by Pamela Ann
Chapter 2
Lindsey
A couple of days later, after celebrating Bass’s birthday with Emma surprising him in the best illicit possible way a woman could—by flaunting her assets as she came out of his birthday cake—Dimitris and I were having an argument in regards to where we’d spend our holidays together.
Originally, the plan was for us to leave LA and fly over to Athens, but things had changed, and I had been forced to alter my plans to look out for my brother. This alteration didn’t occur until after he had called while I was getting ready to meet Emma and the gang at her surprise party for Bass. Not only had he not sounded the same on the phone, but with his drunken voice, the profound sadness that had lingered with every word he had said, as if the world was on his shoulders due to the immense pain that he was in, I had known I just couldn’t leave him behind to celebrate the holidays with Dimitris and his family. I mean, I loved Dimitris to heaven and back, but this was my brother—my one and only. I was all he had, and I simply couldn’t give him up like Emma had. He needed me more than ever, though he didn’t know it yet.
“Lindsey, our deal was for me to come here then for you to come and spend Christmas and the New Years with me and my family in Athens. You can’t change your mind at the last minute. That’s just unacceptable.” Dimitris looked like he was about to combust, while I felt truly torn between the love of my life and my poor brother.
“I can’t leave Carter alone, especially not like this.”
For the first time that I could recall, my brother didn’t seem like himself. I had never once worried about his welfare. He was always incredibly confident and never wavered, even when the going got tough. However, this time around, I knew things had definitely altered for him the second Emma had left him, for good that time.
“He’s the only family I’ve got. I can’t just abandon him, Dimi. I love you, and I would do anything to make you happy, but this … this will eat me alive if I leave him this way. He’s my only brother, and even though we don’t get along most of the time, when push comes to shove, we always have each other’s back.”
He groaned. “Well, why can’t you bring him along? I’m sure he’d appreciate a break, especially at this delicate time.” He paused, sending me a peculiar look. “I gather that he doesn’t know yet?”
Like I’d be the one come bearing bad news that would most likely put Carter in a much darker place than he was already living. Fuck. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t even trying to get out of his funk. I hated seeing him this way. It wasn’t natural for him not to act like his old self. I was deeply worried for him, especially since Emma was pregnant again.
“No, of course not. No one has the heart to break it to him.” Emma had secretly shared the news about her impending pregnancy, and as much as I loved seeing my best friend happy and living the love-filled life she had once fought so hard for, I couldn’t help feeling the sadness that came with it. Because we all knew that her happiness had come at a massive price.
Carter.
The arrogant man who thought the world revolved around him was devastatingly struck with love and left immobilized by the inevitable pain that went hand in hand with it once the flame burnt out. He gave her everything—things that seemed a little crazy to comprehend even to myself, a woman whose second nature was being crazy and recklessly wild, although I couldn’t picture myself enduring the kind of bloodshed he had withstood simply by loving Emma Anderson alone. He just stood by and watched his heart being ripped apart, howling the shattering hurt that lashed at him, until he was spent and had nothing left to fight for. It was as if he had died, dismembered and eviscerated, yet remained with the living, still managing to breathe, getting up as if alive but dead inside.
At first, when I had seen it slowly trickle towards the downward bend, I had thought he needed to go through it, and then he’d bounce back and recover like most folks did. Hell, even I had tried to live it up, despite dying inside after I realized the wreckage I had caused. I had expected the same from him, but my instincts had been wrong. It was far off from my own experience. He simply didn’t have any fighting spirit in him. He just let it be, letting it take its toll until he was rotten with it, decaying inside out.
True, at first he had deserved the treatment he received for cheating on her, but the price he had paid was even more dreadful. It saddened me that it all had come about this way. Had I known he’d be this broken, I could’ve at least tried to buffer while it all had taken place. However, I had been too bent on trying to prove to him that he deserved this treatment from Emma; so much so that I had been blinded to the path of no return he was on.
Little did I know he was completely different from me yet very much the same. Hard on the outside, though truly and gullibly unprotected inside. It made me wonder if this all rooted from my mother’s infidelity and her reckless, doomed behavior.
“Lindsey? Are you still with me?” Dimitris interrupted my thoughts, deeply frowning at me.
Blinking as I gazed at him, I knew he’d be disappointed of my decision before even voicing it out. “I’m sorry, but I must stay here,” I regrettably said as I begged him with my eyes. “You’re more than welcome to stay, but if you choose to leave, I won’t hold it against you. I know how important family is to you, and I also happen to know how much they expect from you being the head of the company, as well…, so that’s truly up to you. I hope you understand that this is not easy for me, and that I’d love nothing else than to spend this holiday season with you for the first time. However, my only family needs me.”
Carter was my only sibling, and after our parents had died in a fatal crash, he and I were all we had. I simply couldn’t take the most selfish and easiest route out of this one, walking away from problems like our parents had. That would be too devastating, even if he wouldn’t say so.
Dimitris sighed with utter desolation before he sat right next to me on the edge of the mattress. “I can always stay here …” he started saying, sounding unsure of his thoughts, “I’m sure Pappou and the rest will eventually understand …”
Pappou—the one man on this earth I truly didn’t want to disappoint, but what was I to do? Knowing Carter, he wouldn’t even hear me out before shutting the idea down about spending the holidays in a foreign country. My brother was an all-American man, and he’d tell me I was crazy to even think of spending holidays in a country where I didn’t speak their language.
Besides, he’d barely left the area, knowing Emma was living in her home in Malibu. Much as he despised to admit it, he liked knowing she was easily accessible to him. Peculiar, really, since he’d never go where Bass was, but I was almost one hundred percent sure he’d seen the house.
I was about to ask him if we could go see Carter together, and he could try convincing him since he’d have enough respect not to shut Dimitris down, because he wouldn’t want to be seen as an asshole. Unfortunately, my phone rang, disrupting our solemn ambiance.
Walking towards the living room area, I plucked my purse off the counter, scouring for my phone before I finally managed to find it. The caller somewhat shocked me a moment.
Brody, it said, flashing incessantly before me.
“Are you going to get that, or do you plan to stare at it a while?” Dimitris called out from the bedroom.
I glanced towards his direction, watching him gaze at me intently, curiously. Biting my lip, I gave him a pained smile. “I—uh—it’s Brody …”
He nodded towards me. “Take the call. I want to know what he’s been up to.”
Was he baiting me?
I glared at him, our eyes battling it out for a moment. After three full seconds, I relented and took the damn call. Damn him and his bright, glow in the dark eyes.
“Hello?” I rasped out, sounding scratchy, as if I hadn’t had water in days. I wasn’t particularly nervous, but sensing how Dimitris was logging every single thing I did definitely made me a little edgy.
Brody cleared his throat, huffing
air as if he’d been running for miles. “Hey—it’s me … and please don’t hang up—because you always do—but … uh … There’s an emergency. It’s your brother … I think he has alcohol poisoning …”
“What?” I screeched, frantic. “What do you mean, you think? Where is he right now?” Something was compressing against my chest, making it harder to breathe by the second, as I tried to picture Carter from the last time I had seen him.
“Well, I think he overdosed on alcohol and perfumes …” he reluctantly added, making my eyes almost jumped out of my sockets. I must admit, I was more than a little perplexed.
“Perfumes? Are you fucking high right now? You better not be, because this isn’t fucking funny. I’m going to knock you in your face if I find out this is a stupid prank!” My yells were so loud I could barely hear myself properly. My body was shaking as I watched a frowning Dimitris rush towards my side.
“No! fuck no! This isn’t a prank,” he rushed out, knowing well enough that I was about to go bonkers if he didn’t correct himself. “I found him with empty bottles of Jack and other alcohol … and a few empty bottles of Emma’s perfumes that she left behind.”
You have got to be joking!
“Perfume bottles?” For the love of God! Carter, what the flying fuck? Perfumes? Shit. This was enough to make me think he was a serious basket case.
“I know what you’re thinking—I thought the same, too—but I had to call the paramedics so they could immediately take him to the hospital. I’m on my way there as we speak.”
“I’m on my way,” I whispered my response, ending the call before I crumbled to the floor, my feet unable to hold my weight any longer.
“Lindsey! What is going on? What’s wrong with Carter?” Dimitris took control. He calmly grasped ahold of me and carried me towards the nearest chair, cradling me on his lap while he patiently waited for me to tell him what had happened.
Tears welled in my eyes as images of my parents’ death and their funeral flashed through my mind. It was Carter who had held my hand through it all, shedding not one tear, remaining stoic and acting like the big, strong brother he was.
If I lost him, too, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
Chapter 3
Lindsey
After my quick explanation to Dimitris, he immediately led us downstairs to the lobby and had the valet bring his hired car around. Through the process, I was in a daze, wondering if that day was the one I’d lose my brother. It was a wretched way of thinking, but as the past had taught me, one could never be too prepared. I had once wrapped myself in a protective bubble of idiocy; however, I had vowed never to do that to myself again. It was best I be prepared for the worst case scenario, and if it did go downhill from there, I knew I’d never repair myself, never recover from the loss of losing my only brother.
The drive from LA to Santa Barbara was a silent one. With Dimitris holding on to my left hand, I felt his strength giving me a little courage. It was as if it was his way of telling me that, no matter what happened, he’d be there for me, and I couldn’t have asked for anything more from him right then. He knew I was drawing out a bleak picture ahead. He knew the ghosts of my pasts were out and haunting me as the seconds ticked away. His simple gesture might have been little to some, but this—him—was all I needed to keep sane.
Funny how I’d thought once that I’d survive being all by myself, that I was tough enough to fight my own battles. Maybe it was true when I applied that sentiment with Brody in mind, but with Dimitris? No. I needed him just like I needed air to breathe.
Emma had warned me about obsessive love. Not the petty one I had shared with Brody, but the ‘can’t live without you’ kind. She once shared that experiencing the profound element with Bass Cole had shaped her as a woman, although even then, she had said that kind of power was like antimatter—magnificently uncontrollable yet supremely and explosively deadly to all.
My brother hadn’t stood a chance once Bass had entered Emma’s heart. It had been game over, yet he hadn’t seen it that way. Maybe he’d considered it a challenge. However, he’d had no idea what type of hell he’d be fighting against. There was no way he could have won battling against something as massive as antimatter, nor did Claudine, for that matter.
Without even asking about her to Dimitris, I knew the French woman was trying to get him back. We would see how far she’d go to win him over. Heartbroken people always tended to go for dramatics to get their ex’s attention back. Heck, I was the master of that before. Her antics wouldn’t faze me.
The unsettling feeling I had in the pit of my stomach intensified once I knew we were fifteen minutes away from the exit off the freeway. I wasn’t sure how I would react upon seeing Carter’s face. The hospital he had been admitted to was the same one the girls did volunteer work for in the children’s wing. It was Trista’s haven in the beginning, but she’d stretched her influence amongst us four. It was also where Emma had done her due whilst heartbroken from her break-up from Bass Cole, and the very same place my brother would go by to drop off coffee or whatever sweets he could think of that Emma might like during her volunteer shifts. Having Emma on a temporary basis didn’t deter him from trying to win her over, but he had been too late. It was sad, but sometimes timing was everything.
It was just fortunate things weren’t too late for me when I realized how in love I was with my ex-husband. My regrets with him would forever make me indebted to him, though he had no idea about that. I had made a promise to myself that I would never give up on him just because things might become difficult between us. It was already a given that things would eventually get harder. Long distance relationships always did. We were no different, even though we were nuts and bolts about each other.
It didn’t take long before we had arrived to the familiar parking lot with Dimitris gearing the car to park.
“Ready, my love?” Dimitris’s soft voice gave me a little power to push through this.
Giving him a wan smile, I felt him squeeze my hand, and I responded in the same manner, showing him I was stronger than I looked. He made a curt nod, as if to say we were both ready to go inside the emergency room.
Once we were out of the car, we strode towards the daunting building as we held each other, hand in hand. The second we entered the emergency room, nurses stood for what seemed like a stretched minute, staring boldly at the man beside me. Usually, I was used to that type of reaction, but that night, I could have done without it.
I released a frustrated sigh right as they caught themselves and started to finish what they had intended to do to begin with.
“Why don’t you give Brody a call? I’ll head over to the nurse’s station and inquire about any information.” Bright, glowing blue eyes locked onto mine, full of worry, full of understanding and bottomless love. “I’ll be right back,” he murmured before planting a tiny kiss on the tip of my nose then departing in his usual manner of casual elegance.
Instead of calling Brody, I stood trancelike, feeling at a loss without him next to me, while my gaze followed his direction. Just like earlier, the three nurses hovered around their computers and phones, giving him an overeager smile and listening to him talk as if he was God preaching the Old Testament. It didn’t take long until he was on his way back to me, masking his frown when he saw me in the same position I had been in minutes before.
It was rather unlike me to feel vulnerable; however, I sure felt it, and I loathed every second of it seeping into my blood, as if I had no willpower of my own. I felt like that little girl again, utterly lost and broken.
“Your brother is in stable condition, though they said he had severe alcohol poisoning.” His lips thinned as he guided us in a different direction.
I nodded before giving him a questioning look. “How’d you get them to give you info?” From what I knew, you had to be a family member to know such important information.
He made a confident, crooked smile. “Easy. I simply told them I was his brother-
in-law.”
“Ex … brother-in-law.” I had to insert that in case he had forgotten how we had gotten into this awkward phase of our relationship, all thanks to my stupidity.
He tightened his arm around the back of my hips. “Yes, but they don’t know that, do they, yineka mou?” He brushed his lips on the back of my ear, leaving a chaste kiss on the sensitive skin. “This is not the time nor the place to rehash the failure of our marriage. Being here because of what your brother’s done is enough to remind me of the kind of ghosts I had to chase away after you left me. I’m thankful I hadn’t gone this route, though I admit I was toying with the idea.”
His blatant admission made me halt my steps, eyeing him wildly just as the guilt started to unleash its ugly head once more. “You had women—Claudine—with you at all times. You were always preoccupied.” I was trying to reason with him, not wanting to believe how I had truly damaged him. Had it been that bad, like Emma had done to Carter?
“I had a lot of company—Claudine being the constant amongst the rest—but that didn’t change a thing. A body can be easily distracted, but my mind and heart were always thinking of you and how happy you were to be with Brody. The eviscerating pain wouldn’t disappear. Numbing it with alcohol worked from time to time, yet there were moments where I had to keep consuming more just so I was too inebriated to function. Even with my head pounding, I still thought of you.”
Tears prickled. How could such confident men be unbelievably vulnerable when falling in love? Was that why they turned into assholes, because they had their hearts stomped on in the first place? Maybe so. I sure as hell had done the same.
“I hate myself for putting you through that. You must know how sorry I am. I promise I won’t ever be that selfish—”
Dimitris made a chuckling sound before wrapping his arms around me, enveloping me with his warmth and mouth-watering smell that left me utterly breathless. “The journey you and I had makes us who we are today. Don’t ever hate yourself, because I love you, Lindsey Mason. I haven’t stopped, not even a day since after I vowed to love you for the rest of our lives. Let the past lesson be our guide to a better future, not the other way around. We can only go forward from here. Don’t look back, or it’ll keep chasing you. I’m here with you, not with any other woman, because I chose you, Lindsey.”
