“We didn’t love each other anymore.”
“How long were you married?”
“Eighteen years.” Ray didn’t like this anymore.
“How do you leave someone after living with them for so long?”
“There was no love, no friendship, and no respect. I was very unhappy, I needed to find myself again, and hopefully find someone I could be happy with.”
Elisa was silent for a moment. “Do you plan on hurting my mother, either physically or emotionally?”
“No, Elisa I do not. I’m not a psycho. I’m not an axe murderer. I just want to meet your mother and see how it goes. I promise to send her home in the exact same condition she arrives in, and show her a good time while she’s here.”
“Will you be having safe sex?”
Ray was astounded that this little girl could ask him this so forthright. “We haven’t really discussed it.” He lied.
“Well, maybe you should. Go out and buy protection just in case, because I don’t think my mom would be prepared or even think about it.”
Ray stifled a laugh. “What kind?
Elisa didn’t skip a beat. “The ribbed kind; lubricated.”
Ray could feel his body turn red from top to bottom. “Thanks for the info Elisa. It has been very interesting talking to you.”
“No problem. My mom says she’ll call you later. We’re off to the movies.”
“Okay, thanks. Good night.”
“Bye.”
Ray hung up feeling slightly bewildered. Elisa was amazing. He thought of the conversation he just had and shook his head. He burst out laughing! This was definitely going to be an interesting five days.
Amanda was staring at her daughter, with her mouth gaping open. “Are you for real? Why would you ask him about sex, and even worse about condoms?”
“I’m just protecting you, Mom. It’s been a while since you’ve been out in the dating world; you have to use condoms now.”
Amanda was outraged. “Excuse me, but if and when Ray and I have sex, I don’t want to know that my daughter gave him advice on our protection!”
“Well it’s too late now. I just did.” Elisa smiled at her smugly. “I’m just watching out for you, Mom.”
“Elisa, I don’t want to know about Mom having sex. Gross. You, as usual, have gone too far. Can we go to the movies now?” Alex grabbed his hat and headed out to the car shaking his head. Why do women act like that? He quietly wished he had a brother.
Amanda just stared at her daughter, searching for the right words. “You’ve had your fun now, so let’s go. Today Alex is picking the movie.”
Elisa laughed. “Whatever. I’ve had my fun for the evening.”
She glared at her daughter. “That’s good. Just so you know, I’m not having sex, so that conversation was for no reason.”
“Right, Mom.” Her mother didn’t hear this, as she was stomping out to the car. Elisa laughed out loud, her mom embarrassed so easily.
~~~
Amanda lay in bed that night, rehashing her day. Everyone who needed to know now knew that she was going to Maine. Her kids had taken it relatively well; the conversation between Ray and Elisa had been benign for the most part. She laughed out loud; she wished she could have seen the look on Ray’s face when Elisa asked him if they were going to have sex. He must have turned green! Blossom was okay with it; although Amanda was certain she was a nervous wreck. God forbid ‘the family’ find out. Kara had been great and Mariah too. So everything was set. The only thing left was the countdown to the date. First, Ray would get divorced, and then they’d meet. She said a little prayer that everything would go as planned before she drifted off to sleep.
~~~
Time was moving fast. Ray had rearranged his whole apartment. He dusted, vacuumed and mopped on a daily basis, trying his best to get the place spic and span. He went out and bought some pictures and vases, he wanted to have fresh flowers all around when Amanda got there. He bought some new dishes, and even a plant to spruce the place up. It looked pretty good, although it still had the ambiance of a bachelor pad.
He spoke to Amanda every day. She was still just as excited, but he could detect some nervousness in there too. He too, was nervous. What if she didn’t like him? What if they didn’t click? He needed to relax.
There was only one week to go. Seven days. In five days, he would become a free man. There’d been no more calls from Carrie, and the girls hadn’t noticed anything unusual. Things were going as planned for once.
He was having dinner with the girls that night. He wished he could tell them about Amanda coming. He felt so sneaky keeping it from them, but he just couldn’t risk their mother finding out before the divorce was final. Besides, maybe it was too soon for them to consider him with another woman. He felt they needed more time.
He was finishing his sprucing when the phone rang. He noticed on his caller ID that it was Amanda. He was surprised at the early call; he picked it up right away.
“Hello?”
“I’m scared, Ray.”
“What about, honey?”
“About coming to Maine.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I suddenly feel that I’m being too impulsive. What if you are an axe murderer? For heaven’s sake, what am I doing?”
“You’re coming to meet me. You don’t really think I’m an axe murderer, do you?”
“No,” she answered sheepishly.
“I promise you I’m not. We’re going to have a good time, Mandy. We’ll either progress further from that point, or just stay good friends. It’s a win, win situation. You get to come to Maine, and I have another surprise for you; I’m taking you to New York City.”
“What? You’re kidding me? Oh wow, that is exciting!”
“I thought you’d like that. We can go to the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, or do whatever you’d like. It’ll be fun.”
Amanda’s head was spinning. It was like a dream come true. “I don’t know what to say, Ray.”
“Just say you are getting on that plane in one week. Just say that you can’t wait to meet me and that we’re going to have a hell of a good time.”
“Thanks Ray, you’ve put my mind at ease. I really can’t wait; it is going to be too much fun!”
“Okay, now that that’s settled, I’m going to go have dinner with my daughters. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“’Night!”
Amanda hung up the phone feeling a hundred percent better. She wondered how she’d been lucky enough to find Ray on the World Wide Web. She didn’t understand it, but she was glad she did.
~~~
Amanda was washing and ironing the clothes she was planning to take on her trip. Everything was organized. Hilary and the kids would be driving her to the airport, Ray would be picking her up; and she only had about six hours in between to think about it.
She couldn’t believe how excited/nervous she was. She was nervous about taking such a long trip on her own; she had never done that before. The longest flight she had ever taken was to L.A. She even had to change plans in Chicago, which was new. By tomorrow afternoon, she’d be standing in front of Ray, meeting him face to face for the first time.
When she was done packing, she called Blossom and Kara and gave them her itinerary and phone number in Maine. Blossom was still insisting on her calling her every day at the same time. They settled on 9 p.m. eastern time.
She went out to get Alex, they were going to go meet Elisa at her job and hang out, spending some time together before she left.
~~~
Ray was sitting in his living room in the dark holding the mail he had gotten today. He had not moved since reading it. Daylight had come and gone, and still he sat at his desk. He was numb.
Carrie had gotten another postponement, another excuse to torture him. Only this time it was different. This time he had Amanda coming. If she came to stay with him, it could be disastrous to his divorce. If she didn’t, it could be ju
st as disastrous to his future. He had no idea what to do, or how to fix it. He just had a horrible feeling that Carrie was going to continue to manipulate and control him until there was nothing left of him. She would finally win.
Chapter 31
The butterflies in Amanda’s stomach were almost unbearable. She wasn’t able to drink her coffee that morning, she was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to keep it down. The day was here; she was leaving today to meet Ray.
Hilary, Elisa and Alex were very quiet. The tension in the car hung heavily as they made their way to the airport, each of them lost in their own thoughts.
“So Elisa, I expect you to keep everything in order while I’m gone. No parties! I mean it. I’m expecting you to be the adult.”
Alex groaned, ‘”Yeah right, Mom. You should leave me in charge, you’d be better off. Why do I need a babysitter anyway?”
“You don’t, I just will feel better if you aren’t home alone.” She looked out the window. Why was she doing this again?
“The kids will be fine, Mandy. I’ll be checking in on them, and maybe even feeding them a time or two. They won’t be alone. You just worry about being safe and getting your butt home in one piece.” Hilary tried to hide the shakiness in her voice, failing miserably.
Amanda shot her sister the dirtiest look she could muster. “Of course I’ll be home in one piece. I’m not worried about that and you shouldn’t be either. They rode the rest of the way in silence.
~~~
At the gate, Amanda tried her best to be chipper, noting the worried look on all their faces. You’d think she was going off to war! When they announced her departure, she picked up her bag with confidence. “Well, I’m off, gang. Wish me well.” She hugged her son, “You behave yourself. I know I can depend on you.” She turned to her daughter who was fighting back tears.
“Mom, promise you’ll come back?” She hugged her mother tightly.
“Of course I will. I’ll be back on Sunday as planned. Take care of things for me, okay?” She gave Elisa an extra squeeze. “Don’t worry. I’ll call you every day.”
“Okay. Have a safe trip.” She reluctantly let go of her.
Hilary grabbed her quickly. “Be careful. You call me; don’t make me call you. I’ll see you Sunday. Now get on that plane, you crazy woman. I hope you find what you’re looking for.” Hilary’s eyes were brimmed with tears.
Amanda turned around and walked through the gate, afraid she would start the waterworks if she said anything else. She waved at her family, silently praying she was doing the right thing.
Once on board, Amanda relaxed. She was excited to start this leg of her journey. She was going to meet Ray. She closed her eyes and wondered what he was doing right this minute, but more importantly, what he was feeling. She’d remembered this morning that Ray was supposed to have his divorce hearing two days ago, yet hadn’t mentioned it at all. She’d been so busy trying to get ready for the trip that she had forgotten all about it. She wondered what had happened. She imagined that if all had gone well, Ray would have been dancing a jig, yelling out his windows and celebrating to the hilt. Something must have gone wrong. It made her a little anxious that he didn’t mention it to her before she went out there, but he must have his reasons, she was going to have to trust him. At this point, she had no other choice.
~~~
Ray was a wreck. He was at work trying to concentrate on his computer. He had gotten up early today to clean his apartment for the last time before Amanda’s arrival. His apartment had never looked so clean. He’d changed his clothes four times, not being able to decide what looked best. He wanted to impress Amanda the first time she laid eyes on him. He wondered what that moment would be like. Would they hug? Kiss? Shake hands? He had no idea what the right thing was.
He finally gave up trying to work and went to the cafeteria for coffee. He was so nervous his palms were sweaty. If he were that way now, what was he going to be like when he picked her up? He had to laugh; he hoped that he wouldn’t make a complete fool of himself. He hoped that she liked him, he hoped with every fiber of his being that they ‘clicked’
~~~
Amanda was at O’Hare International Airport. She couldn’t believe the size of it. She had to walk what felt like a mile before reaching the gate. She quickly grabbed something to eat, then into the bathroom for a quick fix.
She fixed her hair as best she could, and freshened up her make-up. She tried to smooth out her clothes. She had chosen a simple black dress to wear on the trip. She didn’t want to be too dressed-up, nor did she want to meet Ray wearing sweats. She just hoped he wasn’t disappointed. She looked at her watch, almost time to leave. In two hours, she’d be meeting Ray. Her stomach lurched. She was really going through with this! She was really in Chicago, waiting to board a plane to take her to Portland.
~~~
Amanda looked out of her little window at the landscape. It was beautiful! Everything was so green and woodsy, and she had never seen so much water. She’d just gotten over her latest panic attack; she actually had to go into the bathroom to try to regain control. She didn’t know who she was. The Amanda of norm would not be doing this. She had always been responsible and levelheaded. She had composed herself the best she could and ordered a stiff drink, drank it quickly, taking deep, slow breaths. After all, she told herself, it was too late now; there was no turning back. She was on her way, hopefully, to her destiny.
~~~
The passengers were finally filing out of the airplane. Ray watched through the small glass panel of the metal doors as the passengers walked down the hall. He hoped that he would recognize Amanda from her picture. As of yet, he hadn’t seen anyone resembling her. It seemed as if everyone had disembarked from the plane, why couldn’t he see her. He held his breath; maybe she’d changed her mind. He’d been expecting too much, of course she hadn’t wanted to come all this way to meet a stranger. After all, isn’t what he technically was to her?
He hung his head as he looked at the roses he’d bought her. He willed her to be there when he looked back up. He wanted this too much for it to be ending here. He slowly peeked through the little window. Someone was coming! There was someone talking to the flight attendant, looking very hesitant. It could be her. She was looking down the hall, undecided, as if she were having second thoughts about leaving the safety of the airplane and its crew. She looked very much like the sweet picture Amanda had sent. He watched her, willing her to walk faster. He noted her little black dress, and high-heeled shoes, the way she walked, oh so gracefully. She was beautiful; it had to be her! Suddenly she stopped midway, turning to look back at the crew, but the crew had all ready passed her in the hall. Ray wanted to scream at her, it’s okay, I won’t hurt you! She started walking towards him again, not having seen him, but now hurried toward the metal door, towards the little window, towards Ray himself. She would be here any second. Ray held his breath; she was gorgeous. Her hand was on the door, and she looked down and stood still for a moment, as if in prayer. Ray silently said his own little prayer, asking God to let her love him.
~~~
Amanda walked off the ramp and looked around. She didn’t see Ray. She then noticed there were no hugs or tears from happy reunions. There was no one rushing up to meet their loved ones. She was confused. Since she found this odd, she went up to a flight attendant to ask what was going on.
The flight attendant smiled at her condescendingly. “Honey, its past nine here; we lock the gates. Ever since 9/11.” She pointed down the hall. “Just go past the metal gates, your party is waiting for you there.”
She thanked her and turned towards the metal door. It’s been awhile since she had flown. She had forgotten all the rules and regulations had changed. Halfway to the doors she was very aware that she was the only one in the hall. She turned around and looked down at the empty hall behind her, then slowly turned towards the metal doors. She could see someone peeking through the window but couldn’t really make him out, she was s
ure it was Ray though. With a sudden determination, she took a deep breath, threw her shoulders back, and with almost a skip in her step, walked briskly toward the doors, towards Ray. She put her hand on the door and silently prayed that God would keep her safe. She opened it. Someone immediately handed her a beautiful bouquets of flowers and had enveloped her in a hug.
“You’re here! You’re really here! I can’t believe it.”
Amanda immediately recognized the voice; it was Ray. She had not so much as looked at him yet, or hugged him, or anything for that matter. She took the flowers, and looked up at him, shocked that he didn't really look familiar. “Ray?”
Ray smiled down at her. “Yes, Mandy, it’s me. It’s Ray.”
She took a good look at him. Why didn’t he look like his picture? Why was he just staring at her? Why couldn’t she think of anything to say?
“Let’s go get your baggage. Are you hungry, we could go get something to eat?” He noticed how nervous she looked. She hadn’t said two words, and that was no exaggeration.
“Coffee would be nice.”
“Great, it’ll give us a chance to catch up.”
“Okay.” The way he was looking at her made her so uncomfortable, as if he could pounce on her at any moment.
They waited for her luggage, not really speaking, Ray taking in every inch of her. At one point, without really thinking about it, he bent down and kissed her on the head.
Amanda was startled; she glanced at him and noticed how happy he looked. Why wasn’t he as nervous as she was?
He put his arm around her shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re here, Mandy.” This was practically a whisper. He didn’t want to scare her. He dropped his arm when she didn’t say anything.
“That’s my suitcase.” She pointed to the large green wheel-on. It matched the carry-on in her hand.
Ray grabbed it, put his hand on the small of her back, and led her out to the car. Once inside his car, he again just turned to stare at her. “I can’t believe you’re here, Mandy. I didn’t really believe this day would ever come.”
When You Least Expect It Page 27
