by Tina Beckett
Within five minutes they were on their way in his car, her blanket folded on the backseat. He was glad she’d agreed to come, the tiredness of mind and body dissipating almost immediately and warm anticipation taking its place. As hot and humid as it was in the summer and early fall, September was the beginning of a modicum of relief from the constant heat. And right now, with the sun starting to descend, the weather was comfortably balmy, if not cool.
Finding a place to park proved to be a bit of a challenge, since they’d arrived after things had already started. The plaintive sound of a saxophone reached them, even through the closed windows of his Jaguar, the one real luxury item he’d allowed himself.
Pulling the blanket from Lindy’s more sensible car had made something inside him warm. He had imagined her and Daisy having conversations as they drove to the store or to Rachel and Harold’s place. It had set up an ache in him that he’d tried to banish but he hadn’t been entirely successful. He’d pushed it back, but it was there hovering in the background, waiting for another opportunity to make itself known. It actually would have been nice to bring Daisy out here, the three of them sitting together.
The ache took a step forward, but Zeke clenched his jaw and it retreated once again.
There! Someone was pulling out of a spot. Just in time. He slid into the space and shut the car off.
“This is great. Thanks for thinking of it. I wasn’t looking forward to going home to an empty house but didn’t want to admit that to my mom when she suggested she keep Daisy for the night.”
“That makes two of us. The thought of sitting at home staring at the walls didn’t appeal to me either. So we’ll enjoy some good music and even better company.”
They got out of the car and he retrieved the blanket. Lindy’s light floral scent clung to the fabric. Folding it over his arm set the scent free, and he breathed deeply. He almost said the words “Next time...” but somehow called them back before they left his throat.
Why would there be a next time? He might have coffee with her periodically after a shared surgery, but he wouldn’t be sitting in the office of the women’s center week after week. He didn’t have time to, first and foremost, and secondly he was pretty sure that Lindy would find it odd if he somehow managed to appear each and every time she volunteered. So he’d better take advantage of tonight and enjoy himself. Because he wasn’t sure when he would get the chance to do something like this again.
They wove their way between people, and Zeke glanced at the stage periodically. The saxophone was still playing, the light notes spiraling from the stage to their intended target, his ears absorbing the sound.
There they went...those muscles in his neck. They were starting to soften and relax, and his headache began to ease.
“How’s this?” He’d found a spot big enough to toss open the blanket without hitting anyone and where they wouldn’t feel like they were sitting on top of those surrounding them.
“Perfect.”
Zeke shook it open and spread it on the ground, waiting while she kicked off her shoes and eased her way down, knees bent, arms wrapped around them. She arched her neck way back, while tilting her head to the right and left as if she had a few kinks of her own to get rid of. Her dark hair touched the blanket behind her, sliding back and forth as she continued to work at it.
“Sore?”
“A little. I’m not sure why.”
Maybe the music had lulled him into a false sense of security, because when her hand went to her nape, as if trying to tackle the ache on her own, he couldn’t resist.
“Here, let me.” He toed off his loafers and sat beside her, one hand sliding under her hair and massaging the muscles he found there with firm strokes.
“Mmm, that feels good, thanks.”
Focusing on the stage, he let the music wash over him as he kept ministering to her nape and the sides of her neck, his thumb gliding up and down her soft skin.
When he glanced over at her, her eyes were closed, but she wasn’t sleeping. What he hoped she was doing was enjoying the feel of his fingers pressing deep into her tight muscles and loosening them up, one section at a time. What he was doing probably wasn’t obvious to anyone around them and even if it was, it wasn’t any different from what any man might do for someone he loved.
Only he didn’t love her. He needed to remember that. So what were his feelings toward her?
Hell if he knew. But one thing was for sure. The feelings weren’t platonic. No matter how many times he might lecture himself or how many examples of friendship he might hold up, he knew there had to be a third option. Something he hadn’t quite reached or achieved. Some deep transcendental realm that he needed to find.
As if reading his mind, she took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh before leaning to the side slightly. “Thanks. I’m good.” She stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned back on her elbows. The polish on her toes had changed. The glittery silver had been replaced by some kind of opalescent purple that seemed to shift colors each time she moved her feet, which she was now doing, one foot moving sideways, keeping time with the beat.
“More wild and crazy?”
She glanced at him and then looked at her feet and laughed. “Oh, yes. Everyone should have at least one wild and crazy side.”
He’d been the recipient of another wild and crazy side, then shut that line of thought down. They were here for the music and nothing else.
Planting his hands on the blanket behind him, he forced himself to settle and relax as the quick notes continued to dance around them. Low conversations were taking place as dusk enfolded them in shadows, and as he looked, he saw all types of people, some on lawn chairs, some on blankets like they were, and some simply sitting on the grassy expanse. But one thing they all had in common was a love of a way of life that was both old and new. Savannah had a charm that he hadn’t found in many other places.
And Lindy fit right into that charm. Being away from her hometown hadn’t killed it, although there was a solemnity to that wild and crazy side that had probably come from what she’d endured.
As it had a couple of times before, anger rolled up his gut. How could any man do such damage to someone he was supposed to love? And worse, not care whether or not his child was around while it was happening. Thank God, Daisy had been an infant at the time. He could not imagine his daughter seeing such an ugly side of human nature, and Zeke had a hard time understanding what could generate so much rage that someone would lash out at another person.
He wouldn’t. And most people he knew wouldn’t, although he did know that abusers could come across as great people when you met them on the street or worked with them. It was only those at home who saw the truth.
That was the dangerous side to compartmentalizing, the very thing he’d told himself he needed to do in regard to the night he and Lindy had spent together. But making love hadn’t hurt anyone. Except maybe his “want to,” which he now kept locked up. And that guy needed to stay there. At least when Lindy was around.
So he settled in to enjoy this side of being with her. And actually he had probably seen Lindy in more settings than he had any other woman at the hospital. He’d seen worried Lindy, competent Lindy, concerned Lindy...and sexy-as-hell Lindy. And those facets were all rolled into one fascinating woman. It was no wonder he wanted her.
And she’d wanted him. At least she had for one night.
“He’s so good.” A soft voice came from beside him and he tensed at first, confused as to what she was saying, then he realized she was referring to the musician.
What had he thought? That she was muttering something about him under her breath? Not very likely.
“Yes, he is. I don’t think I’ve heard him before but, like I said, it’s been years since I’ve been to one of the festivals. He might have been in diapers the last time I came.”
She gave a
light laugh. “You’re not quite that ancient. If he was in diapers, then you probably were too. He can’t be any older than thirty-five or -six.”
“How did you guess my age?”
“You have that look about you.”
That made him frown. “What kind of look is that?” It didn’t sound exactly flattering to hear her say that.
“That crinkling around your eyes from laughter.”
“So I have wrinkles, do I?”
“Not wrinkles. Crinkles. There’s a big difference.”
He suddenly found himself wanting to know exactly what that difference was. “Explain it to me.”
“Wrinkles are caused by worry or stress. Crinkles are caused by happiness.”
They were? He didn’t normally feel happy. But maybe she saw a side to him that he’d missed. His job made him happy. Could that actually express itself in the way lines were woven into the fabric of someone’s skin? Maybe.
“You have crinkles too.”
“I do? Where?”
He leaned over and touched a finger to the bridge of her nose and let it slide down the side nearest him. “Here. When you smile, the skin here crinkles. I remember the first time I saw them.”
“Really?”
“Yes. You were in the operating room and you had your surgical mask on. I could tell whether or not you were smiling by the lines—or lack thereof—on either side of your nose. It was damned attractive.”
“Wow. I didn’t know. And I certainly can’t imagine that looking good. To anyone.”
“Well, it does.” He had no idea why he was admitting any of this, except that she’d brought up the subject by explaining what she thought so-called crinkles represented. He liked her thinking of him as being happy. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had said that of him, even his mom, who was carrying some long-term grief herself over the death of her husband of thirty-four years. Marina and his dad had died within a few years of each other. He guessed it really was true. Grief had no expiration date.
Or maybe it could have. If he let it.
What exactly was the problem with him and Lindy being together? He’d made it into such a big thing in his head, but maybe it wasn’t. As long as she didn’t want promises of forever—which she’d never even implied she did—and probably didn’t honestly, after what she’d been through. But maybe being with her had caused some of his wrinkles to make the shift into crinkles.
Or maybe he’d been generating them all along. But suddenly he thought that coming to the concert was the stupidest idea he could have come up with. Why hadn’t he just taken her back to his place and done what he really wanted to do?
Was it because of the whole “bad idea” thing? Or was it because he’d thought she might reject him? Maybe it was a little of both, but he was about to test one of those theories. Whether the other was tested or not depended on her response.
“Lind, how interested are you in staying for the entire concert?”
That got her attention. Her eyes met his and she seemed to look at him forever, although it was probably only a few seconds. Then she smiled...and there they were: crinkles. On either side of her nose. “I think I could be talked into slipping out a little early.”
He leaned over the blanket and gave her a gentle kiss. It was the only way he could think of to make his intentions known. And when she curled her fingers around his neck and held him there for a second, he had his answer. He stood, reaching a hand down to help her up and then whipping the blanket back over his arm. There were some looks of confusion from those around them, but a couple of other folks knew exactly what was going on. After all, jazz’s smooth, silky notes made it the perfect intro for what was on his mind. From the moment he’d suggested coming here, things had been moving in this direction, only he’d been too stupid—or maybe too smart—to admit it to himself.
And now he didn’t care.
He tossed the blanket into the back of his car. The second they were in the car his lips were on hers and it was all he could do to pull away from her and put the car in gear. He didn’t want to take the time to go all the way back home, wanted to do it right here in this car. But it was very probable they’d be arrested before they got to the best stuff. And that was definitely not the stuff crinkles were made of. So he added gas and eased off the clutch and headed back the way they’d come.
His apartment was on the far side of town and it took them almost a half-hour to get there. The whole time Lindy’s palm had been splayed across his right thigh, and with each shift of gears, each time his foot came off the gas pedal, it seemed to slip a little bit higher. He wasn’t quite sure if he was causing it or if she was purposely moving her hand. Whatever it was, he was hot and hard and was having a godawful time concentrating on the road in front of him.
But he’d better, or they were going to crash into one of the posts along the highway, and if he survived, he’d have to explain to law enforcement exactly why he’d been driving while distracted. He didn’t think Lindy’s parents would approve of him putting their daughter in the hospital. So although it took a monumental effort, he glanced over at her. “You go much higher with that hand and I’m going to have to pull off the road and find a bank of trees to hide away in.”
“Would that be so bad?”
“No.” He laughed. “Not bad at all, but I’d rather have you in bed, where I can do anything I want to you.”
Her hand edged higher. “Does that mean I can do anything I want to you too?”
“Yes, baby, you can do absolutely anything your heart desires.”
And there went that hand yet again. He gritted his teeth and prayed for mercy.
* * *
They hit what must have been Zeke’s apartment door with a rattle of keys and her back pressed against the solid surface as he kissed her again and again. She never would have believed she could be so turned on by a car ride where they’d barely touched, but anything and everything had been implied, even without saying it outright.
His pelvis pressed into her in the deserted corridor as he tried to fit his key into the lock beside her. She laughed and slid sideways to let him have better access.
To the lock. And to certain regions of her body that were hoping to get a little satisfaction. The door swung open without warning and she careened backward, only just barely missing falling by him grabbing hold of her wrist. That didn’t stop her from knocking over a bookshelf that was next to the door. Papers and framed awards sprayed in every direction. She gave a horrified murmur and turned to clean up the mess.
“Leave it.” He was still holding her hand, coming up behind her and turning her to face him. “They’re just things, Lind. Nothing to worry about.”
God. She wanted this man. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she went up on tiptoe. “In that case, we’re either going to spend some time on the long leather sofa that I see on my right or you’re going to take me to your bedroom and show me exactly what you meant earlier when you said I could do anything I wanted.”
He bit her lip. “Did I say anything? That term might have been a little too sweeping.”
“Uh-uh. No give-backs.”
“Maybe you’d better tell me what you have in mind, then.”
He leaned his head down and in a sudden boost of confidence she whispered the naughtiest thing she could think of in his ear. The thing she’d thought about last time as he’d rolled his condom over his length.
His answering laugh was rough-edged with what sounded like disbelief. “I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen. I don’t intend this to be a party of one.”
“But you promised...” Talking like this, freely, without shame, was the biggest turn-on of all. She couldn’t wait to get this man in bed and feel him in her, over her. Once had definitely not been enough. Especially since there was some kind of raw emotion twisting its way out of her. Somethin
g that made her look at him—at everything that made Zeke who he was. And it was just...
God. Oh, God! She loved him.
Loved him. Loved his laugh. Loved his crinkles. Loved his wrinkles, even. Loved the way he made her feel.
How was this even possible? She didn’t know, but she gloried in realizing it was possible to feel something profound. Something that felt sacred and good. And whether it worked out or not, she owed Zeke a debt of gratitude, and she intended to start paying it now.
She didn’t have to wait for the bedroom. The party could start right here. Right now. With hurried hands, she reached for his belt and undid it, and the button of his slacks, then his zipper. She was wild for him, wanted him to take her now, as all the foreplay she’d needed had happened on the way over here: in the car, in the elevator, at his front door.
Then she had him out, his hard length in her hands, glorying in the heat coming off his skin, in the hiss of his breath as she tightened her fingers around him and pumped.
“God, Lindy.” He cupped her face. “What are you doing to me?”
“If you won’t do it, someone has to.” She stretched up and bit his lip. Hard, letting him know she was not afraid of rough, because she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. Not really.
She let go of him long enough to push her own slacks down her hips, her undergarments following quickly. She needed him. Right now. They could slow it down later.
Zeke got the idea and eased her down to the floor, making short work of finding a condom and sheathing himself. But this time, instead of thrusting into her, he rolled over so that she was on top, the way they’d ended the last time. Only this time they were just beginning. Just getting started.
She lowered herself onto him, that luscious sense of fullness so very perfect. Just like him. He took hold of her hips, but instead of guiding her, he let her set the rhythm, simply gripping her as she took him all the way in and then lifted off him.
Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the sensations that were washing over her and slowly building. She picked up the pace, vaguely hearing him mutter something under his breath. Whatever it was, it sounded like he approved. Her world was spinning in on itself, becoming denser and more compressed the faster it whirled. Her hands went to his shoulders, using his body as leverage as she rose up and came down again and again, the feeling of power it gave her heady. Her movements sped up as she got closer and closer to the zenith, a searing heat growing in her belly. And then it hit. Hard and long, her brain losing its ability to process for a second or two. Zeke shouted beneath her as he followed her into oblivion.
