Dropping into my office chair, I buried my head in my hands. “What am I going to do, Lys? Racing’s the only thing I know.”
Even as the words came out, it struck me that it was an opening for a great big fucking I told you so if she was so inclined. If I’d gone to uni like she’d wanted me to, if I’d had a backup plan of any sort, I wouldn’t be completely screwed. But I might not have ever had the chance to race either.
Instead of an I told you so though, she reached over and grabbed my hand in hers. “It’s okay,” she said. “We’ll work something out. There are other teams. Maybe there’s a way to get you onto one of them.”
I stood and paced away from her. “Why would they take me though? It’d be a PR nightmare for them.” I didn’t add the bigger concern, that most other teams would mean moving away from Sydney. Neither did I admit that I wasn’t sure whether I even wanted to race for anyone but Sinclair. They’d been my home for almost four years, and I knew what to expect. I knew the cars, the crew, and the inner workings. A new team would be an unknown entity.
“Not necessarily. People have been through worse scandals and come out with their careers intact.”
“How?”
“It’s all about how you handle the next few weeks.”
I moved back to her side. “Okay. So what do you suggest?”
Even as the words left me, a sense of relief flowed over me that she was in my corner and fighting for me. I was certain if I had to face it alone, I’d have cracked and be somewhere at the bottom of a vodka bottle by now.
“I think we need to present a united front. Both of us in front of the media to prove there’s no scandal.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not dragging you through the mud just to find a fucking job.”
She rested her head on my shoulder and linked her fingers with mine. “You did read the article, didn’t you? I’ve been dragged. This is about showing all of those people who tried to hurt us that we’re stronger than that.”
Her words meant more to me than I could ever express. “God, I love you, Lys. I—I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I kissed the top of her head. “Are you sure you’re ready for this though?”
“No. But I’m ready for us, and that’s enough for now.”
What she didn’t say was as clear as what she did. It was make or break time for my life. I had to stand up and be ready to claim what I wanted as soon as the opportunity arose, or I would risk missing out. She’d proven her faith in me, that I had her trust, and now I just had to keep it.
No more fuck-ups.
Not long after, Phoebe woke up in tears, sobbing because she’d woken alone and hadn’t recognised her surroundings. Alyssa had raced to her side before bringing her down to the kitchen for some breakfast.
Guilt wracked me that I couldn’t provide an environment to make my own fucking daughter feel safe. Feeling the familiar spiral of panic sinking into my stomach, I closed my eyes and took two deep breaths. Alyssa clearly picked up on my mood because she came up to me and grabbed my hand in hers. As it always seemed to, her touch instantly tugged me back from the edge.
“It’ll take some time for her to settle in.”
“Are you sure that’s all it is? I want everything to be okay for her.”
“Just wait until we’ve moved in properly, and all of our stuff is here. It’ll make it easier.”
“Really?” It was hard not to be insecure when it came to Phoebe’s happiness. Or Alyssa’s.
“She’ll be drawing on the walls and running around like she owns the place before long.”
“Drawing on the walls?” I swallowed down the swear words that rose to the tip of my tongue. I may have been happy to have her paint her room whatever fucking colour she wanted, but that was worlds away from vandalising the goddamned walls.
Alyssa leaned back and grinned at me. “Dec, she’s three. It’s inevitable.”
“So what are you saying? That I should just let her get away with it?”
Alyssa’s grin morphed into laughter. “No. She’s three; she still needs discipline. I’m just trying to get you to understand the level of crazy that comes with having a live-in toddler.”
Even as she said the words, Phoebe saw the two of us in an embrace and rushed to our side, once again mashing her face between our legs.
“There are benefits though,” I said.
Alyssa just laughed.
“What?”
“Toddler. Remember?”
Wondering what the hell Alyssa was talking about, I glanced down. Fucking hell. Running from just behind my knee around to my shin was a huge smear of vegemite, butter, and crumbs from Phoebe’s hands.
Alyssa picked Phoebe up to rest on her hip. “Are you finished with your breakfast?”
Phoebe nodded as she sucked on one of her vegemite-coated hands. Did any of it stay on the fucking toast?
“Do you mind getting the dishes while I do this?”
I flashed her a smile. “I’m sure I can manage that.”
What I hadn’t realised was that doing the dishes included wiping down the entire fucking table because somehow Phoebe had got vegemite over at least a third of it.
Fuck, kids were messy.
Messy, but worth it.
I SPENT the better part of my day with my girls, mostly running around the backyard and trying to push everything out of my mind. A little after five, Eden came to visit with a copy of a press release from Sinclair Racing. We set Phoebe up with a Wiggles DVD and sat at the dining table to chat.
With an apology on her lips, Eden passed the soon-to-be-issued document to me. The release announced my termination from the team. My heart shattered as I read the words ready to go to all major press agencies in the country. My termination in black and white. The devastation that swept through me made one thing clear: at least a part of me had been hoping for a last-minute reprieve. For Danny to call and say he’d made a mistake and had reconsidered.
It wasn’t going to happen though. The release made that much clear, especially considering the second piece of information it contained.
I screwed my eyes shut to block out the words. My hand holding the offending paper dropped to the table so that I wouldn’t reread the words printed on it over and over. A sigh that carried the last of my hope for another chance at my dream left my lips as I leaned my weight against the table and dropped my head.
“What is it, Dec?” Alyssa asked.
“He—he’s already replaced me. He has a new driver starting in the new season.”
“So soon? How? With who?”
I couldn’t even form the words. How could Danny recruit the biggest lunatic on the track? Morgan and I could both be a little reckless, but neither of us took our personal vendettas onto the track. Not like—
“Hunter Blake,” Eden answered when she saw I wasn’t able to.
“Is he a good driver?” Alyssa asked.
“Does it fucking matter?” I shouted. “He’s not me, is he? He’s taking my fucking spot on the team!”
“He’s with Wood Racing,” Eden explained to Alyssa.
I pinched the bridge of my nose, wanting to block out the nightmare. Not only had I been replaced in a matter of days, it’d been by a psycho.
After a few deep breaths, I finally felt calm enough to join the conversation again.
“How did it happen so fast?” Alyssa asked. “Wouldn’t he have been under contract?”
“Apparently Danny paid out the remaining years,” Eden said. “Cost a small fortune. I don’t understand it. It’s not like he’s the best driver out there. Top ten maybe, but his driving style doesn’t really fit with Sinclair’s strategy.”
It was Eden’s polite way of saying the dick was a lunatic on the track who was overly aggressive and often refused to listen to team instructions—usually to his own peril.
She didn’t even know the worst of it. His behaviour was even worse off the tra
ck. There were things I’d learned about him that no one at Sinclair knew or would probably suspect. If Danny had known even a fraction of them, he’d never have signed up the bastard. He’d definitely never have paid extra for the fuckstick.
Now, it was too late for me to say anything. No one would accept my story as the truth. They’d assume it was just sour grapes on my part. I doubted even Eden would believe me if I told her how despicable he truly was.
All I could do was remind myself that it wasn’t anything to do with me. Not anymore. I wasn’t with Sinclair and any choices Danny made didn’t affect me. Even if they did make me feel like I had a thousand eels churning in my gut.
My focus had to be my family, and trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do with the rest of my life. One thing still bugged me though.
Why Hunter? Why now?
“An eye for an eye,” I murmured as the reason became apparent to me.
Both Alyssa’s and Eden’s heads whipped around to me. They’d continued the conversation, but my words had silenced them in an instant.
“What?” Alyssa’s voice prompted me to continue.
“It’s Danny’s version of an eye for an eye. Paige was trying to recruit one of his drivers—”
“So he recruited one of hers,” Eden finished my sentence.
“Exactly.” My voice lacked enthusiasm. Numbness had replaced the anger. “The question would be why Hunter would go from being number one at Wood team to playing second fiddle to Morg.”
“You,” Eden said. “It’s because of you.”
“What?”
“As if you don’t know,” Eden snapped. I felt like we were coming to the reason she’d come in person to deliver the press release. “I’d heard rumours, but I’d never believed that you . . . That you could . . .” Her expression twisted into something I’d never seen on her features before. I couldn’t pin it down exactly. It wasn’t anger, neither was it disappointment, but it seemed to be a bitter cousin of both.
“That I could what, Edie? What do you think it is I’ve done?”
“You were in talks with her, weren’t you? This whole time, I’ve been sticking up for you and you’ve been planning on leaving the team as soon as you could. That’s why Danny wouldn’t listen to me. He’s got other evidence about you and Paige.”
I stood and paced away from the table. It was clear gossip had spread around the ranks of Sinclair long before the magazine came out. No wonder Danny was so fucking quick to believe it. My heart pounded in my throat. “It’s not what you think.”
“So she wasn’t trying to recruit you?”
“No. I mean, yes, I mean, fuck.” Maybe I should have told everyone at Sinclair sooner that Paige had made plenty of noise about wanting me to join her team. Maybe I should have made it crystal fucking clear that I’d turned her down every time. Maybe then Danny would’ve had less reason to doubt my loyalty when the article crossed his desk. My focus was on Eden as I looped back around with my hands trailing through my hair. With my gaze locked with hers, I admitted the truth. “She approached me, okay?”
Eden gave me her best bitch brow.
“A few times, actually. But each time, I told her the same thing.”
“And that is?”
“That I’m Sinclair through and through, and always have been—even before Danny recruited me. That, well, that he gave me a shot at my dream, and I’ve never regretted saying yes.”
In my periphery, I saw Alyssa’s smile fall. Her brows pinched together slightly in pain, and the reason was immediately clear. Fuck! Would my big fucking mouth ever stop causing trouble? By trying to dodge one bullet, I’d stepped right into the path of another.
Without pausing, I strode straight to her and drew her into my arms. “I regret the way I handled some things,” I murmured against her hair before looking back to Eden, “but I’ve never regretted the choice. Maybe I should’ve said something earlier, but Wood’s offers just meant that little to me.”
Eden assessed me for a moment, and then a smile took over her frown. She crossed to me and gave my shoulder a playful punch. “I knew it. Or at least I didn’t think you’d be able to keep it from me if you were thinking about jumping ship. I can usually read you like a book.”
“Why would I jump ship on the best fucking job I’ve ever had?” It might have been the only real job I’d had, but that was beside the fucking point. “But that still doesn’t explain why Hunter left Wood.”
“All I know is he’s been running his mouth off around the track in Bahrain. Something about him not wanting to waste time with a team that’d put in so much effort to recruit a cockhead.”
“Some fucking recruitment campaign,” I said. “She’s trying to ruin my fucking life.”
Eden tilted her head in question.
“The magazine,” Alyssa said. “We think she was behind the article.”
“I don’t think . . .” Eden trailed off. “I mean why would . . .” She hummed in thought. “Okay, maybe, but how?”
“That’s the mystery. But just think about it. Who stood to benefit the most from my contract being cancelled by Sinclair?”
“Why not wait though? Twelve months and your contract would have been up.”
“Because I think she knows as well as anyone that I would’ve renewed with Sinclair if I’d been offered a place.”
“But if that was the case, she’d have to know what’s happened by now. Surely if she’d been trying to get you on her team, she’d have offered you a pos—” Eden cut off, no doubt seeing something in my expression. “Oh. She already has, hasn’t she?”
“She rang this morning,” Alyssa confirmed.
Eden’s mouth twisted in distaste. “So she’s won then? You’ll be back on the track next year with her?”
“Fuck no.”
Her eyes flared. “What?”
“What do you take me for, Edie? I’m not going to race for someone who’s willing to pull those tricks to get me on her fucking team.”
“But it might be your one chance to race again.”
Lifting one shoulder, I gave a half-hearted shrug. “So? It’s not worth it.”
“Don’t be noble if it costs you everything.”
“I’m not being noble. I’m just not racing for a bitch. Especially if it means moving north while my family moves south.”
“You know the worst part of it all?” Eden asked. “Hunter has been given the new car.”
With everything happening, the news didn’t really surprise me. Morgan had already confirmed he’d be running his car again because he was happy with the set-up. “Well, that was the one that was supposed to be mine, I guess.”
“He’s an arrogant arse!” Eden exclaimed. “He doesn’t belong on our team.”
The statement almost drew a grin from me, but only because there was a time she would have said the same thing about Morgan, and about me. My smile fell again because in Hunter’s case, she was right.
“Apparently, he’s done nothing but brag about everything he thinks he did at Wood Racing. If I was to believe everything he’s told Morgan, he single-handedly built that team from the ground up.”
“I don’t know what to say, Edie. I think you’re right. But I also think Hunter is dangerous. Just be careful around him, won’t you?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be okay. I think I know a thing or two about how to handle jerk drivers.” A half-smile lit her face when I raised my brow at her.
Phoebe came darting up to the table and the conversation stalled. “Wiggles gone,” she said, pointing toward the TV where the DVD had reset to the start menu.
I’d seen her restart the DVD from there before—heck, the day I’d spent alone with her at Alyssa’s house, she’d completely kicked off the DVD on her own—so I figured that she must have wanted to join in the conversation rather than actually being concerned about the DVD stopping.
“I think that means it’s time to put this conversation to bed,” Alyssa said, obviously un
derstanding Phoebe’s mood as well as I had—or more likely even better. “Unless there’s anything else?”
Eden shook her head. “Only that the release is going out tomorrow morning.”
“Shit.”
Alyssa elbowed me in the ribs, clearly less tolerant of the swearing now that little ears were around and listening. When she caught the bruising that, although faded, still covered a good portion of my ribs, I winced. She gave me an apologetic look, but indicated Phoebe with her eyes—her silent way to tell me to lay off the fucking cuss words.
“Sorry,” I said, rubbing the pain of Alyssa’s wayward elbow away. “I was just hoping for a little more time before the vultures descend.”
“They’re already circling, Dec,” Eden said. “At least this way it’ll all be over at once.”
It didn’t even sound like her words had convinced her, but I nodded anyway to end the conversation.
“Would you like to stay for dinner, Eden?” Alyssa asked.
“As unique as a home-cooked meal in Declan Reede’s house would be, I have to decline. Morgan’s supposed to be calling me from Bahrain when he breaks for lunch. I don’t want to miss the call. I just wanted to make sure you knew what was coming. I didn’t think it was fair for it to be sprung on you without warning.”
“Thanks, Edie. I appreciate it.”
As I saw Eden out, she hugged me tightly. “Is Alyssa here for good?”
“No, just until Wednesday.”
Eden’s mouth mashed into an unhappy line.
“Why?”
“I’m leaving for Bahrain in the morning and I won’t be back for a little over a week.”
“So?”
“So, I don’t think it’s a great idea for you to be alone right now.”
I scoffed at her insinuation. “I’m hardly going to top myself.”
The look in her eye told me she didn’t believe I could cope alone for a few fucking days. “I’ll have my phone on roaming. If you need anything—and I mean anything—call me whenever. Any time. Day or night.”
“Yeah, sure, Edie.” I was done with the conversation. I’d managed without Alyssa before, I’d be able to do it again. Especially when it was only a temporary thing.
Declan Reede: The Untold Story (Complete Series) Page 77
