Tamara had to fight doubly hard to maintain control. She hadn’t cried in her mother’s lap since junior high when the guy she liked rejected her and then read her diary aloud at school. But it had been a while since she’d opened up about her feelings for her mother’s judgment. So her kind, measured response touched Tamara’s sentimental nerve. She sniffed back a few loose tears.
“Look, I know how painful life can be, but these changes are wonderful. And I’m one hundred percent sure that Grant is there for you. Don’t let the doubts take over your mind or they will war with your soul. Protect that new love, child. Can I just say that it warms my heart to see my daughter so in love?”
Tamara hadn’t pinned a name to what she’d felt. Her feelings were like a roller coaster, with sudden highs and lows. Her thoughts about Grant swirled, pushing and pulling her reasoning apart. All she wanted to do was surrender to her heart because it most certainly had been captured and was being held hostage by Grant.
“Honey, before I wait any longer, there’s something else I must tell you.”
Tamara didn’t like the change in her mother’s tone, nor the serious, worried expression she had.
“I heard something among the young guys but didn’t know if it was worth mentioning.”
“What?” Tamara knew her mother was old-fashioned. She was probably going to tell on them for trash-talking or something like that.
“A couple of the guys were approached by a reporter.”
“What? When?” Tamara recalled Isabelle Vandusen’s bold comments. She’d checked with the guys the day after meeting her, but none of them had heard of her.
Her mother shrugged. “I didn’t get the impression that it was that long ago. Maybe yesterday or the day before?”
“Why would a reporter approach them? Because they work with Grant?”
“That’s what I thought.” Her mother looked thoughtful. “They mentioned that the reporter asked about their internship.”
“What did this reporter want to know?”
“She asked about the new game.”
“But the guys wouldn’t know about that.” Tamara tried to think ahead for motive. The guys weren’t in Grant’s inner circle to know details. Why use them?
Her mother shrugged.
Tamara pushed for more details. “Did they say anything else? Please try to remember.”
“Apparently the reporter offered them money. A couple of the older ones had been testing the game in the early stage.”
“Did they accept the money?” Tamara offered up a quick prayer, hoping that the guys hadn’t done anything unethical.
“I walked closer and they stopped talking.”
Tamara stood, inwardly cringing at what had to be done. “I have to tell Grant.”
“Maybe you should talk to the boys first. Make sure that they didn’t take money or say anything. Try to minimize the damage.”
“You’re right.” Tamara would love to rectify the situation and sweep it under the rug, if at all possible. It was possible that her guys hadn’t done anything. But once their integrity came under suspicion, then that cloud would remain over them forever. She knew the disastrous consequences of fear and suspicion. No way would she repeat the same mistake.
Chapter 14
By the time Tamara arrived home, she had contacted Stevenson to let him know she’d be at Miller-Brown early the next morning to talk to the guys. Emails had been sent to all of them, but as expected, the suspected ones didn’t respond. Meanwhile, the others tried to distance themselves from the situation by pointing fingers. She didn’t go into details, but Stevenson got the gist that the meeting was crucial.
“Will you come with me tomorrow?” Tamara asked Becky after she had revealed her mother’s earlier conversation. They sat on the living room floor cross-legged, a mirror image of each other.
“I’ll come, but you have to call Grant right away,” Becky protested.
“I do plan to tell him. It’s not like I didn’t mention Isabelle Vandusen to him. No one could find anything on her, if that was even her real name. But this is different.”
“How? Because it’s kids from the academy? This involves Grant, his company, his work. What is the problem?” Becky shook her head. “This is beyond ridiculous. Why are you sticking your neck out for these kids to this extent? I understand about the fighting, but this is taking it to a whole other level.”
“Don’t judge before you know all the facts.” Tamara didn’t need to hear the same message that intruded in her thoughts. “Just don’t.” Guilt churned in her stomach, always reminding her that she had judged with blind passion. The bigger picture had to be considered, not for her, but for the young men.
“If you don’t tell him, I will.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because you’re about to destroy what you have with Grant just to prove you don’t need him in your life. It’s all about your young men being used as the obstacle. And I like Grant. He’s a decent guy. You deserve each other, for goodness’ sake”
“You’ve got it wrong.” Tamara stood. “I said that I’d take care of it. And those guys are not going to be used as scapegoats by anyone, even you or Grant.” Tamara’s anger stiffened her spine like steel. “If you don’t like it, then we have problem.”
The threat hung in the air, locked and loaded.
Becky blinked first. “I just think that you’re losing perspective with these boys. You can’t save all of them. Your ego is getting in the way of your better judgment.”
“I’m going to damn well try. I don’t plan to give up on them. And I didn’t think you would.”
“I have compassion for them. You seem to have an obsession for them.”
Tamara hated when Becky spoke to her in that overly calm manner. It only made her angrier. “Some kids need a helping hand. And if we turn our backs on them, they face a bleak future. A generation behind bars will be our legacy.”
“Free will. They have to learn to make the right choices. You aren’t going to be around for the rest of their lives running behind them with your hands outstretched in case they fall.”
“Maybe by the time I can no longer catch them, someone will have stepped up to take my place in the community of compassion.”
Becky exhaled her exasperation. “I don’t get it.”
“And maybe you won’t ever. Here, I thought you would be the eternal optimist.”
Silence hung heavy, dark and clinging to everything. They had had minor skirmishes, as most best friends do, but this had the rumblings of a war. Tamara had drawn her line and stood by her convictions.
Becky grabbed her car keys. “I’m heading out.”
Becky’s criticism had stung. Maybe some distance between them would be best. Tamara bit her lip to stop from calling her back.
“You have one day to tell Grant. Or I’m going to tell him.”
“And then you can find a new job.”
Becky nodded. “And a new home.”
Tamara wanted to press the rewind button. Her fight wasn’t with Becky. How could this have gone so far? This wasn’t about sabotaging her feelings for Grant, either. No one understood why she was protective of the young men. Her obsession, as Becky accused, was a misnomer. She truly wanted the best for them and was willing to advocate on their behalf with every inch of her being. Trusting that someone else would care about their well-being didn’t come easy. This was the first time that her vocation had the potential to rip apart a personal relationship. But once her mother had shone a light on her true feelings, Tamara had felt a new sense of freedom.
* * *
The morning scurried along as if on its own mission. Tamara spent the early hours with the guys, asking them about the overheard conversation. Their honesty touched her to the point that she coul
dn’t hold back tears. Vandusen had contacted them, offering money for information. She’d laced her requests with outrageous promises. But not only had they refused her bribes, they’d turned the tables and followed her, taping her meeting with her boss—Vanessa Lord.
Tamara knew she had to get the information to Grant. But now that she’d recovered somewhat from the revelations, she wanted to pay her respects to someone who was always in her heart. She walked through the doors to the mausoleum. The interior was solemn but bright, catering to the surviving loved ones who visited and stayed awhile to search for peace. She took her usual seat in front of the nameplate of the young soul who had brought focus to her life.
DARTH DAWSON
For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. 1 Thessalonians 5:9-10
1977-2009
“Hi, Tamara,” said an older woman as she approached the nameplate.
“Oh, hi, Mrs. Dawson. How are you?” Tamara scooted along the seat to allow Darth’s mother enough space to sit.
“I’m doing fine. Here to wish Darth a happy birthday?” The woman’s hair had turned almost gray after her son’s death. Lines etched her forehead and cheeks.
Tamara nodded. “I wanted him to know that I didn’t forget.”
“I’m sure he knows, honey. You’ve been coming here for three years.” She placed her hand over Tamara’s. “It’s time to let go though.”
“I can’t.”
“You must. I know you mean well. Your heart is beautiful. But this isn’t your burden to bear.”
Tamara blinked back the tears. “I was so sure that I was doing the right thing. We organized and protested against him attending our university. We didn’t see him as a person. He was this ex-con with no heart and no feelings. We...I was so wrapped up with righteous indignation...” Tamara wiped away the tears angrily. “What if he had attended our school? He could have gone on to have a life, a family. I wasn’t doing what my parents would have done. There was no compassion in my actions—it was all just sheer ego.”
Mrs. Dawson held her hand. “Darth made bad choices early in life and paid his debt to society. He tried to get on the right path, but he couldn’t seem to outrun his past. So he turned to what was familiar.” His mother gave a weary sigh. “And this was the consequence. Nothing that you did.” She pushed up Tamara’s chin with her finger. “You can’t turn back time. I know about all you’ve done because of my son. I love you for it.” She lowered her hand and turned to the place where her son’s body resided. “This is one of those times, though, when you have to let go and let God take over.”
Tamara listened to everything she said. She’d heard the same admonishment from Becky before. She had to let go.
“Use what you know to inspire those kids in your academy. Teach them to be role models to those that come after them.”
“I can do that,” Tamara responded. She thought about the reporter and how easily her guys had drawn suspicion. She finally felt ready to head back out into the world and talk to Grant.
“Good.” Mrs. Dawson pulled out her Bible. “I’ll stay here for a while.”
* * *
Tamara got home to an empty apartment. As she walked through the large area turning on lights, she missed her best friend’s cheery greeting.
She dropped her car keys on the counter. Heck, she’d been missing Becky ever since she’d gotten serious with G-Dragon. Even in the off-again, on-again rhythm of that relationship, Becky dealt with the ups and downs with an ease that she envied.
Becky didn’t reach for perfection. She certainly didn’t spend all her time looking for the bad stuff. Living a life of blind optimism scared Tamara. But Becky’s confidence in life could teach her a lesson or two. She hoped that they could call a truce between them.
She sighed. Whom she really wanted right now was Grant. It was once their hyper-charged sexual encounters that could soothe, satisfy and stir her passion into a frenzy. Now, she wanted more and was willing to make her declaration not only to herself, but to him. She grabbed her keys and headed out.
Driving across town took less time than normal. With quick steps, she hurried to his door.
He opened it before she could knock. He was standing in his pajama bottoms, chest bared.
Tamara didn’t say anything. She pushed him into the house, wrapped her arms around him then kicked the door closed with her foot.
Tamara didn’t let go. She couldn’t let go. Feeling Grant’s body, hard and ready, pressed against her frame sent her senses into a spin.
Locked in his embrace, her head against his chest, she closed her eyes as she inhaled his smell.
In an effortless swoop, he lifted her. She looked into his dark eyes, sinking deliciously into their power, as if dipping into warm chocolate.
She could practically taste the sweetness of his kisses ravishing her neck and shoulders.
“I want you right here, right now.” His words were muffled with his mouth pressed against the mound of her breast.
“I’d have it no other way.” She meant every word.
She wrapped her legs around his waist, strapping in for the ride of her life. Her heart thumped in anticipation. Every part of her cried out for satisfaction. She had no doubt that Grant would pay up—big.
They spun, staggered and bumped against furniture until landing in a soft heap in a plush armchair.
She pinned Grant down, grinding her hips against his, anxious for the barriers of clothing to be gone. Her need for their naked skin to connect was primal.
She took Grant’s hand and directed it to her hip. He could have touched any part of her and she would have melted.
She guided his hand from her hip to her abdomen. Instead of calming the jitters, his hand encouraged the frenetic energy to swirl in the pit of her stomach and shoot off into and through each limb.
She inhaled sharply.
He raised up and kissed her abs, creating a hot trail of desire with his soft pecks. Tiny explosions went through her system with each touch of his lips.
Her fingers grabbed the sides of the chair to anchor her. Nothing held her head in place, though. Her neck arched back, pushing up her chest, where his mouth awaited as if ready to pluck her.
A soft swish of his tongue against her nipple caused an involuntary recoil. She slipped her hands around his neck to maintain her balance. Grant’s head landed against her breasts. They both moaned from the intensity of the moment.
He was hers and she was his. Every part of her responded to his attention with a heightened sense of anticipation.
Her body craved the chance to elicit a similar reaction from Grant.
His body shone with ripples of muscles across his chest and abdomen. Only a small wisp of hair sat in the middle of his chest, and a thin trail started below his belly button and continued south.
He kissed her neck. She wrapped her leg around his waist, drawing him as close to her body as possible. She unsnapped his pants and pushed them, along with his underwear, past his hips and down his long legs. His shaft stood out rock hard and ready. She gripped his butt cheeks, ready to pleasure him the way he’d done to her so many times.
Chapter 15
“Did you just use me?” Grant asked playfully as he stroked her back.
She nodded. Her head turned to the side. Her eyes were closed, revealing nothing.
But he knew her body so intimately that he knew she was hiding something.
He propped up on his elbow.
“Come on. Talk to me.”
“No. I’d like to remember this.”
“You say that as if we’re never going to do this ever again.” He kissed each of her shoulder blades. Her skin was deliciously warm
beneath his lips.
Already he was hard and wanted to continue from where they had left off.
“Why are you so kind?” She turned onto her back.
He couldn’t help soaking in the sight of her nipples perked and ready for the tasting...or maybe she was just as aroused as he.
Only one way to find out.
He slid his hand along her body down to her soft mound. His fingers played and discovered the telltale moisture that he was delighted to discover.
Her phone buzzed. He ignored it, continuing with his exploration. She slid away from him, reaching for the phone. Grant frowned. They’d never let anything interrupt their intimate time. Maybe she had to take the call.
“Will you be around later?” she asked, after a brief, cryptic one-sided conversation on the phone.
He nodded, not trying to hide his irritation.
“I’ve got to take care of something. But I promise that I’ll let you know what’s up.”
Grant gave another terse nod. He felt shut out that she wouldn’t or couldn’t share whatever was bothering her.
His mother had urged him to trust. In other words, he should allow one hundred percent access to his heart. He remembered her words: it’s what you do when you’re in love.
* * *
Grant set down the latest business innovator award given to Benson Technologies on the bookshelf that housed several others. In the company’s short history, significant milestones charted its national success. Now he looked forward to making its global footprint, first in Korea, then China and Japan. All the hard work, long hours, and cancelled dinners with Tamara weren’t in vain. Even her minidocumentary had been received with positive reviews.
The bad had a way of also galloping headlong at him. Competitors didn’t play nice and they had no problem tripping him up in any way possible.
The new game and game system were scheduled for launch the next day. Wednesday, hump day, seemed like the perfect time to shake up the gaming world. The marketing team and the advertisers had worked around the clock to make it happen. And yet he would be holding his breath until he got the public’s reaction. He knew that the guys held his same level of excitement for the game. But only after the gamers gave a thumbs-up would he relax and breathe again.
Passionate Game (Kimani Hotties) Page 16
