I smile at the thought of Dean and his handsome face. “I miss him,” I choke out, doing my best to hold back my tears. “I should have told Dean when he was here this summer. I was too afraid of losing him, even though he was the one who wanted more.”
“I would have given him whatever he wanted,” Becca says with laughter in her voice. “Dean is one hunky hockey player.”
“Tell me about it.” The corners of my mouth turn up slightly. “I miss having him in my life. It’s been hard without him.”
“Why don’t you go see him?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Well, then uncomplicate it. If you want to be with Dean and you want him to have a role in your baby’s life, then you need to make the next move.”
“First, I need to tell my dad and brothers about the baby. I want to see how they react before I tell Dean. Maybe I’ll fly out to Philly and surprise him for his birthday.”
“This time, you have to tell him. Don’t worry about how he will react. If you have to write it inside his birthday card, then do that. It would be better than not telling him at all.”
“Thanks, Bec. I guess all I needed was a kick in the ass.”
She flashes a wicked grin at me. “I will gladly kick you in the ass. Bend over and assume the position.”
I laugh. “I feel so much better talking to you instead of holding it all inside.”
“I can only imagine. You will feel a million times better once you tell your family and Dean. Go make a reservation for a plane ticket and schedule a call with your brothers.”
“I wish I didn’t have to do it over the phone.” I sigh. “Duke is going to have a stroke when I tell him.”
Becca pats me on the shoulder. “Good luck. Duke has one hell of a temper. I wouldn’t want to see it if I were Dean.”
“He likes Dean, even though he gives him shit. All my brothers do. My dad adores him.”
“Yeah, but how will they feel about him once they know he got you pregnant and then went off to play hockey in another city?”
“It’s not his fault. I never told him.”
“True but look at it from your dad and brother’s point of view. They will assume that he knew since Dean is your best friend.”
“It will look like he abandoned me,” I mutter, deflated.
“Uh-huh.”
“But Dean would never do that.”
Becca gets up from her chair and grabs both of our lunch trays. “We know that but do your brothers?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
As she walks away from our table to dispose of the trash, I wonder if she has a point. My family might not see things the same as me. The twins will feel betrayed by Dean. Duke will be angry that I proved him right. Austin will be upset that I was too afraid to tell him. But my dad will be the most disappointed of all.
Can I do this? Do I have the strength? I held off on making this decision for a reason. But was it even a good one? I guess it’s time to do the right thing.
With my entire family living in different cities, I had no choice but to schedule a meeting with them over the phone. When I was younger, we did this all the time. It was my father’s way of keeping up with our lives when he was on the road.
I sit on my bed, lift the receiver with a shaky hand, and call Austin first since his voice puts me at ease. Like Dean, Austin always knows the right things to say. Then, I conference in Theo and Tucker, who scream into the phone, followed by Duke and my dad. I saved them for last because telling them terrifies me the most. In some ways, I see Duke as an extension of my dad.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Dad yells into the phone as if he’s trying to talk over a crowd. “What’s up? I’m on the air in about thirty minutes.”
“I need to tell you all something important. Are you sitting down?”
“What did you do?” Duke growls.
“Why would you assume I did something wrong, Denny?”
He blows into the receiver, annoyed because he hates that I use his real name. “Sorry.”
“What I want to tell you guys is hard for me to say. Can you just let me get it off my chest without interrupting me?”
They all agree.
I suck in a deep breath and let it out. Nervous energy shoots through my body in waves, setting my skin on fire. Becca was right. The stress is bad for the baby. The more anxious I get, the more I notice him kicking me. It’s as if he can sense my moods and is upset along with me.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt out.
Relief washes over me now that I have gotten my secret off my chest.
“You’re what?” Dad says. “Did you say you are pregnant, Kat?”
“Yes, Dad. I am pregnant. I wanted to tell all of you in person, but our schedules never line up.”
“Are you sure? Did you go to the doctor?” Dad asks.
“Yeah, Dad. I’m having a boy.”
“How long have you known?”
“Seven months,” I admit.
“Honey, why would you keep something like this from us?” He hesitates for a second, this time with excitement in his voice. “You’re having a boy? I will be a grandfather.”
What is he not angry with me?
“I’m sorry, Dad. I should have told you.”
He doesn’t answer, or at least not that I can hear over my brothers.
“I’m coming home to see you, Kat,” Austin says. “I can take you to your appointments.”
That was always Austin’s job. What I wouldn’t give to have him home with me now. Always the calm and level-headed one, Austin is the brother I should have told over the summer. But he would never keep a secret from our father. It would have eaten him alive. He was always a terrible liar.
“Who is the father?” Duke says with anger in his tone. He sounds like Bruce Banner getting ready to turn into the Hulk.
“Yeah, who’s the father?” The twins say in unison.
“Do you guys promise not to flip out?”
“No,” Duke says.
“Okay,” the twins add.
“I haven’t told him yet.”
“Kat, who is the father?” Austin says. “Just tell us. We won’t get mad.”
“Dean,” I say. My voice is almost a whisper.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Duke sounds as though he’s grinding his teeth as he speaks. “All this time you tried to convince me that you weren’t fucking that asshole and then he knocked you up and leaves you to deal with a baby by yourself?”
“He didn’t leave me, Denny. Dean doesn’t even know.”
“You and Dean?” Theo sounds confused.
“Really?” Tucker adds. “So, you guys were together that whole time?”
“Are you two that fucking clueless?” Duke yells so loud my eardrum hurts.
“Knock it off, Duke.” Now, Dad is pissed off. “Don’t talk to your sister and brothers like that.”
“Sorry, Dad, but this is bullshit.”
“Kat, I will be home in a few days,” Dad says.
“Me, too,” Austin says. “I can stay overnight on Saturday.”
“Please don’t say anything to Dean. Any of you. I haven’t had a chance to tell him yet.”
“I don’t even want to talk to him,” Tucker says with anger in his tone.
“Me neither,” Theo says. “I can’t believe he did this to you. To us. What a dick.”
“He didn’t do anything to any of you. This is between Dean and me. Okay? Just let me handle it.”
“He’s dead the next time I see him,” Duke says.
“Denny, please don’t do anything.”
“I can’t make that promise right now, Kat.”
I lay my head back on the stack of pillows on my bed and close my eyes. Maybe they just need to time to process everything. It had taken me months to come to terms with my new life. Now, I have to muster the courage to tell Dean.
Chapter 20
Five months after the NHL Draft
Dean
For o
ur first matchup against the Capitals, I have the pleasure of playing against Duke Baldwin. He’s a bruiser, a big guy, and the one player on the ice you don’t want to mess with unless you have a death wish. Known by everyone in the NHL as a Baldwin Beatdown, Duke has made a reputation for himself for his highlight reel knockouts. As the enforcer for his team, fighting is Duke’s specialty.
Some of the guys on my team were going over their strategy for playing against Duke. I should be concerned. But I’m not.
After our defenseman intercepts the puck, he passes it to me, and I take off down the ice. Well aware of Duke and his proximity, I skate faster, glancing over my shoulder when I reach center ice. I switch the puck to my weak side, keeping it away from Duke’s blade. But he’s good at getting me to do what he wants because my failed attempts to dodge Duke send us crashing into the boards.
Instead of reaching for the puck, he pulls the gloves from his hands and throws them on the ice along with his stick. His actions take me by surprise, removing me from my element.
Does he want to fight me?
Before I have time to prepare myself, Duke grabs me by the collar of my jersey. “You are mine, asshole” he breathes against my cheek.
I attempt to skate away, still in possession of the puck, before one of his teammates come up from the side and steals it from between my legs. Those in attendance at the Capital One Arena come to a standing, waiting for Duke’s next move. He has the appeal of a wrestler putting on a show. I wriggle free from his grasp, but only for a few seconds. Duke slams me into the Plexiglas, as if I weigh nothing, causing me to lose my balance.
With a firm grip on my collar, Duke tugs hard enough that I fall backward and into his chest. I give him a shit-eating grin that he returns with his jaw clenched in anger.
“This is for Kat and Noah,” he growls into my ear. “You fucking scumbag.”
“Who’s Noah?” I choke out, my face twisted in anger.
“Your son.”
My son?
“What are you talking about?”
“You knew. Don’t fucking lie.”
My jersey slides up my back, as Duke slams my face harder into the Plexiglas. I spin around, still struggling to break free from his grasp, when Duke hits me with a right hook to the jaw, followed by a jab that forces me to the ground. But he doesn’t loosen his grip, not even for a second.
“Kat is pregnant with your kid. Don’t act like you didn’t know.” Bending over me, Duke lands a few more punches that bloody the ice, before two linesmen grab him by the arms.
In shock, I sink to the ice, in pain from the hits I took from Duke and numb from the news about Kat. Is she pregnant? And with my son? I don’t know what hurts worse—my jaw or Kat’s betrayal.
The cheers from the crowd grow louder, as Duke fights the linesmen off with an elbow, and when I least expect it, he knees me in the face. The blow to my face causes my body to go limp as I fall backward and onto the ice. Before my eyes close, I watch Duke throw his hands up in victory, about to turn and face the fans, when his fist collides with the jaw of the linesman behind him.
The team doctor comes over to check my vitals and shine a light in my eyes. Some of my teammates are circling us, hoping to get a clean shot at Duke. His teammates skate around them to block the other players, even though he doesn’t need them to shield him. The last player who hit a linesman lost months worth of pay and earned a hefty suspension.
I hope fucking up my face was worth it, asshole.
As the officials escort Duke off the ice, I get help from the doctor and my teammates, who pull me up from the ground. What a low blow for my first year in the league. That fight will be on every highlight reel for weeks to come. What concerns me most is what he said about Kat…and our son.
How could she hide something like that from me, of all people? We share everything with each other. I want to believe that Duke misunderstood and that he’s delusional. Kat owes me an explanation for my face, this fight, and our baby.
After the swelling went down over my eye and I could see enough to drive, the team doctor had given me the okay to leave the building. I dialed Kat’s number several times, each time getting her voicemail. I left her a handful of angry messages that she still hasn’t returned.
Why is she avoiding me? There must be some truth to Duke’s words. I bet she even watched the fight on TV. She never misses my games.
When I walk into the hotel, the doorman stares at my face and taps me on the shoulder. “Good game, son. Better luck next time.”
I wish I had something clever to say like, You should see the other guy, but I never had a chance against Duke. He took me by surprise and stunned me with his words. My lack of reaction is the reason my face feels like Duke rearranged it into tiny pieces.
I nod and flash a closed-mouth smile. It hurts too much to make any sudden movements.
Once I’m inside the elevator, I suck in a deep breath and let it out. The ride up to my floor intensifies the spinning in my head, forcing me to hold onto the wall until the doors open. I stagger toward the end of the hall and dig the plastic room key from my pocket.
A few seconds later, I push open the door to my suite and drag myself into the bathroom. Tiled from floor to ceiling in white marble, hotels like this are becoming the norm for me, even though I am out of my element. When I was a kid, my mom almost never had money to take us on vacation. The closest we had to a trip was a two-hour car ride to the beach.
Now, I’m staying in places that have anything I could ever dream of right at my fingertips. I remove a washcloth from the basket in the center of the double sinks and run it under cold water. My cheek has a few cuts, the skin already starting to darken.
How could Kat do this to me? I trusted her with my life. And she betrayed me.
Why won’t she answer her fucking phone?
Staring into the mirror, I lean my palms on the edge of the sink and take a good look at my face. I never liked Duke. Now, I have a real reason to hate him. He was always right about Kat and me.
I drop the towel on the counter and check my cell phone one more time. Nothing. Four years of friendship should entitle me to at least a courtesy call. I strip off my clothes and turn on the shower, allowing the steam to envelop around my head before I get inside the oversized stall. The water causes me to wince every time it hits certain bruises on my face, the pain a constant reminder of tonight. So, I turn around and allow it to pour down my back.
I doubt I will even sleep after everything that happened on the ice. We have another game tomorrow night. All it would take is an accidental tap to reopen my cuts. The doctor refused to let me leave until he got the bleeding down to what he considered a reasonable amount.
“I’m a hockey player,” I told him, “I’ll just rub some Vaseline on it and get back on the ice.” The doctor wasn’t too thrilled about that response. It hurt like a bitch when I laughed. My coach didn’t agree with me either. So, I had to sit out for the rest of the game, all because of Duke fucking Baldwin.
After I fill the entire bathroom with steam, I turn off the water and get out, wrapping a towel around my waist. A bell rings, the sound echoing throughout the suite.
What kind of hotel room has a doorbell?
I laugh to myself on the way to answer the door, but even that fucking kills. The slightest movements in my jaw send a tremor up to my ears.
I grip the handle and swing the door open, forgetting that I’m still in a towel, but not giving a fuck.
“Hey,” Kat says, biting her bottom lip. She has her hands resting on her stomach.
My mouth drops open in shock, causing me to reach up to cup my face from the pain. I shake my head at her in disbelief. “It’s true.” I can hardly get out the words. “How could you?”
“Can I come in? I need to talk to you.”
“I can’t…” I take a few steps back, the room spinning around me.
“Please, Dean. I’m so sorry.”
“For what? Sending Mike Tyso
n after me or for hiding our child from me.” I try to shut the door in her face, and Kat pushes her way into the room.
“I never meant for any of this to happen.”
I turn my back to her and walk into the living room. “Get out, Kat. I can’t do this tonight.”
“But I’m your best friend.”
I spin around to face her, my teeth clenched in anger. “Don’t use that line on me. We’re not…we’re nothing.” My chest hurts from all the pressure building up inside. The lack of oxygen to my head forces me to hold onto the arm of the couch.
“Dean, c’mon.” Kat inches toward me. “Don’t act like this. I messed up big time. I know that.”
Instead of staring at her face, all I can focus on is the massive baby bump. My baby. As my skin grows hotter, the tension in my chest intensifies, knocking me on my ass. I sink into the soft fabric and grip the cushion for dear life. I lean forward, hoping it will help me catch my breath. “Call the doctor,” I tell her, staring down at the floor.
She comes up next to me and clutches my bicep with her tiny hand. “You’re having a panic attack. Control your breathing. Everything will be okay.” Kat sinks to the floor in front of me, holding my arm with one hand and her stomach with the other.
Duke was telling the truth. The more I think about Kat, the baby, and all of her lies, the harder it is for me to listen to her voice, as she tells me to take a deep breath.
Chapter 21
Five months after the NHL Draft
Kat
As I watched Duke beat the shit out of Dean on TV, I wanted to jump through the screen and murder my brother. I wanted to tell Dean in person. Duke knew that I booked and confirmed my plane ticket for this weekend. What a fucking jerk. Even the twins had kept their distance from Dean so that I could be the first to tell him. Well, I think the twins are pissed at Dean for not telling them about our secret relationship. They need longer to process the news of the baby.
More than Friends Page 13
