Solving Us

by Susan Renee

  If Mandy knows about my past, Karen knows about my past.

  If Karen knows, who else knows, too?

  Is this ever going to go away?

  My phone rings at my desk. I look down at the caller ID and see Finn’s name flash across the screen. I take a deep breath and shake my head to clear my thoughts as quickly as possible before picking up the receiver.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “Hey, Beautiful. I have something to show you, but I would rather do it in person; can you stop by my office quickly?”

  “Sure. Be up in a minute.”

  “Great. See you soon.”

  I hang up my phone and close my laptop before exiting the office.

  “Going somewhere, Olivia?”

  Seriously?

  Is she keeping constant tabs on me, or what?

  I turn around in front of the elevator door to face Karen once again.

  “Finn needs to see me for a moment. Did you need something?”

  Karen shrugs and shakes her head. “You’ve just been spending a lot of time in his office lately. You know, for someone who likes to keep her relationship separate from work. Those were your words, weren’t they? I just want to make sure you’re getting your other projects done in a timely manner. I would hate for you to miss a deadline.”

  Bitch!

  Enough. I’ve had enough.

  You don’t get to treat me like shit.

  I take a deep breath and smile at Karen refusing to give her what she wants, to see me riled up and emotional over something she said. “First of all Karen, you know very well that Finn and I have been working on a pro-bono project for a while now. Second, my other projects will most certainly be completed in a timely manner, as all of my projects have since I started here. Clients have been contacted, and my team is working diligently. Third, if you have a problem with the amount of time I’m spending with the CEO of this company,” I annunciate Finn’s title as clearly as humanly possible. “Then why don’t you accompany me to his office, so we can have that conversation with him? I’m sure he would be more than happy to hear your concerns. He is an excellent listener.”

  Take that, Bitch!

  The elevator dings and the doors open. I step inside and turn around while holding the doors open for Karen. I tilt my head and hold her stare. It’s one thing for her to have a say over whether or not I’m doing satisfactory work for this agency; it’s a total cross of the line to attempt to call out any of my personal relationships. Karen’s nostrils flare, and her eyes narrow momentarily before she recomposes herself.

  “Oh believe me, Olivia, Finn knows how I feel, and yes I agree, he is an excellent listener.” She rolls her eyes. “I have work to do.”

  I scoff, quietly standing in the elevator, as I watch her walk away before the doors close in front of me.

  Bitch

  Bitch

  BITCH!

  “What the hell have I done to piss her off so much?” I mutter to myself. I work my ass off around here. I’ve more than proven myself as a competent and successful member of this team, and yet the sand in her vagina just won’t wash away. She makes me want to drink. I need Abby to calm me down. I need my person, a stiff margarita, some loud music, and night of dancing until I can’t move anymore.

  “Ugh, she’s a bitch!”

  “Who’s a bitch?” Finn asks me wearing his amused expression. The elevator doors had opened simultaneously to me talking to myself I suppose a little too loudly. Oops.

  I sigh and roll my eyes. “Nobody.”

  “Olivia?” Finn’s amusement washes away quickly and is replaced with concern. “What is it?”

  “No, nothing. Sorry. I’m fine. Just...it’s nothing. I can take care of it. Nothing a good run and a strong drink can’t fix.”

  “Yeah, because that fixed whatever was bothering you the last time you ran after a stressful day. Do you have an angry client or something?”

  “It’s fine, really. I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I put my hand up in front of me as if to shoo away the questions and concerns.

  Finn takes a deep breath and assesses my expression before conceding to my request. “Okay, but promise me if it starts to stress you out that you’ll come to me.”

  “I’m a big girl, Finn. I can handle it, but thank you for your concern.” I smile at him as sweetly as I can and take a quick deep breath. “So, what did you want to show me?”

  “Right. Yes, come with me to my office.”

  I walk with Finn down the hallway to his office, saying hello to Grace Hoover along the way. “So, I have us scheduled to meet with the hospital board on Friday to present our campaign. Do you want to do the honors? You don’t have to, but you taking the lead would absolutely put your name in the spotlight.”

  “You really want me to do that? I mean, this has been your idea all along. It’s kind of like your baby. I would never piggy-back on your position, Finn.” I feel his hand on the small of my back as he escorts me into his office shutting the door behind him. He grabs my right hand and tugs me into him, kissing me soundly before stepping back and cradling my face in his hands.

  Whoa!

  Whatever that was, I’ll take two please!

  “And that response is why I’m in love with you, Olivia McGuire. You didn’t know who I was when we met. You’ve given this company one hundred and ten percent, and you’ve never asked me for a professional favor. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. I want to do this for you.”

  “If it’s what you want, Mr. Kellan,” I tease. “Then I’ll be happy to lead the presentation, thank you.” I softly kiss his cheek and smile at his amusement.

  “There’s something else I need to ask you,” Finn says excitedly.

  “Okay; I’m all ears.”

  “Well, the hospital is planning a fundraising gala for December eighteenth, and they would like to unveil our ad campaign, assuming they approve it, at the gala. They have extended us an invitation to attend the gala, everyone at the Kellan Agency in fact.”

  My eyebrows rise in surprise. “Wow! That sounds like a fun evening.”

  Does Karen have to come, too?

  “Yeah, it does. I’ve been to hospital galas before, and I can promise you this one will be every bit as phenomenal.”

  Finn leaves me and walks over to his desk where I just happen to see his Rubik’s Cube resting on his planner, completely red on one side. Was I supposed to notice that? He picks up a single long stemmed red rose and a box that looks eerily like a shoebox.

  “We talked a long time ago about the fact that you never got to go to your senior prom.” He smirks. I can’t help but chuckle out loud.

  Where is this going, and what is in that box?

  “Okay, yeah. Keep talking.” I laugh at the twinkle in Finn’s eyes. I’m pretty sure I can feel what’s coming next.

  “Well,” Finn starts. “I was going to send you a check-yes-or-no letter, but I thought nah, that’s too old fashioned. I was going to plan a flash mob performance, but I just don’t have the time to rehearse, so screw it. I can do better than a high school prom anyway, so Olivia, would you do me the honor of attending the Gala on my arm? If you say yes, I’ll show ya what’s in the box, but if you say no...well, I guess I’ll just have to return the box.” He winks.

  He presents me with the rose, and I laugh again at his extreme cuteness. “Well…” I pretend to think about my options for a minute, scrunching up my nose and twisting my mouth. “I would say no but…I have to know what’s in that box, so you’re in luck Mr. Kellan; I would love to go with you.” I wink back at him.

  Finn laughs with me as he hands me the box wrapped in shimmering silver paper complete with a silver bow. “Here. A little something I thought you might like to wear on prom night.” Finn gives me his shit-eating grin that makes me blush immediately. He wouldn’t dare present me with lingerie at work, so I hope these are shoes...or gloves or a shawl or something. I rip open the paper, and my eyes grow huge at the white box I’m hold
ing in my hand. I know by the name printed neatly across the top of the box that this is no cheap gift. I slowly open the lid and lay my eyes on the most stunning pair of shoes I think I have ever seen: champagne metallic leather platform heels.

  “Jimmy Choo? Finn, oh my gosh I can’t believe...what did you...why did…? These are gorgeous!” My mind is completely blown as I take a shoe out of the box, handing the box to Finn to hold. I turn the sparkling shoe over and around in my hands, inspecting every detail from the curved lines of the straps that almost cross in the front of the shoe to the adorable zippers in the back.

  “You’ll be my Cinderella wearing the most beautiful almost-glass-slippers at the ball. I can’t wait to have you on my arm.”

  “Finn, this is so incredibly sweet. Thank you so much. This is too much, really. I’m so flattered that you even remembered my not going to my prom. You’re such a gentleman, and I would be proud to attend the gala with you.”

  The remainder of my day is blissfully calm since Karen has left early to work on her classwork. It’s nice to laugh with the guys and quietly get my to-do list accomplished. I still make sure to tell Abby all about my run-in with Karen when I get home from work. Sure enough, as soon as I’m done talking, we order Chinese food for dinner and then rip open the tequila, vodka, gin, rum, and triple sec and for me, the raspberry liqueur. We crank up the wireless speaker and dance out to every angry song we can think of. My personal favorite is wholeheartedly dedicated to Karen Elena. I sing the lyrics to “You’re a Bitch”, by Cars Can be Blue louder than I think I ever have without a care in the world of any of our neighbors. If anyone comes knocking to complain, we’ll just invite him or her to join us. Sometimes you just have to dance the bad day away with your best friend.

  27

  Finn and I put in many long hours together working on the new ad campaign for “Paws for Patients”, Mass. General Hospital’s pet therapy program. The hospital board loved our presentation and unanimously voted to approve the campaign for print. In just one month, we will be with our clients as they roll out the red carpet for their fundraising gala, where they will unveil the new campaign. This event is shaping up to be huge! Excitement abounds around the office as everyone prepares for the formal party. Ladies talk animatedly about dress shopping, while the guys talk about how much free alcohol will be on tap. This is all typical, but what has me excited is not just that I’ll be on the arm of the most attractive man in Boston but that my BFF and roommate, Abby, will get to attend with me. I wasn’t surprised when Austin called Abby for a date several weeks ago. I could see the interest there the first time they laid eyes on each other. I’m pretty sure I called this pairing not too long ago, and to be honest, I sort of like the idea. Austin is a great guy and seems grounded enough for Abby’s live-by-the-seat-of-her-pants ways. They seem good together so far, and I’m happy for them, even if they do move pretty fast.

  Abby and I spend Saturday afternoon dress shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue. We go through gown after gown after gown until we both find what we are looking for. Abby, of course, picks out a V-neck gown in black and white. It is stunning, and although a little short in the front for my personal taste, the dress screams her name when she puts it on. It hugs her in all the right places and shows off her gorgeous long legs that every guy seems to drool for. Abby is never afraid of taking risks, and as she puts it, “It’s easy access in case he wants to cop a feel.” I just shake my head, roll my eyes, and laugh.

  That’s my Abs.

  After what feels like thirty different gowns, I finally find the perfect dress for myself. I want something with sleeves, given the winter season upon us. I want something dark in color that will still look magnificent with my Jimmy Choos, and I want something understated. It’s not my intention to stand out among the crowd at this gala. I just want to feel like Cinderella spending an evening with her prince. I find a long-sleeved, midnight blue duchesse satin gown with a V-back and tiered train. It is beautifully understated but exquisite. It also covers all of my scars flawlessly, so I know I won’t be distracted with insecure thoughts throughout the evening. Ironically, when I step out of the dressing room, I know it’s the dress for me when Abby says, “Well shit, Olivia. If you had glass slippers and a tiara, you could be Cinderella in that gown. I think that’s the one.”

  We both decide to make these dresses and our manis and pedis we scheduled for the day of the gala our Christmas gifts to each other. This is just a little splurge among friends. Finn offered to pay for our shopping spree earlier this week, but I politely turned him down. Damn if he isn’t the most thoughtful man I have ever met, but I’m not with Finn for his money. Abby and I are doing just fine on our own, and what better way to celebrate the holidays with my BFF than painting our nails and dressing up like princesses for one night. After we make our purchases, I send a quick text to Finn to let him know of my success.

  Me: Found a dress! Can’t wait to be your Cinderella!

  Finn: Great.

  Me: Miss you though. Are you having a good day?

  Finn: Yeah.

  Me: What are you up to?

  Finn: Not much.

  Me: Are you working?

  Finn: No.

  Me: Hey. Why the short answers? Are you okay?

  Finn: I’m fine.

  I frown at Finn’s last text. He’s definitely not fine. I’m not sure why he’s giving me such short answers; this doesn’t seem like him at all. He almost sounds pissed off or sad or…

  Wait.

  Oh no.

  “Abby, what’s the date today?” I ask cautiously.

  Abby pulls out her cell phone in the cab and checks the date. “It’s November fifteenth. Why? Something wrong?”

  “Shit,” I whisper to myself.

  “What? What is it? Did you miss a deadline or something?” she asks.

  “No. This is the weekend Sydney died. November sixteenth. I was just texting with Finn, and his answers are short and straight and that’s usually not like him. That has to be it. He’s upset. It’s an anniversary for him, and I forgot about it! How could I have been so stupid?”

  “Liv, it’s totally okay. Go to him! Spend the night with him, and give him some love to help him through. We had a great day, but he needs you.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t want me there. He could’ve told me when we talked about this weekend that he wanted me there, but he didn’t. But then again, maybe he’s upset that I didn’t even think about the date. Ugh! I’m the worst girlfriend.”

  “Trust me, Liv. He may think he doesn’t want you there, or that it’s okay that you’re not there, but I’m positive if you walked into his apartment right now he would hug you and thank you for coming. Men need us as much as we need them. They’re just too proud to say it. Go. You need to be there.”

  “Yeah? You sure you’re okay with that? I don’t ever want to just split on you, Abs. This was a fantastic girls’ day.”

  “Are you kidding? We’re both going to look drop dead gorgeous, and we did get to spend the morning and afternoon together. It would be terrible for you to not be there for him when he needs you. He just doesn’t know he needs you. Or maybe he does and doesn’t want to spoil your weekend.”

  “You’re the best bestie a girl could have; you know that?”

  Abby throws me her cat-ate-the-canary grin as she likes to do as our cab pulls up to our apartment building. “Sure as hell do. Now give me your dress, and get out of here. Go do your thing. And give him a little hug from me.”

  “Thanks, Abs. And don’t think I don’t know that you’re going right upstairs to call Austin, so you can get some tonight.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Olivia!” That’s all I hear as she waltzes into our building.

  I sit back in my seat and give the cab driver Finn’s address. “Oh, but can we stop somewhere first? I need to pick up something.”

  “Yes, Ma’am.”

  Twenty minutes and a quick trip to Target later, I’m thanking my
cab driver and heading into Finn’s apartment building. The guard already knows who I am and doesn’t question my appearance, so I head up on the elevator. Finn has no idea I’m here, so I’m hoping he’s happy to see me. When I knock on his door, I immediately hear Toby barking.

  Of course Toby would be here.

  Good. This is good.

  The door swings open, and I’m greeted by two of my favorite guys.

  “Olivia? What are you doing here?” Finn looks a little worried, so I do my best to put him at ease as quickly as possible.

  “I’m a terrible girlfriend who didn’t even think about what weekend this was, and I’m so sorry for that. It wasn’t on purpose; I promise,” I breathe. “But, I’m here now.”

  Finn gives me a weak smile and tilts his head, watching me like I’m a cute puppy dog doing tricks. “You didn’t have to break your date with Abby, Liv. I’m okay.”

  “Really?” I ask quietly. I don’t want to offend him or make a bigger deal out of this weekend than I should, but his sweatpants, t-shirt, messy hair, and a beer in his hand tell me something different. “Because I can…”

  “NO!” He interrupts. “I mean, you’re here now, so I don’t want you to leave.”

  I hold up the bag in my hands to show him. “I have a bag full of X-Men movies, graham crackers, and Hershey bars. Want to share?”

  The look on Finn’s face says it all. He’s astonished that I remembered the stories he’s told me about him and Sydney. He reaches out his hand and pulls me into his arms, wrapping them tightly around me. I feel him kiss the top of my head before he inhales deeply.

  “Thanks, Liv. I’m really glad you’re here.”

  Toby barks beside us and paws my leg. He’s wagging his tail as I bend down to pet him. “Are you glad I’m here, too, big boy? Is this guy not snuggling you enough, or what?”

  Finn laughs and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder as I yelp in surprise. I watch Toby follow along behind us as Finn carries me to the living room couch. “I’ll show you snuggling, Woman. I can snuggle with the best of them.”