by Abby Ayles
“And I did not have the habit of conversing easily with those I did not know. I learned, in time, but that was later. At the time of his proposal I was quite inadequate at the dinner table for talk.
“Yet, somehow, he loved me. He had seen things in me that I did not see even in myself. I loved him, of course. He was so handsome. Do not tell my daughter this but she takes her good looks from him. She has always been convinced that she looks after me and I cannot bring myself to tell her that her father was always more handsome than I.
“But in any case. I did love him. He was gentle and kind, witty, and excellent at riding and dancing. I couldn’t fathom that a man such as that could love me in return. I resigned myself, therefore, to simply be content to be his wife and to have him near me, even if I did not have his love.
“And you know, the man seemed determined to prove me wrong. He would arrange for my favorite flowers to be sent to me. He would purchase me gifts when he went out, little ribbons and baubles and such. He consulted me about all matters and seemed to truly value my opinion. When he was away he would write me such long letters—the whole bundle of them seemed to weigh a pound!
“After about a year of this, my poor suffering husband came home, and presents me with this beautiful pearl necklace. I was quite astonished, for I knew that it must have cost him dear and should make me quite the envy of all the ladies at the next ball.
“I burst into tears.” Aunt Jane chuckled at herself, shaking her head. “You see my father was a good man in many respects but he was not faithful to my mother. Oh, we all knew it, though no one spoke of it. Every time he broke one of his marriage vows he would gift her with some truly astonishing jewelry. It was his way of absolving his guilt.
“So when my Harold brought me the necklace, I was sure that it meant he had strayed. I could not bear it, for though I knew he did not return my love I had also thought that he was a good man who would stay faithful.
“The idea of him betraying our marriage broke me, and I simply cried my eyes out. The poor man was so confused! He asked if I did not like pearls, if I was with child and therefore temperamental, if I was sick and needed care.
“Finally I got round to telling him why I was so upset. You should have seen his face!” Aunt Jane laughed heartily. “I had never seen the man more surprised!”
Aunt Jane sobered up. “More than that, though, my dear, he was appalled. I could see it in his eyes.
“He knelt before me and took my hand. I shall never forget that moment. He looked at me—and for the first time I saw it. I suppose that he had been looking at me like that the entire time but I hadn’t seen it until that moment.
“He looked up at me and said, ‘Darling’. He called me that you know but I had never heard it with such reverence. ‘Darling’, he said, ‘How is it that you can doubt my utter devotion to you?’
“I responded that his devotion to a wife he did not love must naturally be suspect. A man’s loyalty to a wife he loves is one thing. Loyalty to a woman he has married for the sanctity of marriage, a wife he respects well enough but does not love—what can be expected of him then?
“My husband was appalled, and rightly so. I don’t think it had occurred to him in that moment that I did not know that he loved me. I had certainly never voiced my thoughts aloud. It was not my place and it was, or so I supposed, so obvious that there was no point in speaking of it.
“He took me into his arms and—well. I won’t tell you what he said or did in that moment. I must have some secrets.” Aunt Jane winked at her. “But I remember realizing, oh. He is in love with me, as I am in love with him. What a fool I was not to see it.”
Aunt Jane reached over to a small red velvet box that she had been carrying with some of her luggage. She placed her hand over it and Regina knew without a moment’s doubt that the pearl necklace was inside.
“Will you be wearing it tonight?” She asked.
Aunt Jane nodded. “I always wear it on special occasions. I get out so rarely now. Whenever I do, I feel as though he is with me.”
Regina supposed that was why Aunt Jane had told her that story. She was feeling nostalgic and missing her husband. If only Regina should be so lucky as to find someone who loved her in that way.
Aunt Jane sighed, as though she had fired an arrow and it had missed its mark. Then she perked up, peering through the window. “Oh! Lovely sight, is it not? I always feel my heart swell when I see it. Of course that is largely because I know my daughter resides within.”
Regina peered through the window as well and saw indeed that they were approaching the Morrison estate. There was no turning back now. In a few short hours, she would be seated at the card table.
Time to shove all thoughts of romance and Lord Harrison and daydreams out of her head. She could not be Regina the girl right now.
She had to be Regina the card player.
Chapter 30
The moment Regina stepped out of the carriage she was assaulted.
“She is here!” Natalie cried out.
All at once Regina was being picked up and swung around, causing her to let out a shriek. “This is quite undignified!” She protested. They were not children, after all.
“I shall greet my darling sister however I please,” Bridget said, setting Regina down.
Regina could not contain her joy. It suddenly felt as though her heart would burst. “Bridget!”
Her eldest sister smiled down at her, eyes wet and smile wide and warm. “My darling.”
They hugged fiercely, and Regina had to admit that she clung to her sister a little more tightly than usual. Unlike Bridget, she knew how this evening was going to end: with her sister engaged to Lord Harrison.
When they pulled back Regina was tugged from behind and turned to be pulled right into the arms of Louisa. “And how are you, Regina?” Louisa asked, her voice as gentle as ever.
Regina hugged her back. She hadn’t realized how much she missed her other sister and her gentle presence until that moment. “I am quite well. I hope it is the same with you.”
“As well as can be expected,” Louisa said, pulling back with a smile.
Regina took in her sister’s wan appearance. She then looked at all of her other sisters.
Natalie looked as though she had not slept in some time. It was the same with Bridget. Louisa seemed pale. Elizabeth seemed healthy, but her mouth was drawn into a tight, unhappy line.
“Has there been more ill news?” Regina asked.
The sisters all looked at one another, and then shook their heads.
“None that we did not anticipate,” Bridget said. “Come. Walk with me.”
They turned to take a small turn about the drive, Bridget’s arm linked with Regina’s.
The other three turned to help Aunt Jane out of the carriage and then lead her up to the house, where Regina could see the Morrisons waiting with open arms.
“Mr. Denny has proposed to Elizabeth,” Bridget said quietly.
“Does she care for him? Or was it out of necessity?”
“She does care for him. I think that she has rather surprised herself with the force of her affection. Once she was forced to spend time with him I think she found that she liked him rather more than she had expected, and that she had formed ill judgment on him based on presumptions.”
“Yet she does not seem happy.”
“She is worried for the rest of us. She was with Louisa when Louisa was discussing things with Mr. Fairchild.”
“And what was the end result?”
Bridget sighed. “He cannot marry her, as we suspected. The original understanding that they must wait until his aunt dies still holds. From what Elizabeth has told me, Louisa tried to break off the engagement.”
“But why?”
“To save him. She loves him and wanted him to find a woman he did not have to wait to marry, a woman who is not furthermore marred by family scandal.”
“And what did Mr. Fairchild say to that?”
&
nbsp; “He refused.” Bridget’s mouth twisted up into a grimace. “He protested that if she no longer loved him he would take their breaking off in good grace but he would not allow her to make a martyr of herself to save him. He stood by her.”
“That is well for Mr. Fairchild. It speaks to his character.”
“Yes, I suppose so. Louisa is not happy. She fears that she will bring ruin to him and that their engagement will be discovered and he shall lose everything.”
“It’s not an unfair conclusion at which to arrive,” Regina pointed out.
“I know. But I think that they would only make themselves more miserable in breaking things off. There is still time yet. Mr. Denny and Elizabeth have been arranging things for the wedding. Hopefully her marriage to him will make the path more clear and smooth for Mr. Fairchild and Louisa.”
“And what of you and Natalie?”
“I am choosing tonight, as I have told you all previously.”
“And do you have someone in mind?”
Bridget did not answer that. They walked in silence for a moment, and when she spoke again, it was of Natalie.
“Our middle sister is finding that she does not have the gift of conversing seriously with a man.”
“No man has chosen her, then.”
Bridget nodded. “It is a blow. To think that you are beloved by all and then to find that when you spend a great deal of time with them they do not want you after all… it is a hard pill to swallow. I think that some self-improvement is in her future.”
“But will she be able to? With our futures such as they are?”
“Two of her sisters will be married,” Bridget pointed out. “And Louisa’s future will be secure once we are well off. Natalie will have time to come to herself, I think.”
“That sounds like rather wishful thinking, sister,” Regina replied.
Bridget gave a sad, tiny laugh. “I have nothing but wishful thinking Regina. The men that have previously made their interests known to me might have moved on after all, you know. My position is precarious as well. But what can I do? We must remain hopeful or there is nothing for us.”
Regina laid her head on her sister’s shoulder and strengthened her resolve. She would make things right. After tonight, her sisters would no longer have to fear for themselves and for their future. All would be well again.
Anger burned, hot and fierce, within her chest. She would utterly vanquish Lord Pettifier for this. She would. She had to.
“And what of you, my sweet darling?” Bridget asked. “I hope that city life has improved you somewhat.”
“I have found some confidence,” Regina admitted. “And made acquaintences. I believe you will see some of them tonight. If they allow you to recognize them, of course. There is a Lady Cora Dunhill, who has been my escort on many occasions.”
Bridet stumbled. Regina helped her to continue walking. The pathway was really quite old, with cobblestones that stuck up at odd places.
“I have also made the acquaintance of Lord Harrison, Duke of Whitefern.” There was no time like the present and she must make Bridget amenable to his proposal when it came.
“He is quite a gentleman, Bridget. Of course I cannot presume to know your mind but you said that he expressed an interest in you in the past.
“I’ve found him to be a worthy man. I know that you must choose someone tonight as you have promised. And he has been such a kindness to me. He has helped to introduce me in London and given me great instruction on improving myself. He has been as a brother to me.”
That last part was a lie, for in her heart Regina could not see him as a brother and had not imagined that was how it was between them. But that was how it was to his mind, she was certain. Furthermore it was how he would be to her once he and Bridget married. Best to start thinking of him that way now.
And who knew? Maybe if she said it out loud enough times it would become true to her.
Bridget gave a thoughtful hum. “I see. Well, I am glad to hear of it. Having a gentleman on your side can be quite helpful when moving about in social circles. It discourages rakes, for one thing.”
“I only speak because I fear that you held a rather low opinion of him, and I think that opinion to be unfair.”
“I appreciate you informing me,” Bridget said. She turned and looked to see that the others had all retreated back into the house. “Let us join the others, shall we? We will have to start getting ready soon.”
Regina nodded and allowed herself to be led into the house.
Lord and Lady Morrison were as delightful as usual. Regina was eager to embrace them and to learn of all that they had been up to.
Everyone was eager to hear about Regina and all that she had got up to on her own. She had not expected that everyone would care so much about her escapades in London. She had thought that only Bridget would ask after her.
To her surprise, however, all her sisters wished to know.
“Our little sister, off on her own and about in London society,” Elizabeth teased. “I do hope that you have some good gossip.”
Regina found that lying to them went more easily than she had anticipated. She shared stories that she had heard from Cora and the others. She talked about the people that Aunt Jane had met with as if she had been there. She described balls that she had only heard about.
“I most loved walking about in the many parks,” she confessed.
“You? Enjoying a walk?” Natalie laughed, but not in a mean spirited fashion. She sounded genuinely surprised. “Well, knock me down with a feather. I had thought you would spend the entire time wrapped up in your needle and thread.”
“I found that when one has the right company, walks can be calming and invigorating,” Regina admitted. “And I like the tame nature of the parks better than the wild lands about our country house.”
Her sisters were all eager to meet Aunt Jane and thanked her profusely for looking after Regina in London.
“Oh, the thanks must go to Lady Dunhill,” Aunt Jane said modestly. “She was Regina’s escort in going out. I fear that after calling in the morning I am far too tired to go out to balls anymore.”
“Lady Dunhill? As in Lady Cora Dunhill?” Louisa smiled. “I recall her being a frequent visitor to our house when we were children.”
“Indeed. She remembered my birth and sought to look after me as a sister,” Regina said. “Her kindness I cannot overstate.”
“We shall have to thank her in some way,” Louisa said, turning to Bridget.
Bridget, in uncharacteristic silence, simply nodded her agreement.
After the greetings had finished and the catching up had been done, and tea had been taken, it was time to get ready.
Regina had never before actively participated in getting ready for a ball. She had always waited until the last moment in the hopes that she could get out of it. Then she had been quickly done up by her maid and by Bridget, and bundled into the carriage without ceremony.
Now, however, she was getting ready with the others. She was looking forward to this ball, although not for the reasons that her sisters knew.
“London has done you well, sister,” Elizabeth said as Regina helped her to do up her corset. “It has finally made you properly sociable.”
“When do you announce your engagement?” Regina asked, in order to change the subject.
“It shall be announced next week,” Elizabeth said. “We must then allow for some months of engagement before the actual wedding day. We do not want to seem too hasty.”
“But then everyone shall hear of our disgrace before you are married,” Regina pointed out.
“There is little than can be done about that,” Bridget said. “If they marry now everyone will either suspect that Elizabeth is in the family way, or they shall assume the marriage was only because of the loss of our fortune.”
“Which it is,” Natalie cut in.
“I should not marry a man I did not esteem, and I esteem Mr. Denny in the highest,” Eliza
beth shot back. She was obviously ready to go to war with her sister over this matter.
“Natalie, do not let bitterness have a hold on you,” Bridget scolded. She turned back to Regina. “This way will only assure everyone that the marriage is done out of affection and mutual respect. It will do a credit to Mr. Denny to be seen as standing by Elizabeth in such trying times. It can only benefit everyone’s estimation of his character.”
Regina nodded. She trusted Bridget’s judgment in the matter. And it wasn’t as if Mr. Denny was going in blind. He had been there when their father had fallen.
Hopefully, however, none of this would matter. Hopefully by the end of tonight, their fortunes would be restored.
Everything was a flurry around her, sisters yelling and calling out to one another for help.
“Did you see my shoes?”
“Where on earth has my feather got to.”
“Elizabeth, darling, you must choose one of the three masks. You cannot use all three.”
“Would someone help me with my stays?”
“Natalie, can you do my corest up even tighter, please?”
It was all a whirlwind, but Regina found that she enjoyed it. It saddened her that she would not be able to enjoy it for much longer. Before long all of them would be married off. Or at the very least, Elizabeth and Bridget would be.
Once that happened, they would not all be together again, getting ready like this. Regina felt a pang of regret. She felt as though she had not appreciated her sisters as she should have. She could have had so many more of these moments if she had.
Louisa seemed to sense her inner distress, for she came over and helped Regina into her dress, her hands and face soft and loving.
“This is a lovely dress that you have chosen,” Louisa said kindly, helping Regina to do up her buttons.
“Thank you. Lady Cora and Aunt Jane—for that is how she instructed me to call her—were most kind in helping me to select the fabric and style.”
“It is a bit behind the times,” Louisa admitted, “But it suits you. The modest style is quite fitting to your character.”
