“Oh. Have you been waiting?”
“No. Mom is away for the evening, and I wanted to see if it was okay with you if we had our meal in the kitchen. I hope you’re going to say yes, because I’ve already sent Cook home.”
“Of course it’s okay with me.” In fact, Christina was happy about the change. Even though the dining room of the Saddler hacienda was very beautiful, she preferred a smaller, cozier setting to eat her meals, especially when there were only two people present.
“Good.” He wrapped an arm through hers and began to escort her down the remaining stairs and in the general direction of the kitchen. “Would you like a drink first? Since Mom’s not here, Cook didn’t make margaritas, but I can shake something up.”
Just the scent of him, the touch of his hand and the smile on his face were shaking her up. Much more than a splash of tequila. She wondered what he would think if he knew that. “Actually, I don’t normally drink anything alcoholic.”
He glanced her way. “If having it around bothers you, you should have told us.”
Shaking her head, she said, “I don’t expect people around me to be prudes, and I even drink spirits occasionally—you saw me drink a margarita the first evening I was here. But my father is a recovering alcoholic. Each time I take a sip, I think of what he’s gone through.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. How is your father doing now?”
She gave him a tentative smile. Talking honestly about Delbert Logan was something new for her. As a young girl, she’d often lied to her friends so they wouldn’t know about her father’s condition. Later on, as she’d grown into womanhood, she’d avoided talking about him altogether. Now, she sometimes had to remind herself that her father was becoming a different person. For the first time in her life, she could speak proudly of him. “He’s not had a drink in over five years, and he’s working at a good job. I never thought he’d find the determination to turn his life around, but he has. And that makes me very happy.”
By now they were in a hallway that led to the kitchen, and when he paused and turned to her, she was suddenly reminded that the two of them were entirely alone in the big house.
“I’m glad for you, Christina,” he said, with a gentle smile. “And I apologize if I was prying. You didn’t have to tell me all that about your father. You could have told me to mind my own business.”
The idea that he understood how difficult it was for her to talk about her father’s problem suddenly made it all very easy, and she gave his arm a grateful squeeze.
“It’s all right,” she quietly assured him. “It’s nice to be able to say good things about my father. I only wish my mother could get herself on a better track.”
“What does that mean?”
She urged him to keep walking toward the kitchen, and as the two of them strolled along, she said, “It means that my mother is nothing like yours. She’s been married six times. Who knows? The next time I call her, it might be seven.”
“Whew! And I was concerned about Mom marrying a second time.”
She sighed. “Your mother is a steadfast saint compared to mine.”
“What’s up with your mother and all the marriages?”
Christina shrugged. “She’s looking for something to make her happy,” she said wearily. “Unfortunately, she believes she’ll find it in a man.”
“Ouch. You sound very cynical. Do I need to apologize for being male?” he teased.
She tried to laugh. “No. Just never compare me to my mother. I’m not a man hunter.”
“That’s not true,” he countered as they reached the swinging doors of the kitchen.
Halting in her tracks, she turned an offended frown on him. “I beg your pardon?”
“You are hunting a man,” he explained. “Your brother.”
She visibly relaxed. “Oh. Yes. But that’s different.”
Taking hold of her hand, he passed his thumb softly, sensuously over the back of it. “So what you’re trying to tell me is that you’re not looking for a husband?”
Her head bobbed jerkily up and down as a nervous lump thickened her throat. They were walking on treacherous ground, and the fact that there was no one around to interrupt them made her even more wary. “That’s right. Setting out to deliberately find a spouse is…well—”
“Unromantic?”
“Yes. Love doesn’t happen by design.”
The dimples in his cheeks made Christina wonder if he was finding her attitude very amusing, or if he was simply enjoying this intimate exchange with her. Either way, her heart was fluttering so madly, she wondered what was keeping her from fainting.
“And you think love is an important ingredient for marriage?” he asked.
Just hearing him say the word “love” was enough to steal Christina’s breath. Which made her feel like even more of an idiot for reacting so strongly to this man. “It’s the essential ingredient. Now, do you think we can go in to our supper? This conversation is ridiculous.”
His smile slowly turned suggestive. “The conversation might be senseless, but this isn’t.”
Christina was trying to make sense of his words when she suddenly found his hands on her shoulders and his head lowering to hers. Stunned by the idea that he was about to kiss her, she mentally shouted a warning to herself to turn her head, to step back and away from him. Yet her body refused to obey the signals of her brain. Instead, she felt her chin lift and her lips part before the totally male taste of him shattered her senses.
Like a merry-go-round moving ever so slowly, Christina stood stock-still, her breath stuck somewhere in the middle of her chest as his lips made a soft, thorough foray of hers.
Heat rushed through her body, setting off tingling explosions along her skin, behind her eyes, even in the tips of her fingers. Mindlessly, she began to kiss him back, began to want and need the connection to continue.
She was drifting to some sweet, heavenly place when he finally lifted his head. The shock of the separation instantly jerked her back to the reality of the dimly lit hallway and his serious face lingering just above hers.
Licking her burning lips, she hauled in a hoarse breath. “Maybe you ought to explain what that was all about.”
With a forefinger beneath her chin, he closed her mouth, then traced the curve of her upper lip. “You might not be looking for a man, Christina, but I’m looking for a woman. And I’m trying to figure out if the woman I’m looking for is you.”
Chapter Four
Confusion swirled inside Christina. She couldn’t deny it was flattering to have a sexy man like Lex attracted to her. Yet she realized the foolishness of taking him seriously. He could have most any woman he crooked his finger at. Besides, her work was her life now, she reminded herself. Mike had cured her of trusting another man with her happiness.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not for the taking,” she said quietly.
The disappointment that flashed in his eyes was at complete odds with the teasing curve to his lips. “Who says?”
She’d already heard through the ranch’s rumor mill that he was every bit as much a playboy as his flirtatious manner implied. And she supposed some women would find him an exciting challenge. But Christina had learned the hard way that changing a man’s fundamental values was impossible.
“I do. I didn’t come here for your entertainment.”
Shaking his head with dismay, he said, “I wasn’t thinking of you as my entertainment, Christina.”
His kiss had been like a violent earthquake to her. But not for anything would she let him know the upheaval going on inside her. It was too embarrassing.
“Really? I got the impression you think I hand kisses out like chocolate drops,” she said dully. Then, turning away from him, she pushed through the kitchen doors.
He was quick to follow, and she tried her best to ignore his giant presence as she walked over to their waiting supper, which was laid out on the long pine table.
“Christina, I suppose I should apologize to you
. But I wanted that kiss. I snatched it. And it felt too damn good to feel sorry about. I do apologize if I upset you.”
She was making too much of an issue out of the kiss, she told herself. The best way to deal with it and him was to keep things light. But how could she do that when the taste of his lips had woken some sort of latent hunger inside her? Now, each time she glanced at his face, all she could think about was kissing him. “At least you’re honest—I appreciate that.”
He eased down in the space across from her. Then, after studying her for long, tense moments, he released a heavy breath. “Do you think I’m a bad guy or something?”
Christina reached for her napkin and hated the fact that her fingers were still trembling. She didn’t want to be vulnerable to any man. Especially a devil-may-care guy like Lex Saddler.
Keeping her eyes averted from his, she smoothed the piece of white linen across her lap. “No. I’ve heard rumors about you, but I don’t deal in rumors. I make up my own mind about people.”
“Rumors? Who’s been talking about me?”
“No one in particular,” she said carefully. “But I’ve made my way around the stables, and some of the hands have tossed a few innuendos around. You have a reputation for liking the ladies.”
His brows arched innocently. “Is anything wrong with that?”
There wasn’t anything wrong with his fondness for women. He could have all the girlfriends he wanted. That was his business. Just as long as he didn’t decide to lump her into the same herd.
“Not as far as I’m concerned. That’s your business.” She forced out a pent-up breath as he passed her a small wooden bowl filled with Caesar salad. “And as far as you and me and that kiss—let’s just forget it and eat our supper. Okay?”
A sheepish smile slowly crept across his face. “I’m happy to hear you’re not going to hold it against me for being a red-blooded man.”
She rolled her eyes while trying to forget the feel of his lips moving against hers. “As long as you remember that the connection between us is only business, we’ll get along just fine.”
When he had kissed her a few minutes ago, her giving lips certainly hadn’t felt like business only, Lex thought. But he wasn’t about to point out that little issue to her now. He didn’t want a mad hornet on his hands.
Digging into his own salad, he wondered what was coming over him. It wasn’t his style to steal a kiss. He didn’t usually have to steal them. Normally, his female counterparts were more than willing to share in a bit of physical pleasure.
But it was becoming plain to him that Christina Logan was totally different from the women he’d known in the past. She wasn’t amused or charmed by his mere attention. No. He was going to have to show her that there was more to him than a wink and a grin and a few nights of bliss between the sheets.
“You might think that way, Christina, but I can’t. I already consider you my friend.”
Her attention remained on her salad, but he could see the stiff line of her shoulders visibly relax. She looked extra feminine tonight in a white peasant blouse and a tiered skirt of yellow printed calico. Her red hair was looped atop her head and clamped at the back with a tortoiseshell barrette. Silver hoops dangled from her ears, and the tiny cross she always wore dangled near the hint of cleavage exposed by the low neckline of her blouse. Just looking at her set his senses on fire.
“I can handle being your friend, Lex.”
But nothing more. She might as well have spoken the words out loud, because he could feel them hanging in the air between them. And for some reason, Lex didn’t understand; he felt totally deflated.
“I, um, I’m sorry if you thought…well, that I was thinking you were a man hunter like your mother,” he said awkwardly. “I mean, not that being like your mother is a bad thing, but—”
She looked up at him. “You don’t need to tiptoe around the truth, Lex. There’s no way of saying it kindly. Being like my mother is not a compliment.”
“Is that why you’ve never married?” he asked more soberly than he’d intended. “Because your mother has been through so many marriages?”
“Obviously, marriage isn’t a sacred union to her,” she said, with a hint of sarcasm, then shook her head. “I shouldn’t have said that. Mother did try—she and Father remained together for fifteen years.”
He swallowed a bite of salad before he pointed out, “You didn’t exactly answer my question about why you haven’t married.”
“How do you know I haven’t been married before?” she asked.
Lex shrugged. “I don’t. I just assumed. Have you?”
She glanced away from him, but not before he spotted sad shadows in her eyes, shadows that could only have been put there by a man. And for a split second, Lex wished he’d not asked her anything so personal. For some reason, he didn’t want to think that she might have loved another man so much that she’d wanted to marry him.
“No,” she answered. “I got close once. But it didn’t work out, and now that I look back on that relationship, I realize I made an escape.” Sighing, she turned her blue eyes back to him. “To answer your question, I suppose a therapist would say my mother has warped my view of marriage. But in my opinion, that’s hardly the reason that I’m still a single woman. I just haven’t met the right man. A man that wants the same things I want.”
From what she’d said before, he knew she believed love was the essential ingredient for marriage. She was obviously a romantic, who still believed there was some man out there who’d perfectly meet all her requirements. Well, he was a romantic, too. He’d always wanted to find love. But while he understood how to do all the gentle, flowery things that impressed most women, as for love? Other than his family, he’d never met anyone who even made him consider placing that much importance on another human being. He’d tried, but it had just never happened.
“Maybe your mother isn’t looking for love, Christina,” he suggested. “Could be that she’s searching for financial security. Some women value that above everything.”
She pushed aside her salad bowl and reached for the main course, a piping hot casserole dish full of lasagna.
“Money is something that Mother has never lacked. She has plenty to last her the rest of her life. No, her lifestyle stems from—other issues,” she added glumly.
Christina’s disclosure more than surprised Lex, although, he wasn’t exactly sure why. Rich folks in South Texas were as common as mosquitoes after a summer rain. Still, he’d not expected to discover that Christina had come from a wealthy family. She didn’t seem the pampered sort. Especially knowing that she’d worked in law enforcement for nine years. But then, he had to remember that his own sisters hardly needed to work to support themselves, yet Nicci filled her days with doctoring patients, and Mercedes had served eight years in the military. Money or not, everyone needed a purpose.
“Well, as far as Mom goes, she’s not looking to Wolfe Maddson for security, either. I guess she thinks she loves the man,” he added skeptically.
“Thinks? Lex, Geraldine is not the sort of woman who would marry for any other reason. Surely you can’t think otherwise.”
He ladled lasagna onto his plate. “No. But I—” He looked at her and wondered why he was talking to her about such things at all. Family issues were something he never discussed with girlfriends. But something about Christina seemed to pull things from his mouth before he even realized he was going to say them.
“Well, I’ll just come out and say it,” he went on. “It irks me to think that she could possibly care for the senator in the way that she did my father. Can you understand that?”
Her features softened. “Very much. But you shouldn’t be thinking in those terms, Lex. From what I can see, no man could take your father’s place in Geraldine’s heart. She’s only making room for a new love.”
“I do want her to be happy,” he admitted. “And for a long time now, I could tell she was lonely.”
She had to admit that Lex Sa
ddler was a walking contradiction. His actions implied that he didn’t want to be a family man, yet he was just that. He’d devoted his life to a family job. She could see from his words and actions that his sisters and his mother, even his cousins, were more important to him than anything. So why wasn’t he married? Was he turned off by the idea of a wife?
Forget those questions, Christina. Toss them out the window with the rest of your foolish dreams.
“I guess having your kids around doesn’t fill all the gaps,” he added wryly.
“No,” she sadly agreed. “If it did, Retha wouldn’t be working on husband number seven.”
Nearly a week later, just before sundown, Lex and Matt were riding home from a far west pasture, where they’d been searching most of the afternoon for a bull that had failed to appear with his usual herd. It was past supper time, and Lex figured Christina and his mother had already eaten without him.
That was more than okay with him, Lex thought a bit crossly. Sitting across from Christina, mooning after her like some sick little bull calf who’d lost his mother, was not his style. He needed to snap out of this mental fog he’d been in since the P.I. had arrived. So what if she wasn’t interested in falling into his arms? She would soon be gone from the ranch, anyway, and then she’d just become a dim memory.
As the horses picked their way through prickly pear and green briars, Matt said, “I don’t know about you, but I’m dog tired. When we get back to the ranch, I’m going to try to talk Juliet into giving me a back rub.”
“Humph,” Lex snorted. “I doubt you’d end up getting any rest after a back rub from your gorgeous wife.”
A tired grin spread across Matt’s face, and Lex felt a spurt of envy. What would it feel like to know that he was going home to a loving wife? That she’d be at the door waiting, with a kiss and a smile?
Hell, what was he pining about, anyway? Cook was always there to pinch him on the cheek and serve him a good meal. And she didn’t give him any wifely orders with it, either.
“You could be right about that,” Matt agreed, with a chuckle, then glanced thoughtfully over at him. “You’ve been awfully quiet on the ride back. I thought you were happy about finding the bull. You ought to be. We hadn’t seen him in over a week, and you gave twenty-five thousand for him. I thought he was too damned skinny for a price like that, but I’ll grant you, he’s spreading out really nicely now.”
Cowboy to the Rescue Page 5
