Not anymore.
I was safe.
And frankly, the result was still the same.
This information affected Derek far more than it could ever affect me. He was kidnapped and betrayed at the hands of his own family. His sister.
I shook my head, trying to wrap my thoughts around it all.
“Wait,” I finally said. “But you were kidnapped, too.” His sister couldn’t possibly have arranged his kidnapping as well.
“That’s why they weren’t supposed to hurt me,” he half growled.
I felt my mouth drop open. “You mean your sister had you kidnapped?”
It was absurd.
His expression was grim. “Yeah.” A stricken look crossed his features. “You wanna know the worst part?”
“What?”
“I can’t even blame her.”
The audible sound of me sucking in breath was all that could be heard for a long second.
Derek’s shoulders slumped, and he moved even farther away from the bed. “I’ve spent a lot of time around patients who need an organ transplant. I’ve watched families sit at bedsides and gather when a patient draws their last breaths. The truth of a failing organ or any kind of life-claiming disease changes people. People who are ordinarily good, who inherently know right from wrong. Individuals who don’t even have so much as a speeding ticket or a mark on their record… Death alters them. It makes them desperate. I understand that feeling so well. Not because I’ve seen it, but because it lives inside me.”
Derek lifted a hand and pressed it against his chest, absentmindedly rubbing. I thought about the look in his eye—the haunted, tormented look—when the kidnappers were taunting him with the fact that my organ would save his nephew.
He debated.
I’d seen it right there at the forefront of his stare. He asked himself if he could sacrifice my life for that of someone he loved.
I’d been alarmed and afraid… but at the same time, I also understood his debate.
Rocco was just a little boy.
“No parent should ever watch a child suffer. No mother should have to see her son stare death in the face.” He spoke with the kind of passion that could only come from experience.
“You’re more like his father than his uncle, aren’t you?” I asked quietly. I felt the waves of pain coming off him. The very tinge of the desperation he spoke of clung to the air.
“His father left him when he was just a baby.” He shook his head. “How anyone could leave that boy I will never, ever understand.”
I couldn’t sit here and say I understood how Derek felt. What he was describing was something I’d never experienced.
But I could imagine.
And I could see.
I could see so clearly what Rocco’s failing body was doing to Derek.
“Laura knew what I never said out loud. She knows his body won’t hold out forever. Day by day, she grew more desperate. Hour by hour she sat by his hospital bed, and she went a little madder. For that, I blame myself. I should have known. I should have recognized how hard she was taking it.” Derek’s bleak stare penetrated my heart. “I might not be the one who set this plan in motion, but it’s my fault you were kidnapped.”
“This is not your fault,” I immediately replied.
“If I had seen her spiraling into darkness, this might not have happened.” He sounded so tortured, so willing to take the blame for someone else’s mistakes.
“You can’t save everyone, Derek. I know you know that. The lines are getting blurred because this is family. None of this is your fault. You’re a victim, too.”
“I was never really part of it. Apparently, the plan was for one of them to cut out the kidney. But once they had you, she got scared,” he explained, not agreeing nor disagreeing with my statement.
“She was worried they would ruin the organ and it wouldn’t be viable.” I surmised.
He nodded once. “So she had me kidnapped, too. She thought I would just do it.” The bewilderment in his tone as he spoke was not lost on me. “She thought I would buckle to the pressure, toss all my training, all my morals aside, and just cut out your kidney. After that, I was to be let go. They were supposed to deliver it to the hospital without me knowing, and when I arrived, I would never have known I was putting the very same kidney I’d just stolen out of your body into my nephew.”
“What about me?” I whispered, hoarse. “She was going to sell the rest of me to the highest bidder?”
He made a choked sound. “She swears she ordered you be kept alive as well. They were supposed to drop you off at an entrance to some emergency room a couple hours from here.”
“But we both saw the kidnappers’ faces.” I objected. It puzzled me she wanted me left alive. That wasn’t what those men had said.
“They were supposed to be out of the country by the time you were coherent enough to talk and I was out of surgery and preoccupied with Rocco’s recovery. So even if we gave their descriptions, those assholes would have been out of reach.” He paused.
“But they were going to kill me.” I argued.
“Of course they were,” he muttered. “What the fuck did she think would happen, dealing with black market thugs? She thought they would listen and do what they were told. Men like that have their own agenda. They saw you as giant payday, and they saw me as an easy way to get clean, viable organs so they could charge even more.”
“What if they killed you?” Anger began to work its way up the back of my neck. I felt it flushing my skin; soon it would be in my cheeks.
How could Derek’s sister take a chance with her brother’s life—the man who stepped in to help raise her son?
“She was going to pay them very handsomely to leave me alive. She convinced them if I ever found out, I wouldn’t say shit because he’s my nephew.”
“That’s why they tried to use him when you balked,” I added.
“Yeah,” he muttered.
He rubbed a hand over his head. His floppy hair went every which way. “But she made one fatal mistake. There was a giant, gaping hole in her not-so-well-plotted plan.”
I tilted my head to the side, feeling the ends of my hair tickle my arm. “What’s that?”
“She picked the one person on this entire planet no one could ever convince me to hurt.”
So many emotions. This conversation—okay, no. That last sentence Derek just spoke singlehandedly caused an uproar inside my chest.
On one very large hand, I was charmed and amazed it was me he wouldn’t hurt. It made me want him more. On the other hand (maybe not so large as the first one…) was a little bit of concern for the man I wanted.
“Are you saying you would have done it if it had been anyone other than me?” I asked, my voice small.
“No.” He glanced away. “I don’t know!” In a burst of frustration, he shoved the hard, lumpy chair away (his words, not mine), and it skidded across the room to clatter against the wall.
I winced but otherwise didn’t cower. I wasn’t afraid of Derek. I doubted I ever would be.
But I was afraid for him.
Of what he might do to correct his sister’s wrongs.
It took me a minute to shove the tightly tucked blankets down the mattress. Once I had enough space, I ignored the protests in my body and the stinging in my wrist to crawl over the bed to the opposite side where the IV pole stood. The hand with the needle in the back gripped the cold metal gently as I rolled it around the bed toward where Derek stood. I used it as a crutch to help me walk because the leg with the bullet wound was more sore now than ever.
He faced away from me, staring at the wall. His back and shoulders heaved, like he couldn’t catch his breath.
What his sister had done was beyond cruel.
I might have been the one sacrificing body parts (maybe my life), but the biggest victim in all of this was him.
Betrayal by those you love and are supposed to be able to trust more than anyone cuts deep. It leaves permane
nt scars in places no one ever sees but the afflicted feels forever. She took advantage of him, of his position as a surgeon. She lied, plotted, and played with his life.
Not only that, but she put him in a position where he had to basically chose between his nephew, the boy who was most important to him, and his morals.
Clearly, he had a well-developed sense of right and wrong.
Laura pitted himself against himself. She pitted his love for family against the core of who he was.
I, too, understood she must have been terribly desperate. But that was no excuse.
She’d gotten caught. Her son might lose his mother after already losing his father.
He would be left with Derek.
They would be two victims of desperation.
And what if Rocco died?
Derek would be left all alone. Silently suffering and silently blaming himself for the death of a boy he might have prevented if only he’d sacrificed himself and killed someone else.
A very real ache was developing behind my eyes.
A very real ache was developing in my chest.
Without hesitation, I reached out to him. My hand glided over the small of his back. The green scrub shirt felt soft and worn beneath my skin.
Derek stiffened and whipped his head around, shock in his face, like he hadn’t even heard me move.
“Hey,” I murmured.
His body rotated around. He was so tired, his eyes appeared bruised. I lifted a hand to swipe gently at the dark marks ringing them. I wanted to tell him it would be okay, but I didn’t want to lie.
Seemed he’d been lied to enough, even for just a statement made to comfort.
Instead of speaking, I wrapped both my arms around his middle and pressed in close. My cheek pillowed on his chest, and a rumbly sound vibrated my ear. Both arms came around me until I was consumed by his body.
My eyes slid closed as I stroked a hand up and down the lower portion of his spine. Hair from the top of my head tangled in the scruff of his beard, but instead of pulling back, Derek settled in closer.
“I wish I knew what to say,” I whispered. “But I don’t. I’m sorry this is happening.”
“I should be apologizing to you.” He corrected.
I squeezed a little tighter. “This isn’t your fault, Derek. Nothing leading up to this and nothing that might happen from here on out. I know you don’t believe that, but I do.”
“How can you not blame me?”
“No offense, but that’s a stupid question.” I leaned back enough to look up.
He made a sound. “No more stupid that you thinking I regretted not killing you.”
“Touché,” I murmured and laid my head back on his chest.
“I thought about it,” he rasped. I heard the self-loathing in his tone. “It makes me ashamed.”
“Don’t be ashamed of loving someone so much you would consider doing anything possible to save them.” My words were gentle, truthful.
His arms tightened around me. “I can’t hurt you. Not even for him.”
I didn’t say anything because I just wanted to feel those words. I wanted to let them linger in the air a little while.
We didn’t speak. I continued to stroke his back while we took comfort from each other.
“Derek?” I asked after a short while.
“Fairy?”
I smiled. “Why me? Why did your sister pick me to kidnap?”
Against me, his body went taut. The steely way his muscles froze almost made me shudder. He was powerful; there was a lot of physical strength in this man.
“She paid someone on staff here at the hospital to do a record search for someone with Rocco’s same rare blood type.”
Of course. “And I was in the records because I donate blood here but also because they have a sort of employee file on me because of Curbside Coffee.” I finished.
“Not only that, but you’re young, healthy, and small.” He spoke in his professional tone I’d come to recognize.
“Wouldn’t she have wanted someone bigger?” I puzzled.
“Rocco’s only ten. A smaller organ would fit him better. Less chance of rejection.”
“Basically, I’m a perfect match.”
His body went tight again. “On paper.”
I glanced up. “What do you mean?”
“There are other tests that need to be run to help verify if you would actually be a good match. My sister was desperate and willing to take a chance.”
I gasped. “What if his body rejected it?”
“There’s always a possibility of rejection. Even with a perfect match. It all depends on how the body responds to the new tissue of a foreign organ,” he explained, slipping a little more into doctor mode. “But the chances are reduced with, say, a candidate like you. He would have received the transplant and started anti-rejection meds immediately. If anything, the new kidney potentially would have bought him some extra time.”
The weight of that little boy’s life suddenly settled on my shoulders. It was probably one quarter of the weight Derek carried, and I was already overwhelmed.
I almost felt guilty, too.
Here I was walking around with two healthy kidneys, and there were some people that desperately needed one. One was a little boy Derek loved unconditionally.
I knew I wasn’t selfish. But I kind of felt like it in that moment.
Why me? Why did I have health while others didn’t?
“But the kidney could be a match? It could give him a whole new life?” I asked.
“That’s what my sister was banking on.”
“What do you think?” I pulled away and faced him.
“I think life’s unfair. And I think the only being that gets to decide who lives and dies is God. Not me. Not black market criminals… and not desperate parents willing to do anything to save a child.”
“You wouldn’t have done it,” I said.
His eyes bounced between mine. “What?”
“A few minutes ago, you said you weren’t sure if you’d have done it if it had been anyone but me.”
He made a face like he was disgusted with himself.
I smiled. “You wouldn’t have done it no matter who it was.”
“What makes you so sure about that?” He pressed.
“Because you respect life. That’s why you became a doctor, isn’t it? Not only to help people, but because you have a deep respect and understanding of the cycle of life.”
“Maybe I just like the salary attached to my job title,” he quipped.
I gave his shoulder a light shove. “You always use humor and sarcasm when you want to distract someone from the truth.”
His coffee-colored gaze settled on me once more. “I feel like I’ve known you a really long time. And not just what your job is, how cute you look peeking over the counter of your coffee truck, or how much I like to kiss you. I feel like I really know you.”
“I feel the same way.” I admitted.
He tilted his head to the side. “Product of the life-and-death situation perhaps?”
“Maybe,” I allowed. Though, deep down, I felt there was more. We’d been circling around each other for a while before any of this happened. “Where is your sister now?” I asked.
His mouth flattened into a thin line. “Upstairs with Rocco.”
I was surprised by this. I just assumed she’d be in jail.
“Have the police been by yet?” I asked. “Did I miss them?”
“They were here.” He hedged. “I told them to come back this morning. You were sleeping, and I didn’t want anyone to bother you.”
“Or maybe you were putting off giving a statement,” I suggested.
He lifted the ends of my hair and rubbed them between two fingers, saying nothing at all. Suddenly, I felt self-conscious about how I looked and smelled.
“I need a hot shower and some clothes.” The yearning in my voice earned me a little smile.
“I could probably get you sprung this mor
ning.”
“Yes, please,” I groaned.
“I’ll see what I can do.” He started to move away.
I caught his hand. The way he automatically entangled our fingers caused my heart to skip a beat.
“Did you talk to the police yet?” I asked.
His fingers jerked against mine, but he didn’t pull away. “Yeah. I told them what happened, where to find the bodies…”
“Do you think they both died?” I whispered, feeling myself go cold. Even though I hated those men, thinking about their dead bodies lying at that farm was not a pleasant thought.
Honestly, though? Knowing they couldn’t hurt me anymore was comforting.
“The taxi driver? Absolutely,” Derek replied. Then he turned thoughtful. “The other man? More than likely. It was a gut shot. He probably slowly bled out.”
I squeezed my eyes closed.
“Shit,” Derek swore and tugged me into his chest. We still held hands, neither of us willing to let go, so he wrapped only one arm around me. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have been so graphic.”
“After what happened, it really wasn’t graphic,” I muttered.
“You don’t need any reminders, though.”
“Did you tell them about your sister?” I asked, finally putting voice to the question I really wanted to ask.
Against me, his chest puffed out and he exhaled. “No.”
I heard what he didn’t say.
“If both kidnappers really are dead, then there’s no one left to point the finger at her but us,” I said.
Derek released me all the way, pulling his body and his hand from mine.
It made me feel cold.
“I’m not saying she should get away with this. I’m not excusing it or even forgiving it. I’m so fucking pissed. I’m so torn up inside I can barely think about her without seeing black.” He paused and took a breath. “But I couldn’t do it. The words were right there on the tip of my tongue when the police were standing in front of me. But I couldn’t tell them. How could I take away his mother?”
Again, the position his sister put him in qualified her as the worst relative in the history of relatives.
“I’m gonna go see about your release,” he said. “I’ll be back.”
Taxi (Take It Off #11) Page 16
