Alex followed her into the kitchen and set the platter on the counter. “I know you’re upset. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” She sprayed water over a plate and shoved it in the dishwasher.
Obviously that wasn’t true. He stepped up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder.
She flinched and pulled away. “Don’t touch me.”
He froze. “What?”
She turned and faced him, her dark eyes burning like molten lava. “You heard what I said.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t make much sense.”
“It does if you’re leaving.”
Heat flashed up his neck and into his face. He squared his shoulders. “So that’s what this is about. You listened in on my phone conversation.”
She bristled. “It seems like that’s the only way I’m going to find out what’s really going on.”
“That’s not true.”
“Why do I find that hard to believe?”
“Because you’re upset and blowing this out of proportion.”
The color drained from her face. “You said you wanted a relationship with me. You convinced me you cared about us. And all the time you were making plans to leave as soon as you got another job offer.” She pulled in a shuddering breath. “When were you going to tell me you’re moving to Chicago?”
“Wait a minute, Annie—”
“Why? Why should I wait around for you to lie to me again?”
Fire flashed through him. “I never lied to you. I didn’t say anything about Chicago because I wanted to get all the facts first.”
Disbelief hardened her expression.
“I’m telling you the truth. This is not a done deal. It’s just a possibility.”
“And what if they offer you the job? Are you going to take it? What about the bakery? How am I supposed to manage it by myself?”
He lifted his hands. “I never promised I’d stay in Fairhaven and manage the bakery with you.”
“But that’s what we talked about. That’s what I thought you wanted.” A sob cut off her words, and her face crumpled.
“Annie, please don’t cry.” He couldn’t take that.
“I’m not crying.” She swiped a tear from the corner of her eye.
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know this job with Hyatt was going to come up so soon. I thought we’d have time to launch the bakery and figure things out before I had to make a decision.”
“A decision?” Her eyes widened.
“Yes. I have to decide what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, and a big part of that is where I want to live and what I want to do.”
“Where you want to live...what you want to do? That’s really what’s most important to you?”
“I didn’t say that.”
Annie shook her head, disbelief in her eyes. “I thought you’d finally figured out that people and relationships are more important than where you work or live. But I guess I was wrong about that. I guess I was wrong about a lot of things.” She turned away and started vigorously scrubbing a pot.
“Annie, if you’d just calm down, we could talk about this like reasonable adults.”
She gasped and threw the scrubber in the sink. Hot water splashed them both. She spun around, and fire flashed in her eyes. “No! I’m done talking to you about this or anything else.” She ran out of the kitchen, and two seconds later her bedroom door slammed so hard it shook the house.
He stared after her, his heart pounding out a painful staccato beat.
Chapter Eighteen
A driving rain lashed Alex’s bedroom window early Tuesday morning as he slipped on his suit jacket and turned to face the full-length mirror. Wearing his suit for the flight to Chicago might not be such a good idea, especially in this stormy weather, but the only other choice was cramming it in his carry-on. And that didn’t make sense. He had to go straight from the airport to the Hyatt corporate offices for his two-o’clock interview.
A knock sounded at his closed bedroom door.
His pulse jumped. Was it Annie? Had she finally decided to talk to him before he left? “Come in,” he called.
The door opened and his grandmother stepped in, wearing her blue bathrobe and a worried frown.
Alex pulled in a sharp breath. “Gram, you’re not supposed to climb those stairs.”
“I know, but I had to talk to you.”
He turned back to the mirror, guilt pressing down on his heart.
Gram walked over and brushed her hand across his shoulder. She looked into the mirror and caught his gaze reflected there. “Are you sure about this, Alex?”
He clenched his jaw and released it. “No, I’m not sure. But the only way I’m going to find out is to go to Chicago for this interview.”
“But what about Annie?”
The ache in his chest deepened. “What about her?”
“She’s obviously upset. I’m sure she doesn’t want you to go. Can’t you talk to her?”
“I’ve tried, Gram. It doesn’t help.”
She sank down on the edge of his bed, her rounded shoulders sagging. She looked up at him with a pale, weary expression. She hadn’t looked this bad since he’d brought her home from the hospital.
A painful shaft of guilt cut through his heart. He knelt in front of her and took her hand. “Please, Gram, don’t worry. It’s just an interview. I haven’t made up my mind yet.”
“But once they talk to you, I know they’ll hire you. They’d be crazy not to.”
Emotion tightened his throat. “Thanks, Gram. I love you. You’ve always been there for me.”
“I love you, too, and I’ve always told you the truth.” She clasped his hand more tightly. “It’s important for a man to have a career and make his way in the world, but that’s not the only thing that matters. Love and relationships outweigh that every time. At least they should.”
He looked down. “I know, Gram.”
“Then why are you walking away from everything and everyone you have here?”
He closed his eyes and pulled in a deep breath. Hadn’t he asked himself that same question a thousand times? “This is an important decision, Gram. I have to be sure.”
She nodded slowly, then reached out and tenderly touched his cheek. “Well, you have my love, wherever you decide to go, even if it’s Chicago.”
They both stood, and he hugged her to his chest.
* * *
Raindrops splattered against the glass of Annie’s bedroom window as she watched the cab driver load Alex’s suitcase into the trunk.
Sheltered by a black umbrella, Alex walked down the porch steps and across the stone walkway toward the cab.
Her vision blurred, and memories carried her back in time. She stood at her childhood bedroom window once more. That day had been sunny, but the same piercing sorrow had cut through her heart as she watched her father climb into his old green truck and drive off, leaving her and her mother behind.
“Where’s Alex going?”
Annie blinked and pulled in a quick breath. She hadn’t heard Emma walk into the room. “He’s going to Chicago on a business trip.”
“What kind of business?”
“I don’t know.”
“When’s he coming back?” A hint of fear crept into her daughter’s voice, the same fear Annie had felt so long ago.
“I’m not sure.” She shivered and wrapped her sweater tighter around herself, but it couldn’t protect her from the chill in her heart.
“But he said he would take me to see the Christmas lights.”
Annie swallowed. “He said a lot of things.”
Emma looked up at Annie with painful questions in her eyes.
Regret tore
at Annie’s heart. She reached down and scooped up her daughter up for a hug. “I’m sorry, Emma. I’ll take you to see the lights.”
“But I want to go with Alex.”
“I know, sweetie. I know.” Annie closed her eyes and hugged her daughter tightly. She wanted that, too, more than she could say, and it made her decision that much harder.
* * *
Irene’s eyes grew misty, and she clutched Annie’s hand. “But I don’t understand. Why would you leave?”
“I’m sorry, Irene. I just think it’s best if we do.”
“I am getting stronger, but I’m not sure I’m ready to take on everything you’ve been doing for me, not yet.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to. I’ll come over for a few hours every day to do laundry, cleaning and as much cooking as you’d like. I can drive you to appointments or anywhere you need to go, but I can’t stay here any longer.”
“But how will you manage? Where will you go?”
“My friend Lilly said we can stay with her.” Annie swallowed, not really sure how she would cover all her expenses without the income she’d been earning caring for Irene. Moving again would be difficult, especially for Emma, but she didn’t want to be here when Alex returned from Chicago—if he returned.
“What about the bakery?”
“I’ll oversee the reopening and stay on until you find someone to replace me, but I can’t be your full-time manager.” She pressed her lips together to keep from saying, I’d share that job with Alex if he cared enough about us to stay in Fairhaven. She didn’t want to hurt Irene any more than she already had, so she kept those painful words to herself.
“I wish you’d reconsider. I’m sure the doctor will let me drive soon. I could help take care of Emma and drive her to and from school while you’re working at the bakery.”
“That’s sweet of you, Irene. But I’m afraid managing the bakery on my own would be too much for me to handle.”
Irene sank into a chair. “This is because of Alex, isn’t it?”
Annie’s heart contracted. “What did he say?”
“Nothing! How am I supposed to understand what’s going on when neither one of you will tell me?”
“I’m sorry, Irene.”
“I’m not trying to be a snoop. You don’t have to tell me the details, but can’t you just talk to him and work this out? I know he loves you. I’m sure of it.”
Annie leaned back against the kitchen counter and shook her head. “Alex doesn’t love me, not really. If he did, he’d stay in Fairhaven instead of running off to Chicago for the first job that comes up.”
“Going to that interview doesn’t change the fact that he loves you.”
Annie crossed her arms and stared out the kitchen window. She couldn’t let someone who wasn’t committed into her heart and life. The cost was too high.
“Honey.” Irene walked over and laid her hand on Annie’s shoulder. “I know you’ve been hurt before. You told me about your father leaving when you were a little girl.”
Emotion swept through Annie, and her throat burned.
“You never shared the details about Emma’s father, but I know he’s not involved in your lives, and that has to be painful for you.”
She gave a slight nod. She didn’t love Kevin, not anymore, but his desertion still hurt.
“I wonder if those painful memories are making it hard for you to see things clearly with Alex.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sometimes we bring unresolved hurt from the past into our present relationships, and that distorts things and makes us see everything and everyone through that lens of pain.”
Annie thought about that for a moment. “So you think I’m overreacting?”
Irene gave a slight shrug. “Maybe a little.”
Annie moaned and rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know what to think.”
“Why don’t you stay and give Alex another chance? He’s not perfect, none of us are, but I’m sure he loves you.”
“What if he wants to take this job and move to Chicago?”
Irene closed her eyes for a moment, then lifted her gaze to meet Annie’s. “If you love him, then maybe you should consider moving there, too.”
Annie stared at her. Move to Chicago? Leave Fairhaven and start over in another big, impersonal city with no guarantee that things would work out with Alex? She shook her head, feeling more miserable than ever. “He never told me about Chicago. I overheard it in a phone conversation.”
Irene closed her eyes. “Foolish boy,” she whispered under her breath. Then she gripped Annie’s hand. “When love’s at stake, someone has to be the first to show humility and wisdom. Promise me you’ll pray on this and ask the Lord to show you what to do.”
Annie wrestled with that commitment in her heart, but Irene was right. Praying and waiting for God’s direction was much smarter than making a decision based on painful memories or present fears.
She looked at Irene. “All right. I’ll pray about it.”
* * *
Alex stared out the streaked and steamy cab window. Dirty gray snow lined the sidewalks, and bits of trash blew past on icy gusts. People wrapped head to toe in coats, hats, scarves and gloves bent their heads into the wind and trudged through downtown Chicago. No wonder they called it the Windy City.
The cab crawled along at a turtle’s pace while horns blared and the song “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” poured from the cab’s radio speakers.
Alex glanced at his watch, then leaned left and scanned the traffic ahead. “Do you think there’s an accident?”
The cabbie looked over his shoulder. “Can’t tell. It’s like this most days.”
“Really?” Alex shifted in his seat and suppressed a groan. Lack of sleep, a bumpy flight and an empty stomach were doing a number on him. “How long do you think it will take to get to 312 South Wellington?”
“Can’t say with this mess in front of us.” The cabbie twisted the radio dial, then turned it off with a huff. “I should’ve listened to my wife and stayed home today.” He glanced at Alex in the rearview mirror. “You married?”
Annie’s face flashed through his mind, and his stomach clenched. “No.”
“Too bad. But you’re young. You’ve got time.”
Did he? He was going to turn thirty in February. He’d always thought he’d be married by then. But he hadn’t felt ready to make that kind of commitment...until he met Annie.
“You got kids?”
“No, thought I’d wait and find a wife first.”
The cabbie chuckled. “Good idea. Me, I’ve got two kids.” He grinned as he flipped down his visor to reveal two pictures. “That’s my son, T.J. He’s eight. He’s a good little soccer player. And that’s my daughter, Emily. She’s six.” He tapped his daughter’s photo. “She sings like an angel.” He shook his head. “And I promised I’d come to her Christmas program today, but I don’t think I’m gonna make it.”
Alex frowned. “What time’s the program?”
“Two-thirty.”
He glanced at his watch. “You’ve still got forty minutes.”
The cabbie shook his head. “I’ll never make it unless this traffic gets moving.”
Visions of Emma flashed through his mind, her dark eyes sparkling and her happy smile focused on him as she sang at her class Thanksgiving program. Did she have a Christmas program coming up? Would he miss it while he was away on this trip? His chest tightened, and he shifted his gaze to the window.
A tall Christmas tree decorated with hundreds of brightly colored lights and ornaments came into view in front of the building at the corner. A mother and father approached, holding hands with a little girl about Emma’s age. The father lifted her up in his arms so she could have a closer look and touch one of th
e large ornaments.
Pain seared his heart. He closed his eyes, blocking the poignant image from his view.
“I hate to disappoint my little girl,” the cabbie said.
Alex’s eyes flew open. Leaning forward, he tapped the back of the cabbie’s seat. “Just let me out here. I don’t mind walking the rest of the way.”
“You kidding? It’s at least another mile, and it’s freezing out there.”
“That’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Go to that program. Be there for your wife and daughter. That’s what counts.” Alex fished a twenty and a five out of his wallet and passed them to the cabbie. “Keep the change.”
“Thanks.” He looked back and grinned at Alex. “You’re a good man. You saved my neck today.”
“No, you saved mine.”
* * *
Annie sank down in the overstuffed chair and let her gaze travel around the bedroom. Her packed suitcase stood by the door. A cardboard box sat beside it, holding her cookbooks and a few other items she’d collected in the past six weeks. She’d felt so at home here. The possibility of leaving cut a painful swath through her heart.
Maybe she didn’t have to go, at least not yet. She’d promised Irene she’d pray about her decision, and she intended to keep that promise.
Closing her eyes, she quieted her thoughts. Lord, please help me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Is Irene right? Have I let the hurts of the past distort what’s happening with Alex?
She sat for a few minutes, waiting until a sense of peace and confirmation settled over her heart.
She needed to let go of the pain from her past and forgive those who had hurt her. Surprise rippled through her. She thought she’d forgiven her father and Kevin—at least she’d voiced those words in prayer.
A portion of a message she’d heard months ago came to mind. The pastor said forgiveness wasn’t a onetime event; it was an ongoing process. He compared it to an onion, saying each time another layer was peeled away and painful memories return, we needed to forgive again and release that pain to the Lord. She picked up her Bible and came to a section in Colossians she had underlined sometime in the past. “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another,” she read. “Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Snowflake Sweethearts Page 17
