by Pamela Ann
I knew she did…but I hadn’t…I’d been waiting for this day. “Open your eyes.”
Her eyes widened when she found me on one knee, holding out a ring. I was smiling at her, so full of love; I could combust with it all. Yet, instead of smiles, she was on the verge of tears. Beside herself with joy or fear, I couldn’t tell which.
“Against all odds, you and I are still standing here, fighting to be together. Your bravery to stand beside me amidst all this gutting chaos touches me to no end. I had never doubted your love for me because I feel it each time your gaze catches mine.” I swallowed the lump of nervousness that was stuck in my throat. “I’ve come to a full circle, Emma, and that circle starts and ends with you. I want to keep you… forever, with you by my side, fighting against all the odds as my wife. I want to be forever yours. Eternally make you mine, but as your husband. Your partner. Your heart… and your home.”
“Bass—” She sniffed, big fat tears rolling off her face. “I love you so much!” She knelt with me, capturing my lips with fervent kisses. “Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!”
Chapter 9
Emma
My heart was swelling with so much bliss. Bass proposing to me, asking me to be his wife—his home—I was consumed by effervescent happiness. I was laughing, crying and screaming all at once. My eyes were so blurry with tears that I couldn’t even see him sliding the princess-cut diamond rock on my finger.
“I love you, Emma Anderson.”
I was sniffing and grinning while he wiped my tears away with his thumbs, smiling down at me with such tenderness in his eyes. I knew this guy was going to love me forever because not even Carter looked at me like I was the most beautiful, sacred, precious thing that he’d ever seen.
“I love you so, so much,” I said breathlessly before his lips conquered mine. Our kiss melded with the tears, laughter and ultimate bubble of happiness of being engaged to each other had brought.
It seemed a lifetime was how long we stood there kissing. At that moment, I didn’t think it was more possible to feel like I was a part of Bass—coming together not in a sexual aspect, but in a spiritual sense. I was bucket loads in love with the man, and I thought this simply exorcised my insecurity about everything with his proposal. Yes, the old, confident self was emerging and I was truly grateful for that.
It didn’t take long until we were both stripped naked, ready to consummate our new level of trust and love.
My main goal was to please the man that brought me so much love. I was about to get on my knees and please him like he wanted it usually, but he was quick enough to get a hold of my arm and stop me from going south.
“Not tonight—this is not about me, but about us.” His fingers were busy pulling and tugging my aroused nipples while his lips and tongue teased my neck and ear. “Make love to me like you’re giving me your soul, Em. I want to feel you give it to me.”
Bass didn’t do slow loving much, but tonight, it seemed that his goal was to cherish every single part of me. Even in this pace, his cock felt powerful while it adamantly took control of me. The intensity of his gaze and the electrifying way he was making love to me brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to hide it, but those intense blue eyes captured each reaction he evoked in me.
“Emma,” he whispered, sliding in and out of me with precise strokes as his lips left a kiss on each of my lids.
When our eyes met again, we gazed at each other while I bit my bottom lip trying to hold back my moans. My tears trickled to the sides as I let out a moan that bordered on a scream when Bass cupped both of my ass cheeks, spreading me wider, before he started to ground his hips severely. The tip of his dick stroked against my g-spot acutely with harsh intent. My tears were as full blown now as my lip biting was.
“Set it free.” His lips barely brushed against mine, panting wildly as he geared to bring us to a complete exaltation. “Surrender it to me, moro mou,” he gasped, thrusting with fervent ferocity.
My body was shaking, sweating, aching as I reached for his face, bringing it down to mine before our lips met and sealed our destiny. I sobbed his name while he bellowed mine as we came together. Our complete surrender felt like I was being lit up on fire and being set free at the same time. Never had I known this feeling of being exposed as though all of my layers were shredded off and I had nowhere to hide. I was naked, bared open solely for one man to see what was inside of me. It was raw, primal, and at the same time, I felt the magnitude of the love behind all.
Bass didn’t only make love to me physically—he had also acquired my soul in the process.
There was no part in me that didn’t feel his love. My body had been worshipped. My heart was overflowing with his affection. My soul swelled with his devotion. His name was now emblazoned on me; I simply had no place to hide and cower. Bass simply didn’t plant himself in, he made sure he was rooted deep-within to the point where it would be impossible to yank away.
“Shhh, it’s okay.” He kissed my forehead. His hands brushed the strands of hair that were wet with my sweat away from my forehead.
I was still balling my eyes out for reasons that baffled me. Complete happiness was fizzing in my system, and yet, for the life of me, I couldn’t stop tearing away. “I love you,” I choked up, feeling like an idiot—well, a beloved idiot.
Bass placed my palm against his stampeding heart. “You’re in here, my love. No one will ever take your place. My heart only ever knew you and it will forever stay that way.”
After my tears dried up, we both cuddled and enjoyed the silence enveloped in each other’s embrace.
My thoughts were now zipping in and out of my brain, juggling one after the other, hoping that my engagement wouldn’t bring others pain. I knew it would be wishful thinking, but I just wished that there wouldn’t be a person out there that would wish us ill.
“Babe, would it be okay if we keep the engagement to ourselves for a little bit? I need to figure out a way to tell my friends and family without them freaking out. We haven’t been dating long—I just don’t want to give my dad a heart attack is all.”
Bass lets out a breath. “We’ll do whatever you think is best for you.” He sought for my hand and held it close. “I’m with you all the way. I trust whatever you choose to do.”
After making love, we stayed on the patio and waited for the sunrise. Then afterwards, we went indoors, slept for a few hours and got up to head out to meet Trista, Taylor, Amber and Lindsey in Disneyland. It was fun and all, but at times Lindsey was way too catty towards Amber, which made other instances beyond awkward.
Bass got a party in Disneyland, fireworks and all. Supposedly, he wanted to tell our friends that we were engaged here, but since our conversation last night, that plan got the red light.
That night we partied with our friends, keeping our engagement to ourselves while we fought to stop kissing whenever we could because people around us were getting sick from the very sight of us.
Bass had plans to take everyone to Cabo San Lucas the following day, however I managed to convince him that I wanted to spend our Sunday together, alone, and with no one around us. I knew he was going back to work soon, so I wanted to be selfish and kept him for myself.
I never thought I would see myself, nor did I imagine that I would ever become, a clingy and needy woman. However, after weeks of denial, it was blatantly obvious that yes, I had become that very nightmare I once strived not to be.
They did say never say never.
Lesson learned.
~E~
A soft tingle on my cheek made wake up. When I parted my eyes open, Bass was sitting on my side of the bed, looking down on me.
“I have to go and catch my flight.” He pulled my hand from the comforter and kissed the tips of my fingers.
My head cocked to the side to check the time on the side table. It wasn’t even six in the morning. I knew he was leaving today, but I was expecting to share breakfast with him at least. After the weekend we’d had, I sure knew that thi
s week was going to creep by extra slow for me.
“Thank you for giving me the best weekend of my life.” I pulled his lips against mine, kissing him slowly. “I can’t wait to be Mrs. Bass Cole.” Can’t wait? I was hysterical and couldn’t stop daydreaming about my wedding. Not to mention little Bass Cole babies! Ugh. I was sick with giddiness!
“Why don’t you check your calendar and we’ll match it with mine? So we can roughly know which day and get this thing going. You’re not going to get cold feet on me, are you?”
Was he on crack? Hell no. “Never.” My arms wrapped around his neck, hoping to get more of him. “Do you have any room for a quickie?” I tried to cajole his determined face.
He sighed, nuzzling my cheek. “Can’t—Lou’s downstairs waiting for me.”
“Damn. Maybe next time.” Man, I could feel my heart sinking. It was goodbye again…for now.
Bass gave me a grateful smile, knowing how much I would ache without him. “I promise to make your sexual fantasies come to life the next time I see you.”
I really didn’t want him to go, though I had no choice. One look at his face made me do a fake cheer up. The last thing my man needed was seeing me all sad. He was already leaving with a heavy heart; I didn’t need to make him feel guilty for having a job that required him to shoot films in another country.
“Hmmm, maybe I’ll make yours, too, BC.” My small, teasing made him grin, smiling down on me in a way that seriously made my heart skip a beat. He was so gorgeous, and the man was all fucking mine to have, conquer and feast over and over again.
“God, I love it when you get me hard by your eyes alone, you wicked woman.” For the last time, he kissed me thoroughly, eliciting the fire within me, but it was stopped too short. “Keep me in your heart, Emma.”
“Keep me in yours, Bass.”
With another toe-curling smile, I watched as he exited our bedroom. I remained where I was, unmoving as my ears perked up to the sound of him moving, descending down the stairs, to the entry hall and out the front door. When I heard the car engine being fired up, I closed my eyes and made a silent prayer to keep him safe and away from harm.
It’s another day without him…I thought with a heavy heart.
Driving back to SB was a drag simply because I didn’t want to leave the bed where it smelled of Bass, yet unfortunately, I had to return to reality. Filming didn’t start until five weeks from now, and since I was now resorting to submitting my assignments online and keeping my teachers in progress with my studies, I had more time to dedicate for volunteer work before I left to shoot in Chicago.
After this weekend, I had a lot of things to ponder about. It was basically sorting out the least and the best choices to make.
The next day, I made a call to Barbara and told her that I didn’t want to do the GQ shoot anymore. Don’t get me wrong, the opportunity was great, but I think it would be best if I skipped this one. Was the engagement a part of the decision making? A big fat yes, and also, I wanted to lay low for a bit. Since the media wasn’t warming up to me anytime soon with Nikki’s pregnancy hovering in the background, I’d rather focus on building my career from making movies instead of doing it by being in the media spotlight.
I didn’t like the attention, however it came with dating Bass and being in the movie industry. What they said about me and why I wasn’t “clinging” to Bass were very hurtful. How could they print those articles thinking that they knew me?
Now, with Nikki’s ultrasound looming for next week, the very thought alone started to gnaw in my gut. I was scared that Bass might love the baby the second he sees him or her. I mean, there was nothing wrong in that—no, not in particular. What I’m most afraid of was Nikki using that feeling to her advantage. Knowing how manipulative she’d been after finding out about her pregnancy, the bitch was going to take every reaction Bass was going to make and make them her best weapons. Making him fall for the baby was her top priority.
I hoped that he wasn’t going to fall for her antics. God knew what would happen to us if he did.
“What are you doing in here sulking as you drink coffee and stare at the beach?”
“Nikki,” I blurted out, still staring ahead, not glancing at Amber. From my peripheral vision, I saw her sit on my left, placing a linen pillow on her lap.
“I’m thinking of moving out.” Amber announces with hesitation, like she had thought about it for quite sometime now.
That made me look at her; my attention solely focused on the troubled woman next to me. “What? No!” I interjected. “You guys can still fix this.” They better fix it because they shouldn’t let a man come in between their friendship, even if the man in question was Brody Thompson.
Amber looked defeated. “How? She won’t even look in my direction. You know how she is. She’s probably going to hate me until she’s in her grave.”
Would Lindsey be that harsh? Damn. “She loves you.” I reached out and squeezed her arm to give encouragement. “Lindsey’s just—you know…” my voice trailed off, not sure what to say.
Fortunately, she knew our friend well enough that I didn’t have to elaborate. “I know. That’s why I think moving out is the best solution.”
If she moved out, the rift was going to get bigger; they had to talk before it came to that. There must be a way to fix things? “If we can get you guys in the same room and talk it out, maybe it’ll help,” I lightly suggested, hoping she had brighter ideas.
Amber snorted before shaking her head. “Like she’d do that. She’s probably going to kill me anyway.”
“You’re afraid of her?” The thought had never crossed my mind.
“Fuck, yeah, she’s crazy.” She grinned, flashing those beautiful amber eyes at me. “But I would never admit that to her face.”
It was no secret how passionate our dear Lindsey could get, although sometimes you had to make allowances for the people you love.
For a long while, we both stayed silent as we watched people stroll by, jogging and spending time together. My thoughts were about them and how they got to this point. “So, was it worth it?” I finally murmured, not glancing at her.
“What was?”
My sight focused on the family trio that had the father, I was assuming, pushing the stroller, laughing at something the woman next to him was saying. “Brody, I mean.” I was talking to Amber, but my eyes were now zeroing in on the small family, seeing Bass and Nikki in my mind.
Dammit. I hated it when this stupid jealous attack happened at the most inconvenient times.
“It was before…I don’t know. He isn’t even talking to me.” Amber pierced through my fog, getting my attention again, somewhat. “He’s still heartbroken from Lindsey.”
“You love him,” I stated as a fact.
Amber picked on her cuticle, deep in thought. “He’d never see it,” she sighed, voice laced with sadness. “He never did.”
Poor thing was suffering from unrequited love. Competing for Brody’s attention amidst all those women flinging themselves at him—and to top it off with Lindsey—was going to be more than difficult to achieve. “Maybe it’s time to move on.”
She didn’t respond to that at first, yet when she did, the words that she spoke were simply unexpected. “You should let Carter do the same thing.”
Carter. One major problem that I had yet to face. Could I do it, hurt him like that? I wished he would be the one who freely chose to move on and not me, as he was pushing me to do. It was worse that way. “I told him to.” At least a hundred times, I tried to convince him. “But he’s not letting go.”
“Tris and I have a couple of women lined up for him. You don’t mind, right?” she asked, showing how much they all cared for him, or maybe they also didn’t want any more drama with me bouncing back and forth. I wasn’t that predictable when it came to Carter, or was I? And as for him starting to see other women, did I care or mind? Well…
I didn’t… “Why should I? I’m with Bass.”
Ambe
r stared at me for a long time then shrugged. “Bass is a great guy; if I had to choose between him and Carter, I’d choose him. Carter’s hot, Em, and we love a bad streak in a guy once in awhile, but to find a guy to love you and remain faithful to that love is hard to find. Bass never looked at a woman when you guys were together. And let’s face it, would you put faith in a guy who cheated on you with an orgy? Or with a man who looks at you like you’re the only one he sees?” She sounded like she wanted to drill the words in my head. “Bass had a playboy reputation, but man, that guy is so all-in with you, doll. Each time I see him look at you, it makes me not want to give up on love.”
I never realized that Amber was such a passionate woman. This was a side that was rarely on display. “Maybe you shouldn’t give up on him then.” If she truly loved Brody this fiercely, then maybe giving up wasn’t the best solution. I mean, what did she have to lose at this point?
“I’m never going to be Lindsey in his eyes.”
Seriously? She was only insecure when it came to Brody. She was gorgeous, why try to be someone else you’re not? “Then don’t try to be. Just be you—Amber, the amazing woman who loves him—even if he doesn’t see how much it hurts to keep loving him from afar.”
“I’ll think about it,” Amber said, getting up. She stood, giving the beach a good sixty seconds before she spun around and gave me a fierce hug. “Thank you for listening, doll.” She kissed my cheek. “I’m here, too, if you need someone.” With a flash of her smile, she bounced back upstairs to get ready to go out with some new school friends while I remained in living room, full of crap in my head.
I was on my third sigh when my phone beeped with a text message.
Carter: Don’t look too sad. I still love you, if that’s what’s worrying you.
What in the world?
Me: What are you talking about?
Carter: I went for a jog, and when I passed by, you just looked too sad and I couldn’t ignore you. Need me to get you ice cream?
