by Kate Benson
“Hmm…” I hum to myself, silently thrilled and terrified all at once. “Yeah,” I sigh, giving him an apologetic shrug. “Yeah, that really is too bad.”
“Maybe next time,” he says quietly, swiping his card and reaching for the small bag on the counter between us.
“Maybe,” I offer, my voice low and soft, guilt filling my chest as I see the slight twinge of disappointment in his eyes. He moves to step away from me, ready to say his goodbyes when I feel my bravery flare, something deep inside me promising regret the second I let Nate Foster slip away. “So, that’s it?”
“What?”
“You gave up pretty fast,” I tease, his eyes shifting toward mine, twinkling slightly in amusement when he finds my lips curling up on either side.
“Well, you shot me down pretty fast, too,” he counters with a smirk. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Fight for me. Chicks are into that kinda shit,” I confess, the memory of our conversation the night before in his mother’s kitchen quickly reclaiming us both. “What kind of pizza are we talkin’ here?” I ask, pulling the next customers items across the scanner as I glance over at him, waiting. “Because we’ve got three different kinds of French bread pizza on sale until Tuesday. You’re really going to have to pull out the big guns if you want to impress someone with options like those.”
His lips spread wide, his eyes crinkling slightly as he swallows a low chuckle only meant for me.
“French bread, huh?” he asks, pulling a nod from me.
“Yes sir,” I nod, pulling a few more items across the panel before I recite the total and return my eyes to his. “The real fancy kind, too. It only goes on sale like once a month.”
“Well, I’m not sure I can compete with that,” he admits, thinking carefully. “Sale’s on ‘til Tuesday, right?”
“Sure is,” I nod once more. “There are only about five more boxes back there, though. I’m honestly surprised you haven’t heard about it already. It’s all anyone can talk about around here.”
“That is risky,” he allows, rubbing his jaw in thought before he leans against the edge of the counter across from me, holding my eyes. “Okay, well how ‘bout this. You give me a shot tonight and if I can’t meet your expectations, I’ll come back in the morning and I’ll buy all five boxes and hand deliver them to you myself.” His eyes hold mine as I bite on my lower lip, faking my own deliberation long enough that he shifts on his feet, leaning closer. I get a deep whiff of his cologne and swallow hard as it takes over my senses, luring me on a more carnal level than anything bottled should be capable of. Jesus, he smells good. “I’ll even watch your girly show with you if you promise not to tell anyone.”
“Yeah?” I chuckle, my cheeks blazing despite my best efforts.
He gives me a nod as my eyes narrow slightly, my last-ditch effort at playing hard to get before I’m about to relent.
“Sounds like one hell of a deal if you ask me, honey,” the customer across from us cuts me short and I turn to find her ogling us, hanging on our every word before she nudges Nate’s arm. “I’ll tell ya what. This one says no, and you can come on over to my place, good lookin’.”
Her suggestive expression pulls a giggle from my chest and I turn to find him staring back at me triumphantly.
“Well, would you look at that?” he grins wide. “Seems like you’ve got yourself some competition,” he winks. “What’s it gonna be, sugar? Am I hanging with you or Mrs. Adelman tonight?”
“I don’t like anchovies or olives on my pizza,” I answer coyly as I hand my adversary her receipt and face him once more. “I’ll see you at eight.”
Chapter Ten
Nate
“Hi,” she smiles as she pulls the door open, her hair falling over her shoulder just so hiding her face from me before she tucks the stray strands behind her ear and steps back to let me in. She pulls the door open wider, surprised when I’m alone. “Where’s Rocky?”
“Next door with my mom.”
“Oh,” she replies, pushing the door shut and taking the pizza from me. “Well, you could have brought him.”
“Yeah?” I ask, pulling a nod from her.
“Of course,” she smiles, setting the box on the coffee table and stepping into the kitchen to grab plates before she returns. “I think this is actually the first time I’ve not seen him with you. You two are thick as thieves.”
“Yeah, he’s my dawg,” I joke, putting a smile on her face that warms my chest.
“G’s up, hoes down,” she replies with a chuckle, making me laugh along with her. “Sit,” she orders gently, gesturing toward the couch when she sees me standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room. “What do you want to watch?”
“I thought we were watching your marathon?” I ask, tilting the box open and pulling us each a slice of the deep dish she’d teased me about from the box.
“Gilmore Girls?” she asks, her eyes twinkling in amusement when I nod. “I was just screwing with you,” she smirks, reaching for a napkin and wiping her hands clean once she takes a bite. “I wouldn’t actually make you watch that all night.”
“Dammit,” I tease, leaning back onto the soft, worn couch. “I was excited to see what was going down with Lorelai and Rory.”
Her eyes go wide, her chest vibrating as she stares back at me, leaning against the cushions beside me.
“You actually watch it?”
“Nah,” I admit, shaking my head. “I’ve never even heard of it. I googled it on the way over to impress you.”
“Well, impressed me you have,” she replies, making me laugh as she reaches for the remote. “But we can watch something else. I’ve already seen them all anyway.”
We settle on something random she finds on Netflix, polishing off most of the pizza before the opening credits have finished. For the next two hours, we half-watch the movie and spend the rest of our time talking over the dialogue, our voices quiet in the darkness of her living room.
It isn’t long before the rain comes, the booming thunder just outside the window making her jump slightly and inadvertently scoot closer to me.
“You okay?” I ask, my voice low as I glance over at her, taking in the gentle glow of the screen across her features, admiring how simple her beauty is, even here in the dark.
“Yes,” she promises, her cheeks heating slightly with embarrassment. “Sorry, I just…” she glances out the window, the silhouette of the trees beyond the sheer curtains holding her eyes before she returns them to mine. “I’m not a big fan of thunder.”
“No?” I ask, making her shake her head. “I’ve always found it pretty comforting,” I admit. “What about it scares you?”
“Nothing really,” she shrugs, her thoughts drifting away once more before she shakes her head and tries to wave me off. “Bad experience, I guess. I’ll be okay, it just startled me.”
I can tell by her quiet tone, her withdrawn demeanor, that this isn’t a subject she wants to delve into. While I’m curious to know more, I think better of asking her. I know just about as well as anyone else that unwelcomed questions aren’t always appreciated and putting her in that position isn’t something I’m interested in doing. Besides, if she wants to tell me, I believe she will. If not, it’s probably none of my business anyway. A small shudder from her brings me back to the living room, pulling my thoughts back to her and I redirect my gaze to find her shivering beside me.
“Cold?” I ask, pulling a nod from her. “Well, come here then,” I whisper, gently tugging at the blanket on the back of her couch and wrapping around her shoulders before tucking her under my arm. “I can’t stop the thunder, but I can keep you warm.”
She’s hesitant at first, but it isn’t long until she relaxes, melting into my side and leaning her head gently against my chest. The action pulls a low hum from us both, my fingers on her shoulder slowly rubbing of their own accord and I let them. What’s more is so does she.
The movie ends a little while later, but we don’
t move. Instead, we talk about nothing, the darkness giving both of us courage we may not have found in the light before her voice begins to fade and I glance down to find her fast asleep against me.
I study her fragile features, the arch in her eyebrows, the subtle lines of her face and I’m suddenly overcome with need. The need to know her, the need to touch her, the need to keep her safe from whatever made her tremble only an hour or so before.
For now, though, I just need to keep her close. If I can keep her close tonight, I might be able to keep her close a little longer.
I’m not sure I knew that’s what I was aiming for when I asked her out this afternoon, but as I drift off to sleep beside her, I can’t think of anything I want more.
Ava
The next morning, I wake early to the smell of bacon and coffee, the aroma strong enough to pull me from my sleep. I’m surprised to find the sun bright outside the living room window, the tree limbs brushing against the glass gently as if I’d dreamt the entire storm the night before. The clank of a pan in the next room pulls me back to the kitchen, my eyes falling on Nate’s back as he moves easily in front of the stove, Rocky sitting patiently at his side. His tail wags as his eyes meet mine, but with the promise of bacon and his best friend only inches away from him, he doesn’t budge.
Can’t say I blame him.
Nate’s still wearing his clothes from the night before, his faded jeans hugging his ass just right as he lifts the front of his t-shirt up slightly to wipe his brow. I catch a glimpse of his toned abs and swallow hard, my cheeks blazing when he glances over his shoulder and a knowing grin plasters itself over his lips.
“Mornin’,” he says low, his voice deep and husky from lack of use.
“Good morning,” I reply, brushing my bashfulness to the side as I slip from my place on the couch and right my clothing, reminding myself of the reason I woke in the first place.
Coffee.
I join him in the small room, pouring myself a cup before I glance over to find his mug is also low. I take it from his hand and refill it, giving him a slow nod when he thanks me and lean against the counter beside him.
“Do you need any help?” I offer, prompting him to shake his head as I crouch down to give Rocky a pat on the head, smiling when he lies on his back and his eyes beg for a belly rub.
“No, ma’am,” he replies, gesturing toward the table across the room. “It’s just about done. Go sit down. Drink your coffee, wake up good.”
I smile softly to myself, struggling silently to brush off the alien feeling of someone making my breakfast for me. It doesn’t take much for me to be pulled into thoughts of my past, my old life. Before I know it, I’m threatened with images I’d promised myself I’d brush away the first chance I got.
“I don’t know what you’re busy thinkin’ on right now, but it doesn’t look good,” Nate says low as he sets a plate down in front of me and pulls my gaze to his. “And for what?”
“Huh?”
“You said you were sorry,” he explains. “What are you sorry for?”
“That I fell asleep on you last night,” I start, lifting my fork and appreciating the simple breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast he’s made. “And then for you having to make breakfast for me on your own and again for having drifted away into my thoughts.”
“Hmm…” he hums, taking a seat across from me, thinking for a moment as he holds my eyes, deliberating his words. “Well, it sounds to me like you keep saying you’re sorry for a whole lot of not-your-faults, darlin’,” he shrugs as he leans against the seat and offers a gentle smile. “You paid for all this, I’m eating, too, you hardly snore at all and I’m not a huge fan of too much talking first thing in the morning anyway, so I wouldn’t worry about it.”
I consider his words, taking in the playful yet underlying seriousness of his expression before I give him a shrug of my own.
“Well, when you put it that way,” I relent. “Thank you for breakfast and shut the hell up.”
His laughter is loud, booming even, as he takes in my playful words. I giggle low beside him, savoring in the ease of the moment.
“There she is,” he winks, warming my chest. For the first time in a long time, I feel comfortable in the company of a man outside my father. It’s new, it’s scary, but damn if it isn’t refreshing. “I like you.”
“Yeah?” I ask, pulling a nod from him as his laughter begins to fade.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good,” I smile, sipping from my coffee and leaning back in my seat, smiling easily when Rocky comes trotting over, curling into a ball between us on the linoleum floor. “You’re not so bad yourself, Nate.”
Chapter Eleven
Ava
“Ava? Is this…” a light bustle on the other end of the line interrupts her words before she returns, a light giggle on her lips. “Do I have the right number? I’m looking for Ava.”
“This is she. Who is…”
“Hey, this is Sam, Nick’s girlfriend? From the other night?” she cuts me off, pulling a smile to my lips almost immediately. “I’m sorry. This is the third number I’ve tried,” she admits, giggling once more. “I got your number from Nate when I stopped by the site and my phone was dead, so I had to go old school and write it on my hand, but the last number rubbed off against my steering wheel, so I wasn’t sure… anyway, I hope that was alright?”
“Yeah,” I smile broader, leaning against the counter beside the sink. “Yeah, that’s fine. What’s up?”
“Well, I know you’re new in town… well, kind of,” she reasons. I don’t have to see her to know she’s shrugging at her own words. “Anyway, I had fun with you the other night and thought I’d call and see if you wanted to get together this afternoon. I have to drive into Lumsford to pick out a dress for this thing we’re doing with Nick’s parents and I hate shopping on my own, so I could use a girlfriend to come with me. Are you free?”
I swallow the scowl falling over my face when I think about shopping, one of my least favorite things to do. I really despise it, but I also consider how friendly she was and Nate’s words about being holed up in my house too often. I’m weighing my options as I gaze over the kitchen when she cuts me off once more, reminding me of my manners.
“Come on. I’ll buy you lunch?”
“Sure,” I nod dumbly, knowing she can’t see me. “Yeah, that sounds like fun. When are you planning on going?”
“I can pick you up in twenty, thirty minutes?”
“Okay, sounds good. Do you know where I live?”
“Yeah, next to Nate’s mom, right?”
“Yes.”
“Perfect! I’ll see you soon.”
We hang up and I change quickly, the nervous sensation in my gut from the other night making another appearance, yet not as profound as it had been with Nate. Truth be told, as nervous as I’m feeling about leaving the house again for something outside of my typical shift, it’s also exciting to think about the possibility of making a new friend.
When I was with Eddie, I only had a few friends here and there and none of them lasted for very long. Even Meredith, the closest friend I made while I was in college, eventually grew tired of my dramatic relationship and all the last-minute cancellations I constantly had to make anytime we had plans. The longer I stayed with him, the fewer and further between they became until finally, they dissolved, taking the few friendships I’d managed to build right along with them.
I shake the thought and swallow the resentment years of misuse has caused to fester in my belly.
That isn’t my life anymore.
I’m many things, but under Eddie’s thumb is something I would never be again.
Sam arrives soon and within what seems like seconds, we’re in her car and heading toward the outskirts of our small town and into the next. Her radio is loud, belting out a trendy tune I’ve never heard and honestly, have no desire to hear again. I’ve always been more of a lover of the classics and a classic, this certainly isn’t. Howe
ver, I’m enjoying the freedom of the windows rolled down, the breeze blowing through my hair for what feels like the first time in too long.
We make small talk, getting to know each other and I’m pleasantly surprised with both how easy the conversation comes and how quickly we arrive into Lumsford. I haven’t been here in years, but even back in high school, this was the place to go when you needed anything more than the basics. For a teenage girl, and a grown woman for that matter, finding things in our small town can be a real pain in the ass.
Sam parks at the small shopping center and we make our way into the first of the many shops, drifting easily between them at a pace that honestly makes my head spin. I’ve never been much on shopping. Although I’d married into money and was expected to flourish in this particular aspect of my life, I never have. I always thought it’d be something I’d grow into eventually, but more often than not, I found myself grabbing the first thing that fit decently and calling it a day.
Today, though, it doesn’t feel that way. I’m not a completely changed person; there’s still a huge part of me that wants to go home and is looking for a way to get Sam to drive us back as soon as her credit card cools off. For the most part, however, I’m having a better time than I expected and keep convincing myself to just enjoy the afternoon.
Maybe it’s the fact that I’m not shopping for myself and maybe, just maybe, it’s the fact that I’m finally embracing the lack of hold Eddie has on my life now. Whatever it is, I love the simplicity that comes with just doing what I please for the first time in my adult life.
“Are you finding anything you like?” Sam asks, pulling my attention back to the racks she’s flying through without taking a breath.
“No, but I don’t really feel like I need anything,” I shrug, giving her a small smile. “I’m not a great shopper, but I’m glad I came with you. It’s nice to get out of town for a while for once.”
“Yeah, it really is,” she beams her reply, turning away from the rack and moving toward another. “I don’t think I’ll ever want to live anywhere else, but I sure enjoy sneaking out here a couple times a month to get my girl on, ya know?”
