“Thank you for your time, Michael. I will give all of this some thought and get back to you as soon as possible.” Ray stood and shook Michael’s hand.
“It was nice meeting you, Ray. I will be waiting to hear from you.”
Ray left his office with a horrible feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He had a lot of information to digest; a lot of pros and cons to go over. The biggest question in his mind at the moment was whether or not he could actually stay in this marriage. Did he really have a choice? Ray sat behind the steering wheel of his car and just stared at the parked car in front of him. He resisted the urge to scream.
~~~
Amanda wondered how the attorney appointment was going. She knew Ray was so nervous about this. Sometimes she really had to wonder if he really wanted a divorce. Her best bet was to stay out of it…let him decide for him self and be there if he needed to talk.
She looked at the clock on her office wall. She decided he would be back to work by now; she wanted to give him a call. She fished out her phone card…she was spending a fortune on these things!
Ray picked up on the first ring, “Ray Knight here.”
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Hey, me, how are you. I’m glad you called. I needed to hear a friendly voice. So what’s up?”
“Nothing’s up. I just wondered how your appointment with Mr. Mahoney went. Was it awful?” She hoped she wasn’t being too pushy. She realized this was a very personal thing for Ray, she hoped he didn’t feel she was being intrusive.
“I think it went well. I learned a lot about the obstacles I’m going to face. It’s definitely not going to be easy, but I still plan to go ahead with it. The timing of it may have changed a bit, but I do think it’s doable.” Ray didn’t really feel like going into the specifics. It was too depressing.
“How has the timing changed?” Amanda rolled her eyes. Damn, she was nosy. She couldn’t seem to help herself.
“I’m definitely going to need more cash. It’s going to be expensive to move out, to pay for the attorney, to pay Carrie. It’s quite a long drawn out process. I’ll probably be in for quite a battle, which my lawyer says I will probably lose. He didn’t exactly paint a rosy picture for me today. It was a bit overwhelming.” Ray held his head in his hands. He was feeling awful about the outcome of today’s appointment. It was a losing proposition. He never thought getting a divorce was the equivalent of raking him over the coals. But nonetheless, that seemed to be putting it mildly.
“Are you okay Ray? You sound really down.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m just a bit shell-shocked.”
“Is there anything I can do?” She felt so helpless. She hated to hear him so depressed and wished she could cheer him up a bit. He was being a bit sketchy about his appointment and she sensed he didn’t want to get into it any more than he already had. She decided for once not to force the issue.
“Nope, just hearing your voice helps. What are you doing today?” He wanted to change the subject. He needed to sort all this out in his own mind before he could rationally discuss it with her.
“Nothing much, just going home to the kids. So tell me, have you seen your email lately?” Ray had never mentioned receiving her picture.
“No actually I haven’t. Not since I had to make my rash departure. Sorry about that, by the way. I had a visitor.”
“Oh, I wondered what happened. I thought my kissing suggestion made you uncomfortable.”
Ray laughed, “There is nothing I want more than to kiss you, Mandy. That would never make me uncomfortable. Why did you ask if I had checked my email?”
“As promised, I sent you a picture. I just wondered what you thought. I have to admit I’m a little nervous.”
“Really? I can’t wait to get home to check it out. I wish I could access my account from here. I’m so excited! Thanks, Mandy.”
“You’re welcome. Have you put your picture in the mail yet? Turn about is fair play you know.”
“I haven’t developed the pictures from the shore yet. As soon as I do, I’ll send one. Of course I’ll need your address, and last name.”
Amanda gasped. She had never thought of that! It was one thing giving him her phone number, but now her address? She wasn’t sure it was a good idea, but she didn’t know why. She trusted him. She was going to have to discuss this with…God only knew who. Hilary? No, she would have a fit. Maybe Blossom…she did promise to run things by her before doing anything rash. This might just be one of those things. She would call her tonight. “I’ll send it to you when you get your pictures developed. Write me as soon as you see my picture, if you don’t go blind that is.” She giggled.
Ray laughed with her. “Whatever, you nut. Get back to work. I’ll write you tonight. Thanks for calling.” Ray felt better after talking with her. He was happy she called.
“Later, dude.” Amanda hung up the phone. She was happy for once not to have to end it with the obnoxious phone lady telling her too. She went back to work.
Ray literally raced home after work. He was sure he had broken every law in the book! He was thrilled he was finally going to be able to put a face to that sexy voice he loved. He just knew he would love it.
He arrived home to an empty house. This was too good to be true. He wondered for a split second where everyone could be, but then, rather than waste precious moments, he ran to the computer and turned it on. It was taking forever…he kept pressing the keys to help it along, which of course was not helping at all. He took a deep breath. Relax, he told himself. He sat back in the chair and patiently waited.
“You’ve got mail”. There it was. He clicked on Mandy40’s mail and waited. He was so nervous. There was her letter. He skimmed down…there she was. Oh man, she’s so cute! He looked at her from head to toe and fell in love all over again. She was more than he had hoped. He couldn’t help but stare into her big brown eyes. They were so warm and inviting, he could just fall right into them. She had beautiful long dark hair, the kind you just wanted to run your fingers through. Even her nose was great! Then he settled on her lips. This must be where Betty Boop plays in. She had the cutest heart shaped mouth. Sexy lips with just a hint of a pout. He moved down to her body. He raised his eyebrows in appreciation. He liked! He had been just a little bit worried that she would be some grotesquely huge woman. Not that he would have cared, or so he thought. He wanted to believe he wouldn’t have been that shallow. But he didn’t have to worry about that now. She was an attractive, wonderful woman. He felt so lucky to have found her. He replied to the mail.
Mandy, I don’t know what you were so worried about. You are adorable! I love every inch of you! Thanks for sending me the picture. Now I can have this lovely vision every time I listen to that sexy voice. I’m in heaven...love, Ray
He hit send. Then he had an awful thought. Now he had to send her his picture. She was out of his league! What if she didn’t find him attractive and called the whole thing off? No, the Amanda he knew would never do that. Anyway, he couldn’t put it off forever. He would have to take his chances and let the chips fall where they may. He just hoped that for once, they fell in his favor.
Chapter 12
Hilary was at her sister’s bright and early the next morning. Amanda really hated riding the bus, so her sister had reluctantly volunteered to drive them.
They were finishing off their coffee, waiting for Elisa and Alex to be ready. Hilary couldn’t resist, she just had to ask. “So how’s Ray?”
Amanda looked at Hilary with trepidation. It was way too early to start this conversation. “He’s okay, Hilary. Plugging away like the rest of us. Thanks for asking.” She got up and cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher. Thankfully, the kids arrived, backpacks in hand.
“Let’s go Aunt Hilary.”
They piled into Hilary’s old Corvair and started off to school. Amanda was happy that Hilary had let the Ray subject drop so easily, but she should have known better. As soon as the kids got out of the car the subje
ct came back up.
“Have you still been talking to him, Mandy?” Hilary asked.
“Yes, I speak to him almost every day, in one form or another.” She resisted the urge to tell Hilary to mind her own business. That would only make things worse.
“Do you realize you have put your life on hold for this guy? He’s so far away, and now your whole life centers on the phone ringing. What kind of life is that?” Hilary knew she was starting to sound like a broken record, but she felt very strongly about this.
Amanda sighed. This record was getting old, and greatly overplayed. “Hilary, why can’t you just accept that this is how I want my life to be for the moment? When I get tired of it, I’ll change it. For now, this is fine. No one is getting hurt, so why don’t you just let me be?” She knew this was a bit harsh, but she had to try to get to Hilary once and for all.
“Okay, Mandy, I give up. If this is what you want, then fine. All I can hope for is that you’ll get tired of this long-distance relationship and look for a man close by. Don’t you ever get lonely?”
“Yes, I do, every night. The kids are always out, either with their friends or at their jobs, and to tell you the truth, if it weren’t for Ray, I would feel even more alone. He keeps me company in an odd way. But I do go out, Hilary. When I want to…I promise.”
“Okay, I’m going to stop nagging you. I guess I’ll just have to trust you. I just want you to be happy, sis.” Hilary put her hand on Amanda’s. They looked at each other and had a quiet sister moment. Even though no words were expressed, they both knew exactly what each other was thinking.
They had arrived at Amanda’s office. They hugged and promised to see each other soon. “Thanks for the ride Hilary. Bring Josh and Suzanne over soon.”
“You’re welcome. Will do, are you going to cook?”
Amanda laughed, “Of course!”
“See you tonight then!” With that Hilary drove off leaving her standing there wondering how the heck that happened. Oh well, she thought, spaghetti it is. She went in and got ready for her day of patients, phones, and paperwork.
~~~
Ray had started his day by pricing apartments online. He hadn’t realized how expensive a one-bedroom could be. He looked at towns closer to his office, as he did not want to be too close to home. Although this might be better for the girls, he knew Carrie would be to tempted to be harassing him if he was anywhere within a thirty mile radius. He could live without that.
He had also called Michael Mahoney and advised him that he would be going ahead with the divorce. He explained how he had to find a suitable apartment, and then he would call to file the papers. Mr. Mahoney understood perfectly, and would wait for Ray to call to proceed.
He also called his mother to let her know his upcoming plans. There was no love loss between her and Carrie, so she was not surprised in the least.
“It’s about time you put your life in order, Ray. Staying with Carrie after all she has done to you has been ridiculous. It is time to call it quits, even if it has been nineteen years.”
“Mom, you were the one who taught me to stay married no matter what. That was what I was trying to do. I worked very hard trying to fix our marriage, but unfortunately I don’t know what it is that makes Carrie so unhappy. I do know what makes me unhappy, so that’s what I have to work on. Carrie won’t even discuss it with me. She just wants to stay together because that’s what’s supposed to happen. I just can’t do it anymore.”
“Well of course you can’t. I don’t even know why you put up with that woman for this long.”
Ray’s mother had the tendency to be judgmental. Nothing was ever good enough for her. It was the way she had always been, Ray had just learned to deal with it.
“I just wanted to let you know, Mom. I don’t know when or where…I just know it’s going to happen. I just didn’t want you to be too surprised.”
“Okay, Ray. Thanks for that. Let me know what’s going on, please. Take care of yourself. Goodbye, Raymond.”
Joanne Knight was worried about her son. At forty-two he did deserve to be happy. She was glad he finally came to the realization that he might be able to do better. She felt sad that her granddaughters had to be a product of a broken home, but she definitely felt this was best for her only son. All she could do at this point was hope for the best, and be here if he needed her.
~~~
Amanda was brought home by a co-worker that evening. No bus today! She was relieved. She was going to have to get proactive and try to find a solution to her car situation.
She checked her answering machine and found two messages. One was from Hilary letting her know she would be arriving around six thirty. The other was from Ray letting her know he was thinking of her. That was so sweet, she thought. She wished he could call him back but he was all ready at home. She decided not to put too much thought into that statement.
She was in the kitchen starting the spaghetti for dinner when the phone rang. It was her friend Sheryl from her old job.
“Hey, Mandy how are you? I was just thinking of you and thought I would give you a quick ring. So what’s new?”
Sheryl and Amanda had worked together for quite a few years. They’d been through a lot together and were fast friends. Sheryl was always there with motherly advice, even though she was only about ten years older.
“I’m okay Sheryl; same-o, same-o. How about you? I haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“Just working and going crazy at home. Bud is his usual pain in the ass. My babies also keep me pretty busy.”
Sheryl’s babies were her dogs. At last count she had five of them, all different shapes and sizes. They were the loves of her life.
“How come you never visit?”
“Well, for the moment, Sheryl, I don’t even have a car.” Amanda told her friend the whole sordid story of her life and its current events. She left out the Ray part though.
“Mandy you numb nuts…you should have called me! Do you remember what Bud does for a living?” Sheryl voice had gotten about twelve octaves higher. It had the tendency to do that when she got excited.
Amanda thought for a moment. “Oh yeah, he’s a used car salesman!” She’d forgotten. She wondered if he would be able to help her. Sheryl answered that question for her.
“Let me talk to him and see what he can do. I’ll have him call you, okay?”
“That is more than okay. Thank you so much, Sheryl.”
“You’re welcome. When are you going to learn to come to me when you need help?” She feigned exasperation. Sheryl loved her like a daughter. She hoped she would be able to help her.
Amanda laughed, “I’ll be waiting to hear from Bud then. I’m glad you called Sheryl, and not just because of the car thing.”
“Yeah, sure you are. Then pick up the phone and call me some time, you brat!” They were both smiling as they hung up the phone.
Amanda tried not to get too excited about this prospect. If Bud could help her get a car, that would be wonderful. He had helped other people she knew, and it seemed under impossible situations. Why not her? Amanda prayed it would happen. She decided not to tell anyone until she spoke with Bud.
The doorbell rang. In popped Hilary, Suzanne, Elisa and Alex. Not too quietly either.
“Hey,” cried Amanda, “who let in the clowns?”
“Very funny,” replied Elisa. “What’s for dinner?” Elisa looked into the pot and made a face. Spaghetti was not her favorite.
“How about you make a salad to go with it, Elis? Amanda ignored the face. She was used to it.
“Oh, Mom, do I have to?”
“Yes, you do. Thanks, though, your tired mom does appreciate it.”
Elisa groaned and went to the refrigerator to get out the lettuce, tomatoes, mushrooms and cucumbers. She commenced to chop, a bit too zealously.
“So Hilary, where’s your husband?”
“He had to work late, but promises to stop by after. How did you get home?
“
I got a ride. That helped.”
“What are you going to do about this car thing, Mandy? With two teenagers, you have to have one.”
She took a deep breath, “Wow, Hilary, thanks for enlightening me. I will take that into consideration.”
Hilary was undaunted. “You are most welcome. Any way I can help you, big sister, you know me.” She looked at the look on her sister’s face and laughed hysterically. Amanda reacted by throwing noodles at her.
“Hey, not fair throwing food we have yet to eat.” Hilary picked the spaghetti off her. “I was just kidding,” she pouted.
“Dinner is ready, so let’s eat. I’m starved.” Amanda set the table with paper plates and they all sat down to the meaty spaghetti. It was delicious. They made a fuss over Elisa’s salad, and she had to admit, this was a wonderful meal.
Hilary cleaned up the dishes and wondered how she could bring up the subject of Ray without upsetting her sister. She wanted to know about him, about his life about his intentions. She knew it was her own fault that Amanda was on the defense whenever she brought it up, but she decided it was a losing battle, so she might as well just give up and accept it.
After she finished cleaning up, she poured them both a cup of coffee. The kids had all retired to their bedrooms. It was perfect timing.
“So Mandy, have you seen a picture of Ray yet?”
“No, I haven’t. He wants to send me one, but I’m undecided about giving him my address. I trust him and all, but am trying not to be irresponsible.”
Hilary saw this as an opportunity to show her she was in her corner again. “What harm would it do, Mandy? Then we can see what he looks like. Maybe he’s a super freak and you won’t want anything to do with him.”
When You Least Expect It Page 10
