I didn’t even realise that another hour had passed until I opened my eyes again. I was more relaxed than I had been in, well, ever. I pulled off the headphones and then smiled at her.
“Thank you. I’m all better now.”
“What was that?”
I shrugged, not really wanting to make a big deal out of my weakness. If Danny or his boys found out about the attacks, they might never put me in a car again. “Nothing really. Just a panic attack.” I tried to make a mental note of how easy they were to dismiss when I wasn’t in the grips of one.
“Are they the reason you’ve been crashing out?”
I shook my head. “No, I’ve never had one while driving. They usually only hit at night when I can’t sleep.” Or when I wake from dreams of you. I sighed.
“You suffer from insomnia?”
I nodded. “For . . . quite a while now.” I’d stopped myself from saying four years before it was too late.
She seemed to consider this information for a while. “Is that why you have a problem with gratuitous drug use?”
“Maybe. Like I said, it’s easy to grow reliant on those pills.” I shrugged, still unwilling to get into the full nitty-gritty of that story with her. We fell into silence, but it was at least a slightly more comfortable silence than the last time.
A few minutes later, Alyssa spoke again.
“It was actually really nice running into you, Dec,” Alyssa said. Her words reminded me that we only had about half an hour left before the plane was due to land. She chuckled. “And those are words I never thought I’d say.”
“I still owe you that drink.” I wasn’t ready to give up my time with her just yet.
“It’ll be like six in the morning when we land. Why don’t we catch up tomorrow after we’re both rested?”
I nodded, but then I had a thought. “Where are you staying?”
“I was just going to find a place somewhere in the airport to shower and maybe crash for a few hours. My hotel room isn’t ready until later this afternoon. There wasn’t much point booking anything when the plane landed so early.”
“I have free unlimited use of the apartment I mentioned earlier. Why don’t you have a shower and catch some sleep there?”
“I’m not really sure that’s such a good idea,” she said with a hesitant edge to her voice.
“Come stay. Please?” I begged, pouting a little to get my point across. “I promise I’ll keep as far away as you want me to. I just want to know that you’ll be safe. I wouldn’t feel right letting you wander off into the night in a foreign country with nowhere to stay.”
She pursed her lips together in thought for a moment before nodding. “Okay, but only if we can change the drink to breakfast.”
“Why don’t we start with breakfast and see where it takes us?” I offered her my panty-dropping smile and turned on the charm.
When she nodded, a worried grimace crossed her features instead of a smile. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I was happy to celebrate the small win I’d had.
Finally the plane began its descent, and I couldn’t help thinking that Danny had been right to send me on this trip. It may just change my life after all.
CHAPTER TEN: NO COMPLICATIONS
ONCE WE’D BOTH arranged our things, I carefully pulled both my and Alyssa’s bags down from the overhead and slung them onto my shoulders. Even though I knew she was more than capable of carrying her own, there was no way I was going to risk her darting off on me and disappearing into the crowd like she had after the first flight. Not when I felt so close to a breakthrough on my crashing issue. It wasn’t sorted yet, I was sure of that much. Deep down though, a certainty grew that more time with Alyssa was going to be the easiest way to find a solution. She was the cause after all. I just needed to pinpoint why.
When we headed into the terminal, I managed to convince her to stop at the duty-free shops for a few supplies. When she said she didn’t want to buy any alcohol, I used both of our quotas to grab some premium grog for my stay. We walked side-by-side as we went through the motions of customs and baggage collections. Our conversation wasn’t exactly awkward, but it was weighted down in ways it had never been when we were kids.
A little less than an hour later, we were free of the bustling Heathrow Airport. We found our way to the taxi ranks and waited in line for our turn. I gave the driver the address of Danny’s apartment in Kensington. Alyssa was silent through it all, but she never stopped chewing her lip. It felt like she had something she wanted to tell me, but wasn’t sure how to start. I decided if it was really important, she would let me know when she was ready. All I hoped was that she wasn’t regretting her choice to agree to spend a few hours in the apartment with me.
On the drive to the address Danny had given me, I grew anxious. I hadn’t asked anything about it really, assuming it was going to be just me for the length of my stay. Well, me and any titbits I brought home to satisfy my urges. Either way, I hadn’t considered needing more than one bed. Panic coursed through me that it would be a tiny studio with only a bed and not much else.
Maybe it was a bachelor pad style apartment filled with all the latest tricks for snaring the ladies. The nearer we got, the keener my anxiety became over inviting Alyssa to stay without having seen the space first. What if it was some sort of semi-brothel sex den? Would she believe it wasn’t mine? Or maybe it would be a shithole with rats and cockroaches breeding on every surface. Truthfully, I couldn’t see Danny owning anything that even remotely matched either of those descriptions and I definitely couldn’t see him giving me the keys if he did. Still, the panic was impossible to shake.
Here goes nothing, I thought as the taxi pulled up in front of the building. The facade of the building gave me some hope that it wouldn’t be a hovel inside. It was so old school it was almost art. I didn’t know one era from another, but it reminded me of my childhood, of hours spent watching Paddington Bear with Alyssa at my side. It was so different to what I was used to—the hustle and bustle of modern Sydney—that I could almost have believed that I’d stepped back in time. I gave the driver my credit card for payment, letting him run it while I unloaded our bags.
My heart pounded in my chest with each step as I led Alyssa to the front door. I tentatively turned the key and took one last deep breath before I pushed open the door. It turned out all my fears were unwarranted. She followed me with her suitcase as I carried our carry-on bags and my own suitcase up a short flight of stairs into the large open-plan living, dining and kitchen area. Although the apartment was long and narrow, the colour choices and furnishings gave it a dramatic feeling of light and space, even in the dark grey of the early morning.
Despite the historic facade, the interior was very modern. It looked decked out with every luxury you’d want on holiday.
The kitchen was an expanse of stainless steel, including a giant island in the middle. Monstrous ovens and equipment filled every cavity. Looking at the array of knobs and dials, I decided I was best leaving them alone. At least the ice maker on the fridge looked easy enough to use. That fact alone meant that I would at least have ice and water for the duration of my stay. Takeout would have to suffice for the rest of my needs. At least nothing would be too different from home there.
Opposite the kitchen, in the only enclosed section of the area, was a staircase which I assumed must lead up to the bedrooms and bathroom.
The dining area led off from the kitchen, to the left of the main living space. A large oak dining table, with pews running down each side for seats, rested in the middle. The colour scheme of the whole apartment seemed to be based on a natural palette, a mix of dark hardwood floors, sea grass carpets, and eggshell walls. In the living area, a chocolate-brown leather sofa and two plush beige linen armchairs clustered around the fireplace. Three large windows behind the sofa gave panoramic views of the cobblestone street below. To the right of the windows was a wood and glass door which appeared to lead out onto a terrace.
Droppin
g the luggage I held, I walked slowly through the open space, absorbing all the little details. On top of the fireplace, flush-mounted and blending almost seamlessly into the wall, was a huge flat-screen TV. An antique roll-top desk sat in one corner of the room; the top was open so I could see there was a desktop computer and phone tucked inside.
The wall behind the armchairs was lined with open bookshelves, filled to bursting with old leather-bound books, lending the space just a touch of the old-world charm that covered the exterior. I ran my fingers along the spines, wondering whether they held some old treasures or were just there for decoration.
“Wow!” Alyssa murmured from the kitchen.
“Yeah,” I replied, turning to look at the area from just in front of the fireplace. Between the money I was on, and the team I belonged to, I was used to a touch of opulence. My own house was a multi-million-dollar McMansion that I’d probably be repaying until the day I retired, but it had nothing on the apartment. With a perfect blend of old-world charm and modern technology, the place took my breath away. Looking at Alyssa as she spun a small circle, no doubt to take in all the details like I had, I figured she thought the same thing. In that moment, it felt like I’d come home at last. Who knew I had to travel halfway around the world to find a place I’d feel so instantly comfortable?
“Whose place is this?” Alyssa asked, running her fingers along the stainless steel of the kitchen island.
“Danny Sinclair’s,” I replied. “He’s the one who made me take this trip.”
“Why?”
“Can’t you guess?” I raised one eyebrow and made the sound of squealing brakes and a car crash.
A small chuckle escaped her; it had an edge to it that I didn’t understand. “Oh, I see. Well, at least he didn’t just fire your arse, I guess.”
“Yeah, well, that’s next if I don’t get my shit sorted.”
“What’s to sort?” she asked, seeming genuinely confused. Her gaze met mine and offered the perfect answer to her question. It was the memory of those eyes that haunted me around the track. I wasn’t about to admit that to her though. How could I tell her that she was the reason my career was in the fucking toilet even though we hadn’t spoken two words to each other in years? Before I’d wound up seated next to her on the flight at least.
There was a softness to her stare that I didn’t want to acknowledge. A compassion almost, which I certainly didn’t need. I couldn’t cope with her looking at me like that. It set me on edge, making me clench my fists even as my cock swelled.
“I don’t fucking know, all right?” My jaw pressed together tightly as I twisted free of her gaze. I leaned against the fireplace mantle. “That’s the hard part. How do you fix something when you don’t know what’s fucking broken?”
She issued an exasperated sigh from behind me. I wasn’t sure what I would see if I turned to look at her, but I was certain it wouldn’t help me.
A minute passed, then two, and neither of us said anything more. I stared steadfastly at my own reflection in the darkened TV and regretted asking her to come back to the apartment. It had seemed like such a good idea on the plane, but I didn’t expect her to launch straight into questions that cut to the crux of my visit. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to discuss those questions with her.
“Um, okay, well.” Alyssa was no doubt trying to break the tension that made the room stifling when she spoke, but her voice sent the image of her eyes and the sound of crunching metal coursing through me again. “I’m going to take a shower and then try to get some sleep. I want to be awake when it’s time to get settled into my hotel.”
I nodded before allowing my gaze to leave my own reflection and focus on hers. With a few deep breaths I was able to purge the emotions that had taken me in their grips. The reminder that she would be leaving in just a few hours made me more inclined to hurry up and work out what the fuck I needed to do to get her out of my mind when I was driving. I could have said something to invite her for a drink and get the process started, but I didn’t feel up to it yet.
“Sure. I’ll try to find you a towel,” I said instead.
I carried Alyssa’s suitcase up the stairs. There were two bedrooms; one had a king-size bed, the other two singles. I put her suitcase on one of the single beds before thinking better of it. She’d always loved her space when sleeping. Even in primary school, she’d slept on a double bed. Whereas I could sleep anywhere, and had when the occasion had called for it. With her in the next bedroom, I doubted I’d get much sleep anyway. My insomnia was bad enough when she was almost one thousand kilometres away, I couldn’t begin to imagine how terrible it would be with her just metres away.
“Would you prefer the king-size?” I asked.
“No, it’s fine. You’re the one staying here for your holiday. You may as well get settled as soon as possible.”
Nodding again, mostly because I couldn’t find adequate words to say anything else at that point, I left to hunt through the cupboards for a towel. I hoped the fact that it was a guest accommodation would mean everything was fairly strategically placed. While I searched, I heard Alyssa start on the water in the bathroom. The door was shut when I passed again, so I didn’t enter. Even though the thought was somewhat tempting—after the glimpses I’d got on the plane, I longed to see all of the changes in her body up close and personal.
When I spotted the open door for what would be her bedroom for the night, I decided I would just leave the towel on the bed for her. It hadn’t taken her long to get somewhat settled in and the contents of her carry-on bag were scattered all over one of the beds. Her suitcase sat next to the mess; open and practically calling out an invitation to snoop. Even though I tried to resist the call, my gaze slid across the contents as I laid the towel on the bed. Everything was mussed up in the suitcase, as if she had been looking for something.
Holy fuck!
At first, I couldn’t believe my eyes, but the longer I looked, the less I could deny what I was seeing. Resting pride of place on top of the messy mountain of clothes was a pink vibrator. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen one of course, but the thought of it being Alyssa’s made my cock hard and my cheeks burn red. I spun to leave the room before she caught me intruding so absolutely on her privacy. In my haste, I hadn’t noticed that the water had stopped in the bathroom or heard the footsteps in the hall, but I collided with Alyssa in the doorway. In her hands, she clutched a shirt I recognised as the one she’d spilt coffee over when we’d been on the plane.
“Hey, I was just rinsing this again . . .” Her voice trailed off as she took in my blush. Her eyes flicked over to her suitcase, and then it was her turn to blush. She walked over to the bed and flicked the lid of her suitcase shut. When I looked over to her, she had her eyes closed and her hand rested on top of the black material of her luggage as if it was trying to burst open again. I could almost hear her silently willing the ground to open up and swallow her whole. Something needed to happen to relieve the tension in the room or it just might kill us both.
“So how long are you over here for?” I asked. My brain chose that exact moment to see the hilarity in the situation, so my voice was infused with laughter.
She covered her face with her hands and groaned into them. When she pulled them away though, it looked like she had a small smirk on her face. “A week.”
“Wow, only a week?”
She turned to me. She was definitely smirking now. “I’m a woman, Declan. I do have needs.”
It was clear that I’d been right when I’d assumed she must have grown into an absolute sex goddess. “Needs that must be met regularly, I see.”
“Well, it’s not like I get loads of external offers like you.”
I cast an appraising eye over her body and moved closer to her. “I find it hard to believe you wouldn’t get all the opportunities you wanted.”
Her smile fell a little in response. “You’d be surprised. Besides, I’ve found it easier to make my own opportunities. That way I don’t have
the messy complications after the fact.”
“What complications?” I asked, lifting one shoulder up in a half shrug. I was so close to her now, I could reach out and touch her—so I did. My fingers brushed the hair off the back of her neck so that it fell over one shoulder. A slight shudder raced across her skin at our contact. “If you really want it, there’s always someone willing to give you a bit of wham, bam, thank you ma’am without the strings.” I whispered the last words against her neck, my lips practically ghosting her skin. If I was any closer, she would have felt my erection poking into her back.
I ran my words over in my head again after they were out. Had I really told her she should go and screw a random stranger?
She moved away from me, climbing onto the bed to escape. When she looked back at me, there was sorrow in her gaze. “There’s always strings.”
I shrugged. “Not in my experience.”
Which was plenty enough.
She narrowed her eyes at me, and then she swallowed hard. “Maybe.” She moved to the side to get around me, a change of clothes and the towel I’d brought in held tightly in her arms—almost as a shield. She danced just outside of my arm’s length and as she moved, kept her front to me the whole way. “I guess I’ve never investigated it that thoroughly. I’ve always been too busy with uni and Ph—stuff.”
She only turned when she reached the door. I took that as an indication that she was ready for the conversation to be over. I wasn’t sure that I was, but I wasn’t exactly sure about anything since I’d realised I’d be sitting next to her on the plane. Following her out, I wondered what the hell was going on with my head. If he wasn’t such a quack, I would have almost considered calling Dr. Henrikson, my former psychiatrist, to figure it out.
“I’ll, um, I’ll be downstairs if you need me,” I said as she retreated to the bathroom. I leaned against the wall and watched her fight with the bathroom door with her arms full.
Declan Reede: The Untold Story (Complete Series) Page 21
