by Abby Ayles
“I like to read,” Regina said. “Lord Harrison was kind enough to show me his library. I’ve spent days in it. I’ve read every book in our library at home.”
“Oh goodness, she still gives him an honorific,” Miss Eliza snorted. “Dear, you might as well drop that. A simple Harrison will do if you’re not comfortable with his first name.”
“Not all of us are ingrates who flaunt Christian names about,” Lord Quentin teased.
“Edmund,” Miss Eliza replied. “Edmund, Edmund, Edmund. There.”
“You are all children,” Cora muttered. To Regina she said, “Indeed? Reading? You shall have to tell me some of the books you’ve read.”
Now that, Regina could do. She started with a passionate explanation of the latest book she had read, a most diverting novel written anonymously. The author’s name had been given only as “A Lady.” She was wildly curious to know who the author was.
“If only so that I might thank her,” Regina explained. “Her wit is insightful and cutting. There was this one passage where she spoke of a gentleman whose Christian name was Richard. She said…”
“That he ‘had never done anything to entitle himself to more than the abbreviation of his name,’” Cora quoted.
Miss Eliza laughed with delight and Regina smiled. Cora gave her a small, almost private smile. Regina got the feeling that Cora didn’t smile very often. She felt special for having earned one.
They continued to discuss books for a while. Finally, a subject that Regina felt comfortable with. She knew a great many books. She had even read some books of law that her father kept.
Technically she wasn’t supposed to be reading those. But when she had found herself bored and with no new books or knitting, what else was she supposed to do?
Sometime around dessert she admitted that her other passion was needlepoint. “I’m afraid I am not one for riding or shooting or any of that,” she confessed.
“But you go to balls, do you not?” Miss Eliza asked.
“Very reluctantly.”
“Why ever so?” Miss Eliza didn’t seem upset or teasing. She sounded genuinely confused. “I’m sure you must find your company sought after.”
Regina shook her head. “I am not comfortable with crowds or strangers. I’m not overly fond of dancing. And…”
Her voice trailed off as she thought of the things that had been said of her over the years. How people said she was too drab and quiet. Or they said that she was rude on the few occasions she did speak out.
She thought of how the men were never interested in her. Or if they did speak to her they generally made her uncomfortable. And, more often than not, they were only speaking to her to get close to one of her sisters.
Far from being sought out, she was quite certain that if she had disappeared off the face of the earth, most of society wouldn’t have noticed.
Something of her distress must have shown on her face. A moment after, she felt the firm press of lips at the top of her head. She had forgotten that Harrison still had his arm around her, and that she was all but tucked against his side.
“Puck here underestimates herself,” Harrison said. “She hasn’t been given the chance to shine, that’s all.”
“And Oberon here has far too much faith in me,” she added, and she meant it.
She tilted her head up to be able to look into Harrison’s face. He gave her a flat, unimpressed look. His eyes twinkled, though—probably because of the nickname.
“I see nothing wrong with your interests,” Cora said. “From what I hear, most people seem to think all that a woman should do is needlepoint and reading. I should think that most would applaud you.”
“Men only want a woman to be quiet like that once the wooing is done,” Lord Quentin pointed out. “Up until then they want a flirtatious girl who will dance with them. Someone they can easily impress.”
“You mean someone who will say yes,” Lord Mannis pointed out. “And not just to marriage. If you catch my meaning.”
“Darling there’s no need to be crass,” Miss Eliza said.
“It’s the truth,” Lord Mannis replied. “I know it pains you my dear but not everyone is as pure of mind as you. Many men are impatient. They don’t want to wait until wedlock.”
“Surely that’s why brothels were invented,” Lord Quentin joked.
“Times like these I am glad that I take pleasure in women,” Cora said. “No man will take me for sport.”
“I hadn’t realized this was so…” Regina searched for the right word. “Prevalent.”
“It happens more often than people want to believe,” Harrison said. Perhaps she was imagining it but it felt as though his grip on her tightened slightly in a protective gesture.
“Everyone wants sex,” Cora said dismissively. “And if one is smart about it there’s nothing wrong with that. But men will convince a girl that they shall marry her. They sleep with her, and then leave her. The poor thing is then left heartbroken.”
“And God forbid anyone finds out,” Lord Mannis added. “Then the girl is ruined.”
“Always the girl and never the man,” Miss Eliza said.
“I think it can be valuable, as long as both parties are respectful,” Lord Quentin said. “Goodness knows I didn’t know what I was doing the first few times. Can you imagine if it was with my wife? I’d have disappointed her terribly.”
“So you disappointed a prostitute instead,” Miss Eliza said.
“They are used to disappointment,” Cora added dryly.
Regina was back to feeling uncomfortable. To hear intimacy spoken of so openly? It was unheard of. Especially to have it spoken of as something that could be done between people who were unmarried—to be said that it wasn’t necessarily a sin.
“Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” Lord Mannis said. “Shakespeare’s a little overdone if you ask me but he could be an insightful bloke.”
Regina thought about that. “You’re saying that sex doesn’t necessarily have to be just between a man and wife?”
“It doesn’t make sense, does it?” Lord Mannis said. “We’re told that it’s a sin and then when we’re married we’re told we must do it. I think sex is commonly an expression of pleasure, and at its best an expression of love.”
Regina thought about that. She had snuck some interesting passages and pictures in her time. She knew generally how sex worked. But she hadn’t really thought much about it until now.
She’d had no reason to, after all. She’d had idle little crushes, thinking this person looked handsome and so on. But she’d never truly lusted after anyone. And so why think of sex when she couldn’t think of someone to do it with?
“I think we’ve made her uncomfortable,” Cora noted. She was looking at Regina, her eyes piercing. Regina suspected that Cora saw far more than Regina or anyone else wanted her to see.
“Do you play cards?” Miss Eliza asked. “You were just watching us earlier. But I’d like to play again. I want to try and finally beat Harrison.”
“I’ve never played before,” Regina said honestly.
“You and I can play as a team,” Cora said. “No, Harrison, she can’t play with you. That’s completely unfair. And you can’t monopolize her all night.”
“You’ve caught me out,” Harrison said lightly. He tucked some of Regina’s hair behind her ear again. “What can I say? I like to keep her close.”
It was so that he could mentor her, of course. To Cora and the others, however, it was a gesture of romantic affection. It was hard for Regina not to see it that way as well.
This was a problem. Regina wasn’t the sort that could just pretend the way that Harrison obviously could. She would have to learn so that she could pretend at the masquerade. Pretend to be someone else. Someone with confidence.
But right now, she was still just Regina. And right now, Harrison’s behavior was doing things to her. Making her skin feel just a little too tight and hot.
“Cards it
is, then,” Lord Quentin said.
The servants started to clear dinner while everyone retired back to the parlor. Regina was seated between Cora and Harrison once more.
“All right,” Cora said. “The most valuable lesson I can teach you is how to gamble.”
“Isn’t that the same as learning how to play cards?” Regina asked.
“Oh, no. Playing cards is one thing. How you handle your money is another. You can use your money to intimidate others, or lull them into a false sense of security. You can win everything at once. Or you can build up slowly.”
Lord Quentin shuffled this time.
Harrison winked at Regina. “Careful, Cora, I’ll think you’re trying to steal her away.”
“You did say you prefer redheads,” Lord Mannis quipped.
“She’s far too young for me, as I believe I’ve already said once,” Cora replied calmly. “And if my simple presence is enough to worry you, Harrison, perhaps you have to woo her better.”
Harrison laughed. “I assure you I can woo whomever I please.”
“Really? You failed spectacularly with me,” Miss Eliza pointed out.
“Who said I was really trying with you?” Harrison shot back.
“Children, children,” Cora said. She sounded bored. “Quentin, do deal us out, will you please?”
Once the cards were dealt, Cora showed Regina her cards.
Harrison suddenly leaned over, his mouth right at Regina’s ear. She knew it was only so that Cora didn’t hear him but she couldn’t help herself. His lips were brushing her skin and his voice was low and warm. She shivered.
“Don’t look at yourself,” Harrison whispered. “Look at the others. Play based on them. That’s how you win.”
Cora began going over the rules with Regina. Regina tried to listen, but she also kept an eye on the other players.
Look at the others.
As they began to play, Regina paid attention to the others. Lord Mannis was reckless. Miss Eliza worked to throw others off. Lord Quentin was stuck to his methodology.
She could play off of this. They reminded her of her sisters, in fact. Lord Mannis was like Natalie, reckless and in it for fun. Miss Eliza was like Elizabeth—ironic given they shared a name. Both worked to fluster others and knock them off their game.
Lord Quentin was like Louisa, patient and methodical. Sometimes playing it too safe. Stuck in his ways.
That left Cora. Regina was surprised to find that comparing Cora to Bridget made a perfect match. Both were enigmatic. You couldn’t tell what they were thinking. They balanced out those around them. And they knew this game inside and out.
Regina let Cora handle the rules. She knew she’d pick them up just by playing enough times. Repetition was all that she needed.
Right she would look at the people. Play against them.
As the game started, Regina would whisper to Cora what she thought they should do. Sometimes Cora would do something else. This would be because her knowledge of the game beat Regina’s reading of an opponent. But for the most part, she listened.
It was a kind of rush to have someone listen to her. She still didn’t talk much but she didn’t feel left out of the conversation. It felt like she was included even if she didn’t say a word.
It was very much unlike her previous dealings with groups. If balls were like this she would have liked them a lot more. She no longer felt like a mouse, or the least of her sisters, or judged. She felt valued just as she was.
As she watched the others and made suggestions based on their behavior, their pile of money grew. The pile of money in the middle grew as well.
Before long, the only person who was still holding their own against them was Harrison. He wasn’t beating them outright. It was more neck and neck. But when it came to money he was matching them piece for piece.
Regina felt a little thrill. She actively wanted to win. She wanted to beat the others. Was this the gambler’s rush that people talked about? Was this why people became addicted?
It felt a little like she was on a hunt. Only in this hunt, she didn’t have to spill blood. Money and honor were at stake. And finally, her habit of observing people was paying off.
All those years of just sitting without saying anything. All those times she’d watched and listened. Now it meant she could know exactly what each person was thinking and what they would do. It was almost like she could predict the future in that way.
It was terribly exhilarating.
“I thought you said you hadn’t played before,” Lord Mannis said suspiciously.
“I suspect that her beau has been tutoring her on the side,” Miss Eliza said. She gave Harrison a shrewd look.
“Believe me, I haven’t taught her a thing. She’s just a natural.”
As he said it, Harrison sent her another one of his small smiles. Although the others could probably see it if they chose to look, Regina had a feeling it was meant only for her. It made heat rise to her cheeks again.
Damn it, she thought, mentally indulging herself in a swear. What was wrong with her?
“This game will go on forever if we don’t put an end to it,” Lord Quentin said. He threw down his cards.
“That’s the trouble with loo,” Lord Mannis replied. “It only ends when everyone is too poor to play.”
“I am happy to declare either Harrison or our two-woman team the winners,” Miss Eliza said. “They’ve quite nearly cleaned me out.”
Regina looked over at Harrison. She didn’t want to stop playing. She hadn’t beaten him yet. She’d never thought of herself as competitive but now she was seized with it. She wanted to win.
She also didn’t quite have her brain wrapped around the rules. But those were a matter of practice. She wasn’t worried.
“Look at Miss Regina.” Lord Mannis laughed. “She wants to keep playing.”
“You really must work on hiding your emotions,” Miss Eliza said. “You are an excellent first-time player but I can see everything you’re thinking.”
Harrison chuckled. “Yes, I’ve noticed the same thing. We’ll work on that.”
“Don’t tell me you intend to throw this girl to the wolves,” Cora objected.
“Maybe I would like to be thrown to the wolves,” Regina replied.
Cora arched an eyebrow. “You might be more like your sister than I had thought.”
Regina didn’t know what that meant. She was dying with curiosity about it. She wanted to know what Bridget had been like as a child. She wanted to know what her mother had been like. What her entire family had been like. She didn’t remember it very well.
But discussing it in front of the others wasn’t a good idea. Not because it was scandalous but it was private. Personal.
Harrison spoke up, anyway, so even if she’d wanted to say something the moment was gone.
“Nobody is throwing anyone to the wolves,” he said. “Including throwing themselves. I’m merely helping her to get good at something I am also good at. Can a man not have a protégé? I do call her Puck rather than Titania, after all.”
“And that doesn’t have any homoerotic undertones,” Lord Quentin muttered.
“If you’re all going to get into another literary debate,” Miss Eliza stated, “I need more alcohol.”
“I think that we should all retire,” Cora said firmly. It once again reminded Regina of Bridget. Cora was acting as the mother of the group, the same way that Bridget would.
“Probably fair,” Lord Mannis said. He pulled out a watch. “Good Lord, is that the time?”
Regina started. She looked up at the clock on the mantelpiece. She had been at Harrison’s all afternoon and evening. What would Aunt Jane think? Would she be worried?
“There’s no reason for you all to drive home,” Harrison said. “You are all welcome to use the bedrooms.”
“There are only four of them,” Miss Eliza pointed out. Obviously she and Lord Mannis would share, Regina thought. “Will Miss Regina be sharing with you?”<
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“Miss Regina’s residence is only a short walk away,” Harrison answered. “I can escort her.”
Lord Quentin stood up. “I, for one, could do with some quiet. It was lovely to meet you, Miss Regina.” He bowed to her. “I hope that we shall see more of you in the near future.”
“I believe that you shall,” Regina replied, curtsying.
Lord Quentin started walking towards the door. “I claim the Ocean Room,” he said.
Miss Eliza jumped up at that. “Oh no you don’t! You got that room last time and we had to make do with the nursery!”
Lord Quentin started running at that. Miss Eliza took off after him. Judging by the thumping on the stairs, they were racing for the room.
Lord Mannis stood up and sighed. “I suppose I had better stop her from scratching him.”
“You say that as if you are any less of a spitfire than she is,” Harrison pointed out.
Lord Mannis laughed. “Touché.” He bowed to Regina and Cora. “Ladies. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Regina. I echo Quentin’s sentiment.”
He then exited.
Regina looked at Harrison, curious. “The nursery?”
“One of the bedrooms was my nursery when I was a child,” Harrison explained. “It has since been converted into a normal bedroom. It is done up in a lovely soft powder blue color. Miss Eliza prefers the darker blues and green accents of the bedroom known as the Ocean Room. As does Quentin. It’s an ongoing battle.”
“I prefer the Lilac Room myself,” Cora said. “It’s done up in pastel blues and purples.”
For a moment there was a pause. A heavy one. Then Cora spoke once more.
“I hope that you both know what you are doing.”
Harrison tried to speak, but Cora cut him off. “Now, far be it from me to tell people who to love. But I have seen the dangers of it. Once I nearly brought ruin upon the woman I loved.”
“The one you’re still pining after?” Regina asked.
Cora nodded. Her eyes looked heavy. Everything about her looked heavy. It was as though she wanted to sink into the floor. “We were foolish. We were all but discovered. Fortunately our families had only suspicions. No concrete evidence. It could have gone much worse.”
