“I think I’d know if I’m hurting or not,” she snapped. And that odd little ache in her chest shifted more. Something shattered and she gasped for air as she felt a tiny little pain splinter in her heart.
“So you’re telling me you don’t feel anything now?”
Jerking away from Melissa, she stumbled over to the back window, staring outside. “Stop it, Mel,” she said softly.
“You know…Bobby and I were having problems before…”
Alexis stiffened. “Stop it,” she said quietly. “I get the point. Look, I’ll try to talk to him. Once more. Just…”
“No.” Melissa crossed the floor and when Alexis went to turn away, she caught her arm. “Listen to me. Bobby and I were having problems before he died. We were trying to work it out. Or rather he was. I was too mad to listen, but…” She shrugged, smiled. “He was getting through to me, ya know? He had that way about him and once he made up his mind, I couldn’t stay mad at him. This one time, the one time it mattered…I didn’t forgive him soon enough.”
Eyes intense, she stared at Alexis. “I can’t tell you what’s right for you, for Garrett, for your marriage. But if you still love him…if any part of you still loves him…you need to fight for him. And don’t waste time, Alexis. Because you may not have time to waste. Now answer me…and be honest. If you can’t be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself. Does any part of you still love him?”
Any sheltering numbness that Alexis might have had dissolved and the pain she felt inside nearly destroyed her. “Yes,” she whispered. Tears clogged her throat as she stared at her best friend. “But how do I reach him, Mel? I can’t keep going like we are. It’s killing me inside. He barely even sees me, it seems. Barely notices I’m there. It’s like…”
“Make him see you. Jump him in the hall. Seduce him. Be loud about it. Or be subtle. Whatever you think you need to do to make him see you again.”
Melissa gripped her hands and stared at her in determination. “But if you still love him, don’t let go. Not if you think you can make this work. If it’s over, it’s over. But don’t walk away because you’re hurt, or because you’re tired. Those are bad reasons, because all of that shit can be fixed. Walk away when it’s done. But if it’s not done?”
* * * * *
He waited until almost eleven before he left for work.
Part of him was hoping Alexis would get to the house so he took a few hours of personal time. After the nearly nonstop pace he’d been keeping the past few weeks, his commander understood, although Garrett didn’t go into detail.
But by a quarter to eleven, it was clear that she wasn’t going to be home soon and he did have to go to work. They’d finished wrapping up the loose ends on the Bayside Rapist case, but that didn’t mean it was completely over.
They still had to deal with getting the bastard locked up for life.
And there was still the hearing about bail…
Even thinking about that made him sick.
If they let that bastard out, he was going to lose it, he knew it. They had him down cold. They had solid evidence—
“Shit, I can’t wait to get out of that damn unit,” he muttered.
On his way out the door, he paused, staring at a small, framed picture of him and Lexy.
It was one they’d had taken down in Disney.
Right before…hell. Yeah, that described it. Before their perfect marriage went straight to hell. Before he’d failed her. Failed to protect her…failed to protect their family—
Sometimes he was amazed she’d stayed—
A fist hit him.
Maybe that was what last night was.
Maybe she was just done. Him missing their anniversary was the last straw…
“No.” He snatched up the picture and pushed it into his work bag. They’d held on this long. They could damn well work this out.
He’d finish up today. He’d come home. He’d damn well talk to his wife.
Shit, maybe they should try counseling. Something. He didn’t know and he didn’t care what it took as long as he didn’t lose his wife.
He couldn’t lose her.
Lexy was his everything.
“Look what the cat dragged in.”
Garrett ignored Adele.
She was hunched over reports, a donut and coffee, her short, spiked red hair the only color in her monochromatic appearance. Black suit, white shirt, pale face. No makeup, ever. Adele didn’t do makeup and she didn’t do frills.
One thing she did do was bullshit.
The sly grin on her face should have warned him.
But he was too fucking tired.
As he shoved hung up his coat, he started back to the desk. “Can’t work late tonight. Need to get out of here as soon as I can…”
He frowned.
There was a single red rose on his desk.
Just one.
“What’s that?”
Adele sighed.
“You know…you being a hotshot detective and all, I would have thought you could figure this out,” she said, leaning forward to study it. Then she lifted her head and grinned at him, her green eyes amused. “But I think it’s a flower. A rose to be exact. Somebody likes you, Marshall.”
His gut knotted.
If he hadn’t just fucked up in the worst way, he might have hoped he knew who it was from, but there was no way that was from Lexy. Not after last night.
Picking it up, he stared at the red rose. “Who brought it in?”
Adele smiled as she lifted up her pen.
“A delivery guy. Can you get that? Somebody paid for him to deliver a single red rose. I wonder how much she had to pay for that.”
“No note?”
“Nope. And he wouldn’t tell me who it was from when I tried to bribe him with a donut.” She took a bite out of the one in front of her, licking the crumbs off before she glanced at the rose. “That’s one very expensive rose, I tell you. They would have charged her out the ass for that.”
“Hell.” Dropping down at his desk, he nudged the flower off to the side.
It didn’t matter.
It wasn’t from Lexy.
And she was the only one who really did matter to him.
* * * * *
She woke from the pain-filled mess to find a red rose on the table in front of her.
A sad sigh escaped her as she reached out and lifted it to her nose.
The sweet, heady scent wrapped around her and she closed her eyes.
“You’re awake.”
Turning her head, she looked over at Garrett and saw him standing by the window, his face in shadow.
She could just barely make out the glint in his eyes, but then he moved forward and she saw his haggard face, the way his clothes hung on him, like he’d lost weight in just the past few days.
Lifting a hand, she waited for him to come to her.
“We lost her, didn’t we?” Alexis whispered.
He settled on the edge of the bed, curving his hand over her belly. With a jerky nod, he murmured, “Yes.”
Tears burned her eyes. Somebody else might have wanted to just hide away and cry and grieve for a while. She couldn’t. Not until she knew what happened.
“Can…can you tell me what happened? I don’t remember much.”
“We’d gone out to dinner,” he whispered. “We’d just found out she was a girl and we wanted to celebrate. There was somebody following us on the way home.”
She closed her eyes.
That, she remembered.
She’d seen the tense, worried look in his eyes. He’d called for backup. Hadn’t done anything stupid.
“Who was it?”
“Jim Horvath.” Garrett lowered his head to stare at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck. “He’s one of the guys involved in the gang rape on that teacher a few months ago. We picked him up two weeks ago, but he was let out on bail. He was fired from his job and his wife left him. He…”
Tears choked her.
His hand closed around hers.
“Lexy, I’m so fucking sorry.” As she leaned against him, he hugged her close. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
She sobbed, leaning on his strength as her heart broke inside her chest.
“Shhh…” he murmured, rocking her. “Shhh…we’ll get through this, baby. I swear.”
* * * * *
Alexis tried to remember when they first started drifting apart.
It had taken her a while to get pregnant.
She’d just been recovering from the miscarriage when they went out for their anniversary and he gave her the necklace. Toying with it, she stared out the window of her office and wondered if he’d remembered the rose.
He’d given it to her and said, We’ll get through this.
For a while, she hadn’t had any doubts.
But then…hell.
Laying a hand on the glass, she stared out at the white world and wondered what had happened. When had she started to doubt that? Started to think they wouldn’t get through?
She didn’t know, but she was tired of it, and starting today, she was going to do everything she could to pull her husband back to her. She wanted him back, damn it. And thanks to Melissa, she even had an idea just what she was going to do.
It was a weird plan, and she had no idea if it was going to work. Outright, brazen seductions just weren’t exactly her thing, but she could try subtle, she thought.
The rose, that morning. Her brother Tim’s wife ran a florist shop right across from the station where Garrett worked and she’d gotten Larissa to have one of her employees to leave a single red rose. It was subtle, probably too subtle, but it was the only thing she’d been able to think of right off the bat.
And she had to do something fast before she lost her nerve.
Then on her way into work, she’d stop by the bookstore. She didn’t have much on the schedule today until that afternoon when she had several family visits, so she’d thought she’d see if she could find any inspiration in women’s magazines. Cosmo and the like almost always had those crazy things…How to Be a Better Lover… Why not something on How to Seduce Your Husband?
She hadn’t had any luck there, but she’d seen the book.
Ovid’s The Erotic Poems.
Did he remember?
She didn’t know. But she remembered…
A door opened behind her and she turned around as Bethany came inside, all bounce and energy and curiousity.
“Okay. Damn it. It’s done, and girl, you owe me.”
Bethany was the only daughter of Alexis’ administrative assistant and sometimes the college student doubled as a gofer, doing some running when Alexis needed an extra hand. Granted, this was an unusual request, but not too many people at the station were likely to recognize Bethany if they saw her.
Which meant she was perfect.
Bethany had delivered the book.
“You left it on the windshield, right?”
“Yes, you pervert,” Bethany said, making a face at her. “And if my mom saw what you had me doing?”
Alexis rolled her eyes. “She’d thank me and ask me to teach you some tricks. Don’t kid yourself.”
“Probably.” Bethany laughed. “My mom despairs of me.”
“No, she doesn’t. She just doesn’t want you be alone and miserable.”
Bethany made a face. “I’m thirty-two…and I’m alone and happy. I just wish she could see that.”
Flinging herself down in one of the leather chairs Alexis had placed by the window, Bethany studied the other woman. “So why am I delivering porn poetry to your hot hubby?”
“It’s not porn,” Alexis said, wrinkling her nose.
“Okay. Why am I delivering sexy poetry to your hot hubby instead of you just giving it to him?”
Alexis blushed as she tried to figure out the best way to explain that. “Well. It’s complicated. We’ve been…”
Shrewd eyes studied her. “The two of you have been fucked up ever since you lost the baby.” She gave her a sad smile and added, “Anybody with eyes can see that.”
Alexis leaned back against the window and folded her arms over her chest. Cocking her head, she said, “True enough.”
“So why the porn poetry?”
“It’s not porn,” Alexis said again, smiling a little. Sighing, she rubbed her hands together. “Our tenth anniversary was yesterday, you know that? And he forgot. I made reservations at this lovely restaurant. I had on some slinky, sexy lingerie and wore one of these skirts that I know he loves. Bought wine that I had in the back of the car. And he never showed.”
Bethany’s eyes narrowed. “Now you better hurry up and explain why I had to deliver that damn book. That bastard.”
“Beth…stop.” Alexis turned and stared outside. “I woke up today thinking I’d find a divorce lawyer. That was what I thought I needed to do. I left the restaurant thinking it was pathetic, because I wasn’t mad. I wasn’t sad. I was just empty and that was the most awful thing. I felt empty.”
She swallowed and looked down at her ring. “But I’m not. I went to Melissa’s, got good and drunk and apparently cried a lot. She asked me this morning to think…and she kept pushing. The more she asked, the more I had to think. And the more I realized something very, very painful. I am not empty. I’ve just been hiding it.”
Rubbing the heel of her hand over her chest, she whispered, “I miss my husband. Losing the baby hurt…it hurt so much, but I miss my husband, damn it.” Clearing her throat, she said, “Anyway, you know what she kept asking? What she wanted me to think about?”
“What…buying porn poetry for that hot but sleazebag hubby?” Bethany smirked.
“No.” Alexis laughed softly. “She asked me if there was any part of me that still loved Garrett.”
“I take it some small part of you does.”
Alexis closed her eyes and lifted her hand to toy with her necklace. “No. It’s not a small part. All of me loves him, Beth. All of me. So I have to try. I know that I still love him. But I need to know if he still loves me.” Then she shrugged. “So I’m seducing him.”
* * * * *
Four fifty-five. He was out the door.
Adele was gone—she’d come in early and since he wasn’t burning the midnight oil, she’d told him she wasn’t either. She’d left a good twenty minutes ago.
He finished up the things he needed to have done and now he was gone.
The only thing he took with him this time was a little gift bag. He’d spent his lunch hour down the street at a shopping center. It was pricier than he could really afford, but he didn’t give a damn. He’d fucked up and he wasn’t staying out later to shop someplace less expensive, nor was he going home without it.
He’d gone through what he wanted to say a hundred times but nothing seemed right.
Finally, he come down to one simple thing.
I’m sorry. I fucked up. I’m sorry.
And then… We need to talk…
After that, he didn’t know, but he’d figure something out he supposed as he rounded the corner. Up ahead, he saw his truck and he moved a little faster. He needed to get home and see her. And if she wasn’t there—
Garrett stopped.
There was something on his windshield.
Automatically, he reached for the weapon at his side. The job he worked had taught him brutal lessons over the years, none more brutal than the one that had cost him his unborn child.
So he didn’t feel terribly foolish when he got close enough to see it was a book.
Just a book—
Then he went red in the face as he saw what kind of book.
The cover was discreet enough, he guessed. But the title wasn’t. The Erotic Poems. Snatching it up, he darted into his car and flipped it open, trying to figure out what in the
hell it was doing on his car.
But there wasn’t any note.
Not anything.
Just the book.
Swearing, he tossed it into the back of the truck and started the engine. A fucking flower. A book. Somebody was trying to fuck with his head and he just didn’t have time for it.
Although…shit.
He shot another look at the book and then reached over and grabbed an evidence bag out of his glove box. He doubted he’d need it, but just in case. Careful not to touch the book again, he managed to get the book into the bag and sealed it shut.
Sometimes people had a way of screwing with his life.
If somebody was going to do it again, they were going to be in for a rude awakening this time.
Chapter Three
Alexis wondered if he knew what to make of the book.
She sort of doubted it.
He hadn’t even realized the card’s quote had been from Ovid, a classical poet who Alexis had very much adored.
Ah, hapless me, Love’s arrow did but all too surely find its mark. On fire am I, and Love, and none but Love now rules my heart that ne’er was slave ‘til now.
It had almost made her tear up that year when he’d given her an old-fashioned valentine with a quote from one of the world’s classic poets.
Sighing, she stood at the stove and stared at the clock.
It was almost six.
She didn’t know why she was bothering with dinner.
It wasn’t like he’d be home before seven or eight.
But—
Front door, the alarm system chimed. Disarm system now.
Startled, she glanced up and moved away from the stove, drying her hands off on one of the towels.
When she saw him there, striding down the hall toward her, it almost hit her like a fist.
Swallowing, she turned back to the stove.
A minute, damn it.
She needed a minute.
Her hands shouldn’t be shaking like this.
Busying herself at the counter, she focused on the very mundane task of chopping up vegetables for curry. The chicken was currently browning on the stove and up until a few seconds ago, she’d been kind of hungry.
Right now, though…
Sexy Little Secrets Page 3
