by Pamela Ann
Twenty minutes later, we were out of the door and on our way to the barbeque.
The short walk was fraught with silence. I could feel her deep thoughts and probably her guilt more so. Knowing how awful she felt, I reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze before letting it go. I didn’t have to relay in words that I would always be there for her, no matter what.
Arriving at the guys’ place with Trista was somehow bittersweet. I had so many memories with Brody here, and now I must pretend that none of that mattered any longer. It was my decision, and I intended to stick to it.
I missed him with every beat of my heart, though. He was imbedded so deeply into my DNA it was hard to live, breathe, and think without him in mind. However, I had made up my mind about him, us, and I had to persevere, or I wouldn’t know what life was without him.
Once we got to the boys’ pad, Brody and Cooper were there to greet us. Surprisingly enough, there weren’t many people there. The get together only consisted of seven people, which was an unusual head count for their parties.
Everyone hung out on the patio where the grill was full of burgers, hotdogs, and steaks. Unlike most folks, I liked my steak well done with little charred marks on both sides. Once ready, everyone gathered around the table as we munched on salad, corn on the cob, and corn bread as sides to the meats.
Of course, I sat opposite of where Brody was sitting, silently sipping on his corona. Though we didn’t speak to one another, apart from the small nod we had earlier on my arrival, I could feel his eyes on me most of the time. It was like he was trying to catch my attention, but I hadn’t given in and glanced over to where he was located yet.
I was pretty much happy munching on my food, feeling invincible, because everyone except Brody, of course, was asking Trista about her trip and Lindsey’s wedding in Greece. These people were Lindsey’s friends, as well, so it was pretty normal for them to be curious. Trista, who was relieved to be out of the house, seemed whimsical upon describing our friend walking down the aisle for the second time.
My happy, invincible time munching, however, came to a halt when Russo, a guy who was part of the school’s soccer team, directed his attention on me.
“Are you dating anyone? Anyone I know?” He was obviously teasing, possibly baiting me to say someone’s name in particular, but I wasn’t buying it.
“Here and there…” I nonchalantly responded with a shrug. “No one in particular, really.”
Much to my dismay, Trista decided to chime in with her two cents. “She’s secretive about her boys, though I imagine she has tons ‘cause her phone won’t ever stop beeping with invites.”
Well, thank you, Trista. What a dear friend you are.
“She’s probably like Carter’s main squeeze, or are you? You never update me on anything.”
If there was a time that I wanted her to gladly shut the fuck up, this was it. But my glaring and darting, evil eyes didn’t divert her attention. Therefore, stuck with the question everyone at the table was awaiting my answer on with an awkward silence, I knew I had to say something.
“Maybe I’ll tell you later when there’s not an audience around.” I wasn’t necessarily playing coy, but what the hell? I didn’t want people here to know my business during dinner. It wasn’t my style. Then I had the genius idea of diverting the question back to her, the lady of the minute. “And you know, while we’re on that subject, maybe you’d like to update me on your love life.”
“He’s pissed,” she said. “He won’t even pick up my calls.”
Damn, it was that bad?
“Did you apologize at least? I mean, I know you’re prideful when it comes to stuff like that, but I think he deserves to hear you’re sorry.”
“I did. Of course, I did. I mean, come on, I didn’t do it on purpose. It was just a stupid kiss. I didn’t even like it.”
Russo whistled and the rest laughed at her too oblivious take on things.
“It sure doesn’t look like just a kiss when it comes to men. If a girlfriend of mine did that, I’d fucking flip, too.”
Knowing Taylor, I was sure the man felt betrayed, and he was too consumed by that feeling to see anything else. Poor Tay-Tay.
“If something happens between you two, please know that you’re a stupid woman to let something so beautiful and so loyal get out of your hands.”
Taylor was insane for her. How could she be here, enjoying a damn barbeque when she should have used this time to grovel her way back into that hot man’s steely arms? Her priorities were all out of order. Then again, I supposed we all had our own battles to fight, so maybe she would come around to her senses.
“He’s just mad at me right now … He’ll come around.”
“Let’s hope he does because it sure doesn’t look like you’re going to make an ounce of an effort to try to breach this problem between you two. You know I love you, but … You need to get your ass in gear and get that hunky boyfriend of yours back,” I softly chided her, hoping she would wake up and do something about it instead of sulking. It was her fault they’d had this fight in the first place; therefore, she had to take the initiative to make amends first. “You do know, if you can’t fight for him, someone will, right? Men like that always have women around them, swarming for the right moment to snatch him from you.”
She frowned. “Well, aren’t you quite the Doctor Doom.”
Someone had to be. Seriously.
“I’m being serious, Trista. Drop the pride or you’ll end up like Emma when Bass wouldn’t take her back. You’d be in that position, and we all know how horrific that was.”
I cringed thinking about it because, for so many nights, I could hear that poor woman puking in the toilet due to the breakup making her too sick to function. Emma had been a hot mess, and I could easily see Trista heading in that direction. She should know better after what Lindsey and Emma had gone through. She knew she had to learn how to fight the right battles, most especially for men who loved their woman, even their rotten core.
After our interesting dinner, everyone helped clear the plastic plates and utensils before dumping them in the nearby trash bin.
I was on my way to the cooler to get some beer when Brody tried to stop me by using his body to block me from getting to my destination. Body blocking apparently was his secret weapon—you know, since he knew how I loved his smell and the heat that radiated off his hot bod.
Well, what could I say to that?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“I need to talk to you.”
“Brody…” I meekly greeted him with a shaky smile. “Do you want another bottle, too?”
He paused as he boldly stared back at me, not quite amused at my question. It was obvious he didn’t want any damn beer.
The very thought of us, alone so we could properly speak, was a glaring red flag. I mean, my resistance was already on shaky ground, and if he pushed further, what then? Well…
Don’t fucking go there, I silently cursed at myself for lingering for far too long on the glorious possibilities of what could happen if I did stop resisting him.
Clearing my throat and my thoughts at the same time, I tried to avoid his eyes as I mustered all of my energy on the task of fetching a damn chilled beer while those intent, laser-like, beautiful, dark eyes stared at my body.
“Does it have to be now? Can it wait?” I asked, hoping he would skip the idea altogether.
Brody was already impatient, though. I could feel him simmering mere inches from me.
“Of course it can’t fucking wait or else I wouldn’t be asking you right now.”
Fucking Hell. What was his problem? Why did it feel as though everyone was mad at me tonight? First Trista then Brody … Who was next? Couldn’t a girl simply have fun without being grilled with questions? Shoot.
“Fine.” It was either I concede to his request or risk him blowing up like a ticking time bomb right here, before our friends, which wasn’t really a choice.
His response was
a simple glare before he harrumphed and headed indoors, maneuvering towards the front door.
Great, I thought snarkily as I remembered all too clearly who he had been chatting with out front the last time I had seen him.
Once we were out the door and it was shut, I didn’t waste another second before delving into whatever was itching to come out of his mouth.
“What are you so mad about?” I asked, barely holding it together as I tried not to snap at him.
“Mad?” he snorted. “You’ve basically told everyone that you’re single while you slept in my arms for the past week, doing and sharing everything with me.”
Wow. That was rich coming from him when it was merely yesterday he had been openly flirting with Joanna. Come on, who was he trying to kid? Been there, done that when it came to him.
“We’re just hanging out. Why are you being so literal about everything?”
“We’re hanging out,” he said, shaking his head. “So what does that mean in ‘Amber’s Dating Rule Book’? Does that even mean exclusivity, or does that mean you can do what the fuck you want to whomever you want?
“What do you want from me?” I asked him. We’d had a deal, hadn’t we?
He gave me a pointed look then made a quick shake of his head, as if to say he couldn’t believe he had wasted his breath on me. “Nothing. I guess we’ll fuck around the way we usually do.”
His statement nagged at me, bothering me to no end. Not to mention the fact that he was seriously fuming at me. That I couldn’t take. He’d been there for me, and I couldn’t leave him hating me forever.
“Please don’t be angry.”
“I don’t have any right to be…” Sadness laced his voice. “I guess there’s really no point in me not going out there and dating, as well.”
I immediately caught on. There was only one woman he had been constantly around. It wasn’t hard to guess. “You mean with that chick named Joanna?”
“Whatever.”
What a double douche!
“You can’t just do something like that to specifically hurt me—”
“Hurt you?” He laughed cruelly. “I’m hurting you…” he whispered before staring me down with those powerful eyes, striking me breathless. “Don’t you ever pause for a second and maybe even consider that you’re hurting me, as well?” he ground out, almost hissing. “Do you know how it felt to be there in that room, planning what to do to you tonight when we’re in bed together, while you declared that you’re single and willing to go on a date? Even Cooper gave me a look because, you see, I thought we were together—well, I thought you’d eventually come around, and I’ve been waiting for you to come back since you left my bed yesterday morning.”
That was messed up. What—why would he even put himself through this when we clearly had discussed what would happen afterwards?
“I’m not ready.” For any of it … for what he was insinuating.
“Then I’ll wait. I already told you I’ll wait, but don’t fuck around with me, Amber. I don’t think I can do it the second time.”
He meant Lindsey. Lindsey had strung him along, but I didn’t do that to him. I had been open about my expectations of our short arrangement.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I care enough to tell you that I can’t be with you the way you want me to be.”
Anger came off him in waves before he made a curt, determined nod. “I see,” he uttered harshly before directing one last look at me. Then he spun on his heels and went inside the house, leaving me speechless as I watched him walk away.
There was no way in hell I could go back in the house without attracting Trista’s attention, and to be quite honest, I just couldn’t fathom dealing with any of that at the moment.
I needed to breathe, to think. I desperately needed space away from here, away from him.
Therefore, instead of heading inside, I went back home to fetch my car then went for an aimless drive. I was contemplating where I should go, to the local bar or somewhere out of town to drink my sorrows away, when something caught my attention.
My dashboard beeped, blinking in red, indicating that I needed to refill my tank. Reluctantly, I had to make a detour in search of the local gas station. Once I reached it, I immediately hopped out of the car and went about my way as I contemplated where to go once this was over and done with.
I had just finished swiping my credit card on the gas pump’s machine slot when I heard the unwelcomed voice of Rob behind me. It raised the back of my hair as I ground my teeth together, knowing well enough that I had seconds until he would see me and act as if we were still on good terms.
“I knew those hot legs looked familiar,” he drawled in such a sickeningly sweet way that I seriously growled in irritation.
Fuck. I was wearing a skirt, and that fucktard was hitting on me.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck!
I was so mad, so pissed off that I chose to ignore him. I was so tense, so sick to my stomach to be breathing the same air as he was, standing a few inches away as he accelerated his steps towards me.
“Hey, sweets!” he tried again, but this time, I decided to face him full-on.
Maybe it was the pent up anger or the way he had treated me the day after—so vile, spouting shit as he tried to make it look like I was “begging” for it, but I was just done with him. As a result, when he got up close and personal, my twitchy hand fiercely connected with his sweaty cheek, and then my knee swiftly lunged for his gross dick. I’d had no clue I had the physical capacity to do that, yet I did. Call it adrenaline or whatever, but I was pulsing with it and maybe a little bit of triumph as I saw how much the impact caused him pain.
“Come near me again and I will call the cops on you for date rape,” I threatened then heard him mutter some incoherent stuff about his swollen, bruised dick.
Blue, purple balls was the least he deserved, but he should know I wasn’t to be fucked with, not anymore.
Not caring about the gas any longer, I got in my car and drove off.
After my encounter with Rob, I wasn’t sure what I was anymore.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
I knew I needed to see him. My mind persisted after thirty minutes of sitting in utter silence the second I parked my car somewhere in between the route from my house to the gas station.
Regardless, I knew I couldn’t go back to the party looking like a frazzled woman with so much adrenaline they’d think I was high on something. Trust me, I was borderline hyperventilating and a little all over the place after seeing that snake.
Therefore, after fifteen minutes of everything being back to normal, I started the engine, heading to go see him. It took another seven to get there, a minute to get out of my car before reaching the front door, and a second to realize that the house was jam-packed with people. What happened to the laid back atmosphere I left earlier? I thought with utter frustration as I plowed myself through the crowd.
It wasn’t intentional, more like a bad habit I couldn’t help, but I scanned the crowd for Brody. My intention of coming back here was to speak to him, but at least I could have been subtle about it. What the heck, though? Who cared anymore? After seeing Rob, I simply wanted someone to soothe me, my soul, and Brody was the only person who had the power to do just that. With him, nothing mattered. With him, I was cocooned in his safe embrace.
After thirty minutes of not seeing him, I finally cornered Cooper. “Have you seen Brody around?”
“Hmmm … he’s around,” he said.
“But he’s not here.” My eyes and body would surely give me a telltale sign if he was around. None of my senses had gone off, however, so I had to know where he was.
He pondered a moment as he looked at me intently before finally responding to me again. “I think he’s still upstairs…”
I stared at him, knowing what he was thinking. Cooper wasn’t necessarily vague unless, of course, for a reason—such as covering one of his friend’s asses, which I thought wa
s the case here since he was being such a pain about giving me more information.
“He’s with someone, isn’t he?” I pressed, knowing full well what the answer to the question was and still feeling inclined to say it.
“You didn’t hear it from me.” He shrugged before he gave me an “I’m sorry” look.
I knew it, yet my heart couldn’t fucking take it. The very idea of him doing the nasty in his bedroom made me want to puke. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to run out of there or go up to his room to confront him. Regardless, I knew it wasn’t my right to demand anything from him. I specifically made things clear between us. He was a free to do as he pleased.
And just when I thought things couldn’t get uglier, Joanna came downstairs, wearing his jersey, boldly emblazoned with his last name and number.
God, that hurt.
If I had thought I was hyperventilating before, I was about to have a heart attack just about now as I scrammed towards the door, seeing red everywhere.
“Leaving the party early?”
Dammit. How in the world did he manage to spot me amongst all these people? Probably because I resembled a bat-shit crazy woman out of hell.
Not daring to glance at him, I responded without pausing my steps. “Um, yeah. I have a headache.”
“I have some Tylenol if you’d like,” he kindly offered as he followed behind me.
Fuck Tylenol. I needed something harder than that so I could pass out and forget everything that had happened tonight.
I gritted my teeth. “No, I’m good. I’m just going to head back home.”
“Are you sure?” he pressed. “You look really pale.”
Who wouldn’t be? Joanna was wearing his jersey. There was nothing left to be said. That had said it all.
“I’m fine.”
“Good. Let me walk you to your car.”
“I need to walk.” Fuck the car. I needed to sweat this off, or I would crash due to this frantic state of mind I was in.
“Then let me walk you to your house.”
