by Pamela Ann
Once I got out and didn’t find Emma on the bed like I thought she would be, I stepped out of the bedroom and looked for her. Dread filled me, but I let out a sigh of relief when I found her right on the shore, looking over the sea.
“What are you doing out here?” I stopped behind her, staring at her blossoming figure. The need to wrap my arms around her came out of nowhere. That part of me was gone. It had to go or I wouldn’t ever forgive myself if I gave myself to Emma again.
“Waiting for my ride,” she responded before turning around to face me, smiling sadly. “I know it was killing you to touch me like that. I’m going to stick to my promise.”
“You’re going to marry him.” I stated it as the fact that it was.
Emma nodded. “The day after I get back to LA.”
That fast? Why? That wouldn’t give me time to think things through. She threw this important information at me and then expected me to just… What? Forget about it?
“Is the child really mine?”
She ignored my question. “I’ll wait right here. They’re coming from Aspasia, so they won’t be long with the helicopter.” She looked into the sky, impatient to leave.
Emma was fucking with my brain and I hated every second of it. “I’m only going to ask you this one last time; is the baby mine? And if you lie, I swear to God, I’m going to put you and your entire family through Hell,” I threatened, although I had no intention to because her parents were amazing people. I didn’t have anything else to use to make it hit hard, though, so I had to use the best weapon of all. Her loved ones.
She looked away just as the chopper was heard from a distance.
“Emma.” I sounded desperate. Why wasn’t she being more forthcoming with answers?
“It’s okay, Bass.”
Nothing was fucking okay! “Is the child mine or fucking not!” I bellowed, losing my bearings.
Emma shrugged nonchalantly. “It was never anyone’s.”
I groaned, throwing my hands up in the air as I moved towards the house.
“What are you doing?” she followed me inside.
The decision was done; I knew the second she told me that it was mine. I wouldn’t admit to it of course. “I’m leaving with you.”
She rushed to get right in front of my face, appearing afraid. “You’re not going to fight me for custody, are you?”
That hadn’t entered my head, but she was giving me ideas. Brilliant. “I’m going to request a DNA testing the moment you give birth. And if that baby’s mine, he or she won’t be carrying another man’s name, they’ll have his father’s.”
“Hold on—” A small smile lit her face. “You’re planning to marry me?”
Was that a poor attempt at a joke? “I haven’t lost all of my brain cells. The last thing I’d ever do is marry someone I hate with a passion. The child can still carry my last name without having his parents marry.”
She folded her arms, glaring at me, insulted. “You’d rather have it be a bastard then?”
I could read her so well when she was furious. “Why are you so eager to marry me, Emma? Is this your way of throwing clues my way that you want to become my wife?”
“Yes. Yes it is.” She didn’t even have the gall to deny it.
What happened to her throwing our engagement back in my face? All that insecurity about Nikki? And what about the rest of the shit with Carter?
“Even if I did end up marrying you, I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole and I would divorce you the second you gave birth. Still up for that?” I tested the waters, needing to see where her head was at.
“Yes.”
Okay, I didn’t expect her to so easily agree to that. What was going on with her?
“Why are you so desperate for me, Emma?”
“I love you—after all that’s happened—my love for you has only become stronger.”
She had regrets. That was all this was. I doubted what she truly felt for me was real. Nothing she said was believable any longer.
“Don’t you dare tell me that again or so help me God—”
Emma cut me off. “I won’t. But for the last time, I want you to know that you have my heart. I’d do anything to have you back, that’s how desperate I am.” She pressed her hand against her chest, as if in pain. “I love you. I’ll always fucking love you.”
“Never, fucking ever, speak of love in front of my face!” Everything was too late for us. She should know that. It was her who had, after all, made sure that we had both parted for good.
Now that twisted luck was playing its games again, throwing a child into the mix. However, whatever happened, I was going to get out of this predicament unscathed. Falling for Emma again was not in the cards.
Chapter 30
Carter
“Emma—there’s no need for you to throw everything away.” I was trying to argue, but I had known the second I saw her that something wasn’t right. This had all happened five minutes ago, when she’d woken me up at seven in the morning.
“There is every need. I need him.” She looked so sad, but not for me it was speaking about Bass that made her this way. “He might hate me now, but I’m hoping he’ll forgive me. I’ve wronged him.”
No, not this nightmare again. I already had everything set. We were supposed to get married tomorrow. She couldn’t just do this. I knew Bass had resurfaced from the dead, but what about me? What about us? I loved her, too. What about me…? “If you choose him this time, I’m not going to stick around anymore.” I couldn’t, I didn’t have anything left. I felt like I had been robbed. I wanted my heart back.
“I married him yesterday.” She showed me her new rings, flashing her entire left hand while smiling sadly at me before I looked away, wanting to scream until I couldn’t anymore. “I want you to be happy, Carter.”
“You’re my happiness.” Why did it hurt so much? Why did I keep hanging on to us when she wouldn’t fight for me? “Without you, it’s not possible.” She took away the privilege for me to be happy.
After she’d agreed to our engagement, I had been looking over homes, cribs, paints, interior decorators; I had fucking gone ballistic with everything because I was fucking over the moon. I wanted my new family to be happy, comfortable and want for nothing. And now, I had no one. After all that, I remained worthless in her eyes.
What the fuck did I do now? I couldn’t possibly call all of them and cancel. I made fucking appointments—FUCK!
“Carter?” Emma asked as I got up and started pacing.
After five minutes of non-stop, back and forth, I rounded towards her, stopping as I shook my head. “I chose our flower girl. Her name’s Emily. She’s my second cousin. You’d have loved to meet her.”
Emma stood up, wrapped her arms around my hips and held me while tears fell down my face. “I’m so sorry to do this to you. I really was going to marry you—”
“I bought us a crib, Em.” My voice trailed off, too choked up to continue.
Emma silently cried, soaking up my shirt. “I’m so very sorry. So sorry for causing you so much pain, but I can’t make you happy…”
She was just saying that because things had become too crazy. At this point, I was done. Maybe I should just go and live somewhere else. I didn’t fucking know. Right now I was being pulled apart, head to toe.
“Goodbye, Emma.” I lifted her face, kissing her tenderly. Our tears meshed together, knowing that this was going to be the last time. When I woke tomorrow, I was going to move on, or rather, try to anyway. I wasn’t going to stop until this fucking pain was not there any longer.
Emma, I knew she meant well, but she’d fucked me up pretty well.
I didn’t think I deserved this kind of punishment even after the orgy I had cheated on her with. What she did to me was far more severe—far more painful—than the hurt I had caused her. I loved her, though; so even though I could barely breathe, I forgave her.
Our hearts do the wanting for us. Sadly, I wasn’t the champion in he
rs anymore. I just had to accept that now and walk away, forever.
“I love you—I fucking love you, Ems,” I cried out, giving her my last kiss.
Chapter 31
Bass
I had been holding my breath, staring at Carter Mason’s front door until Emma emerged from it. She’d insisted on driving here straight from the private airport. Apparently, Carter needed to know what she’d been up to, and that their engagement was kaput.
I’m not going to lie, it still irked me that Emma remained so attached to him, but she and I weren’t really anything to one another. I was doing this solely for the baby. Apart from that, there was nothing else between us. I had made sure of that. So I just hoped that Emma had gotten that into her head.
There were only a few of people who knew I was alive, including my friends and my Godfather, but apart from that, I was still veering away from the media. My mind continued to be too chaotic to deal with the rest of my life. For now, I wanted to focus on the current chaos, like the woman who was now walking towards my vehicle.
Once she was in the car, I thoroughly checked her face, scrutinizing it, noting how swollen her lips were now compared to how they had been before she left.
“Had a good quickie?” I asked, sounding bored as I made the car engine come to life. Inside, I was a mess, however she was never going to know that.
It took her what? Less than thirty minutes to cheat on me—her now husband—with Carter. It was a battle I was done fighting over.
“He kissed me goodbye.” She fed me the information as I pulled out of the gutter, not looking at her betraying face.
Right, goodbye kiss… “I’m sure that’s all that happened.”
“It was,” she confirmed, but I wasn’t convinced.
Emma was definitely a liar. I was certain they had done more than light goodbye kisses. I was about to ponder more about what the hell had happened with them when my ringing phone got my attention, indicating that it was my lawyer. Answering the call, I tried to ignore Emma as much as possible, concentrating on driving while I listened to what was going on.
Nikki’s DNA testing was scheduled for tomorrow. Apparently, the other guy that remained unknown, who only contacted me through my lawyer, had paid her off. Not with anything of monetary value, but with something worth more to get things going. I wasn’t sure what that something was, however it was a blessing I hadn’t seen coming.
Given the crazy situation, it was in everyone’s best interest to know who was the father of her child. Nikki was going to have the best for her procedure. We were assured that the baby was going to be in safe, good hands. For me, that was what counted the most.
He also gave me an update about my parents’ case, which was still pending.
It took Emma about ten minutes to speak again after I ended my call, prying into what had happened in Paris. “How did you escape the fire?”
Thinking about all those dead people, among them my women friends, still evoked strong feelings from me. I somehow felt guilty for not being there—for not trying to help—and lastly, sometimes I thought I should’ve died with them in there. Maybe I was supposed to, but luck had pulled me away in the nick of time.
“I was taking a call. I was talking to Taylor a few feet away from the club when it happened.” That night was forever going to haunt me. “And when it did, the idea of running away from it all popped in my mind.”
“Taylor knew this whole time.”
Of course he did. He was my guy, my best friend. “He was the only person that wouldn’t break my confidence. I knew I could trust him.”
She stared outside the window, bracing herself. “I begged him—when I was dying inside. I begged him to tell me if he knew something I didn’t.”
I asked him not to say anything to Emma. She was the one thing I was avoiding. The main thing that had driven me to go spiraling down and still was, yet now, I had to be the responsible adult. I suppose it was time to stop hiding and go face the rest of the world.
There was nothing left to say to each other, so we kept an uncomfortable silence. While I concentrated on driving, Emma would stare out the window. Once in awhile, she would express a melancholy sigh. At times, she would glance at me and give me lingering glances before sighing again. I could only guess what was running in her head, but honestly, we had caused each other so much grievance, it was time to just let bygones be bygones and look into the future, which was our unborn child.
Since my house was being put on sale, I had recently purchased a new one on the coast of Malibu. It was a little further in, so not a lot of people could locate it as easily, but most of all, I needed the privacy. Quiet and peace was what I sought for in a home, and I hoped this one turned out how the pictures made it appear. You see, I hadn’t really seen it.
I basically had Barbara check it out, and when it got her approval, I had my lawyer deal with the rest.
Once the navigation got us right outside the house, Emma started to become frantic.
“Oh, God!” she gasped, dropping her phone on her lap as if it had burnt her. “Oh, God!” She started crying.
I looked over to her, worried. Was she being hormonal? Or was it serious? Or was the house not to her liking? I wasn’t all that sure, but I thought I’d mentioned that I had bought a new place.
“Emma?”
“Angela’s dead,” she choked out, hysterically crying.
Angela… “The little girl?”
She nodded, just as I pressed the remote key that was already programmed in my vehicle—thanks to Lou—before we pulled up right outside the five-car garage.
“I had neglected her after everything. I had forgotten all about her.”
Damn. I could only imagine the guilt that was consuming her. She had been quite close to Angela. For her to neglect her because she was possibly going through so much would truly make it difficult for her to make excuses for herself. Knowing Emma, she would stress about it until she was passed exhausted.
“I’m sorry, I know how close you were to her. I know this might not be so important now after Angela’s passing, but this is our new home.” I saw her nod, looking about for the first time. Coming out of the vehicle, I rounded her corner and opened the door for her. If I had much choice, I’d rather not touch her at all, but she was pregnant and distraught, so I made sure that I helped her out of the seat, hands touching and all. “Is there something I could get you?” Ideas ran through my mind. “Do you want me to run you a bath?”
She shook her head. “No,” she sniffed, pulling a tissue out of her purse. “I just need to cry this one out.”
I was sure she did. I just hoped that she wouldn’t go overkill with crying and forget to take care of herself. Guiding her towards the front door, I took the keys out and glanced at her sullen state. “I’ll go make some breakfast.”
“I don’t feel like eating.”
I sighed, hoping that this situation was a tad different. Things were strained as it was. “You need to, Emma… the baby needs to stay healthy.”
“I’ll eat later, but for now, I just want to sleep,” she mumbled, not looking at me. She didn’t even check out the new surroundings. “Are we sharing a bed or are you going to stick me in a guest room so you can boot me out the second I give birth?”
I stilled, looking at her fully. “You can stay in the master and I’ll take the guestroom.” That made sense; well, to me anyway. This wasn’t a real marriage after all. “I’m going to call Barbara and check if they found a replacement for the film I recently backed out of. If they haven’t yet, I might sign up again.” This idea had just blossomed out of the blue, but since I wasn’t planning to seclude myself any longer, I could get back on my projects again—well, whoever wanted to take me back, I supposed.
Emma snorted, eyeing me with hate. “Right, you’re going to just up and leave me in this house. Is that your plan? Great, well, in case you’ve forgotten, we’re newly married. Don’t I get a honeymoon at all?”
Hon
eymoon? Was she attempting a joke? “This marriage isn’t real, Emma. I hope you don’t forget that. That’s what we agreed upon, don’t twist my words now.”
“Yeah, you hate me. I get it, but can’t you give me a chance. I’ve missed you… Angela’s death just made me realize how important it is to spend time with the people you love. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
This was what I was afraid of. Before we had the quick wedding, I had emphasized with grave detail that this was how it was going to be. Why was she changing her tune now? It wasn’t fair to either of us. “Let’s stick to what we agreed on, Emma.”
She fumed, wiping her tears away. “What about sex? We didn’t talk about that.”
Which part of no intimacy did she not understand? “I’m not fucking you again,” I stated. That last time, as phenomenal as it was, had been similar to stepping on a landmine for me. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—let myself get attached to her. It was just not going to happen.
“What about me, Bass? I know I’m pregnant, but I do have needs, too.”
What was she implying? That she would let another man touch her again? I didn’t have a smart retort. I knew she was a highly sexual woman and since I wasn’t going to satiate her appetite, I knew she was going to seek out the very man who would cater to her needs, Carter Mason.
“You’re a grown woman. I’m sure you can figure it out for yourself,” I muttered, walking away towards the view ahead of me; the vast scene of the beach and with the massive pool on the tip of the property. The scenery was utterly breathtaking. This—serenity—was what I needed.
I could hear her walk towards me, stopping right behind me, so close against my ear, whispering sadly, “What about your needs? Are you… are you going to—” She paused, breathing raggedly. “Are you going to get a mistress?”
It was insulting, truly. Without looking at her, I strode towards the stairs, needing to get away from her barbed tongue.
She had never known me at all. Even though I wasn’t planning to resume our sex life, that didn’t mean I was going to run around town looking for the next woman to fulfill my sexual needs. That simply wasn’t in the cards, not until I was a divorced man. For now, I was willing to try celibacy.
