51 Sleepless Nights

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51 Sleepless Nights Page 31

by Tobias Wade


  The air between us was intoxicating. I couldn't break away.

  "The last time I see you..." I managed. "It doesn't have to be today. It can be next year – or fifty years from now."

  "I have a job to do. How do you expect to find me again in fifty years?" she asked, a bemused smile playing about her lips.

  "That's easy," I replied. "I'll just never let you go."

  Despite all her tricks, I was stronger than her. I locked my hands behind her waist and drew her into me. I wasn't ready to die, but even more than that, I wasn’t ready to die alone. She seemed intrigued at first when I pressed my mouth onto hers, but then she started struggling. I held on even tighter, afraid that she would simply vanish the moment she slipped free.

  She couldn't love me. No-one could love me for long. Even if I somehow captured her fancy, I knew someone like her could only ever get bored with someone like me. Sooner or later she would leave me, and that would be the last time I ever saw her. That would be the day I die.

  She was fighting now. I could feel thrashing against me like a caged animal. All I could do was hold on tighter, dragging her from the building and into the darkness outside.

  I crushed her against me with all my strength until my arms went numb and my fingers bled from where they clasped behind her back. Each breath she took was shallower than the last, until finally her pale skin was bleached as white as bone.

  She wasn't lying about carrying a switchblade, but it was a lot harder than I imagined using that to separate her head from her body. I couldn’t work it through the spine, and was forced to simply peel back the skin of her face and take that with me instead.

  Now her face rests on the pillow to my left each night I lay down to sleep. It’s the last thing I see before I close my eyes. And if death were chance to steal me before I wake, then I know I will go in peace without the burden of dreams to follow.

  Each morning I rise on the right and turn away from it. All through the day I walk with surety, knowing I will not die before seeing her again. One night I will look upon her and it will be my time to go, but even then, I know I won’t be alone.

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  52 Sleepless Nights

  It’s dangerous to go alone.

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