by S. Nelson
Pushing a heavy sigh from his mouth, Jagger looked dazed. A fleeting look skipped across his face, one so quick it disappeared before I could dissect it. “We’ll talk soon,” he said, squinting his eyes shut when he realized what he’d just said. “Sorry,” he apologized. “Y-you know what I mean.” I simply smiled, doing my best to communicate that I didn’t find offense with what he’d said. Actually, I found his screwups quite endearing.
He soon disappeared from my house, and as I watched him walk away, I couldn’t help but regret my decision to let him leave.
Jagger
Without sounding too much like a pussy, I felt as if I were floating on cloud nine. I spent the entire ride back to my apartment picturing her mouth against mine. The way our tongues melded together, teasing and tasting. The way her skin warmed from my touch. The look of longing on her face when she’d given in and demanded as much from me as I did from her.
The wind swathed me as I rode, the rumble of my bike’s engine eradicating some of my frustrations. Of the sexual kind, of course. Wanting desperately to take Kena to bed, the image of the two of us entwined, writhing around in blissful pleasure, bombarded me while I drove. I wouldn’t rush her; however, there was too much at stake, for both my head and my . . . heart?
I’d never allowed a female to consume my thoughts before, choosing only to use them for sexual gratification and nothing more. I’d also never pictured myself in a relationship before, electing to stay as detached as possible when it came to the opposite sex. Not that Kena and I were in a relationship. Well, not yet, at least. But hopefully in time, she would deem me worthy of being her man.
Although I wanted nothing more than to be with her, I knew danger lurked around every corner. Psych still hadn’t made a move to come and collect Sully, something which unnerved Marek, as well as the rest of the club. Plus, Snake would surely come after me again, and where would I be the next time? At one of my fights? Out with some of the guys? Or maybe out with Kena?
While I despised the thought of putting her in that situation again, I couldn’t help but be selfish.
I wanted her.
And I knew there was no way my head was going to win against my incessant need to possess her.
Before long, not remembering a single mile of the travel home, I veered up the incline of my street, whizzing past the parked cars and imagining what it would be like to live in a house filled with a family. Because my mother died giving birth to me, the only family I knew was my father. Obviously, I used the word “family” extremely loosely when referring to that man.
But then I’d stumbled upon Marek and Stone, jumping in without regard for my own safety in order to help them out. My assistance was rewarded when Marek insisted I stop by their clubhouse the following day.
As they say, the rest was history.
Or at least history in the making.
As I dismounted, clutching the black helmet in my hand, I strolled toward the front entrance, a tilted smile encroaching. For once, after a very long time, hope swirled inside me, and it happened because of one person.
The one woman who challenged me to be a better man without even realizing it.
Once inside, I pulled my T-shirt over my head, catching the faint smell of vanilla. Inhaling the only remnants of her, I took my fill before tossing the shirt to the floor in the corner of the bathroom. I imagined my sloppiness grating on her nerves, triggering many an argument, and while the subject should’ve served to irritate me, I could only grin. Wanting nothing more than to share my life with someone, daily struggles and all, I’d embrace each and every moment she gifted me.
To be thinking of her as if she were the one didn’t scare me, although it probably should have. I was only twenty-two, too young to even think about settling down, but I knew deep inside that she differed from every other woman out there.
Felt it deep inside my broken soul.
Continued images of her lifted my spirits as I washed the day off me, my fingers circling my arousal in an attempt to tamper the need surging through me to claim her, if only in thought. Desiring someone so desperately both unnerved and exhilarated me.
Two contradictory emotions, neither of which I gave in to completely.
I had no idea what the future held for me until it smacked me in the face. Drifting off to sleep, the only thing I kept praying for was to get what I’d wanted. I figured fate would deliver soon enough.
Or not.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Adelaide asked over my shoulder, snatching my phone from me before passing me her daughter. She smirked before taking a few steps back, completely out of my reach from my lounging position on her couch. I cradled Riley in my arms, the baby’s presence dispelling any frustrations I’d had at Adelaide’s prank. I ignored her, concentrating on trying to make the four-month-old baby smile. Normally I wasn’t a kid person, but Stone and Adelaide’s child was surely someone special. She had the entire protection of our club behind her, and she didn’t have a clue how much shit we were gonna give any boy who came near her as she got older. Poor thing.
Riley’s tiny fingers clutched my thumb, gurgling and staring at me like I was some kind of large toy. Her bright green eyes marveled at the sight of me, and I returned the favor.
“Why are you looking up books on sign language?” Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Adelaide’s curiosity written all over her face, her brows knitted together while she continued to stare first at my phone’s screen, then at me.
“There’s this girl I met,” I answered, repositioning Riley so I could turn around without fearing I was gonna squish her. I’d planned on leaving it at that, not going into too much detail, when Stone ambled into the living room, running a towel over his head to help dry his hair. Bare-chested, drops of water running down his torso, it was obvious he’d just hopped out of the shower. Thank fuck he had enough sense to put on a pair of shorts before strolling out.
“You talking about the girl from the fight?” He leaned in to give his woman a kiss before walking toward me and reaching for his daughter. If life ever granted me children, I could only hope to be half the father Stone turned out to be. He loved his daughter with a fierceness I’d never seen before, coddling and fussing over her constantly. Or at least that’s the way he was whenever I was around.
“Oooo, what girl?” Adelaide teased, biting her lower lip and wriggling her brows. She passed Stone a bottle of formula, all while keeping her stare glued to me. Obviously she wasn’t gonna let up until I gave her a bit of information.
“Just some girl,” I replied, the words erroneously riddled with nonchalance to throw her off the trail. As soon as Stone opened his mouth again, I knew more details would be demanded, so I crossed my ankle over my knee and settled in for the interrogation.
“Just some girl, my ass,” Stone mumbled, tipping the bottle higher so Riley could eat. “He’s gaga over this chick. Don’t let him fool ya.” He sat down beside me, hitting my shoulder with his as he looked down at his daughter. If Stone wasn’t such a good friend, I would’ve up and left the house, refusing to allow anyone to rib on me just because they felt they could. But in truth, I’d come to their house because I’d secretly hoped to talk to him about her. The other guys at the club would razz me, blowing off whatever I felt toward her as nothing more than needing to get laid.
“All right,” I confessed. “So she’s more than just some girl.” Throwing my arm over the back of the sofa, I said, “I really like her, but. . . .”
“But what?” Adelaide asked, handing back the phone she’d grabbed from me moments earlier.
“She can’t talk, so I need to learn sign language in order to understand what she’s trying to tell me.”
“Wait, I’m confused,” Adelaide said. “Is she deaf?”
“No, she just can’t speak. So while she can hear me, if I ask her anything other than a yes or no question, she has to sign. And as of right now, I only know “thank you.”” Puffing out my cheeks in frustration, the stress of not being able to commu
nicate properly with Kena already weighing on me, I threw my head back and closed my eyes.
“Sully knows sign language. Maybe she can teach you.” The last word barely left Adelaide’s mouth before I had already jumped to my feet. The knowledge that someone I knew could help thrilled me, but then realization hit. No way would Marek allow us time together. As quickly as I became excited, defeat rained down all over me. Slumping my shoulders, I walked toward their kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator. Grabbing a beer, I popped the top and took a big swig.
“Help yourself,” Stone grunted, turning his brief attention away from me and back to his daughter.
“What’s the problem, Jagger?” Adelaide asked, sitting next to her family.
“Marek will never go for it.” She opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off. “Trust me, he won’t, which sucks because I need to learn this shit like yesterday.”
“We’ll talk to him,” Stone offered, passing Riley to her mother to finish the feeding. Rising, he walked past me and grabbed his own bottle of beer.
“Yeah? How long’s that gonna take?”
“No time at all,” he answered. “He and Sully are on their way here now.”
Jagger
I would’ve been lying if I’d said being in such close proximity to Sully and Marek together didn’t play on my nerves. The only thing settling me was that he seemed to have softened toward me somewhat over the previous couple weeks. Okay, maybe softened was the wrong choice of word. His borderline hatred of me had lessened, tolerating my presence more and more as the days passed. Hey, any little bit helped.
Taking a seat in the lone recliner, facing the sofa where everyone else perched themselves, allowed me to follow along with their conversation while keeping to myself. Laughing right along with Stone and Adelaide while they regaled us with some of their stories of Riley tempered some of the tension swirling in the air. Or was that just around me?
“But when she looks at me like I’m her whole world, it just does somethin’ to me, man.” Stone smiled, glancing over at his best friend. Adelaide grazed the back of his head with her hand, and when he turned to look at her, she kissed him. A simple gesture of affection, but it made me long to be with Kena. I wanted so much to be wrapped up in her, just like Stone was with Adelaide. Hell, even the way Marek was with Sully.
I’d coyly snuck peeks at my prez’s wife, watched her glancing at her husband every now and again, and I desperately prayed Kena would gift me with the same adoration someday. Minus the sorrow laced behind her eyes, an emotion which confused me because I had no idea where it had come from. I would like to have said Sully and I were friends, and I thought we were . . . to a point. But we’d never been able to explore and strengthen our relationship because of her husband.
Marek’s stubbornness aggravated many people, but that trait had also helped the club in immeasurable ways. His quest to never give up on getting his hands on Yanez, for one. Something which had paid off, because the world was now free of such an evil, despicable human being. If I could even call him that.
Moments of fussing over Riley filled the ensuing silence, all of us fascinated with the tiny human. When the baby was placed in Sully’s arms, a heart-wrenching look passed over her face, one that was gone too quickly to discern exactly what it had meant.
“So,” Adelaide started, reaching over and stroking Riley’s head while Sully held her close, “Stone and I wanted to know if you and Marek would be Riley’s godparents.” For a brief moment, I’d almost felt like I was intruding on a sacred moment between close friends, but it quickly passed when I saw the smiles light up all their expressions, especially Sully’s. She was elated, and it pleased me to see her so happy.
To see all of them so happy.
“We don’t go to church,” Marek blurted, “but we’d do it if you could find a way around that little issue.” He kissed Sully’s temple before placing his hand over Riley’s tiny chest. “We’d be honored, is probably the response you wanted,” he chuckled.
“Well, yeah, I guess it is,” Stone agreed, reaching over and smacking his friend on the back. “I don’t go to church either, and while Addy is a practicing Catholic, she kind of fell off attending as well. But she has a great relationship with her church’s priest, and he said he would officiate Riley’s baptism, no problem.”
“We were thinking of having it at the clubhouse, if that’s okay with you,” Adelaide said, glancing from Stone to Marek and back again.
“I’m pretty sure that question was to you, buddy,” Stone said, jerking his head toward Marek.
“Of course. Yeah. Whatever you two need, we’ll do it.” They all continued to smile, and their joy seeped into me and calmed me further.
And then Adelaide opened her mouth and started talking to Sully.
About something which involved me. A topic which would surely get under Marek’s skin and squash all the happy vibes floating around the room.
“Sully, you know how to sign, right?” Adelaide asked, continuing to stroke the top of her daughter’s head, calming her as soon as Riley started to cry.
“Yeah, why?” she answered, her gaze never wavering from the child in her arms, not until Stone had cleared his throat. Even he knew what was coming, preparing himself to deal with whatever blowback would possibly occur.
“How do you know it?” I blurted out, not even realizing I’d asked the question until after the words had left my mouth. Marek picked his head up and looked at me, but thankfully his expression was void of anger. Irritation may have been at the forefront, but not anger.
“I didn’t have much going on when I lived. . . .” She trailed off before taking a breath and continuing. “I had to be inventive, fill my days with something, so I watched videos and convinced my father to allow me to buy a book on the subject. I would sit in my room for hours on end and have conversations with myself just so I could practice.” She smiled, but the curve of her lips waned. Handing Riley back to Adelaide, she tucked a strand of her black hair behind her ear before resting her hands in her lap.
“Why the sudden curiosity?” Marek inquired, looking at everyone, including me.
“Jagger’s interested in someone, and she can’t speak. So he needs to learn sign language in order to understand her,” Adelaide offered. If Stone had been the one to talk, he probably would’ve been a bit crasser about my situation, no doubt throwing in that I wanted to get Kena into bed and needed a way to tell her so, or some shit like that.
“Is she deaf?” Sully asked, quickly glancing toward Marek to see how he was faring with her talking to me. Luckily, he didn’t seem to have minded, but maybe that was because his wife and I were not alone together.
“No, she just can’t speak,” I responded, scratching the side of my head as a distraction.
“So she can hear, just doesn’t wanna talk? Is that what it is?” Marek asked, confused by the turn of conversation.
“No,” I said, a little more intensely than I’d intended. “She physically can’t talk. I haven’t worked up the nerve yet to ask her what happened. It might be a touchy subject.” Breathe deep. “And yes, she can hear. But for right now, I can only ask her yes and no questions, because otherwise . . . I just can’t understand her when she tries to communicate with me.” Annoyance trickled through my veins because they’d forced me to talk about Kena’s condition, and although the conversation was one derived from simply curiosity, I felt as if I were betraying her in some way.
“Oh, how awful for her,” Sully said, a frown suddenly appearing. “I’d love to help you, but I’m not sure I can.” Without realizing, she caught her husband’s eye before turning back toward me. She silently asked permission with the quick look they’d shared. The last thing I wanted to do was turn the joyous nature of the day’s visit into one filled with bristling tension, but I had no other choice.
With every moment that ticked by where I couldn’t properly communicate with Kena, I feared she’d deem me not worthy and move on to someone who
could understand her. Someone like Kevin. Someone who fully comprehended her situation and could give her something I couldn’t.
So I decided to risk Marek’s anger and pushed Sully on the topic.
“Anything you could teach me would be awesome. I really like her. It’d mean a lot to me.” I leaned back in my seat and patiently waited to see what would happen. Thankfully, Stone’s woman interjected her two cents.
“It’s the perfect solution. Isn’t it, Sully?” Adelaide asked, first locking eyes with her friend, then with Marek, silently challenging him to disagree. Adelaide wasn’t afraid of anyone, and I truly admired that about her. She’d put Stone’s volatile ass in check on quite a few occasions, and while the leader of the Knights Corruption unnerved me at times, he had no such effect on Adelaide.
Tense, uncertain seconds passed without a single word spoken from anyone. I swore they heard my heart thrumming inside my chest, felt the uneasiness wrapping around me, but still the silence continued.
Deciding to end it, I finally spoke up. “It’s okay. I’ll figure something else out. No biggie.” Slumping back in my chair in defeat, I ran my hand through my hair in uncertainty.
“Nonsense,” Adelaide pushed, handing Riley to Marek to hold. A distraction tactic at best, and I think it worked; everyone loved the little girl, Marek being no exception. “Jagger, Sully will help teach you what you need to know. It’s not every day someone special falls into your lap.”
“That’s a whole other topic, sweetheart,” Stone teased, grabbing his woman by the waist and pulling her impossibly close.
Shoving his shoulder in mock annoyance, she turned back toward me, an amused look on her face. “I’m serious. We need to help him out. And if anyone here has a problem with that, they’ll have to deal with me.” A smile still danced on her lips, but everyone present knew she was dead serious. Even Marek.
All heads turned toward the dark-haired leader of the club, breathlessly waiting for him to speak. Would he assert his dominance over the entire group? Or would Adelaide’s not-so-subtle demands win out?
