Chapter 13
Charlotte Brandon waited nervously downstairs in the hospital lobby, staring at the reception desk and the vending machines that sold candy and coffee, as Alex went upstairs to see Amanda for the first time. The last report he had had when he called from the Carlyle was that she was doing better and she was a little less sedated, but now she was in considerable pain. Visits were not encouraged, but since Alex had come so far to see her, they would let him into the intensive-care unit, on the hour, for five or ten minutes, but no more.
And now Alex had vanished into the elevator as his mother sat numbly, watching the passersby. But the faces were all blank and unfamiliar as they hurried in and out of the lobby, carrying flowers, presents, shopping bags with slippers and bedjackets. Twice she had watched hugely pregnant women amble in slowly with tense faces, holding tightly to their husbands, who clutched little overnight bags in their other hands. Charlotte remembered with tenderness moments like that in her own life, but tonight she felt very old and tired and all she could think of was her grandchild, lying in a bed on another floor. And Kay had not yet been to see her. She was due in from Washington in a few hours. George had come in, of course, but he only checked the charts and spoke to the resident and the nurses and offered little comfort to the child.
George was really not the right man to be a father to his daughter in this circumstance. He was too uncomfortable with her feelings.
Mother? She jumped at the sound of Alex's voice speaking her name and turned to see the look of grief in his eyes. It struck fresh terror in her heart.
How is she?
The same. And where the hell is Kay?
I told you, she's in Washington, Alex. George called her immediately after the police called him, but she couldn't get away until tonight. It had been more than twenty-four hours since the nightmare had occurred. And Alex's eyes blazed.
She should be goddamn shot. And George, where the hell is he? The nurse up there says he keeps coming and going, just to check the charts.
Well, there isn't much else he can do. Is there?
What do you think? They both fell silent. He didn't tell her that Amanda had been sobbing so hysterically when he'd gotten there that they'd had to give her another shot. But as least she had recognized him, and she had clung so desperately to his hand. Just looking at him now, Charlotte Brandon's eyes filled with tears once again, and she sat down in one of the orange vinyl lobby chairs and blew her nose.
Oh, Alex, how do things like this happen?
Because there are crazy people out there, Mother. And because Amanda has two parents who don't give a damn.
Charlotte spoke softly as Alex sat down in the chair next to hers. Do you really believe that, Alex?
I don't know what I believe. But I do know one thing. Whatever Kay feels for her child, in her heart, she still has no right to be the one to bring her up. Even if she thinks she loves her and I'm not even convinced that she does she still has absolutely no idea of what's involved, no idea of what she owes that child as her mother. And George is just as bad. Charlotte nodded her head slowly. She had thought so before, but she had never anticipated anything like this. She looked into Alex's eyes, and she saw something there she had never seen before.
Are you going to do something about this, Alex? She had suddenly sensed it. It was as though she knew.
I am. He spoke with quiet determination.
What do you have in mind? Whatever it was, she knew it would be radical, and for Amanda's best interest. She had a great deal of faith in her only son.
I'm taking her back with me.
To San Francisco? Charlotte Brandon looked momentarily stunned. Can you do that?
I'm going to. Just let them try to stop me. I'll make the biggest stink you've ever seen, and see how my darling political sister enjoys that. He had Kay over a barrel and they both knew it. His mother nodded her head.
Do you think you can take care of her out there, Alex? It isn't as though she's had a skating accident. There are going to be emotional repercussions from all this as well.
I'll do my best. I'll get her a good shrink and give her all the loving I can. It can't hurt. And it's more than she has here.
I could keep her with me, you know.
No, you couldn't. He looked at her honestly. You're no match for Kay. She'd threaten you into letting her come back to them in a week.
I'm not sure of that. Charlotte looked only slightly miffed.
Why risk it? Why not make a nice clean break? San Francisco is a long way off.
But you'll be alone out there with her, Alex' . And then, as she said the words, she suddenly understood, and her eyes bore into her son's asking a silent question, as slowly he began to smile. He knew his mother well.
Yes? He had nothing to hide from his mother. He never had before. They were friends, and he trusted her, even with the secret of Raphaella.
This time Charlotte smiled too. I'm not quite sure how to phrase what I'm thinking. Your' er' young friend' the' uh
Good God, Mother! He chuckled softly. If you mean Raphaella, yes, I'm still seeing her. He didn't want to admit that she had just returned to him after two months of agonizing separation. He didn't want his mother, or anyone, to know that Raphaella had ever had doubts. It hurt his pride as much as his soul, but the fact that he was involved with a married woman, and one as well-known as Raphaella, was not a secret he would keep from her. His face sobered as he looked at his mother. We talked about all this last night, before I left. I think she could give a great deal to Amanda.
I don't doubt it, Charlotte sighed softly. But Alex, she has ' other responsibilities' . Her husband is a very sick man.
I know that. But they have nurses. She won't be able to be with Amanda day and night, but she'll be with us some of the time. At least he prayed that she would. And regardless of Raphaella, Mother, this is something I have to do for Amanda, and for myself. I won't be able to live with myself if I leave that child here with Kay gone all the time and George lost in the clouds. She's withering from the lack of attention. She needs more than they have to give her.
And you think you can?
I'm sure as hell going to try.
Well she took a deep breath and looked at her son I wish you well, darling. I think what you're doing is probably right.
Thank you. There was a mist in his eyes as he kissed her cheek and stood up. Come on, I'll take you home, and then I'll come back to see her again.
You must be exhausted after the trip. She looked at him worriedly, there were dark circles under his eyes.
I'm fine. And he was even more so a few minutes later as his mother opened the door of the apartment and the phone was ringing determinedly. Without asking permission to answer it, Alex pounced on it and then instantly beamed. It was Raphaella.
How is she?
The smile faded slowly as his thoughts reverted again to his niece. About the same.
Have you seen your sister?
Not yet. His voice hardened on the words. She's not coming in from Washington until tonight. At her end Raphaella looked shocked, but Alex couldn't see.
But you're all right?
I'm well. And I love you.
Raphaella smiled. So do I. She had missed him unbearably all day and had gone on several long walks. She had already been to his house twice. And it did not feel like intruding into the house of a stranger, it felt like coming home. She had carefully cleaned up all the debris from the Thanksgiving dinner and watered all his plants. It was amazing how naturally she felt herself fitting into his life. How's your mother?
Fine.
Give her my love. They talked on for a few moments and then Alex told her that he had decided to bring Amanda home.
What do you think?
What do I think? She sounded a little surprised to be asked. I think it's wonderful. You're her uncle and you love her. And then, shyly, Alex' could I could I fix up her room? He nodded slowly, thinking. He wanted to tell her to wait,
until they knew if Amanda would make it, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words. Instead he only nodded again, as though wanting to force the fates.
Go ahead. And with that he looked at his watch and realized that he had to get back to the hospital. Call me later, if you can. I have to go back. It was wonderful, her presence in his life now. No more silence, no more waiting, no more agony, or ghastly sense of loss. She was there as though she had always been and always would be. I love you.
I love you too, darling. Take good care.
He gently put the phone back on its cradle, and with a soft smile his mother quietly disappeared into the kitchen to make tea. When she returned a few minutes later with two steaming cups, she saw that Alex was already wearing his coat.
You're going back now? He nodded soberly, and without saying more, she picked up her own coat again. But Alex instantly stopped her. She had been at the hospital all night the previous night.
I want you to get some rest.
I can't, Alex. And when he saw the look in her eyes, he said nothing more. They each took a sip of their tea and went outside to hail a cab.
Chapter 14
He was looking down at Amanda from the doorway, and all he could see was the narrow bundle huddled in the white sheets and blue blankets on the bed. From the angle at which the girl was lying, Charlotte could still not see her face. But as she walked around the bed to stand next to Alex, she had to fight her own reactions so that they wouldn't show in her face. She had felt the same way again and again the night before.
What she saw before her was a tiny young girl who looked more like nine than seventeen, but only by her shape and the size of her hands and arms could one distinguish vaguely what was her sex and age. Her arms were mostly encased in plaster, her hands lay exposed and immobile, like two small sleeping birds, and the face that they looked at on the pillow was only a blur of swelling and bruises in purples and blues. Her hair framed her face like a soft curly halo, and the eyes that opened were of a clean, bright blue. They looked a little like Charlotte's, and a little bit like Alex's, but it was hard to tell now, they looked so anguished and rapidly filled with tears.
Mandy? His voice was a whisper, and he didn't dare touch even her hand now for fear that it would hurt. She nodded slowly in answer, not saying a word. I'm back, and I brought Grandma with me. Amanda's eyes went to her grandmother as two steady rivers of tears flowed into the pillow beneath her head. There was no sound for a long moment as the heart-rending blue eyes looked at the familiar faces, and then once again there were sobs as Alex gently stroked her hair. There was a communication between them that went beyond words, and Alex only stood there, his eyes gentle, his hand soft and smooth on the girl's hair. And in a moment Amanda closed her eyes again and fell asleep. A nurse signaled to them a moment later, and Charlotte and Alex left the room. They both looked exhausted and desperately worried, but in Alex's eyes there was a growing seed of fury for his sister, Kay. It didn't explode from him until they reached Charlotte's apartment, and when they did, he was almost too angry for words.
I know what you're thinking, Alex. His mother's voice was gentle. But right now it won't help.
Why not?
Why don't you take it easy until you can talk to Kay. You can get it all out of your system then.
And when will that be? When do you suppose Her Majesty will finally turn up?
I wish I knew, Alex.
As it turned out, it was the next day.
Alex was sipping coffee from a plastic cup, and Charlotte had gone home for a few hours to have a nap. They moved Amanda that morning out of intensive care into a little brightly painted pink room. And now she lay looking just as battered and broken, but there was something a little bit more lively in her eyes. Alex had been talking to her about San Francisco, and once or twice she had almost looked as though she cared.
It was at the end of the day that she finally spoke of her fears to her uncle.
What am I going to tell people? How can I explain what happened? I know my face is all messed up. One of the nurses' aides said so. They hadn't allowed her a mirror. And look at my arms. She looked at the two cumbersome plaster casts molded around her elbows, and Alex glanced at them but failed to look impressed.
You're going to tell them that you had a car accident on Thanksgiving. That's all. It's perfectly plausible. And then with a look of intense meaning he looked straight at Amanda and put a hand on her shoulder. Darling, no one ever has to know. Not unless you tell them, and that's up to you. But other than that, no one knows. Only your parents, your grandmother, and I.
And whoever reads the papers. Then with another look of despair at Alex, Was I on the news?
He shook his head in answer. No, you were not. I told you. No one has to know. You haven't been shamed. You're no different than you were before you came in here. You're the same, Amanda. You had a terrible accident, and horrible experience, but that's all it was. It didn't change you. It wasn't your fault. People won't respond to you differently, Amanda. You haven't changed. It was what the therapist had stressed to him that morning, that they had to insist to Amanda that she was not different now and that it was not in any way her fault. Apparently it was common among rape victims to think that they were in some way responsible for what had happened, and afterward to think that they had been altered in some major way. Admittedly in Mandy's case she was perhaps more altered than others. She had lost her virginity to a rapist. There was no doubt that the experience would affect her severely, but with treatment and a great deal of understanding, the psychiatrists felt that she had a good chance of coming out of it whole. His only regret, he had mentioned to them that morning, was that he had not been able to meet with Amanda's mother, and unfortunately Dr. Willard didn't have time for a consultation either, but his secretary had called to tell the psychiatrist to go ahead and meet with the girl.
But it's not just the victim in these cases who needs help, he had stressed to Alex. It's the family who needs help as well. Their outlook, their view of what happened, will color the victim's attitude about herself forever. And then he had looked at him with a small smile. But I'm awfully glad that you could talk to me this morning. And I'm seeing Amanda's grandmother this afternoon. And then he had added sheepishly the rejoinder that Alex had heard for most of his life. You know, my wife reads all her books.
But right now his mother's books were not foremost on his mind. He had also asked Amanda's doctor how soon she could go home, and he had said that he felt certain that she could be released by the end of the week. That meant Friday, if not before, which suited him perfectly. The sooner he got Amanda back to San Francisco, the happier he would be. And it was that that he was thinking of as Kay walked into the room, looking lanky and chic in a brown suede pantsuit trimmed with red fox.
Their eyes met and held for a long moment, and Kay said not a word. They had suddenly become opponents in the ring, and each one was aware of just how lethal the other could be.
Hello, Kay. Alex spoke first. He wanted to ask her how she could explain how long it had taken her to show up at the hospital, but he didn't want to make a scene in front of his niece. He didn't really have to. Everything he felt, all his fury, was easy to read in his eyes.
Hello, Alex. Nice of you to come East.
Nice of you to come up from Washington. Round one. You must be very busy. Amanda was watching them, and Alex saw her face go pale. He hesitated for only a moment and then he left the room. When Kay emerged again a few moments later, he was waiting for her in an alcove down the hall. I want to talk to you for a minute.
She looked at him with mock amusement. I figured you would. Such a nervous little uncle, coming all the way to New York.
Are you aware, Kay, that your child almost died?
Perfectly. George checked her charts three times a day. If things had gotten worse, I'd have come home. As it was, if it's any of your goddamn business, I couldn't.
Why not?
I had two m
eetings with the President. Satisfied?
Not really. On Thanksgiving?
That's right. At Camp David.
Do you expect me to be impressed?
That's your business. But my daughter is mine.
Not when you totally abdicate your responsibilities, Kay. She needs a hell of a lot more than just George looking at her charts. She needs love, for chris-sake, and tenderness, and interest, and understanding. My God, Kay. She's just a child. And she's been beaten and raped. Can't you even conceive of what that means?
Perfectly. But nothing I do now will change that. And two days didn't make any difference. She's going to have to live with this for a lifetime.
And how much of that time are you going to devote to her?
That's none of your fucking business.
I've decided otherwise. His eyes were like steel.
And just what exactly does that mean?
I'm taking her back with me. They said she could travel by Friday.
The hell you are. Kay Willard's eyes blazed. You take that child anywhere and I'll have you in jail for kidnapping.
You filthy bitch. His eyes narrowed as he looked down at her. As a matter of fact, my dear, unless you are fully prepared to answer to charges of child abuse, I wouldn't do a damn thing if I were you. Kidnapping, my ass.
What do you mean, child abuse?
Just that, and criminal negligence.
You really think you'd have a chance of making that stick? My husband is one of the most prominent surgeons in New York, a great humanitarian, dear Alex.
Fine. Prove it in court. You'd love that, wouldn't you? It would look sensational in the papers.
You son of a bitch. She had finally begun to realize that he meant it. Just what exactly do you have in mind?
Nothing elaborate. Amanda is coming to California with me. Permanently. And if you need something to tell your constituents, you can explain that she had a severe accident and needs extensive rest in a warm climate. That ought to do the trick.
a Perfect Stranger (1983) Page 13
