“I don’t think I want children,” Marzina said. “You have to invest too much of yourself in your offspring. Like you, Grandmother, I am selfish.”
Ilona reached out and stroked her granddaughter’s silken head. “You are faerie, my darling child. Pure faerie.”
Aye, she was pure faerie, but she shouldn’t be, Marzina thought. Not with a mortal for a father. But perhaps, as neither her twin brother, Taj, nor her sisters Anoush and Zagiri had magic, it was Marzina alone who had inherited their faerie mother’s magic. They were long gone, of course. Sometimes it was as if they had never existed at all, Marzina considered, feeling a prick of sadness. Of course her big brother, Dillon, the king of Belmair, was all magic having had Kaliq for a father. And he lived.
Kaliq. How she had lusted after him, and if the truth be known, she still did. In her vivid imagination none of her lovers, mortal or faerie, could equal Kaliq. But he had made it very clear he wanted nothing from her, not even a single evening of pleasures. How it had wounded her pride to have him refuse her. He had done it gently at her first approach, but she had persisted, Marzina recalled, flushing angrily at the painful memory, until finally taking her by the hand he had brought her to a group of his brothers, saying, “This bitch is in heat. Cool her unseemly ardor.”
What had followed had been a night such as Marzina had never known before or since. The Shadow Princes came by their reputation as magnificent lovers honestly. She experienced pleasures heretofore unknown to her, and her lust had been eased. But having tasted such passions Marzina had never stopped wondering about what pleasures with Kaliq would have been like. She never knew who told her mother of her attempted seduction of Prince Kaliq, but Lara had sought her daughter in the forests of Hetar and excoriated her cruelly for her behavior.
“It is bad enough you would betray me, my daughter, but to embarrass Kaliq, who had been so good to you is unforgivable!”
“’Twas he who approached me,” Marzina lied. She was frightened by the way her mother was looking at her.
Liar! Do you think I do not know Kaliq, Marzina, that I would believe that ridiculous falsehood? Did you learn nothing from me? From your father? Magnus Hauk was the most honorable of mortals. When did I ever behave so disgracefully? You ought be ashamed of yourself, my daughter. Lara’s words spoken in the silent language of magic were far more stinging than if she had voiced them aloud.
But something in Marzina would not let her apologize to her mother. Instead she glared haughtily at Lara and said, “You may think what you will, Mother. I know the truth of what happened.” Why could she not admit her fault and ask her mother’s forgiveness, Marzina wondered to herself. But she could not.
She could still see the look of anger and disdain in Kaliq’s bright blue eyes when he turned her over to those half-dozen Shadow Princes. Not that she hadn’t enjoyed herself with them, but it would have been better if he had beaten her and banned her from Shunnar. As it was, she hadn’t been back since. And she envied Lara Kaliq’s love and devotion. What they had together went beyond mere magic.
“How long has it been since you have seen your mother?” Ilona said, breaking into the girl’s thoughts.
Marzina shrugged. “A few years, Grandmother. Taj’s Farewell Ceremony. I could hardly believe that old man on the bier was my twin brother. Still he remained a handsome man like our father.”
“Go and see your mother, child,” Ilona told her granddaughter. “That pride of yours will be your downfall. Tell her you are sorry. Lara’s heart is generous, and she will forgive you, Marzina. She loves you.”
“Kaliq will never trust me again, I fear,” Marzina said. “And I must admit to you, Grandmother, that I still find him attractive, and intriguing.”
“Have you accepted the fact that he will never be yours, child?” Ilona asked.
Marzina nodded, and there was no guile in her now. “I know he is Mother’s,” she admitted with a dramatic sigh of regret.
Ilona laughed. “It is always difficult losing your heart to someone who loves another. But you are young, and you will survive. Now go and see Lara.”
“I will think about it,” Marzina said. Then she disappeared before her grandmother’s faerie green eyes leaving her mother-of-pearl comb behind upon the velvety deep green moss.
Ilona shook her silvery-gold hair impatiently. The breach had to be healed between her daughter and her granddaughter. Something was about to happen, to change. She sensed it. Her faerie subjects felt it. The forest felt it. She had met recently with her counterparts in the faerie world. King Annan of the Water Faeries; King Laszlo of the Mountain Faeries; and Gwener, Empress of the Meadow Faeries. They, too, anticipated something momentous coming. But no one could imagine what it was. “Humph!” Ilona said aloud and, snapping her fingers, appeared before her daughter and Kaliq, who were sitting in Shunnar’s main garden in the twilight.
Seeing the purple smoke that always presaged her mother’s arrival, Lara quickly arose. “Mother! How nice to see you,” she greeted her parent.
“You have to make peace with Marzina,” Ilona said bluntly.
“Good evening, Ilona. Please sit and join us,” Kaliq said, assisting the faerie queen to a comfortable chair. Taking a cup of berry frine from the air, he handed it to her.
“Kaliq,” she purred at him. “You are always so welcoming. Now tell Lara she must heal this breach with Marzina.” She sipped from her silver cup.
“Lara makes her own decisions, Ilona, and you well know it. What has Marzina done now that you are insisting she and her mother be reunited,” Kaliq asked candidly.
“Marzina has done nothing for once,” Ilona said. “It is just that I feel something is about to happen. Something of import. Something that will require us all to be united. Given Marzina’s paternity I want her to remain on the side of the light,” Ilona told them.
“So you sense it, too,” Kaliq said quietly.
“We all sense it, in the meadow, in the mountains, in the water,” Ilona told him. “The feeling is palpable, though we know not what it is.”
“It is Kolgrim,” Lara replied. “He intends to take a bride and sire an heir.”
“What!” Ilona was surprised. “I thought he was to do that on the Darkling, his half sister, Ciarda.”
“He tried for three mating cycles, but she failed him. He killed her, Mother,” Lara said. Then she explained the murders Kolgrim had committed afterward.
Ilona was horrified. “He surpasses his father in evil,” she remarked. “But who is this bride he means to take? And when?”
“We know nothing now, Mother. We are seeking to learn what we can. One of the Shadow Princes listened for several months but could learn nothing other than what we already knew,” Lara told her parent. “Kaliq and I must go to the Dark Lands ourselves if we are to find out who the unfortunate girl is. We will attempt to prevent the marriage, of course. The longer we can keep Kolgrim from marrying the better.”
Ilona nodded. “Of course,” she said. “You must prevent your dark son from taking a wife and siring an heir. But first you must take Marzina back into your heart, Lara. She needs you.”
“Then let her come and apologize to me for lying. I will let the rest pass for she has always been impulsive in her nature, but I cannot forgive the lie she spoke unless she asks, Mother. You know that you would not forgive it. What if Marzina had attempted to seduce Thanos, and then told you it was the other way around.”
“Seduce Thanos?” Ilona’s tinkling laugher bubbled up. “I would never believe such a thing, Lara.”
“Nor did I believe that Kaliq had attempted to seduce Marzina,” Lara countered. “Would not the lie have angered you, Mother?”
Ilona’s laughter died away, and she said, “Aye, it would. To disparage Thanos, who has been so good to Marzina, would be quite dreadful, Lara, even as her charge against Kaliq was quite wrong. I understand your anger, but you must forgive your daughter. If the darkness is once again on the move, Lara, then we do not
want Marzina tempted into it. And given who her real father was, it could happen. We have done our best to make Marzina strong and good, but she still has a broad streak of recklessness that she needs to learn how to control.”
Suddenly Kaliq reached out his arm seemingly into the air. The fingers of his hand closed partly, and with a sharp pull he brought Marzina into their midst. “We have an eavesdropper, it would seem,” he said. His look was one of deep concern. “How long have you been listening, Marzina?”
Marzina’s pale face was drained of its little color. She looked to her grandmother. “What did you mean given who her real father is, Grandmother?” Her young voice was shaking, and her violet eyes were wide with her fear.
Lara reached out to grasp Kaliq’s arm. Her fingers dug hard into the muscle. Ilona made a small sound, not quite a whimper, not quite a moan. Her eyes desperately sought Lara’s.
“Magnus Hauk was my father, wasn’t he?” Marzina’s young voice was pained.
Lara drew a very deep breath then let it out with a sigh. Letting go of Kaliq’s arm, she reached for her youngest daughter, drawing Marzina into a gentle embrace. “Do you know how much I love you, impossible child?” she said, and she stroked the dark head. “Even when you do foolish things, and lie boldly to me, I still love you.”
Marzina looked up at her mother. The warm arms about her were comforting, and she felt safer than she had in decades. “Oh, Mama, I am sorry,” she said. “Kaliq did not approach me. I approached him, and when he rebuffed me I was angry. I did not mean to lie, but I have admired him my whole life.”
“I know,” Lara said softly. “You are forgiven your lapse, my darling.” She kissed the top of Marzina’s head.
“But what did grandmother mean, Mama? Magnus Hauk was my father, wasn’t he?” Marzina’s eyes questioned Lara anxiously.
There was no way she could escape telling Marzina the secret she had kept for so many years. “You and Taj were born from my womb on the same day,” Lara began. “You were believed to be fraternal twins. And Magnus Hauk believed that you were his child as was your brother. But you were not his child, Marzina. Newly pregnant with Taj, I was violated upon the Dream Plain by Kol, the Twilight Lord. You are his daughter,” Lara told her youngest child.
“No!” Marzina cried out, and she looked to both Ilona and Kaliq to tell her it was not so, but they did not speak.
“There is more,” Lara said, “and you must know it. Long ago as I summered in the New Outlands with the clan families, Kol, the Twilight Lord, kidnapped me and robbed me of my memories. He believed I was his chosen mate, and I believed I was his wife. He impregnated me with his son. Twilight Lords can only sire a single male heir although they can have many daughters. Kaliq helped restore my memories and told me that it was planned that I bear a son for Kol who would cause chaos within the Dark Lands. By means of my magic, now restored to me, I divided the child into two children. And indeed the birth of Kolgrim and Kolbein did cause eventual anarchy in the Dark Lands. I returned to my own life. The memories of the months in which I was gone were removed from us all to protect us. But Kol began invading my dreams, seeking to bring me back. Kaliq finally had to tell me what happened and restore the memories of my time in the Dark Lands so I might protect myself, because Kol was threatening to tell Magnus what had happened. I, however, told him first.”
“What did my fath-what did the Dominus say when you told him?” Marzina asked her mother. She looked so vulnerable, so broken at that moment.
“He was furious. His pride was crushed. He railed at me, at Kaliq. At one point your grandmother threatened to turn him to stone he angered her so greatly,” Lara said. “But then his anger and hurt cooled, for your father loved me.”
“Do not call him my father!” Marzina cried. “He was not my father! My father was some monster who forced his seed upon you!” And she began to weep bitterly.
Lara wrapped her arms about her youngest child and, holding her tightly, rocked her back and forth. “Magnus Hauk never knew the truth of your conception, my darling. He believed himself your father, and he was your father. The only father you ever had.”
“I am the Twilight Lord’s sister then,” Marzina said slowly, and suddenly she remembered a time long ago when she had first gone to live in the forest with her royal grandmother. She had learned how to transport herself by magic, and in her excitement had appeared in Lara’s privy chamber, surprising her. Marzina had found her mother in conversation with two young men, but Lara had quickly magicked them away with little explanation. “That first time I learned how to transport myself…” she began.
“Aye-” Lara nodded “-I remember.”
“I gained barely a glimpse of the two men with you. Their faces were identical, but one was dark, the other light.” Marzina cudgeled her memory. “Which one of them became the Twilight Lord, Mother?”
“Kolgrim, the one with the golden hair,” Lara replied.
“What happened to the other, the dark one?” Marzina persisted.
“Kolgrim imprisoned him with their father in a cell fashioned by the Shadow Princes,” Lara explained. “Neither of them will ever be free.”
Marzina felt cold. Tears still ran down her face, staining it, but she paid little heed to her tears. In these past few minutes her entire world had been turned upside down. “Then that is why I am all magic when neither Anoush, Zagiri or Taj had any magic at all about them,” Marzina said thoughtfully.
“That is why,” Lara told her, stroking the long black hair.
“Both light and dark inhabit my soul,” Marzina remarked. “And the balance must be kept. Is that not so, Mother?” She looked into Lara’s face.
“It is to be hoped, Marzina, that the light will overwhelm any dark within you, for in the battle to come we will need your help, too,” Lara said.
Marzina was silent, and then she finally spoke. “Now I understand why I do the reckless things I sometimes do.”
“No one is perfect,” Lara answered her. “Even in the magic world. There is always a balance.”
“How can you love me?” Marzina asked brokenly. “He forced himself upon you.”
“It is true that you were not conceived from love,” Lara told her youngest daughter candidly, “but from the moment I laid eyes upon you I loved you, Marzina. And Magnus loved you. Your whole life you have been surrounded by love, and it is love that makes you strong, and will keep you strong.”
“But if fath-if the Dominus had known the truth, Mother, would he have loved me? If he knew my sire was evil personified, could he have loved me?”
“Yes!” Lara spoke without hesitation. “He would have loved you no matter. That I know for certain. Your father’s heart was a large one for a mortal, Marzina.”
Suddenly the Queen of the Forest Faeries spoke. “Well, Marzina, now you know the consequences of eavesdropping. I hope you have learned your lesson. When I think how we have all struggled to protect you over the years, and are you any better for the knowledge you have gained this day?”
“I am sadder, Grandmother, but I am wiser,” Marzina answered. “Now I will work harder to overcome my sire’s heritage.”
Lara hugged the young faerie woman. “There is far more of the light in you than there is dark,” she said. “But one thing, Marzina. Kolgrim does not know the truth of your heritage. If he learns it, he will attempt to turn you to him. He is very charming and very persuasive. But he is far more wicked than his father ever was. Be warned.”
“I hope she will listen to you now as she never listened to me,” Ilona said irritably.
Lara shot her mother a fierce look, and seeing it, the Queen of the Forest Faeries laughed aloud. “It is not funny, Mother,” Lara said.
“Oh, but it is, my darling,” Ilona said. “You have at long last perfected my look of disapproval and righteous indignation. You did it quite well, Lara.”
Now Marzina giggled and Kaliq began to chuckle. Even Lara smiled as she saw the humor in her mother’s words. The
worst was over for now. Marzina knew the terrible truth of her birth, but with constant reassurance and love she would recover and be all the stronger, Lara was certain. Kaliq’s voice broke into her thoughts.
“Marzina, your mother and I would like you to make your home with us,” he said.
“But I am a Forest Faerie,” Marzina began, then she stopped. “I don’t think I know where I belong now,” she admitted.
“You belong with your mother for now,” Kaliq told her. “You belong in the light and sun of our desert.”
“I need to be alone with this,” Marzina said frankly.
Ilona looked worried at her granddaughter’s words. This had to have been a terrible shock for Marzina, but it was true that she needed time to come to terms with it.
“I have the perfect place,” Lara said with a smile.
“She should come back to the forest with me,” Ilona insisted.
“Nay,” Lara said. “She should be allowed the privilege of my own special place.” Lara looked to Kaliq, who smiled and nodded.
“Aye, ’tis perfect, my love,” he agreed.
“Where is that, Mother?” Marzina wanted to know.
“Zeroun,” Lara told her.
“That isolated oasis?” Ilona said. “It’s hot and sandy. Nay, Marzina needs the cool green forests to restore her spirit!”
“I think it is Marzina who must decide,” Kaliq said. His eyes met Lara’s and she nodded imperceptibly. Kaliq then caught Marzina’s hand, and they disappeared.
Crown of Destiny Page 8
