Elisa agreed. “I guess you’re right. As long as you don’t make too big of a production of it and take away from Alex’s graduation, it should be fine.”
“I’d never do that. Meeting Ray is just an extension. Just like the family meeting Tom will be.”
All eyes turned to Tom. Elisa’s eyes were as wide as saucer’s. “Oh wow, Tom, I hadn’t even thought of that. Are you ready to be under the scrutiny of my entire family? Not to mention my dad?”
Tom shrugged. “No big deal. They’re going to love me!”
The four of them laughed. Amanda patted him on the shoulder. “The part I love about you most is your modesty, honey. Don’t ever lose that.”
Elisa groaned out loud. “The funny part is…you know he’s right. They’re going to love him, and probably Ray, too. As long as we’re happy, they’ll be happy. Right, Mom?”
She thought about this for a moment. “You’re exactly right, Elisa. We have nothing to worry about.”
Hilary raised her eyebrows at her sister, and then her glass. “To the family!”
They all laughed and raised their glasses in return.
Chapter 37
Amanda and Ray were talking excitedly about the trip.
“I can’t wait to see you, Ray.”
“Well in a few short weeks you will! I can’t wait! I have the airline tickets, and the hotel and car are reserved. All I need now is to get there.”
She clapped her hands. “It’s going to be so much fun, and hopefully my family won’t scare you off.”
“Nothing could scare me away from you.” He tapped his pencil on his desk, wanting to say more, but not knowing how to bring it up. He was nervous about coming to El Paso for the first time, not only to meet her kids, but all her family, friends and even her ex-husband. It was a little overwhelming.
“It’s going to be fun Ray, and you’ll never know how much I appreciate this.
He sighed. “It’ll be fine.”
She hung up, unable to shake the feeling that something was wrong. He seemed to be a little hesitant about the trip all of a sudden. Maybe she was asking too much of him; maybe meeting everyone in her life at one shot was giving him too much information. What if nothing ever came of this relationship? After all, they didn’t live in the same city, not even the same state. Not even the same side of the country!
Feeling lonely, she picked up the phone and dialed Elisa’s phone number.
“Hi Mom.”
“Hi Elisa, how are you?”
“Good, what’s up?
“Nothing much. Just wondering what you were doing tomorrow night.”
“Well lets see, tomorrow I go to school all day, then I go to work for most of the night, then maybe, I’ll spend a few hours with Tom. Why?”
Amanda tried to hide the dejected feeling from her voice. “Just thought we could catch a movie, we haven’t done that for awhile.”
Elisa could hear the loneliness in her mom’s voice. “Where’s Alex?”
“Working.”
“Why don’t you call Aunt Hilary, maybe she can go with you. If not Mom, maybe I can go with you next week.”
“Okay Elis, don’t worry about it. Take care of yourself and say hi to Tom. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Amanda hung up feeling lonelier than ever.
Chapter 39
Graduation was only two weeks away. Everything was falling into place, the DJ and cake were on order, and Josh was coming over to clean up her yard.
Ray had reserved a hotel just down the street from her house. She was trying to arrange to spend that first night with him, before everyone else arrived. She wanted to be able to surprise him by putting a few things in his hotel room prior to his arrival. She had Champagne, rose petals, scented candles; all the usual things that signified a romantic mood.
She also had appointments to have a mani/pedi, to get a haircut and a facial. She wanted to look her best when he arrived. She wanted everything to be perfect from her hair.
As if he were able to feel that she was thinking of him, the phone rang and it was Ray.
“Hello, cutie, how are you?”
“I’m good. I’ve had a very busy day trying to get everything organized so that once you hit town it will be done. What have you been up to?”
“Oh shopping and getting ready to visit the infamous El Paso. So what will we be doing while I’m there, besides for the event of the year in your backyard?”
“Well, I thought we could check out the Franklin Mountain State Park. It’s beautiful there and it’ll teach you about our beautiful city. Also, a tram takes you way up to Ranger Peak. You could see two different countries, and two states. It’s a beautiful ride if you aren’t afraid of heights.”
“That sounds great.”
“If you’re real daring, we could take a trip into Juarez, the border town into Mexico. The shopping is great and if you don’t drink the water, you might just survive. But if you want real Mexican food, that’s the place to do it”
“Wow that sounds great too. A lot of stuff crammed into the two days before your family starts arriving.”
“This is true. We’ll just have to decide when you get here I guess, depending on what you’re up for.”
“I’m up for anything, as long as I’m with you. We really don’t have to sightsee if it’s going to be too much pressure on you. I just want to be with you, I don’t care what we’re doing.”
Amanda smiled, “I just want to be with you too, Ray. But, I want your trip to be fun and worthwhile, not just the ordeal of meeting everyone in my life. Are you okay with that?”
Ray decided to come clean. “Okay, I’m a little overwhelmed by it all. I have to try to impress your kids, I have to try and not be axe-murderer-like to your family, and I have to be the God’s-greatest-gift-as-a-boyfriend your ex-husband has ever met. No pressure there.”
Amanda laughed hysterically. “I don’t ask a lot from you, do I? I know it’s a lot, but I think it sounds worse than it’s really going to be. Just trust me. I won’t let anything happen to you.””
The two said their goodbyes and hung up, promising to talk tomorrow.
~~~
Amanda decided to tell Alex about Ray coming down for his graduation. He didn’t take the news well, just as expected.
“Why now? I don’t want him at my graduation, Mom. It’s not like he’s family or anything.” Alex rolled his eyes, she was unbelievable!
“True, but he is my friend. I just thought this would be the best time, since the family was going to be here and all. This way they could meet him while they were here. No big deal; he’s just my escort.”
“Escort! Why do you need an escort?” He groaned out loud. “Geez Mom, is this about Dad and Monique?” More eye rolling. He hated the way she got so insecure every time she had to see his dad. “You don’t need to prove anything to them!”
“I know Alex, I’m not. I just don’t want to seem so…alone. I know it’s hard for you to understand, but can’t you at least just try? I promise Ray isn’t going to interfere in your big day at all. He’s just going to be a guest.”
“And if I say no?”
Amanda hung her head. Why did everything have to be such an argument? “I can see that I should have talked to you about this before. I honestly didn’t think it would be a problem. I’m sorry Alex, but Ray already bought his airline ticket and reserved a hotel. There’s no changing it.” Amanda went to hug him, but he shrugged her off.
“Why even bother to tell me then? So your Internet boyfriend is going to be here, who cares? Don’t expect me to be nice to him though, he’s nothing to me!” With that, Alex turned and stormed out of the house.
Amanda ran to the door. “Alex, come back here! Where are you going?” She watched as her son hurriedly walked around the corner and down the street, until she couldn’t see him anymore. She played with the idea of hopping in her car and chasing him, but that would only make things worse. How far could he go
without a car? She opted to give him time to cool down and think about it, she was sure he’d come around.
She slowly closed the door and walked back to the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of water, watching as her hands shook. She willed herself not to cry, but she didn’t succeed. She threw the glass into the sink and watched as it shattered into a million pieces. She grabbed onto the edge of the sink to steady herself and cried…cried hard. Why was it that what she wanted always came last? Why didn’t her feelings matter? Why did no one care whether she was happy or not?
Amanda tried to compose herself as the phone rang. She stared at the broken pieces of glass in the sink and let the answering machine pick up. It was Elisa. Alex had walked to her house. He was upset. She told me so. She listened without emotion. She didn’t have the energy to pick up the phone. She didn’t want to fight with the kids; she didn’t want to argue, in fact, she didn’t want to explain herself anymore. What’s done was done, like it or not. She continued the mind-numbing task of picking up the broken glass, wanting to leave no trace of her outburst, no sign of her shattered state.
~~~
Amanda lay in bed that night looking at her list. She had gone to bed early, not wanting to deal with anything else. She didn’t even pick up the phone when Ray called, she didn’t want to tell him about the incident with Alex, and he’d be able to tell she was upset, so she had chosen to skip the nightly call.
Sometimes she wondered if Ray would be able to handle all the drama that consisted in her life. Her life seemed like a soap opera more than anything else. “Like sands in the hour glass…” Only her life was more like rocks instead of sand.
Elisa had mentioned that Alex was going to spend the night, so she was alone. She’d foregone her usual cup of tea for a glass of wine, and that had finally calmed her down a bit. Unfortunately, it was not helping her sleep at all. She got up and padded over to the phone, dialing Blossoms’ number.
“Heyyy girl! I was just thinking of you! How are you?”
It did Amanda’s heart good to hear Blossoms cheery voice. “I’m okay, how about you?”
“Uh-oh, you don’t sound good. What’s the matter, honey, trouble in paradise?”
She told Blossom the sordid story, every detail, up to the part where Elisa said she told her so.
Blossom laughed. “You just hate it when people say ‘I told you so’; especially when, well, they did tell you so. Honey, what did you expect? Did you expect that your son would welcome this new man in your life with open arms? Alex wants you to himself. He’s the man in your life. He took it on when his dad left that role. You have to see it from his side.”
Amanda sighed. “I do see it from his side. I see everything from his side; and Elisa’s. It’s not that I don’t understand how he’s feeling, but why can’t he try to accept what I want?”
“I think you know the answer to that, Mandy. He’s still a kid. You’re his mom. It’s just that simple in his mind.”
She knew she was at the losing end of this tug of war. “I love my kids more than anything. Sometimes though, I have to do some things for me. Maybe after the Peter ordeal I don’t deserve any more chances, but I wasn’t myself then. Should I be penalized for that?”
Blossom shook her head on her end of the phone. Amanda was always blaming herself for everything. It was as if she felt she didn’t deserve to be happy. “No, Mandy, you served your penance just marrying that awful man. You’re right, you weren’t yourself, and everyone could see that but you. You snapped out of it, that’s what matters. So, everyone got bruises and scrapes with it, and it may have left some scars, but you have to move on from that. You do deserve to be happy, and right now, Ray is making you happy. As long as it’s not hurting anyone, that’s all that matters.”
Amanda sighed. Deep down, she knew Blossom was right. “Thanks Blossom. I love that you can help me see both sides to any particular problem. You really helped. So hey, when are you getting here? I can’t wait to see you!”
“We’ll be there the day before. I was talking to Leeza and she thinks we should all go out for a big dinner; maybe at a steakhouse?”
“That sounds fun. I’ll make reservations. Ray ought to love that. In fact, I’ll just invite everyone who wants to meet him, that way, by graduation day; it won’t be such a big deal. What do you think?”
“Sounds like a great idea. That should be fun! We’ll eat steak and you can serve up Ray!”
The girls both laughed. “Yeah, all he’ll need is an apple in his mouth.” The girls cackled with that image in their mind. “I think I’ll leave you with that thought. Goodnight, Blossom, thanks again!”
~~~
Back at Elisa’s, Alex was complaining to his sister. “I want Mom to be happy, but why does she have to choose such weird men? Tell me this, whose mom goes on the Internet, meets some weird nerdy guy who has nothing better to do than lurking the net for lonely women, then, invites him to a family occasion? What the hell is that? Mom is being such a loser!”
Elisa cackled her loud, throaty laugh. “She is not, Alex. Mom has had bad luck with men, and yes, this one seems especially out there, but he has to be better than Peter! I’ve talked to him, and he seems nice. She hasn’t been happy in a long time, Al, maybe this time she truly has found love.”
“Love is overrated. She loved Dad, look what that got her. We won’t even discuss Peter.” He got up, angry all over again. “Whatever! As soon as I’m eighteen, I’m getting out of there, and then Mom can do what she wants. I’m going to bed! Where am I sleeping?”
She looked up at her brother wondering why he was always so angry. “Well, as soon as I get up, you’ll be sleeping right here.”
“Great,” he said sarcastically. He went to the closet, grabbed a blanket, wrapped it around himself, and plopped on the other end of the couch. He looked worriedly at his sister, his anger gone. “What if Mom moves to Maine?”
“She wouldn’t do that to you Alex, but if she did, you would go too. She wouldn’t abandon you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
Alex hid beneath the blanket. “I will not be moving to Maine, no matter what.”
Elisa rubbed his head over the blanket. “Don’t worry too much about it, bro, Mom isn’t going anywhere. Goodnight.”
The lump on the couch stayed quiet as Elisa walked off, looking back when she stopped to switch off the light. “I love you,” she whispered.
Once in bed, she thought about her mother. She wondered exactly what it was that she was thinking; or planning. She decided that it was time for a ‘girls’ night out’ so that she could find out.
~~~
Hilary and Blossom were discussing the tribulations that centered around Amanda now.
“I think she’s putting too much emphasis on this meeting. So, Ray comes to El Paso, meets her kids and almost the entire family, her friends; then what’s left? It’s like she’s putting all her eggs in one basket, like she’s saying, this is me in a nutshell, take it or leave it.”
“Hilary, what’s wrong with that? He lives thousands of miles away. Maybe this is her way of showing him this is what she’s about’ and making him decide if having this long distance relationship is worth it.” Blossom shook her head on her end; she wondered silently why Hilary was so afraid.
“What if Elisa and Alex hate him? Remember how they hated Peter?”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, why can’t you let that nightmare go? Your sister made a mistake, it’s now behind her, and we can’t keep comparing everything to that. She knows what she wants with this relationship. It’s not like she went looking for it, it found her for once. She’s been talking to him for over a year! Give her a break. I think we should hold our opinions until we actually meet this guy, see them together, and see how he holds up against everything that he has in store for him. It’s not like he doesn’t know what awaits him, yet he’s still coming. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is!”
“Geez, Blossom, can you get off your soapbox now?
Why does everything have to be about love?”
“Because Hilary, that’s what life is all about; finding love and someone to share your life with. Mandy is no different from anybody else, including her kids. What do you think Elisa is doing with Tom? You think they’re just friends?” She snorted. “Get real. You have a great life with Josh and Susie. Mandy’s just having a harder time finding that, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want it. It’s harder for her, because she’s a package deal, so she needs to find someone who is accepting of her kids, and that her kids hopefully will accept. Not an easy job. I give her a lot of credit, Hil; she’s done an exceptional job with those kids, even with everything that she has happened to her. She deserves some happiness, why don’t you want her to have it?”
Hilary was getting agitated at her cousin. “I do want her to be happy. In fact, it’s all I want. She just seems to be screwing up in that area.”
“That’s it!” Blossom had heard enough. “You’d better get off your high horse, missy, and support your sister. Meet this man with an open mind and try to see it from her point of view, and while you’re at it; put that thought into your niece and nephew’s mind. Help your sister; stop fighting her!”
Hilary was silent, letting everything Blossom had said sink in. She knew she was right, but didn’t want to admit it to her. “I’ll meet Ray with an open mind, Blossom. I can’t help but worry about my sister; she’s been hurt too many times.”
“I know that, but I’ll tell you what, so does she. I doubt that she wants to fling herself into the frying pan before she knows how hot the oil is.”
Hilary groaned, sometimes the Texan in Blossom still came out, even if she lived in Arizona. “Okay, enough with the ‘Blossisms’. I get the picture. I’ll be on my best behavior. I have to be, you’ll be here!”
When You Least Expect It Page 34
