by Dinah McLeod
Finally, she settled on a pair of gray pants—the jury was still out on whether they were actually were, in fact, appropriate to wear in public. They were comfortable, like lounge pants, but they hadn’t been sold in the loungewear aisle, so there was hope. It at least made her comfortable enough to wear them in front of Candice. Not like she had much choice. It was either those, or the bridesmaid’s dress. She also managed to procure a t-shirt that, while wrinkled, didn’t have any obvious stains. It also was one of the few she owned without swear words on them, which was a plus.
She grabbed a brush off the vanity and ran it through her hair as quickly as she could and spritzed some body spray on before sprinting out of the room. She resumed a normal, casual walk just before she entered the living room.
Candice had made herself right at home on the sofa. She was so pretty and perfect and could look like a million bucks anywhere, even on Kaitlyn’s beat-up, stained couch.
“Sorry about that. Coffee should be ready soon.”
“Oh, you didn’t have to change! I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing, I didn’t mean to put you out.”
“You’re not putting me out.” Kaitlyn gave her a brief smile. “I’m just not a morning person. Let me get some coffee in me, and I’ll be just fine.”
A few minutes later she returned from the kitchen with steaming cups for them both, one of which she handed to Candice McCoy. She hoped the general’s wife wasn’t used to getting her caffeine fix from pretty china cups and dainty saucers, because all she had to offer were good old-fashioned mugs.
“Mm, this smells delicious.”
“It tastes as good as it smells,” Kaitlyn assured her without a hint of conceit as she took a seat beside her on the couch. “Coffee is my specialty. It makes for a poor meal, at least in Sean’s opinion, but it’s about the only thing I know how to make.”
“Oh, Kaitlyn!” Candice giggled. “You really are a riot!”
Kaitlyn stared back nonplused and after a few moments Candice’s smile dimmed.
“Well, you are kidding, of course?”
“Afraid not.”
“Well. Well, we’ll just have to see to it that that changes, won’t we? I can teach you.”
“Good luck with that.” She smiled to show that she didn’t intend to hurt her feelings. “Many have tried, and many have failed.”
Candice sat up straighter, beaming at her. “I haven’t, and let me assure you, I don’t give up on a challenge. I mean, take the general, for example. Do you think he always had such impeccable manners? For heaven’s sake, if you could see what he used to dress like…” Then, as if just realizing what she’d confessed about her husband, Candice clapped her hand over mouth.
Kaitlyn couldn’t help but find it comical.
“I didn’t mean… the general, you know, is a wonderful man—”
“Candice, relax. This is me you’re talking to, remember? We’re friends. What you tell me stays just between us.”
She visibly relaxed. “Thank you. That means a lot to me. I don’t have to tell you what he would think if word got out…”
“It won’t. Not on my watch.”
Candice gave her a small smile. “There’s a lot we Army wives do that has to stay behind the scenes.”
“You can say that again.”
She began to fold back the aluminum foil that covered the plate she’d been keeping in her lap. “Muffin?”
Kaitlyn gratefully accepted one. They were big, with colorful blueberries showing through the moist muffins. She bit into one and moaned in pleasure on the spot. It was full of flavor and practically melted in her mouth. “Please teach me to do this,” she pleaded as soon as she’d swallowed it down with coffee, already reaching for another. “Even if I only learn how to make these, I’m sure it will be enough to keep Sean happy.”
“I can teach you how to make a lot more than muffins,” Candice laughed. “But we can start there, if you want to.”
“I definitely want to,” she assured her, sighing in bliss as she bit into another. She was pretty sure she could live on these and be pretty happy about it.
“I can do that. We can start whenever you like.”
“How about tomorrow?” she asked, her mouth full of muffin.
“I’ll call you at nine tomorrow, to see if you’re up?” she teased, her eyes twinkling.
“Nine-thirty.”
“Nine-thirty, then. It’s a plan.”
Kaitlyn nodded, happy with the arrangement and even happier to eat her muffin.
“I just wanted to stop by to check on you. You know, see how things were going.”
“Things are going great.” It was true, now that she’d discovered these awesome muffins.
“I am so glad to hear that. You have no idea how much. Did Sean like your haircut?”
She made a face. “Well, not exactly, but we… worked it out.”
“Good! Sometimes, that’s the best we can hope for. Don’t you agree?”
She nodded, not noticing the gleam that entered her friend’s eyes as she leaned forward.
“So… I take it that that means that your watchdog has been let off his leash?”
“Huh?” She contemplated her muffin. “What? You mean Jarrod? I mean, I guess. Yeah. Why do you ask?”
“Well, it’s just that I have a friend who’s just moved to town, off-base, of course. Her name’s Jamie, and anyway, she’s single and I was just trying to think of someone whose company she might enjoy. Sergeant Peters just sort of sprang to mind. And I thought now with your husband back on U.S. soil that Sergeant Peters might have a bit more free time on his hands.”
Kaitlyn now detected the eager matchmaker tone and that, coupled with what she’d said, made her breakfast sour in her stomach. She put the half-eaten muffin back on the plate hurriedly before she gave into the urge to smash it into Candice’s perfectly made-up face. What the hell? So Sean was home. So what? So that suddenly put Jarrod smack-dab on the Women’s Most Wanted list? Of course, he would dominate that list, but that still didn’t give Candice the right to put his name on it!
If he had any free time, he’d spend it here! Of course! What else would he do? They’d do things like they always had. They’d have dinner. They’d watch movies. Whatever. He wasn’t going to be going out on dates! The idea was absurd. She was sure Jarrod would tell her so himself, but he wasn’t going to have to bother, because she was going to handle it for him.
“Jarrod’s seeing someone.” It just slipped out. She hadn’t even known what she was going to say until the words were already out.
“Oh, really?” Candice’s featured scrunched up in disappointment. “Who?”
“You don’t know her.” She tried to talk normally, like her heart wasn’t pounding in her ears. She really didn’t like to lie. She never seemed to get away with it.
“Well, that’s a shame,” Candice sighed. “But there’s nothing anyone can do, I suppose.”
“I’m sorry,” Kaitlyn offered feebly.
“No, don’t be silly. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She winced, because of course, she had. But she didn’t see how she could tell her that, how she could make it right. What was even wrong with her? Why should she get so defensive and feel so territorial? Jarrod wasn’t hers. He never had been. Kaitlyn was squirming with so much guilt it was hard to even sit next to Candice.
“Oh, is that what time it is?” She looked at her cellphone, pretending to be dumbfounded. “I’m so sorry, I have to go! I’m going to the… grocery store. Yeah, and I want to get there before…”
“Before all the pork chops are gone,” Candice finished for her, standing gracefully to her feet. “It is Wednesday, after all.”
Kaitlyn blinked back at her, dumbfounded.
“If you’re able to get some, let me know and we’ll cook them tomorrow. I have a recipe for a brown sugar bourbon sauce I think your husband would love. Here, why don’t you keep these for you and Sean to enjoy?”
“I understand. See you tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow,” she echoed woodenly, following Candice to the door. “Thanks for stopping by.”
“I enjoyed it. Thank you for the coffee.”
She nodded and opened the door. As soon as it was shut, she leaned on it, wondering what she’d done. It had been so stupid. So what if Jarrod went on a date? Why should she care? But regardless of whether she should or shouldn’t, the plain fact was that she did, whether she had the right to or not.
Chapter Six
Three weeks later
“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”
Kaitlyn groaned as the covers were pulled off her. “Five more minutes.”
“I don’t have five more minutes, babe.”
When his words registered, her eyes flew open and she sat up with a gasp. Today was the day.
“I know you’re not a morning person, but I couldn’t leave without having one last breakfast in bed.”
She smiled at the tray he held, even though it was bittersweet. In the last weeks together, they’d fallen into such a wonderful routine that she’d been pretending this day would never come. Now it was time for him to go back to work and she’d have to content herself with waking up alone again and seeing him at dinnertime.
As her eyes flickered across his face, she scrambled across the bed and moved toward him “You didn’t!” She reached up and caressed his newly shaved face.
“Had to, babe.”
“I thought you’d at least let me say goodbye!”
“I thought it’d be easier this way. If I hadn’t, you might have convinced me to keep it.”
She giggled and accepted the tray as he held it out toward her. When they’d first married, he’d stayed mostly clean-shaven, but the one time he’d grown a beard during duty-free time, she’d hated it. So it had been a pleasant surprise to both of them that she’d seemed to have grown a fondness for it this time around.
“I’m going to miss you,” he told her as he settled down on the bed beside her, reaching for a plate.
She handed him the plate with one hand and grabbed a glass of juice in the other. “I’m going to miss you, too.” She noticed that he was already in his BDUs. It looked like breakfast this morning really was going to be an eat and run. She’d known it would be, but that didn’t make it any easier.
“I made cinnamon rolls.”
“And eggs.” She made a face.
“Eat them. Eggs are good for you. Lots of protein.”
“I don’t know if you know this, Sergeant Green, but I have stopped growing.”
“I don’t want you to grow,” he chuckled. “I just want you to have energy for me when I come home. Save your dirty talk for then.”
She rolled her eyes as she picked up her cinnamon roll. “We’re not playing soldier and nurse again. Not after last time.”
“Hey, I just thought it’d be nice if the nurse got an exam every now and again.”
Kaitlyn scoffed, but her heart really wasn’t in it.
“I’ll be home before you know it.” Sean leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek as he squeezed her shoulder.
“I know.”
“I’d be underfoot anyway. Don’t you have another cooking lesson with Candice?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m proud of you for sticking with that.”
“If I burn one more pan, she’s going to give up on me,” she replied ruefully. “I tried to tell her it was helpless, but would she listen?”
“Hey, don’t talk like that. That chicken you made was pretty good and that rice wasn’t even hardly burned.”
She pursed her lips, refusing to acknowledge that Candice had actually left behind the chicken she’d brought as a demonstration of what the finished product was supposed to look like.
“Sorry, baby, but it’s that time.”
She glared at the alarm clock, as though it had betrayed them. “Honey…”
“I’ve got to go, babe. You know I do.”
“You’re right,” she sighed. “I know.”
“Good girl.” He hooked his finger under her chin and turned her to face him, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “Now, make sure you eat those eggs.”
“Sean…”
“I mean it. I’ll check the garbage can when I get home.”
“Ugh!” She rolled her eyes.
“Hey, I only say it because I love you.”
“I think I’d rather just hear the words,” she grumbled.
“All right then. I love you. See you later.”
“I love you, too. Have a good day.”
“I’ll be home soon.” He blew her a kiss from the doorway before he left. He gently closed the door behind him, probably thinking she’d go back to bed.
She considered it. A quick glance at the clock showed that it was only five-thirty in the morning. But when she turned the lamp off and settled back down against the pillows, she couldn’t seem to turn her mind off. All she could think about was Sean, but when she tried to stop, thoughts of Jarrod invaded her mind, which left her feeling squirmy and the tiniest bit guilty.
She didn’t want to think about him. Doing so only made her pulse pick up even as her heart constricted. The truth was, she hadn’t seen Jarrod since the night he and Sean had punished her. He’d just vanished, as though into thin air.
Well, that wasn’t true. She’d spotted him when she was pulling into the BX parking lot, and had even seen him running in the afternoon. He was across the street, and either he had been too far away to hear her call his name, or he just hadn’t chosen to answer.
And, much to her chagrin, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. It wasn’t all warm fuzzies, either. She just couldn’t understand why he’d do this. Why would he disappear on them and act like nothing ever happened? Something had, and she’d thought it was special and made them all closer than ever, but if Jarrod was pulling an invisible act then clearly he didn’t agree. Maybe he wished it hadn’t happened at all. Maybe he’d seen too much of her—maybe the sight of her disgusted him now. Or maybe he was embarrassed. Maybe he thought she thought less of him.
But that was so completely opposite of the truth that she wished he’d at least have given her the opportunity to let her explain. She wished he would have let her know what he was thinking, because as things stood now, she didn’t have a clue. All she could do was use her imagination, and that was never good for anyone.
She’d tried to talk to Sean about it. If anyone could get some answers out of Jarrod, he could. But unfortunately for her, that seemed to be the last thing her husband wanted to do.
“He just needs some space,” Sean had told her more than once. “He’ll come around when he’s ready.”
He’d suggested once that maybe Jarrod wanted to give them their space, since he’d just gotten home and all. But those were the only theories he’d offered—the next time he’d told her to drop it and stop worrying.
But she couldn’t stop. She wanted to, so very much. Part of her missed him so badly that it was painful. She’d never seen him on a daily basis, but she’d at least known the option was there. That she could, if she needed to. Well, she needed to now, only he didn’t seem to be interested.
And another part of her was pretty fricking pissed that he’d put her in this position in the first place. A place where she wondered and worried and fretted over it until she wanted to damn him to hell. But no matter how badly she wanted to be able to give up and not care anymore, she did. Damn him, she did. Every time she thought things were going well, she’d think about him and her good mood would come crashing down.
“Stop thinking about it,” she muttered to herself, turning over and t
rying to get comfortable. But she couldn’t stop. The minute she closed her eyes, he was there, waiting, smiling his familiar smile.
She wished he wasn’t being such a damn coward and would come over already. Or, that she wasn’t too much of a coward herself to invite him. And then there was Sean, with his casual it’ll-be-fine attitude. As if.
With a loud groan, Kaitlyn began to get out of bed. Might as well get an early start and tackle the laundry and dishes that she needed to get to today. She’d clean the whole house, if she had to, and maybe she’d get tired enough to sleep without any dreams—pleasant as they might be while she slept, they only left her feeling empty when she awoke.
* * *
Do you mind if I bring a friend with me today?
Kaitlyn eyed Candice’s text morosely. She still hadn’t gotten back to bed and since her cooking lesson started in only a little over thirty minutes, she didn’t see the point. She was enough of a bear when she didn’t have enough sleep—lying down just to be woken up again turned her into something mythically bad.
She typed a text in reply, silently praying that her friend would read through the lines and agree.
If we need to reschedule, that’s fine.
Candice’s reply came in the next several moments:
We’re on for today, there’s just have someone I’d really like you to meet.
Kaitlyn slumped in the chair and put her head on the table. So much for that idea.
Sure.
She ignored the phone when it buzzed again. She was sure that would only be Candice’s cheery reply. Even in print, she was happier than most people had a right to be.
She must have dozed off, because the next thing she knew, she was being woken by a knock on the door. The sound made her jump awake, startled, and the first thing she thought of was that her hair was probably a mess. Since it was impossible to get to the bathroom without going right past the front door, she checked her reflection in a nearby pan. Deciding that it would have to do, she put a smile on her face and walked to the door.
