by Pamela Ann
I was just about to take my shoes off so I could go out and join the people who were on the beach when the screeching sound of a vile bitch halted me.
“Aw, look at you … partying alone. You’ve fallen far down the ladder, haven’t you, Amber? It’s sad. It really is.” Cece’s unremarkable, scathing self stopped before me, her face plastered with thick make-up that was meant for theatre and her boobs constricted within a small tank top that could barely hold them.
I hadn’t even found my groove, and she was already out for the attack. Fuck me sideways.
“You’re still hung up on me? God, Cece, you need to get over me. Find a different hobby or maybe join a convent. I heard they’re recruiting washed-up, skanky whores.”
Her confident, snarky stance turned dark and vindictive. “At least I’m not you—unwanted by parents and now unwanted by her friends because you’re not that interesting. You’re the outcast, alone with no man willing to commit to you other than to fuck you. That’s all you’re going to be, Amber—a fuck up, exactly how you were planted on this earth to begin with.”
I shook with mad anger, her words triggering something deep within me to the point that I bitched slap her hard across the face. She should know to stay away from topics that were too sensitive to even touch, especially my childhood.
“You better watch out, Cece. If you’re out for blood, I’m going to fucking cut you and bleed you dry until all your dirty laundry is out in the open. I’m not Lindsey, Emma, or Trista; you don’t get to fuck with me the way you did with them. You hit me, and I fucking hit back. So back the fuck off, or I’m going to fucking run you over. Take your fucking pick.”
I think she was too shocked that I hit her and wasn’t even sorry for it. Then she whimpered and slunk away from me, justifiably huffing with what little dignity she had intact.
My right hand stung and felt hot from its dramatic performance. It was worth it, though—to see her back away was worth everything. I had a lot bottled inside me, and she deposited herself in the line of fire, so she deserved it. Besides, she had done enough harm to all of us. That slap was for everyone she had hurt in my life. Not only that, but she also hit below the belt, and I was gob-smacked, shaking with anger as I tried to tell myself that Cece wasn’t worth shedding a single tear for. However, my emotions had a different agenda. I could feel the back of my eyes prickle as her words rang in my mind like a broken record, repeating over and over again until they drove me insane.
Dropping the idea of heading outside to mingle, I found myself in a glass corner, trying to lower my heart rate and adrenaline from the encounter with Cece, when Rob suddenly popped up out of nowhere.
“Sorry it took forever, but here’s the goodies.” He gave me a pill, took my beer, and exchanged it for a bottle of water.
Staring at my open palm, I frowned at it. “What’s this?” It didn’t look like the normal cocaine I was used to, but heck, things might have changed since I last used. I had been out of the loop for quite some time.
“It’s Molly.”
It sounded harmless, yet I was certain the effect was anything but.
“Is this a new thing?” I skeptically asked, wanting to know more about it before deciding to take it.
“It’s basically E with a reboot. Guess it needed a new marking name in the drug world.”
Right, cause PR and product branding was fucking needed for this sort of shit.
Staring at the tiny, perfect, blue pill, I flipped it over and was surprised at the name blatantly stamped on the back.
“666? Really? Is there anything else?” I wasn’t sure I was comfortable taking anything that had the demon associated with. “Don’t you have anything less … umm … evil?”
“Less evil?” he barked out in laughter, while I found it less than amusing.
I was particular with these things, and I admit, I was bummed not to get my usual cocktail.
Wanting to reason with Rob, I persisted, “You know what I mean … anything like a heart or something? Anything but this.”
Something lit up his features. “Wait, I think we’ve got butterfly in the house. Wait here and I’ll go see if I can get one for you.” He immediately disappeared before returning a few minutes later with a red pill that had a butterfly marked on the back.
“Great, much better. Thanks, boo!”
“Under no circumstances will you mix this with alcohol until you’re a pro or suicidal, ‘cause if you’re not used to these little droplets, you’re going to end up in the ER or stiff in my living room, and we don’t want that. So, are we good on that?”
Err … What happened to Jack and coke?
I stared at him wildly as I weighed my thoughts. I would rather stick to what I was accustomed to, but apparently, he didn’t have that. After all this time, he had run out of it. It was bizarre, yet I didn’t argue with him.
It was a mistake I was going to pay dearly for.
With an empty stomach, it took approximately thirty minutes or so to really feel the shift of temporarily altered physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. I could literally feel my blood coursing through my veins, beating, throbbing. The whole process was spine-tingling, electrifying, and absolutely profound. It was different from what I was used to. This was taking it to another level of mind-blowing experiences. The feel-good sensation was intense, as if it had recharged every single atom in my body and combusted into this beautiful, sensual symphony. It was a cocktail of amazingness, bottled into my body, waiting to be explored, needing to come out and experience the transfixing animation around me.
Still standing, pole-axed by this entire transition as I gripped the bottled water in hand, I took my time getting my body accustomed to this new phase. Possible consequences were shoved to the back of my mind while I focused on my body coming alive as if it was brand new.
The anger, the hurt, and all the pain I had carried around in my heart simply vanished in the blink of an eye. I was in a bizarre state where I couldn’t even recall what it was I had been feeling before taking the pill, because the sensations had taken over me, capturing me in a way that should terrify me, but since I was indulging in this new feeling, I didn’t fucking care about the past. I wanted the now and what it give me.
“Are you feeling okay there, sweets?” Rob’s concerned face was too close for comfort, but I supposed he wanted to see if my pupils were dilated or to make sure I was fine.
And I was more than okay. In fact, I had never felt better.
“Let’s go dance!” I said as I shoved the bottle of water in the nearby chair before taking ahold of his hand and sprinting towards the available space that was cleared for dancing.
I felt wild and intensely high to the point that, when Rob became really touchy, everything he did, even when he whispered into my ear, I felt as if I could orgasm from it.
“God, you’re so fucking hot. You don’t have any fucking idea how fucking good it feels to have you in my hands…”
As much as I didn’t intend to go down that route with Rob, the sensation his touch was creating inside of me made me feel as though I couldn’t win the war my body was waging internally. Therefore, I gave in to his touchy advances while we danced, and I got so caught up in being “in the moment” that I didn’t realize where this could all lead to.
Chapter Fourteen
The acute migraine that managed to wake me up from a deep slumber made it feel as if a baseball bat had whacked my head. At first, all I could think about was the intense, mind-numbing throb of my head until I became all too aware of the god-awful smell that infiltrated my nostrils. It seemed like I was being punched in the gut while tons of bricks were being thrown against my chest every millisecond, all while being burned alive.
The gruesome reality of what had transpired the night before flashed through my mind as I cringed with repugnance. Like how it was in a movie, everything came rushing back like a bad Z-list, Indie horror movie.
The events began to spiral the moment I let Ro
b place a hand on me in a more intimate level compared to what we were normally accustomed to. I supposed in his point of view, I had given him permission to feel as though he had every right to do those things.
“Where are we going?” I frantically asked while he ushered me away from the crowded room where everyone was dancing, shooting, and boozing.
I bumped into people’s shoulders as we passed by as he maneuvered us into a short hallway, taking a few turns before finally stopping at a door. Once he opened it, it took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the dimness of the room, thanks to the only light being what was projected from a laptop screen.
My heart quickly thudded as I scanned about the room, processing what was going on while at the same time not fully getting it. It was as if my mind’s mechanics were not as tuned as they normally would be.
Frazzled and a bit out of sort, I found myself in a room with Rob and his other friend whose name escaped me at the moment. Not so discreetly, this nameless friend turned to his laptop and resorted to sifting through a porn website.
“Don’t mind him.” Rob twisted me around so I didn’t have to see what his friend was watching before he continued to lull me back into his arms. “Just keep dancing with me.”
“Are you serious?” I grumbled, whining about the situation because I didn’t want to dance or be in this room with some guy.
I didn’t feel comfortable. Nothing was. I felt a little faint, parched more than ever, a little sweaty, and the list could go on. And Rob wanted to fucking dance? Was he out of his senses?
The only sounds in the background were the echoing cacophony of people fucking and moaning, not to mention the demeaning curses the man was using to address the woman whose vagina he was slaughtering. As much as I tried to block the noise, it was too loud to ignore.
Before I knew it, Rob’s hands were cupping my breasts, massaging them as he backed me against the wall while I tried to get away from him.
“Rob, stop it. I don’t want this. Let’s just head back downstairs. This is not the kind of fun I had in mind,” I tried to plead with him, but he was too out of it and too horny to pay attention.
He merely laughed at my words before applying more pressure with his hands. “C’mon, sweets, we both know you like to be a sex freak.” He nuzzled my neck, kissing it before he dragged my body to the middle of the room where the bed was located. He then used his body to make us both free fall against the mattress, leaving me captive underneath him with a stubborn, hard cock that sat on my thigh.
The moment I felt his hard-on, my body instantly reacted with mixed emotions. I knew one thing then, and that was I had to get out of there before something bad happened.
I tried to push him off while his eager hand sought passage between my legs, but it got harder to keep my momentum when he furiously began to rub my pussy.
“Rob, no, I’m not comfortable,” I hissed out, somewhat moaning. Deep down, I knew I didn’t want Rob this way, but at the same time, my body’s reaction was a hundred times heightened due to the pill’s side effect.
“Let me just eat you out. You’re going to love it,” he declared, pinning me down with his hand while I felt the other viciously yank and rip off my lacy underwear. In the blink of an eye, Rob’s mouth was on my pussy, doing what he had promised.
The intensity of his ministrations coupled with my thrashing as I tried to shift my hips from his vicious mouth, making this worse. Unfortunately, my body was beginning to like the electrifying tingles it was getting, provoking something wild within me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his friend unbutton his jeans and take out his dick, yanking and stroking it at a steadfast pace. He was an eager non-participant, milking whatever he could to get a different sexual high as he watched his buddy have his wicked way with me.
Moisture prickled at the back of my eyes as I tried to stop myself from moaning, hating my body for loving what Rob was making it do. All the while, that random guy simply jerked off while watching Rob manhandle me.
From the moment Rob felt my pussy getting wet, he knew he had me and could do as he pleased, fuck me as he pleased, and he didn’t just do it once or twice. I honestly lost count. In the end, even my will and my mind stopped fighting as I completely shut down and let it all go.
Images flashed before my eyes at such a speedy rate it made me feel nauseous, but the moment I opened my eyes and found Rob naked next to me, the bile that had been threatening to rise up from my stomach came up. I had to run to the bathroom, clutching my naked body while the other hand covered my mouth. I didn’t even reach the sink or the toilet before everything came out and landed on the floor, and then my guts couldn’t stop retching.
I wasn’t sure how long I was in the bathroom, crumbling after my stomach vacated all of its contents until I was left with nothing but hollowness, an emptiness that gnawed and ate at my soul.
One of the heavy burdens that came with being conscience was guilt. How? How could I have let this happen to me? The question daunted me as I tried to wipe the forming tears away.
Everything I had been through since childhood could not compare to what I was feeling at that moment. It was as if the previous night’s events had compounded everything that I was—what I stood for, fought so hard for, and all I believed were out the door. I had no idea what I was anymore. I’d had something going for me, but after this—feeling highly violated—I wasn’t sure where I could go. I had never dealt with anything on this scale.
Though I wasn’t sure what truly had happened, I felt as though I had been stripped from any rights, as if I didn’t have any say because I had basically placed myself in Rob’s hands in every sense of the word.
Disgusted at the very sight of the room and the man in it, I scurried away, leaving the house like I had just witnessed someone commit a murder. Of course, the only offense there was what I had let happen. It was my fault—I had placed myself in a vulnerable situation where any man could violate me. If it hadn’t been Rob, it might have been someone else.
In no time at all, things had gone from bad to worse. Had I fought it, voiced it out with anger, maybe I wouldn’t be in this position. Regardless, I was, and I had to suffer what came as a result of my reckless behavior.
The blame weighed heavily on me. It was my fault. I had sought it, hadn’t I? Little did I know that seeking it meant I was welcoming another tragedy in my life.
Chapter Fifteen
When I got back to Carter’s house, I was fully aware that it was past noon and that Carter had already left for South America. I could have gone straight home, but being alone at this critical time left me feeling frightened. Maybe it was the aftermath of what had happened, but in the back of my mind, I didn’t want Rob seeking me out at night, and I would be there with no one to run to for protection if need be.
I was lucky enough that no one was in my way as I headed to Carter’s room, maddeningly sprinting towards the bathroom before I turned the shower on because I needed a good cleansing. After last night events … I shivered at the thought of what I had let happen.
Dirty, disgusting whore—that was what I was.
Tears rolled heavily down my face as I recalled it over and over again.
“Why?” I cried out, choking.
No one would respect me once they found out what I had done. No man, not even my best friends, would see me in the same light. What man would want a woman who was keen on drugs? On top of that, she also let her body be keen on a man having his way with her while under the influence?
All the blaming, all the self-hate wouldn’t be enough to punish me. On some level, I knew I needed to find out the truth from Rob. He and I both knew I had told him not to do it, yet he had kept on. Then again, since Molly was known as the rape drug, was I even surprised that had happened? I didn’t want to portray it as rape, however. I mean, at some level, I felt good when he touched me, though my mind was telling me to stop it. It was all too confusing, and rehashing it persistently was dri
ving me crazy.
I had to talk to Rob, or I wouldn’t have any closure. If he and I were decent friends, he would fess up and admit he had done me wrong, that he had taken advantage of the situation. Then he needed to apologize and promise to never let it happen to me or to any other woman ever again.
Ten minutes later, I was dressed in black sweats on a hot summer day, a total contrast to the sexy cutout outfits I had been sporting since I got back. There was this profound need to cover up, as if I felt safer with more clothes. It was pointless after what had happened already, but I had to wear some sort of armor to see him. I didn’t want to go in there again and let the horrid episode have a second run. No, I wouldn’t let that happen again.
If anything, I came out of the horrific incident not wanting to be under any influence of drugs. My recreational days were done and over with. This taught me a lesson—never trust that every single person you surrounded yourself with had the best intentions for you. They would find a way to take advantage when you were at your weakest. And that was what I had been—so weak and high out of my fucking mind that I couldn’t control what was going to happen next. I had given all my desires up the moment I decided to take a drug that was known for such events while surrounded by people I barely knew.
Upon entering Rob’s rented house, I found people were still passed out in the most unconventional places. Some were on the floor or sleeping on top of someone. It was completely vile. The house parties I was used to with my friends were crazy, as well, but not to this extent. Weed was the only thing allowed, and if people gave out harder drugs, they would usually be booted from the house.
Bracing myself as I retraced the path back to the bedroom where I had left Rob sleeping, I felt like all the air was being punched out of my stomach as I recoiled from the horrid images that played out in my mind. Even though this was the last place I wanted to be in, I needed to speak to Rob, or I wouldn’t ever know.
