Sawyer scoffed. "He'll want his revenge for the money I stole. He'll want his revenge for me running away. He'll kill me the way I'm sure he'd always planned to kill me because he blamed me when she died." A look of pure panic crossed over her face. "Wait, my mother! Does he know she's alive? She can't know? If he's not there, then where is he? Where is my father?" She placed her shaky fingers over her lips.
I cringed at the next answer I had to deliver to her. "He’s not here. If he crosses the state line, we will know first. I’m going to protect you, Sawyer. I swear with everything I have that I will keep you safe.”
"But he could come here. He could come for us." She gasped. "My mother!"
"Your mother is with Critter right now. She's safe. I promise. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her just like I would never let anything happen to you.”
Sawyer shoulders visibly dropped until she straightened like she’d rethought whatever had her slumping over to begin with. "I'm going to go to the church," she said, marching toward the door. "I'm going to tell them what a monster he is. They may not value women but they can't turn a blind eye to all the harm he's caused. If they can use the Bible to justify their actions they can use it to see how wrong they are as well.”
I pushed the door shut the second she opened it. "No, the fuck you won't. I'm going to keep you safe whether you like it or not and confronting an entire church of your father's supporters isn't in the plans."
"I have to do something! I can’t just sit here like a cow in a pasture waiting for the butcher. I have to act. I must get to him first. I have to tell someone in the church about who he is and what he is capable of!" Her eyes were wild. Crazed. “I feel like a caged animal. There is no escape. There will never be an escape.”
"Yes, there will be. But tell me this, what do you think is going to happen when you walk into that tent and accuse one of their own of things you yourself told me they may already know about. And even if they didn’t condone that sort of thing why would they listen to you? You're a defector with no physical evidence to back up your claims. Who do you think they are going to believe?"
"You're right." She shook her head. Her face was splotchy patches of red and pink over her smattering of freckles. Her shoulders deflated. She ran her fingers through her hair and tugged at the roots. "I can’t just wait for him to hurt us again. Not this time.”
"We will figure something out. We will get a plan together but you best believe I'm not letting you do something bullheaded and brave if it puts you at any sort of risk."
"But I can do this!" she argued. "I can go stop him!"
"No!" I growled, backing her into a shelf. Books clattered to the ground.
"We've been through this, Finn. Don't treat me like I'm fragile. Like I'm going to break.” She turned her back to me. “I'm not her. I'm not Jackie!"
"No. You're nothing like her," I said softly. Reaching for her, I gently grip her waist as if to remind her she wasn’t alone anymore and never would be again. "You're strong, my love. So very strong."
"Then please stop treating me like you don't trust me to handle this when I've handled so much worse! I've seen worse. If we make decisions together then help me make this one," she argued.
I tipped her chin up until her eyes found mine. "No," I snapped, trying to keep my tone as soft as possible so she wouldn’t confuse my assertiveness with anger. "That’s not happening. I trust you. I do. I just want to keep you safe and I can't do that if—”
"You can't what, Finn?" Sawyer asked. She held out her arms like she was waiting to catch whatever answer I was going to throw at her. "Because whatever it is you must tell me, tell me, because I’m tired of these half-truths that have been fed to me my entire life.”
"I can't fucking lose you!" I shouted, my words echoed off the walls and ceiling, surrounding us in the desperation of my words.
She took a step back but I held her in place. I leaned down and gazed into the depths of her eyes. With all the determination I could muster, I told her the truth. Gentler this time. "I just can't lose you. I can't go through that again. Not with you. Not ever. I just fucking can't. Don’t put me through that. I won’t recover because I refuse to live without you.”
The anger was instantly doused from her eyes and she leaned into me. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. "You won't ever lose me," she said. "But you have to promise not to treat me like I'm made out of glass or thin paper when I'm—”
"When you're really made out of piss and vinegar," I finished her sentence for her.
"I have no idea what that means," she said with a small laugh and a sniffle.
"It means that you're a force to be reckoned with. I know that, Say." I brushed off a tendril of wild hair that had fallen into my eyes. "I knew it the first moment I saw you on that road and it was confirmed when you came walking through my clearing."
She stood on her tiptoes. Craning her neck, she smiled against the skin below my ear and whispered. "It's my clearing too."
My chuckle turned into an all-out laugh as I picked me up and carried her over to a table. "I was right." I brushed a quick kiss across her lips. "All piss and vinegar."
I cupped her cheek and she leaned into my touch. Her eyes were still watery. Sad. My heart lurched in my chest. "What can I do to make this better?" I asked, swiping my thumb over her tears.
"I saw the tings tonight. The ones you'd hung for me. Right before the whole...thing with my mother." She flashed me a sad smile. "Thank you."
"It was just the truth. I actually hung them weeks ago.” I sucked in a deep breath. “I'd do anything for you, Say. Tell me, what I can do for you now? I hate seeing you like this."
Sawyer thought for a moment. "I just don't want to think about it right now. Any of it. I just want a second to breathe. To think about something else. To disappear from reality. To feel...anything else. Just for a little while." Fresh tears pooled in her eyes and I could feel the pain tightening in my chest.
Anger bubbled to the surface and I found myself clenching my fists to fight off this invisible beast of the past tormenting my girl from the inside out.
"Just take it away, Finn. Just take it all away," she whispered, placing her small hand on my chest and looked up at me with pleading eyes.
I sucked in a shaky breath. "Tell me, Say. Tell me what you want and it's yours," I whispered, pressing my lips against her neck right below her ear.
She trembled against me. The tiny hairs on her neck stood on end. Her quick intake of breath when I grazed my teeth over her skin made my pulse pound loudly in my ears. I trailed my lips to her jaw.
"I...I want..." she stammered.
"Tell me. Do you want me, Say? Do you want me to fuck you? Make you come hard that you'll forget everything, including your own name?" I threaded my fingers through her wild cascading hair. "I can do that. I can make your body feel so good that your mind can rest a while."
"Yes," she said on a moan. When our eyes connected, there was lust there as well as embarrassment at her confession when she looked away to her feet. Her face reddened.
"Look at me." I tilted her face up by her chin to make sure our eyes met once again.
She complied, but there was still hesitation in her gaze. Shame.
"What we do? Me and you?" I asked, pointing between us. "It's not shameful. The way we make each other feel? It's fucking beautiful. The most fucking beautiful thing I've ever experienced. Don't ever feel ashamed to tell me what you want. To ask me for it. I love that you want me, Say. Now, be a good girl and tell me to fuck you."
I took her wrist and guided her hand to the front of my jeans so she could feel for herself that what I was saying was true. "Feel for yourself what you do to me.”
She sucked in a sharp breath.
“You wanting me to take away your pain for just a few minutes this way is the most precious gift you could ever give me and not just your body. Your trust.” I placed a soft kiss on her eyebrow. Her temple. Her cheek.
He
r pulse quickened.
“Thank you for trusting me," I whispered before kissing her lips until we were both moaning into one another’s mouths. Her soft pink lips opened for me and her tongue greedily searched for mine as I snaked my hand up her thigh into her panties. Groaning when I found her soaking wet and ready for me, but I still needed to hear the words. " I'll give you what you need. Always. Just tell me what you want and it's yours."
"How?" she breathed, craning her neck to me. Our foreheads rested against one another as we breathed in each other's air. I was ready for her. To be with her. Inside of her. But I needed her to say the words.
"Repeat after me." I held her gaze. "I want you."
"I want you," she repeated on a whisper. I saw the raw desire in her eyes and I knew it mirrored my own.
She trembled and her eyes shut. "Look at me," I demanded. When she did, I kissed her again. Deeply, crazily. Like my life depended on keeping my mouth connected to her in some way.
I swallowed hard. "Good girl," I praised, nipping her earlobe into my mouth. I traced my thumb over her nipple through her shirt and her back arched, pushing her chest against mine. I chuckled against her neck. "Now say, Fuck me, Finn."
My eyes went to her throat where I could see her pulse quicken beneath her smooth skin. She twisted her pouty pink lips. Her hesitation only lasted a second before she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down closer so that the tips of our noses touched. Her lips feathered against mine. "Fuck me, Finn."
"Yes," I growled.
I may have been the one who told her to say those words but hearing them out of her mouth caused the raging inferno of lust within me to explode beyond control. I had a feeling I'd be hearing those words on repeat in my head for the rest of my life.
Fuck me, Finn.
I lifted her up onto the nearest table and pushed her onto her back. I tore her panties off in one tug and while I devoured her with my eyes, I somehow managed to concentrate enough to unbuckle my belt and push my jeans down over my ass, freeing my throbbing cock.
Sawyer moaned when I parted her legs, stepping between them. The sound was pure fucking heaven. Our tongues danced while we drank each other in. I savored the way her body felt against mine. Hard against soft. I dug my fingers into the flesh of her perfectly round ass before moving them to her pussy where I parted her warm wet folds and strummed her swollen clit because Sawyer was my instrument of choice and only I knew how to play her to perfection.
The look on Sawyer's face when I inserted a finger inside of her was as if I'd just given her a drug. She was high on the pleasure. Her lids were heavy. Her pupils large and dark. I was dead set on making sure I wrung every bit of pleasure from her gorgeous body and I gave her exactly what she’d asked me for.
An escape.
And if anyone knew a thing or two about escape, it was me.
Sawyer writhed against my hand, dripping down my wrist. Her pussy tightened around me and I groaned, wishing I'd felt that on my cock. I hooked my arm around her waist and dragged her to the edge of the table. "Ride my hand," I ordered on a strangled rasp. Lost in sensation, she glanced up at me for only a second before she began rotating her hips against my hand which was still furiously fucking and strumming her in every place that made her moan.
Her eyes rolled back in her head when her first orgasm crashed over her. The sound of her screaming my name echoed across the room. Her pussy clamped around me so hard that I didn't know if I'd be able to pull my finger back out.
Fuck it. It didn't matter. I'd gladly keep it inside of her forever.
I pushed her back on the table again and parted her folds with the tip of my cock then again, I tugged her body down to sheath me in her tight pussy.
She tossed her head back and pressed her lips together. She must have become aware of how loud she'd been screaming after she came the first time because she was holding back on me.
"No one can hear you and who the fuck cares if they can? Let it out, Say," I rasped, seeing stars as I pushed through her clenched pussy until I was as deep as her body would allow. "This is me and you, remember? You can do no wrong. Scream. Shout. Claw. Bite. But don't hold back. Don't ever fucking hold back on me." I pulled out halfway then pushed back in with a hard thrust.
She opened her mouth and the most amazing sound came out. A half moan half scream that almost had me coming inside of her instantly. I felt dizzy from it. I wanted to record that sound and listen to it over and over again.
Sawyer had awakened feelings inside of me I never thought I'd feel again and it was like once she opened the bottle the lid could never be put back on. Because my desire for Sawyer, my love for her, was the strongest thing I'd ever felt. Each time we came together was better than the last. Each time it fused us together more and more and I knew by now that our future was the kind that only ended in forever.
Our eyes met as I found my rhythm. Each time I pushed in she'd buck against me, pulling me in deeper and deeper until I couldn't help but to pound harder until there was no discernible rhythm. Just pleasure and moans and the slapping of skin against skin. When I felt her clench around my cock, my vision went white. The pleasure shot up my spine and when she cried out and contracted around me over and over again, she milked every last drop of cum from my pulsing cock.
Along with every last drop of love from my heart.
I laid there, with my girl sleeping in my arms but I couldn't enjoy the moment. My gut told me that soon we'd both be wishing that our temporary reprieve from reality was a lot more permanent.
Chapter 4
Finn
When I woke up the next morning I reached for Sawyer, but the only thing I met was mattress. I sat up in bed and was met with the smell of bacon. I made my way out of the room to the small kitchen in her little house and was taken aback by the buffet that was waiting for me on the counter. Along with the bacon were scrambled eggs, toast, juice, coffee, and hash browns.
My stomach growled.
What surprised me more was Sawyer who still hadn't noticed my presence. I stood there for a few moments. Watching her. Observing. Not only was she cooking up a storm, flitting from one cabinet to the other to get what she needed, she was also humming along to the song on the radio.
This wasn't the same girl from last night. I was confused and felt on edge watching this new Sawyer prance around the kitchen.
"What's all this?" I asked.
She turned around and almost dropped a plate but recovered quickly before setting it down on the counter. "You startled me," she said with a big beaming smile and I knew right away that something was amiss. "I thought I was supposed to be the one who didn't know things. This is breakfast of course."
"I didn't mean to startle you," I said, coming up behind her and wrapping my arms around her. I planted a kiss on her head before releasing her. "And I can see this is breakfast, but I was talking more about the humming and cooking and your overall demeanor, not the food." I grabbed a piece of crispy bacon and took a bite, my eyes almost rolled back in my head with the salty goodness.
"I like this song. The singer's name is Beyoncé. Have you heard of her?" Sawyer asked. She pronounced Beyoncé (Bee-Yon-Chee) and I couldn't help but smile.
"I think I might have heard of her once or twice," I answered, taking a seat at the counter. "But what I meant was, last night, you were pretty upset, and now?" I gestured to the counter and to the radio.
She smiled but it was a forced smile that barely more than a line on her face. "Nothing. I'm going to work," she said with a shrug. And that's when I saw it. The void in her eyes. The vacant space where so much life used to live. It was like she was running on idle.
"Work?" I asked. I shook my head. "Not today. Today you need to go talk to Critter about your mom. Maybe, go see her."
Sawyer averted her eyes shook her head. She set a pan in the sink and turned off the faucet. "No. Not yet. Not today."
"Say, you can't just go about your day as if last night never happened. It's a
lot to take in. I think you can take the day off."
She looked at me as if I were the one acting strangely. "Right now, I'd rather focus on this. Breakfast. Being happy." She looked at me. "With you."
I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. "I love that you want to be happy with me because fuck all knows that's all I want in the world. But I know how it goes when you push that shit down deep inside instead of letting it out and you know what happens?"
"You wind up living with the crazy girl from a religious sect in the middle of the swamp?" she asked, pressing a kiss to my jaw.
"Cute. But seriously, back up, 'cause that shit don't work. Trust me. Go talk to Critter. To your mother," I said, feeling more than just a little uneasy about her playful attitude when just last night she was about to lose her shit. "You can't just ignore this, Say."
"Sure," she said, planting another kiss on my lips. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder. "Just not yet."
"You're infuriating. Hang on, at least let me drive you," I offered, grabbing my t-shirt from the chair and tossing it on over my head.
"That's okay. Stay. Eat. I can walk. Besides, I told Josh I'd stop by her place before my shift."
"Just as a reminder we still don't know if it's safe," I said, pulling on my shirt and grabbing my keys. "Until then you're not walking anywhere alone."
"It's not a big deal," she said, reaching for the door. "You don't have to walk me. I can take care of myself."
“Yes.” I stood in her path. "But you don’t have to. You’re not going anywhere. Not alone. I meant it when I told you that I can't lose you." The fear raging inside of me was so real it was almost tangible. If only she could feel a fraction of what I was feeling she’d understand the reason for my demands.
It’s only because I’m terrified of losing you.
"You're not my mother, Finn," she said with a vacant expression on her beautiful face that made me want to punch a hole through the wall.
"No. I'm not." I leaned against the wall, crossing my legs at the ankles. I shrugged. "Why don't you go talk to her?"
The Outskirts Duet Page 23
