He drank, thirstily. Roh knelt and took the cup back when he was finished, tossed it aside into the straw, then dipped a cloth into the pan of cold water and began, very gently, to wash the dirt from his wounds, starting with his face. "I will tell you how it is," Roh said. "At the first is utter shock . .. and then a few days that are like a dream. You areboth. And then part of the dream begins to fade, and you know that it was once there, but you cannot recall it in daylight. I was Liell once. Now I am Chya Roh. I think that I like this shape well. But then I probably liked the other. And the others before that. I am Roh now. Everything that he is, all that he remembers-all that he loves or hates. All, in short-that he is or ever was-I contain."
"Except his soul."
A touch of irritation came over Roh's face. "I would not know about that."
"Roh would have."
Roh's hands resumed the gentle ministering they had for an instant ceased, and he shook his head. "Cousin-sometimes-there is a perverseness in me that I cannot help. I would not harm you, but do not prick at me. Do not. I do not like it when I have done such a thing."
"Oh Heaven, I pity you."
The cloth found a raw spot and he winced. "Do you prick at me," Roh repeated between his teeth. The touch gentled again. "You do not know what trouble you have caused me .. . this whole camp. You know the marshlanders are across that barricade trying to figure how to get their hands on you."
He gazed at Roh, distantly.
"Wake up," Roh insisted. "They have put too much of that into you. What did you tell them?"
He shook his head, confused. For a time he truly did not remember. Roh seized his shoulder and forced his attention.
"What, confound you? Will you have them to know and not me? Think it through."
"They asked-asked me to tell what I knew of the Gates. They are tired of relying on you. They said-that because the Men in this camp want to kill me, they would have more hold on me than on you… that was Shien's thought… or someone's… I cannot remember. But Hetharu… meant to have what I know-and not to tell you until a time suited him-"
"What you know. And what do you know of Gates. Has she given you knowledge enough to be dangerous?"
He thought over the hazard of truth with Roh. Nothing would focus.
"Have you such knowledge?'' Roh asked.
"Yes."
"And what did you tell them?"
"Nothing. I told them nothing. You came."
"I heard that they had brought you in. I guessed as much as you have told me."
'They will cut your throat when they can."
Roh laughed. "Aye, that they will. And yours, sooner, without my protection. What do you know that you did nottell them?"
Panic flashed through him, muddled with the akil.He shook his head desperately, not trusting to speak.
"I will tell you what I suspect," Roh said. "That Morgaine has had help staying out of sight. She has been in a certain village; I have learned that much: Hetharu knows it too. Men live here, elusive as they are, and there are others too, are there not?"
He said nothing.
'There are. I know that. And I think that there are qhal-are there not, cousin? And you have friends. Perhaps that is who rode off with her, when she fled. Allies. Native allies. And she thought to go to the high place and seize control of the Gate and destroy me. Well, is that not her purpose? It is the only sane course for her. But I am less worried about what Morgaine will and will not, in the state she must be in now, than I am worried for who has his hands on that weapon of hers. A qhaland a Man are with her. So Fwar reports. And who are they, and what would either of them do with such a weapon as that sword in his hands?"
The thoughts tumbled chaotically about him: Merir,he thought. Merir would use it well.But then he doubted, and recalled that he and Morgaine held purposes at odds with the arrhendim.
"Fwar brought me something," Roh said. "Oh, he did not want to give it, but Fwar has a great respect for my anger, and he most readily gave it up for his health's sake." He drew from his belt a silver circlet on a chain… Merir's gift. "You wore this. I find it very strange workmanship, nothing like home, nor even like Shiuan. See, it is written over with qhalurrunes. Friendshipis the inscription. Whose friend are you, Nhi Vanye?"
He shook his head and his eyes hazed. He was exhausted. Of a sudden the fear that had stayed remote began to trouble him, nearer and nearer, stalking him.
"Hardly honorable… to worry at you when you are full of that foul stuff-is it? You are easy as a new-written page. Well, I shall not, any more. But I do tell you this that you may think on when you are sober again… that what I have asked of you I have not asked with purpose to harm you. And you must stay awake, Vanye. Come, keep your eyes clear. Look at me with sense."
He tried. Roh hit him, enough to sting, but not with malice. "Stay awake. I will make you angry with me if that is what it takes. Your eyes are still hazed with that drug, and until that goes, you will stay awake, whatever I have to do to keep you that way. I have seen men die of it in this camp. They sleep to death. And I want you alive."
"Why?"
"Because I have put my neck on the block for you tonight and I want reward of it."
"What do you want?"
Roh laughed. "Your company, cousin."
"I warned you-warned you that you would not find your companions grateful when you joined them. You are a Man, and they hate you for it."
"Am I?" Roh laughed again. "You admit it then, that I am your cousin."
"A qhal…" -told me,he almost said, what it was like for you.But he was not quite hazed enough to let it slip, and stopped himself in time. Roh looked at him strangely, and then shrugged and let it pass, beginning again to wash at his injuries. Roh's touch hurt, and he winced: Roh swore softly.
"I cannot help it," Roh said. "Thank Fwar for this. I am as careful as I can be. Be glad of the akilfor a while."
Roh was indeed careful, and skilled; he cleaned the wounds and dressed them with hot oil, and tended those that were fevered. He put hot compresses on the knee, changing them often. In time Vanye let his head fall. Roh disturbed him to look at his eyes, and finally let him sleep, rousing him only when he changed the compresses. It was far into the night, Vanye judged at one of these wakings, and yet Roh disturbed him again, putting heat on the knee. "Roh?" he asked, perplexed by this.
"I would not have you lame."
"Someone else might see to it."
"Who? Fwar? I am scant of servants in this grand hall. Go to sleep, cousin."
He did so, a quiet sleep, for the first time since Carrhend. This last and better effect the akilleft on him, that its passing exhausted him and he was able to rest.
Chapter Nine
Roh roused him again with daylight flooding through the door and hazing tlirough the smoke from the opening overhead. There was food; Vanye bestirred himself and took it, bread and salted fish and a little of Shiuan's sourish drink– for the first time in days, enough to eat, poor though it was and foul with the memory of Shiuan.
His jaw hurt in eating, and there was little of him elsewhere that was not bruised or wounded. But the knee had freedom of movement this morning, and the pain there, which had become so constant he had ceased even to realize it, had somewhat abated. He did not dress again, but sat with a length of cloth wrapped about him, and Roh saw to it that the hot compress stayed on the knee even at breakfast, a bit of rag constantly aboil in a pot on the fire, one and then the other.
"Thank you," Vanye said in sum of everything.
"What, honest gratitude? That is more than I had of you in our last meeting. I think you meant to cut my throat, cousin."
"I have sense enough to know what I owe you,"
Roh smiled a twisted smile and poured another panful of water into the pot on the fire, then settled and poured himself a cup of the Shiua liquor. He drank of it and grimaced. "Because I did not take advantage of you as I could have done? They would have gone on and on with that drug until you had
no sense left what you were doing, and if they had had long enough-well, you would have handed them everything you know, and that would have been enough to save your life… of sorts. You would have lived-perhaps… so long as humiliating you amused them. You do well to thank me. But of course I had to get you out of there; it was only practical. You would have ruined me. For the rest, well, you do owe me, do you not? At least you owe me better than to turn on me."
Vanye turned up his scarred palm, that was Morgaine's mark, sealed in blood and ash. "I cannot say that, and you know it. Whatever I have done and will do-is under ilin-law. No promise of mine is binding where it crosses that; I have no honor."
"But you have enough to remind me of it."
He shrugged, troubled, as Roh had always been able to seize his heart and turn it in him. "You should have looked well on what was happening in that tent last night. They dare not lay hands on you-yet. But they will find a way someday."
"I know. I know how far I can trust Hetharu, and we passed the borders of that territory long ago."
"So you surround yourself with the likes of Fwar. You know surely that he and his kindred served Morgaine once. They turned on her when they did not gain of her what they wanted. They will do the same for you the first time you cross their wishes. And that is not my hate speaking. That is the truth."
"I expect it daily. But the fact remains that Fwar and his men had rather serve me than the khal,reckoning how much the khallove them. The khalhave alienated every human in this camp, Hiua, marshlanders-all who have any experience of independence; but the marshlanders do not love Fwar, no, not in the least. Fwar and his Hiua lads are few, hard Men as they are, and he knows that if ever he slips, the marshlanders will put his face in the dirt. Fwar loves power. He must have it, many as his enemies have become. He joined Morgaine while he thought that she would give it to him, while it looked likely that he could remain her lieutenant and lord over conquests. He joined me only when it was clear that he could not deal with the khaland when he realized that I am also a power in this camp. Fwar keeps the marshlanders under his heel and that is useful to me. He is essential to my survival here; he is nothing without me and he knows it… but so long as I have him in my employ, the khaldo not rule Hiua or marshlanders in this camp. And arrogant as the khalare, they, do realize that they are outnumbered, and that the Men who still serve them are cattle, of their own making. No Shiua human is a match for marshlander or Hiua, and of course not all the Men who have lived under the khaltruly love their masters, not even those Men who wear the brand on their faces. The khalare really quite terrified of their own servants, and so they redouble their cruelties to keep them cowed… but that is not a thing to say openly. For one thing, it would not be good to have Men find it out, would it? -Another bit of bread?"
"I cannot."
Things among them have changed since Hetharu came to power," Roh continued with a shake of his head. "There was an urge to decency in some of these folk. But in the passage, only the strongest survived; they were generally not the fittest to live."
"You chose Hetharu for your ally… when you had other choices."
"I did, yes." Roh refilled both their cups. "To my lasting sorrow, I chose him. I have always been unfortunate in my allies. -Cousin… wheredo you reckon Morgaine is?"
Vanye swallowed at a bit suddenly gone dry and reached for the cup, drank deeply and ignored the question.
"The place she attempted to reach over by the river," Roh said, "is surely the control itself… I believe so; Hetharu surely does. Hetharu's patrols will scour that area… will have been doing so in searching for her. Hetharu wants the Hiua sent back out on her trail. I am not eager to send Fwar from me, for obvious reasons; Fwar himself is not at all anxious to go, but that even he sees the danger if that weapon of hers goes to Hetharu's men. Hetharu himself is terrified, I do not doubt, of someone like Shien… of even his own folk getting possession of it. I do not, I confess, like to think of Fwar holding it either. Of course Fwar should have let you lie under that horse and gone after her; he realizes that now, in cold blood, but… he is afraid of her: he has faced her weapons before, and it was fear that obscured his good sense-fear and his obsessive hate of you. He dared an arrow against her at distance, but facing Changeling. .. well, that is quite another matter, at least in his thought of the moment. Fwar sometimes needs time to reckon clearly where his advantage truly lies; his instincts for survival on the instant sometimes overwhelm those for the long range. He regrets that choice now; but the moment has passed-saving your help, of course."
"Then it has passed," he said; the words almost choked him. "I will not help you."
"Peace, peace, I advise you against any attack on me. And put khalurtactics from your mind; I could have done the same as they last night, if I would. No, I am the only safety you have here."
"Liell tended to allies like Fwar: bandits, cutthroats-a hall that would have had fit place in Shiuan, for all it was human-held. I find you unchanged-and my chances equal, here and there."
Roh's eyes clouded, cleared again slowly. "I do not blame you. I loathe my companions, as you warned me I would… but you forced me to them. They will kill me when they can; of course they will. You are safe here just as I am… only because Hetharu still fears a rising in the human camp if he comes and tries to take you; I could do that to him, and he fears it. Besides, he has reason to wait."
"What reason?"
"The hope that at any hour one of his patrols may ride in bearing Morgaine's weapons… and in that hour, my friend, we are both dead men. And there is yet another danger: that perhaps you and I and Morgaine are not the only ones in this land who can use the power of the Gate; perhaps there is knowledge to be had elsewhere in this land. And if that is so– Is it so, Vanye?"
He said nothing, trying to keep all reaction from his face.
"I suspect that there could be," Roh said. "Whatever else we have to fear, the sword is beyond doubt. It was madness ever to have made such a thing. Morgaine knows it, I am sure. And the thought of that… I know what is written in the runes on that blade, at least the gist of it. And that should never have been written."
"She knows it."
"Can you walk? Come here. I will show you something."
He strove to rise, and Roh lent his hand and steadied him as he limped across the shelter to the far side where Roh wished to lead him. There Roh flung back a ragged curtain, and showed him the horizon.
And there was the Gate, afire with shimmering colder than moonlight. Vanye gazed at it, and shuddered at that nearness, at the presence of that power that he had learned to dread.
"It is not good to look at, is it?" Roh asked. "It drinks up the mind like water. It hovers over us here. I have lived in that presence until it burns through the curtains and the wall. There is no peace with that thing. And the Men who live here, and the khal-feel it. Because of herthey have feared to leave it; and now they are beginning to fear to stay near it. Some may leave it and go out. Those who do stay here… will go mad."
Vanye turned from it, would have left Roh's help and risked falling, but Roh went with him and helped him down on the mat by the fire.
Roh sank down then on his heels, arms folded across his knees, and settled further, crosslegged. "So you see the other source of insanity in this place, deadlier than the akil.And far more powerful." He picked up his cup and drank it to the last, shuddered and swallowed heavily. "Vanye, I want you to guard myback for a time, as you have guarded hers."
"You are mad."
"No. I know you. There is no man more reliable. Save that other oath of yours, I know that any promise you give freely will be kept. And I am tired, Vanye." Roh's voice broke suddenly, and pain was in the brown eyes. "I ask only that you do this until it crosses your oath to her."
"That might be at any time I decide it is. And I owe you no warning."
"I know. Still I ask you. Only that."
He was bewildered, and turned the thing over and over in his mind,
finding no trap in it. At last he nodded. "Until then, I will do what I can. As I am-that is little. I do not understand you, Roh. I think you have something in mind, and I do not trust you."
"I have said what I want. For now-I will leave awhile. Sleep; do what you choose, so long as you stay in this shelter. There is clothing there if you must have it, but do not walk on that leg; keep the compresses on it, if you have any sense."
"If Fwar comes within my reach-"
"He would not come alone; you know him. Do not look for that kind of trouble. I will keep my eye in Fwar's direction, and you will not have to worry where he is." He gathered himself up and slung on his sword, but he left his bow and quiver.
And as he left he dropped the flap that curtained the door, taking most of the daylight.
Vanye lay down where he was and curled up to sleep, drawing a blanket over him. None did come to trouble his rest; and after a long while Roh returned, with no word of what he had been doing, though his face was weary.
"I am going to sleep," Roh said, and flung himself down on his unused pallet. "Wake me if it is necessary."
It was a strange vigil, to know the Gate on one side and khalurenemies on the other, and himself keeping watch over the kinsman he had sworn to kill. And he had leisure to think of Morgaine, counting the days since their parting… the fourth day, now, when any wound would have reached and passed its crisis, one way or the other.
Through the day he kept the compresses on the knee, and in late afternoon, Roh changed the dressings on his wounds and left him again a time, returning with food. Then Roh let him sleep, but waked him midway through the night and wished him to sit awake again while he slept.
He looked at Roh, wondering what was afoot that Roh dared not have them both asleep; but Roh cast himself down on his face as if the weariness on him were unbearable, as if it were more than last night that he had not slept securely. He stayed awake until the dawn, and drowsed the next morning, while Roh pursued his own business outside.
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