“Colton, we have to get out of here!” Bobby let go of the door and backed towards the exit.
“I’m right behind you.” Colton backpedalled as quickly as he could. As he got closer to the exit, the light from the streetlight illuminated his three pursuers.
The first man was still as hideous as before, except now he had three bullet holes in his chest. The woman had two bullet holes in her, and Duffy had one bullet in him. None of them looked even slightly fazed by the injuries. When Colton shot the first man, they must have passed through him and struck the other two. There was a tight grouping where the first man’s heart was. Two of the bullets had went through and struck the woman in the collarbone, and right in the nipple. There was now a hole instead of a nipple, blood oozed out of the wound with each step. Duffy was struck in the hip, and it looked by the way he limped that the bone had been shattered. It was just proof that bullets always take the path of least resistance, and so they just didn’t fly straight after they hit someone. In theory if they did then there should have been an equally tight grouping, instead they had gone in very different directions.
*Clang-Clang*
“Let me out!” Achmed yelled through the door. When there was no response he twisted the handle and it opened slowly. He was already far behind everyone, and so he scrambled past his three undead patrons with his bat in one hand, and the slurpee in the other.
Bobby swung the door open, and Colton backed out. Then, right before he closed the door, Bobby reached inside and grabbed a mop. He closed the door, and then slid the mop handle through the door handles in order to trap their pursuers inside. Then he and Colton moved farther away.
Achmed was the first to the glass, “My friends. You are both being so silly. Come back inside, and we’ll all laugh about how silly this all is while we eat you.” When he realized that both men weren’t eager to come back inside, Achmed tried to sound as persuasive as possible, “I have hummus.”
Bobby and Colton kept backing away towards their Explorer. Both men kept their weapons pointed at the entrance. The full moon was sitting high overhead, and they could see the four inside staring back out at them. It was as if everything had suddenly decided to work together against the two men. Even the truck that had been blasting out annoying pop tunes refused to give them a break as it reached the end of the cd and then shuffled. A few seconds later more cheesy pop music started playing. “Fuck it! I can’t take any more of this teeny bopper bullshit!”
*Bang*
The stereo was finally quiet. “Colton, I hope you got a plan?” Bobby asked nervously.
“Run like hell, and hope they stay locked inside.” Colton spat out as he tried to will his legs to run away. Unfortunately his mind was still fighting to process everything he’d seen in the last few moments, and so he could barely keep his legs underneath him as he backed away in terror.
“Oh no no no my friends. You will not be leaving so soon I think.” Achmed said with a playful grin before pushing against the glass door until if gave way. The thick glass shattered, and fell all over him, leaving countless cuts in his face and body. One particularly large piece of glass was imbedded in his shoulder. “Now come back here my friends.”
“Holy shit!” Bobby screamed and drew a bead on Achmed’s chest.
*Ka-blam*
The spent shell twirled out into the night as it was ejected so that another could take its place in Bobby’s shotgun. The pellets, along with the silver jewelry he’d loaded on the ride over, struck Achmed dead center, and he jerked back with the impact. “Please do not be doing that again.” Achmed asked patiently before sipping from his slushee. Under the moonlight the men could finally see what the man had in the clear slushee cup. It was a frozen slush of blood and chunks of what they assumed to be a person.
“There goes your werewolf theory.” Colton muttered to his friend before firing five more rounds into Achmed’s chest. By the time the fifth round ripped through Achmed’s chest, it was nothing more than a shredded, pulpy mass. Bobby fired once again and the pellets hit the already damaged area, and tore large holes all the way through, but he kept walking towards them.
Achmed’s grin got wider as Duffy and the other two spread out to try and encircle them. There was no sense of urgency on their part as they slowly tried to corral Bobby and Colton. Colton fired another five rounds. Three of them into Duffy, two of those into his knees, and the third went into his shoulder. The fat man’s legs folded backwards, and he fell hard onto his butt. The impact caused him to drop the leg he’d been chewing on so vigorously. It wasn’t long before he began to crawl towards them. One round hit the woman in the stomach, and she giggled as if he’d tried to tickle her. The final round struck the man missing the lower half of his face. The bullet went through his forehead, and tore off part of the back of his skull. He collapsed immediately, and lay still.
“Zombies?” Bobby said as if trying to piece everything together. A sly grin grew on his face as he aimed carefully for the woman, “You think you’re gonna eat me you zombie piece of shit!” The woman nodded and leaned forward to attack when Bobby pulled the trigger, “Let me change your mind!”
The shotgun belched out, and instantly the woman’s head was a red mist. The two remaining zombies froze. Achmed looked down at Duffy, and Duffy twisted his body so that he could look up at Achmed. The realization that they could be killed sank in, and instead of playfully pursuing their prey, both undead men turned and went after Bobby and Colton with determined hunger.
Colton aimed at the crawling fat man, and fired a round that went through the skull. Duffy collapsed on the ground. He wouldn’t be getting back up. Meanwhile Bobby backpedalled and aimed for the dot on Achmed’s forehead. Then as he pulled the trigger he said in a particularly bad Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!”
Achmed’s eyes were wide with fear as he realized what was about to happen, and less than a second later most of his face was missing. The only thing left attached was his left ear, and that side of his face. The rest was reduced to pulp, or blown off completely. Achmed dropped his slurpee, and his bat. Then collapsed on the ground.
Colton glared at his friend, “Really?”
“What?” Bobby grinned.
“You know what. I mean come on, did you have to make fun of the way he talked. He was a nice guy. I mean that was just plain rude.”
“He was trying to eat us, I’m not too worried about offending his delicate sensibilities. Besides you think anybody that gives you free food is nice.” Bobby laughed.
“That isn’t the point. I mean can’t you be a little more sensitive about stuff like that.”
“Stuff like what?” Bobby feigned ignorance.
“Oh I don’t know. Maybe saying stuff like retard strength, and making fun of Achmed. You know Sarah hates it when you say stuff like that. She says it makes you sound like a dumb redneck.”
“I really don’t think that’s what she said, and if she did…well shit, in case you haven’t noticed all these years…I am a dumb redneck. The nine fingers should have been a fucking clue, and the last time I checked high society didn’t exactly welcome men who build septic tanks for a living with open arms.” Bobby grinned. “More importantly, in case you forgot, you’re a dumb redneck too, and a ginger. If you watched any more NASCAR we’d have to pull one of those hippie intervention things.”
“Okay, maybe Sarah didn’t actually say you sound like a dumb redneck, but it does upset her when you say insensitive stuff like you do. She loves having you around, but some of the crazy shit you say really does bother her. Can you at least try to be a little more sensitive towards people?”
“Sure…” Bobby said, and then a grin crawled across his face, “Oh…Colton. I think it’s happening. I can feel it…I’m feeling more sensitive as we speak. I’m like this close to having my period.” Bobby held up two fingers about an inch apart.
“Asshole.” Colton grumbled.
“Oh that hurts and offends me. Should we cuddle until we make up? D
o you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?” Bobby laughed.
“Just get in the SUV…Jesus!” Colton rolled his eyes.
Bobby laughed, “Oh sure, insult me and boss me around. Words hurt you know, but I see how it is. Colton?”
“What?”
“Why can’t I quit you?” Bobby laughed and reached for the door handle.
Colton growled and was just about to answer when a fireman’s axe imbedded in the side of the Explorer. Both men turned, and saw the firemen standing on the opposite side of the gas station parking lot. In the distance they could even see the two paramedics shuffling towards them.
“I’m empty.” Bobby said nervously.
“Yeah, I’m almost empty to.” Colton said as he had his hand on the door handle.
“Stay and fight?” Bobby asked. At that very moment another fireman’s axe whirled just past his face, shattering the passenger window and denting up the door.
“Fuck no! Let’s get out of here while we still can.” Colton snapped as he swung open his door.
Both men jumped inside. The firemen began running towards them, even the paramedics picked up the speed of their waddle. As they accelerated, the paramedic’s organs started falling out of their arms. It was like they were trying to carry their laundry, but they just had too much to hold. Colton twisted the key, and the explorer roared to life. He threw it in drive and peeled out of the parking lot before the firemen could catch them.
The firemen looked down at the bodies that had been their fellow zombies. Then looked at eachother. Esteban kicked Duffy’s body over to get a better look, “Damn…well boys nothing to eat here. Let’s go back to the engine and see if we can’t find ourselves a snack.” He then turned and led his men back towards their fire engine.
Chapter Thirteen
Debra Kuhn drove down the highway. The engine in her purple 1986 Mustang GT was roaring like an incredibly old lion with asthma. She’d saved up her money, and it’d been her first really big purchase with the money from her job. That was almost twenty years ago, and she just couldn’t bring herself to let the car go. As embarrassed as she was to admit it, the car was her baby. It had been repainted three times, and she had to replace the engine twice. From the sound of her car, it sounded as though she was well on her way to replacing the engine again.
The knocking of the engine was starting to get on her nerves. She reached down and turned on the radio to drown out the sound of the engine. As loud as it was, there was still a faint knock from the engine, but she was trying very hard to pretend it was just part of the song.
The DJ came on and said a bunch of painfully generic sentences about how hard his radio station rocked, and how badass all the stations’ listeners are. Debra had driven all over America, and some things were always the same everywhere she went. The local rock stations’ fans always were the best, they rocked the hardest, and their female fans were the hottest.
Debra laughed and said, “It’s just a good thing that rock is so amazing, because it really has to cover up a lot of lame crap.”
Mercifully, the DJ announced the next song. Unfortunately, it was some local band that Debra had never heard before in her life. It wasn’t just that it was an unknown, it was that it was a really bad unknown. The lead guitar seemed to forget the beat, and sometimes he just sort of wound down like he was tiring out. The drummer was decent, as long as he didn’t try anything too complicated. Unfortunately there was a random drum solo that came up during the song that left a lot to be desired.
“Why does every DJ have to try and be hip and relevant by playing crappy local bands? I wouldn’t mind if they were even slightly decent, but these guys suck ass.” Debra reached up and fingered through the cd’s she had in a carrier on her visor. A flash of silver fell down. “Dammit!” She reached down under her seat to find the rogue cd. The search took way too long, and finally in frustration she braced her knee against the steering wheel so that she could lean over and dig the cd out. Her head dipped down under the dashboard briefly before coming back up. The silver disc slid into the stereo, and before long 80’s hair bands were pumping out from the speakers.
Debra grinned as she guided her car back into the correct lane, but her grin didn’t last long. Red and Blue lights flashed in her rearview mirror. “Damn! Damn! DAMN!” She yelled before pulling over on the side of the road. She waited for someone to come to her window, but was still surprised when one of the officers finally tapped her window to ask for her license and registration. “Was I doing something wrong officer?” She asked innocently even though she knew she was driving twenty miles over the speed limit in the wrong lane.
“Step out of the car ma’am.” Officer Redford ordered politely. His flashlight shining in her face made it impossible to see the man talking to her.
Debra sighed. She was still an attractive woman, but even she knew her best years were behind her. Wrinkles were starting to settle in, and gray hairs were becoming more than just an occasional nuisance. Certain parts didn’t defy gravity the way they had when she was in her early twenties. Still, she had a way to go before she’d be considered old, and unless she was kidding herself, she most likely had a much farther way to go before anyone would think she was ugly. Well, it won’t be the first time the twins got me out of a ticket. Debra thought to herself. She carefully turned away from the officer to unbuckle her belt. Before she turned back to step outside, Debra unbuttoned two more of her shirt buttons. Girls…don’t fail me now.
She opened the drivers’ side door, and then stepped out carefully. “Isn’t there some way we can WORK THIS OUT?” Debra said in her most seductively feminine voice.
“Turn around ma’am.” Was the only thing Cletus Redford said before pulling his cuffs out from off his hip.
“Really? I’m going to jail? What for?” Debra asked.
“It’s just a safety precaution ma’am.” Deputy Pocky said as he walked up to her.
“I don’t really think that’s necessary officer. I mean I was just speeding right? It’s not like somebody died right? Hahaha…haha…ha…” Her forced laughter stopped as the first man closed the cuffs around her wrists.
“Do you have any weapons?” Deputy Redford asked without the slightest hint of humor.
“N-n-no sir.” She stammered.
“Any drugs?” Deputy Redford asked.
Deputy Pocky moved closer. In fact both men were standing far too close for her personal comfort. She could smell their aftershaves. Cletus Redford’s Aqua Velva tickled her nose. Bob Pocky grabbed her roughly when she sneezed. She’d never had a man grab her like that, and without thinking she tried to pull away. The deputy yanked back, pulling her arm out of socket as he threw her to the ground. Her head bounced against the rear wheel. Debra’s mouth hurt, and something hard was between her cheek and gum. After a few moments she spit out part of a tooth, and then felt around for the broken molar. Blood was already running down her chin. “Fucker! I hope you know I have a damn good lawyer.” Debra snapped. It was a lie. Her ex-husband had a damn good lawyer. He got the house, the kids, and somehow he even got the business she had built before they were married. In return for all that she got about twelve thousand dollars in legal fees.
When Debra got scared, she got angry, and right now she was very scared. Her shoulder was throbbing, and her mouth ached. She swallowed the blood in her mouth, and tried to remind herself that they were two cops. Fighting the cops was a no win situation. They’d already hurt her, and who knew what else they might do out here in the dark where nobody would see. She wasn’t scared anymore…she was terrified.
“Oh, someone’s got a big time lawyer. Whatever shall we do?” Cletus Redford’ voice was actually playful.
“Your lawyer won’t do you much good out here.” Bob taunted. Debra was trembling, which just made her shoulder hurt worse. The worst part for her was not being able to see the men’s faces. They were still shining their flashlights down at her, and it was all she could do to make out their
silhouette. She leaned over and spat some excess blood onto the pavement, and then watched in horror as Deputy Redford dove onto the ground and began to lick up the blood. Cletus’s tongue slid across the pavement in long, greedy slurps. “Stand up!” Pocky ordered as he kicked one of her feet for emphasis.
“I-I can’t.” Debra sobbed. It was true. Her dislocated arm was practically useless, and even trying to turn so that she could use her other arm was agony.
“Women…”Bob rolled his eyes and snatched her by the hair. She screamed as he jerked her to her feet. Her dislocated shoulder flopped helplessly as she was pulled upwards. Pain seared through her shoulder, followed by nausea. Almost immediately she vomited. Pocky growled in disgust as he looked down at the splattering that now covered his shirt and pants.“Dammit! I just had this dry cleaned.”
Cletus Redford licked the last bit of blood off the pavement, and then rose up behind her. “Yummy.”
“P-p-please don’t hurt me. I’ll do anything…anything. Just…please.” She begged with tears in her eyes. Both deputies closed in until they were pressed against her from both sides. They were surprisingly gentle in how they held her. Both buried their faces into opposite sides of her neck, and then began licking and nipping. “O-o-o-kay. Just please don’t hurt me anymore.”
Debra thought the men were going to use her for sex. The thought terrified her, but she steeled herself as much as possible. She knew there’d be pain, especially considering her shoulder. In her mind she kept repeating to get through this, get to safety, and then get to a hospital. She was tough, and readied herself for what she thought was coming. It was only when both men started to bite down that she realized she wasn’t about to be raped.
She screamed as teeth tore through skin. Both of the men had found the carotid artery on each side of her neck, and then they kept chewing. Blood spurted into their mouths, and they started to getting rougher with each bite. It was pure torture, but mercifully she passed out after thirty seconds. Her heart kept pumping blood into the hungry deputies’ mouths. She shook and trembled between them as her body started to go into death spasms. Still the men chewed their way deeper into her throat. She was dead within two minutes, and still they kept chewing.
Uncle Gary's Campfire Stories: Bayou Zombie Werewolves Page 14
