by S. Nelson
Kena
Sleep evaded me. My eyes fluttered closed but my mind raced, thoughts of Jagger flooding in. My inner voice warned me of danger, but my soul soared whenever we were together. I found it hard to explain, even to myself, so all my inner ramblings were pushed to the wayside by my feelings for him.
Because I couldn’t fall into the blissful arms of slumber, I’d decided a hot shower might calm me enough to try again. Running my hands over my soapy skin, I imagined they were Jagger’s instead. My brain immediately went back to the kiss earlier that evening. The way his taste invaded my senses proved even more powerful than the last time our mouths had collided. Nipping and suckling, tasting and devouring. On top of it all, the revelation that he’d learned sign language just about undid me. My heart burst at the seams, splintering apart before becoming whole again, only this time I was more vulnerable than before. Realizing he cared for me more than I thought scared me, but only because I feared him tearing me to pieces with a simple denial. Of what magnitude I didn’t dare think.
Finishing up, I finally turned the handle and shut off the water, wrapping a towel around my body before running another over my wet hair. Steam kissed my exposed skin as I stepped from the stall into the middle of the bathroom. Music drifted from my phone’s speakers but when the song ended, I heard a noise coming from the living room.
Leaning my ear against the door, I heard Braylen shouting at someone. Who the hell would be here at this hour? Had Ryder found out where we lived and showed up to apologize for blowing her off? Curiosity pushed me to crack open the door, allowing the chill of the air to barrel in.
“I need to see her, Braylen. It’s important. Please let me in.” Jagger’s gruff voice traveled down the hallway, my fear escalating as to why he’d shown up on our doorstep at nearly two in the morning. Needing to find out the reason, I threw my towel to the ground before wrapping my short black robe around me, cinching the belt at the waist before rushing toward the front of the house. In my haste, I’d almost tripped over my feet, but luckily managed to remain upright.
As soon as I entered the living room, I saw Jagger standing near the front door. Apparently his plea had convinced my sister to let him in, although her body blocked him from going any further.
What happened to you? I signed, hastening my advance toward him in desperate concern. His wet hair told me he’d recently showered, but the water didn’t wash away the damage littering his body. His left eye was cut near his brow, the skin surrounding it puffy and red, well on its way to becoming a nasty black contusion. The flesh on his cheekbone and jaw was colored a dark red, the edges already turning a tinge of purple. When I glanced down at his fists, I noticed his knuckles appeared raw, as if he’d run them over a cheese grater.
When he’d left me earlier, he never mentioned having to fight that night, so I could only assume something bad had taken place. Something frightful enough to push him to come to my house afterward.
Taking a step toward me, he pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me tightly. His warm breath fanned my wet air, triggering a chill to break out all over my body. Pulling back briefly, he asked, “Can we go to your room?”
Nodding, I gave my sister a half smile before reaching for Jagger’s hand, threading my fingers with his and pulling him behind me back down the shortened hallway. Once inside my bedroom, I closed the door before removing my hand from his. I walked toward the bed and sat on the edge, waiting for him to tell me why he was there. Watching him pace in front of me should’ve unnerved me, but the opposite was true. His anxiety calmed mine, taking my mind off my own unease and pushing the focus onto him.
When he stopped, he turned toward me and locked me in his stare. He opened his mouth to speak but no words tumbled forth, an action which happened to me more times than I could count. But I had a reason. He didn’t, other than struggling with what to tell me and what to keep hidden. The more he remained still, the heavier his breathing became. I swore I saw the pulse in his neck throbbed.
What happened? I asked him again, resting my hands back in my lap after signing.
“I can’t talk about it,” he answered, looking regretful right away.
Why?
“Because I can’t.”
Then why are you here? I expected silence but instead he moved toward me, hovering so close I had no choice but to lean back on the bed, my arms behind me for support.
“Because I need you, Kena. I need you to calm me.” His thumb gently stroked my bottom lip. The look in his eyes made me hyper-aware that my robe barely hid my nakedness. An ache only Jagger could elicit began, the throbbing between my legs almost unbearable. Could he sense it? Did he have any idea how he made me feel?
No more words were spoken as he kicked off his shoes, and climbed on the bed until his body hovered over mine. I’d pushed myself further back on the mattress, coming to rest when I settled in the middle. Holding himself up on his forearms, his face was mere inches from my own, his warm breath dancing over my lips.
Tempting me.
Tormenting me.
“I need you,” he repeated, before crushing his lips to mine. Our kiss turned frenzy, the heat of our mouths fusing us as one. I lost myself to his taste, just like I had the other times he’d completely consumed me. My hands wrapped around his upper arms while he kissed me with such passion I’d become drunk on it.
Jagger’s one arm roamed the length of my body, stopping at the hem of my robe before dipping underneath. As he explored my skin, his fingers skating higher and higher, I suddenly became nervous. I pulled my mouth from his and pressed further into the bed, gripping his bicep in slight warning.
His hand stilled on my hipbone, but his finger brushed back and forth over my heated skin. I didn’t think he even realized he was doing it, so I didn’t stop him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, dipping down to give me a quick kiss. A reassuring kiss, of sorts.
I didn’t know how to respond so I simply shook my head. His eyes penetrated my own for a brief moment before he pushed himself off me. Standing at the side of the bed, he reached for my hand and pulled me to my feet, directly in front of him.
Clutching my robe tightly around me, I made sure my belt hadn’t come undone before releasing my hands.
“What’s wrong? You can tell me. Do you not want to be with me? Am I going too fast?” The look of concern on his face relaxed me. I knew I’d made a big deal of him touching me, but my inexperience made me stiffen. I wanted nothing more than to give Jagger my virginity, but I knew I should probably tell him the reason for my hesitation.
I raised my hands in front of me, his eyes lowering to watch me tell him something. I’ve never done it before. Embarrassment stole my next response, so I patiently waited for him to say something in return.
Cocking his head, his eyebrows knit together, causing him to wince from the deep cut set above it. Gently touching his wound, he gave me a lazy smile before speaking.
“Does that mean what I think it means?”
My shy expression gave him the answer.
Pulling me into his arms, he kissed the top of my head, his lips lingering for added affection. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, baby. I would never rush you.” Taking a step back while still holding my arms, he continued to comfort me. “Besides, I wouldn’t want our first time together to be in the same vicinity as your sister.” He laughed. “I think she’d try and cut my dick off.” He chuckled some more, making me break out in the biggest smile.
Bringing his arms around me again, he gave me a lingering hug before releasing me once more. “Do you mind if I stay over, though? I just want to be near you. I swear I won’t try anything,” he promised. “I just wanna hold you.”
I pulled him toward my bed and threw back the covers, releasing his hand as I climbed in. Once he’d disrobed, leaving on his white boxer briefs, he snuggled in next to me. Turning on our sides, he drank in my essence, tracing his fingertips up and down my arm. My eyes sta
rted to close after a while, but quickly opened when the pad of his thumb came to rest on my throat.
“What happened, Kena? Why can’t you talk?”
Swallowing against his touch, I knew I owed him an explanation. I just didn’t like talking about it, fearing it made me appear weak, even though I knew the mere thought was ludicrous. I inched back a little so I could put some space between us.
When I was a baby, I contracted a viral infection. It damaged the nerves in my larynx.
“So you’ve never spoken? Not a day in your life?”
No. Not one word.
“Oh, man. That sucks.” He closed his eyes in regret the instant he’d said it. “Sorry.”
Don’t worry about it. You’re right. It does suck.
In order to abate the awkwardness that followed, I decided to ask him a question I’d been wondering for quite some time. Since we were sharing and all.
Is Jagger your real name?
“No.”
Care to tell me what it is?
“No.” His lips kicked up in the cockiest of grins. “Just kidding, although I don’t like it, so please don’t ever use it.”
Oh this should be good. Wait, don’t tell me. Let me guess. Tapping my forefinger against my lips, I appeared to be contemplating his name. Is it Milton?
Laughing, he quickly said, “No, but nice try.”
Okay, okay, hold on. I got it. Is it Arlo?
“Arlo? What the hell kind of name is that?” He shook his head, laughing.
No more kidding around. I know your real name. I licked my lips, drawing his attention to my mouth as a distraction. It’s Beauford.
With a faux shocked expression, he attacked me, tickling my side and throwing me into a fit of hysterics. Although he couldn’t hear my laughter, he could see me smiling, writhing around uncontrollably. Finally coming to rest on top of me, he pinned my hands above my head, essentially rendering me “speechless.”
“You sure do have an active imagination, woman. No, my first name is not Beauford. If you must know,” he stalled, averting his eyes briefly, “it’s Harold.”
I wriggled my wrists in his hold, trying to let him know I wanted to respond. Releasing his grasp, I made a few quick movements with my hands. Harold’s not that bad. Why don’t you want me to use it?
A dark look stole over his face. “Because it’s my father’s name.”
And you don’t get along with your dad?
“No.” His curt answer warned me not to push, but I did it anyway.
Why not?
“He hates me . . . and the feeling is mutual. Look, I don’t wanna talk about him, okay?” He pushed off me, flipped over and came to rest on his back, folding his arms over his chest in unease. Upsetting him was the last thing I wanted so I nestled close, hinting that I wanted to comfort him.
Without a second thought, he unfolded his arms and pulled me to him, allowing me to rest my head on his chest. The rhythmic thumping of his heart calmed me, and a short time later, I drifted off to sleep, cushioned in the safety of Jagger’s embrace.
Jagger
“Can I borrow Adelaide for a few hours?” As soon as the question left my mouth, I knew perhaps I should’ve rephrased it. Yeah, no doubt the way I blurted out such an odd request would surely piss off Stone.
Stalking toward me, he balled his fists at his sides while he glared at me.
“What the fuck does that mean?” he growled, advancing on me quicker than I thought possible.
I held up my hands in surrender, realizing Stone’s protectiveness over his woman rivaled Marek’s for Sully.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask like that.” I smirked, although taking his anger lightly could surely prove dangerous.
“You better wipe that grin off your face, Jagger, before I wipe it off for you.” Stone took another step, but halted as soon as Adelaide entered their kitchen. We both watched as she rounded the table and approached me, gently cupping the side of my face.
“You need to protect yourself more when you’re fighting,” she instructed, slightly shaking her head before kissing my cheek. A concerned smile graced her features when she pulled back, an expression I both appreciated and detested. I hated the thought that she might find out exactly why I’d received the cuts and abrasions, not wanting her image of me to be tainted. Irrational, I realized, but the thoughts flitted through my head nonetheless.
I’d always liked Adelaide, even more so since she’d brought such happiness into my friend’s life. Although, glancing at his hardened expression, he appeared anything but right then.
“What brings you by today?” she asked, busying herself preparing a bottle to feed Riley.
“Funny you should ask,” I replied, moving closer to her and further away from her man. “I need help furnishing my place and I thought that, since you did such a great job with your house,” I complimented, gesturing with a wide sweep of my arm, “you could help me.”
My eyes quickly surveyed the adjacent rooms, pops of color set amongst a neutral backdrop. No doubt Stone had chosen the tan wall paint, as well as the dark, brown leather furniture, but it was his woman’s eye for detail which set the room apart from most. A multi-colored, intricately woven area rug sat underneath their chest-type coffee table, pulling the non-descript wall color into its design as well as the red and yellow throw pillows. Colorful artwork adorned their walls, as well as antique-looking knickknacks placed on shelves Stone had installed after Adelaide moved in. I’d seen the transformation during my visits to their house, so I knew she would be the perfect person to ask for this task.
Adelaide smiled. “Flattery will get you everywhere.” I thought I heard Stone grunt, but tried not to pay him any mind. “Of course. Can you go today?”
“Yeah. Today would be perfect, in fact.”
I’d wanted to invite Kena over, but no way would I expose her to the current state of my place. She deserved better. Besides, I’d meant to spruce up the place for a while now; Kena just happened to give me the push to forge ahead.
Thinking of her, I hated that I’d left her house so abruptly a few days before, but I needed time by myself to process everything that had happened. Leaving her sleeping form had been extremely difficult, but I knew if I’d stuck around, she’d somehow try to force me to explain why I’d shown up at her house in the middle of the night. And no way was I ready to divulge that sort of information. Not now. Maybe not ever.
So I decided to leave her a note, apologizing for leaving before she woke but that I’d text her later that day. And I did, but unfortunately, all we’d been doing was texting. Realizing I hadn’t been in the right state of mind, I came up with excuse after excuse as to why I couldn’t see her, but I knew she’d become frustrated with my absence. Her texts proved as much, her replies short and to the point.
“Hello,” Stone called out, snapping his fingers in front of my face. “What the hell are you thinkin’ about?”
“What?” I startled, leaning against the counter to brace myself. “No one,” I uttered.
Realizing my mistake did nothing to stop the barrage of questions Adelaide hurled my way. “No one?” she asked, smiling while she glanced back and forth between me and Stone. “This is for that girl you learned sign language for, isn’t it?? Oh, this is getting serious.” Clasping her hands together, she let out an endearing, albeit frustrating, yelp of glee. “It is, isn’t it?”
“Stone . . . a little help here,” I pleaded.
“Nope,” he mumbled, opening the cabinet to hand Adelaide the top to the bottle she was making for their daughter. “You wanted her, so there you go. Take her.” He grinned, earning him a slap on the arm from the mother of his child.
Tightening the lid of the bottle, she handed it over to Stone, which he readily accepted. I’d never seen a man so enthralled with the day-to-day dealings with his child as much as I’d seen with Stone. A tiny shard splintered a piece of my heart at the thought that I’d never received even an iota of compassion and love f
rom my own father. And while I’d missed out on one of the fundamentals in life, protection and encouragement from a parent, I was thrilled Riley would receive it in spades her entire life. Not only from Adelaide and Stone but from all of us. The poor thing would be smothered in love, so much so I was sure she’d find an issue with it at some point.
“Let me get changed and we can go,” Adelaide announced, gifting Stone with a quick kiss before disappearing around the corner.
As soon as she was out of sight, I leaned in close, choosing to lower my voice for what I had to say. “I’m assuming you heard about what happened a few days ago.” I’d said it more as a statement than a question, garnering a raised brow from Stone.
“Of course I did,” he replied, leaning against the same counter and mirroring my body language—arms crossed over the chest, muscles tensed in a touch of anxiety. Me more so than him. “You good?”
What a simple yet loaded question. How did I feel about everything that had happened in the span of less than a week? I supposed I hadn’t allowed myself to fully digest what I’d done, choosing to focus on eradicating the threat to Kena more than anything else. Stone and I were locked in the same headspace when it came to destroying the risk to those we cared about, so I knew he’d understand why I’d flown into a rage and ended up killing Snake. Besides, that piece of shit belonged to our enemy. I could’ve walked up to him on the street and shot him dead and Stone wouldn’t have looked at me twice in question. Well . . . okay, maybe not in that situation, but pretty similar.
“To be honest, I’ve tried to block it out. I don’t have the mental energy to deal with the consequences of what I’ve done. All I thought about while I beat him was that I needed to eliminate any threat possible toward Kena.” His confused expression spurred me to explain. “He told me he was gonna snatch her and pass her around his club, but only after he’d had his fill.” I ran my hands over my face, careful not to further aggravate my cuts and bruises. “I lost it, man. My vision tunneled into near black and I let my fists take over. The only reason I stopped was because Tripp pulled me off him.”
