.

  “Olivia, you are so beautiful. I need to have you now, right now before I explode just looking at you.”

  “Yes PLEASE, Finn. Hurry.”

  I hear Finn’s pants hit the floor and know he steps back for a minute. I grab onto the sides of the table, ready for him to mount me like an animal. I’m all for making love, but sometimes messy carnal sex is just what the doctor ordered. This is just straight up messy fun.

  Before I can take a deep breath, Finn’s hands are grabbing my breasts, lathering them with what has to be the remaining cinnamon apple syrup. Fuck the ice-cream. I don’t care. Dear God, I don’t care.

  “Hold on, Beautiful. I don’t want to hurt you.” Finn kisses my shoulder and then my neck and then kisses me between my shoulder blades all while continuing to fondle my breasts, spreading the warmth with every movement he makes. I can feel his erection between my legs and feel him spread my feet a tiny bit more with his own. He grabs my nipples and pinches them both as he slams into me, rocking me into the table with a grunt.

  “HOLY SHIT, FINN!!” I scream.

  “Are you okay? Am I hurting you?”

  “No God, please keep going! Don’t stop!”

  He feels fantastic inside me this way. I feel him as he slowly pulls nearly all of the way out, but rather than bracing for impact of his next thrust, I meet him halfway as he slams into me again. The kitchen dinette scrapes on the floor and repeatedly slams into the wall in front of us with the force of our weight as our bodies move together. We continue with this rhythm accelerating together until we are both so frantic we can’t hold back anymore. I hear Finn grunt as he pumps his release into me on his final thrust, which in turn, pushes me over the edge into my own sweet release. There we are, both standing naked in Finn’s kitchen, both a sticky, sweaty, sweet smelling mess and happier than we have ever been.

  “I love you, Liv.” Finn’s forehead is resting between my shoulder blades, his heavy breathing matching my own.

  “I love you too, Finn.

  Finn kisses my back once more before I feel him pull out of me and stand up. I turn around to face him and snuggle into his embrace. The warmth of the apple substance on my chest causes our bodies to stick together.

  “Baby, you smell delicious but we should probably shower and then clean up our mess.”

  “Only if you’ll join me.”

  �
��Olivia, that is an offer I will never refuse.”

  Once we are both showered and redressed, Finn orders us a pizza for dinner. I guess he had had his fill of making a mess with food for the day, but I don’t blame him. It’s nice to just relax on his living room floor together making small talk, and quite frankly, staring at Finn in his black sweat pants and fitted t-shirt is something I could do for the entire rest of the weekend. I relish in the way he makes me feel when I’m with him: so safe, so cared for, so loved. I don’t know how you ever really know when a guy is “The One”, but looking at Finn today, I could easily see him as my forever person.

  “Finn, I want to talk about something for a minute.”

  Finn chews his bite of pizza and nods his head at me. “Okay.” He takes a big breath and wipes his mouth with his napkin. “Actually I wanted to talk to you, too, but you go first. What do you want to talk about?”

  “Toby.”

  Finn cautiously tilts his head. “Toby? What about Toby?”

  “I want to meet him...again, I mean.”

  Finn sits stone still for a moment, looking at me with a vacant expression. He shakes his head slowly. “Olivia, you really don’t have to do that for me. I can plan to see him when you’re not here. I understand.”

  “Yeah but…”

  “But what?”

  I sit there on the floor, folding up my napkin one hundred different ways trying to think about how to explain what I’m thinking to him. I just can’t come up with the right words.

  “Liv?”

  “I….umm,” I start as I take a deep breath. I may as well get it all out in one breath before I change my mind. “Okay, well what if there comes a time, and I mean a while from now not like right now, but even some time in the next year or so, where maybe we’re together more often than we are now?”

  *enter cricket sounds here*

  “I mean, I don’t want you to feel like you have to be alone just so you can hang out with Toby, although, maybe you would rather be alone, and you won’t want me around more; I don’t know. I didn’t mean to invite myself I just, I meant, maybe it would be nice to have him here with us you know, when we’re together.”

  More crickets...

  Why isn’t he saying anything?

  Even more crickets…

  Oh, God! What did I do?

  “Finn? Can you please say something because you’re starting to freak me out here?”

  Finn blinks finally and tilts his head, watching me curiously.

  “You would do that? For me? You would be willing to meet Toby again, for me?”

  “I love you, Finn. And up until about eight years ago or so I loved dogs. Sometimes I look at you and think of Toby and think to myself that maybe God put you in my life for a reason. Maybe it’s some sort of fate that Toby looks so much like Max, and he’s your therapy dog, I mean, isn’t it ironic?”

  “Yes, Alanis, I think it is.”

  I chuckle and shake my head at Finn’s Alanis Morissette reference. I stare at him for a moment, allowing my thoughts to play catch up. “Maybe you’re that missing puzzle piece I lost years ago. Maybe you’re the entire red side to my fucked up Rubik’s Cube. I don’t know, but I know I love you, and I know I love being with you, and I love being a part of your life and an important part of your life is Toby, so I want him to become an important part of my life as well. That is, if it’s...if it’s what you want.”

  I shake my head in uncertainty. “I can’t promise it will be easy or that it will go perfectly the first time, but the fact that I’m even able to talk about a dog and not break into a panic-induced sweat means something is changing for me.”

  I can’t make out the expression on Finn’s face, but when I finish talking he immediately throws down his pizza slice and crawls over to me, and before I know it, my back is on the ground, and he is cradling me in his arms.

  “Olivia McGuire, I’m not sure I could be more in love with you than I am right here, right now. I don’t know where you came from, or how I was lucky enough to find you but...thank you. Thank you for even wanting to try this for me. For trying to overcome your fears...for me. I’m not even sure what else I can say other than you’re amazing, and you’re beautiful. Even beneath your beautiful you’re beautiful, Olivia, and I love you. Every part of you.”

  “Right back at ya, Hot Runner Guy.” I smile and quickly wipe the happy tear away that is floating down my cheek. “You make me so happy, Finn Kellan.”

  Finn sits up and stares at me for a moment, contemplating something. I can’t tell if he’s coming up with a mischievous plan or if he’s just thinking back to our conversation, so I let him sit there for a minute.

  “So, in the past couple of hours you gave me the unbelievable opportunity to spread apple syrup on your body and take you over my kitchen table - that part I’ve been fantasizing about for a while now - and now you’re telling me you want to meet Toby.” Finn shakes his head. “What did I do to deserve all this, and what can I give you in return? I’ll do as you wish, Olivia. All you have to do is ask.”

  As you wish...

  As you wish…

  “Well, how about you call and see if we can meet with Toby tomorrow while I clean up this pizza and get us a drink, and then we’ll have the movie night we originally planned. Then if we’re still awake after that, I can challenge you to a game of Twister.” I smirk.

  Finn’s eyes light up like a little kid on Christmas at my suggestion. “I think that sounds like a perfect Saturday night with my girl; but before I call about Toby, I want to tell you about an opportunity that could come our way, your way, if you want it.”

  “Ooh I’m intrigued!”

  What could this possibly be?

  “Well, I ran into a friend of mine the other day who is on the board at Mass. General Hospital, and he mentioned that they’re working on revamping their pet therapy program. That’s where I met Toby, so that program and supporting its success is sort of personal for me. Anyway, I told them I would do whatever I could to help with their advertising. It would be pro-bono of course, my gift to them for all they’ve done for me and...my family.”

  “Finn, that’s incredible! I’m willing to help in any way I can if you want it. You don’t even have to ask.” I’m elated to be able to do this with Finn and for Finn. My intrigue of the entire project perks up immediately. I could skip movie night and go right to the planning stage of this project if it weren’t for Finn’s expression.

  Uh oh....there’s bad news to this?

  Would Karen be on the team too?

  I feel the smile slip from my face as I swallow the huge lump in my throat. He looks scared. This can’t be good.

  “Yeah I do need to ask you actually. That’s just the thing, Liv. Asking you to help me with this project would mean possibly subjecting you to being in the company of dogs. I would never, ever want to put you into an environment that would cause you pain or anxiety or stress of any kind, but if it’s something you’re interested in, I would love to do it with you. Just you and me, together. Consider it your, uh, extra-curricular activity. I would pay you on the side.” Finn leans in to place a kiss on my neck. “Maybe with chocolate syrup next time if you know what I mean.”

  “Ah. Yes I think I understand very well, and I think it sounds like an amazing opportunity. Can we talk about it more tomorrow once I’ve spent some time with Toby? Maybe I’ll have a better idea of how I’ll be around dogs in general after that.”

  “Yeah, of course. I just want you to be comfortable. This is just one of those major opportunities that comes up now and again that will help push the company name in the spotlight and could be a huge springboard for your career. If it’s what you want, Liv, I want it for you.”

  I lean forward from where I’m seated and kiss Finn. As our lips separate, I nuzzle his nose with mine and give him another swift peck. “You’re the best, Finn. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Beautiful. I’ll go see if I can schedule Toby. Can you get our mo
vie started?”

  “As you wish,” I giggle picking up the pizza box and our plates to take to the kitchen.

  “What’s so funny?” Finn asks, confused.

  “You’ll see!” I shout from the kitchen as he makes his way into his office to make his call.

  It’s an epic fail that I’ve allowed Finn to go this long in our relationship having never seen “The Princess Bride”, so that, of course, is the movie I select for us to watch for the evening. We relax on the couch, snuggled under my favorite ivory throw blanket, and enjoy the rest of our evening together, including our late night game of Twister. I won this time, by the way.

  25

  We are just cleaning up breakfast when the doorbell rings. Trying to remain as nonchalant as possible, I continue to put away the last coffee mug. Placing the mug onto the shelf above my head, my hand shakes slightly, making the mug wobble before I let it go and slide it back further on the shelf. I quickly clear my throat in an effort to hide the wobbling sound of the ceramic mug. Meeting Toby is my idea, and I know in my heart I’m brave enough and willing, if not also a little excited; but my nerves are telling a completely different story. I don’t want Finn to think I’m weak and can’t handle it. I really don’t want to disappoint him.

  “Hey.” Finn places his hand on my shoulder and lightly kisses my neck. The physical touch of Finn’s hands is more calming to me than he could ever know. It makes me smile.

  “It’s okay to be nervous. I would be worried if you weren’t.”

  Obviously, he heard my wobbling coffee mug. Damn shaky hands.

  “I’m sorry. I really do want this,” I try to explain away my nerves. I give Finn a slightly panic-stricken look that he would disagree with our visit this morning. I pray that won’t be his decision.

  “I know. And I know you can do it, but don’t rush yourself, okay? I’ll get the door this time. Let me get Toby settled, and I’ll come get you. We’ll do this together.”

  I squeeze Finn’s arm that was wrapped around me. “Thank you, Finn.”