Amanda’s laughing finally subsided. “I needed that! I think that because I feel so overwhelmed it was either laugh or cry; or as in my case, a little of both.
Ray wished he could reach through the phone and hold her. “I prefer the laughter. I’m glad my little speech tickled you. Feel better?”
“Yes, I do. Your little speech, tickling or not, made a lot of sense. I do want to run away, Ray. But you’re right, that wouldn’t be a very good beginning for the two of us. I’ll figure things out. I do have a question for you though. How far is Boston from you?”
“Boston? It’s about a two and a half hour drive. Why do you ask?”
Amanda’s wheels were turning so fast she didn’t even hear him.
“I’m just wondering. Elisa is planning to move to Boston next year. Maybe moving across country, say to Maine, wouldn’t be such a bad idea. How do you feel about acquiring an almost grown man as a roommate?”
Ray couldn’t believe his ears. Was she actually thinking about possibly moving here? He put his finger in his phone ear and shook it. He definitely was hearing things.
“Would you have a problem with Alex moving with me if I decided to come to Maine? That is, if you wanted me to move in with you. We could get our own apartment if that worked better. Hmm…that probably would be better as far as Alex was concerned.” Amanda was pretty much just thinking out loud at this point.
Ray, on the other hand, was pinching himself. He must be dreaming. If not, he was speechless. He couldn’t conceive the possibility of his dream actually coming true. He didn’t know how to react. “Mandy…”
Amanda cut him off. “I have to go Ray. I have to pick Alex up from work. I like to allow myself extra time considering the shape of my car. We’ll talk about this later.” She hung up; unaware that Ray was still in shock on the other end.
He hung up in slow motion, his mouth still hanging open. Was Amanda serious? He looked around his tiny apartment, wondering if she could be happy in it. Wait! She talked about bringing Alex! This wouldn’t be the place for him! No room! A young man of his age would definitely need his own bedroom. He dialed the concierge.
“Hi Mr. Knight. What can I do for you?”
“Good evening.” Ray recognized the voice of the usual night clerk. “I was just wondering if there were any two bedrooms available in the building.”
“I think so. We have quite a few openings right now.”
“Any idea how much they are?”
She looked on her list and gave him the amount. “Thinking of moving?”
“Well, you never know! Thanks for your help.”
Ray remembered Amanda’s idea of maybe her and Alex getting her own apartment. Of course, she’d come blindly, without a job. He’d have to be ready for her, help her and Alex in any way he could. If she was serious, there’d be a lot of work involved, and it would cost both of them a lot of money. Nevertheless, whatever it was that Amanda would want or need; he was ready to take it on.
~~~
Amanda flew out of her house and jumped in the car. She turned the key to hear only the grumbling of her engine. Oh no! This was all she needed. She kept trying the key and pumping on the gas. She yelled at the car to start, she pumped the gas; she turned the key repeatedly, until she noticed the billows of smoke coming out of the hood. She hurriedly got out of the car and opened the hood to find the engine on fire! Flames shot out of the car, brushing with Amanda’s hair, throwing her on the ground. She screamed for help, hysterically, hoping someone would notice. She finally came to her senses, ran into the house, and dialed 911. She then dialed Hilary’s number, frantically told her the story in ten words or less, and asked her to pick up her son.
She went outside, stood by her car, and watched as the flames flickered in the darkness, the smoke thick and black. She felt nothing. She thought about her car insurance, or lack thereof. She thought about getting to work. She thought about her car payment. Then she thought about Ray; how he didn’t want her to run away from her problems. She threw back her head and laughed a deep, throaty laugh. Fighting hysteria, she watched as the firefighters pulled up and sprang right into action, like the superheroes everyone knows them to be. They put out her fire in a single bound. Amanda didn’t move from her spot.
“Ma’am, are you alright?” One of the handsome firefighters put his hand on her shoulder, jarring her from the safe spot in her mind.
She looked at her car, what was left of it anyway; looked at his handsome face and smiled. “I’m great,” she answered. “Couldn’t be better.”
Chapter 43
Amanda was on her way home from work via the bus. She kept trying to
convince herself that this wasn’t the end of the world. Maybe it was even better! She didn’t have to deal with traffic, gas was cheaper this way, and she didn’t have to worry about insurance or maintenance. Yes, this was the life.
She laughed out loud, not caring if anyone heard. The fact was she had no choice. The bus would be her way of life now, like it or not.
Alex had felt terrible when he had seen the charred body of what had been left of her car. No one was sure what the cause of death was, but it was apparent that it was an aftermath of the accident. It was just as well. Alex had promised her that he was going to somehow, someway get another car for them to use. Although she didn’t feel it was too likely at this point, the offer touched her.
Amanda pulled the string, thanked her driver and started her trek home. She passed by a McDonalds and decided to bring home dinner. Alex was going to be home. Until they could figure out how to get him home at night, he had asked for a few days off.
She was surprised to find him sitting in the living room holding an envelope in his hands. He didn’t have the television or radio on, he was just sitting there.
“Hey, Al, are you okay?” She noticed that he looked like he was about to explode with excitement.
“I’m fantastic, Mom. I have good news.”
“Great, I could use some about now.” She plopped down on the couch. “What is it?”
He handed her the envelope. The return address was from the University of Arizona in Tucson. She looked at him before opening it. “What’s this?”
“I applied to the U of A, Mom. I’ve been accepted.”
“What? When?” She read his acceptance letter, tears running down her face. “Oh Alex, this is great!”
“I didn’t think I would get in, so I didn’t tell you. My guidance counselor wrote a letter of reference, because he is an alumnus. I really want to do this. I can probably get financial aid, it won’t cost you anything.”
Amanda hugged her son. “I think this is great. I’m just surprised. But, school starts soon, is everything in order?
At this point Alex ran to his room and returned with a large envelope. “I have all the financial papers filled out Mom. You just have to sign it and fill out your financial information. I can probably enroll this semester.”
Amanda was speechless. He was so different from Elisa. Elisa always let her know what she was up too, what her plans were. Alex did this without even mentioning it to her. It was so unexpected. She looked at her son. “Why didn’t you tell me Alex?”
“I wanted to surprise you. Plus, like I said, I wasn’t sure I was going to get in, and I didn’t want to disappoint you if I didn’t. I have to do something now that I’m out of high school. This feels right.”
Amanda was ashamed that she didn’t know this about her son. “I guess I didn’t realize you were planning a life without me knowing. I’m proud of you Alex; and of course, I’ll help you as much as I can, any way I can. I’m also glad that Aunt Blossom will be in town with you in case of an emergency.”
Alex groaned. “Mom, will she be coming over all the time?”
She laughed. “Probably not Al, she’ll probably just want to cook food for you and bring it over occasionally.”
He considered this for a moment. “Great!”
She rumpled his hair, which he ha
ted. “Go eat, I brought home some food. I’ll fill out the papers. Oh, and if you haven’t called your dad, now would be a good time.”
“Oh yeah! “ He took his food into the bedroom, and Amanda could hear him excitedly telling his father the same story she just heard. She smiled as she munched on her burger, filling out the papers that would send her son onto another phase of his life.
~~~
That evening, Amanda talked to Ray on the phone, spilling her guts. “Ray, my life is changing so fast, and in so many ways. Most of it is good ways, some of it is horrific, but, well, it’s just so much. I don’t even know how to deal with it, or figure out where I fit into it all.” She stopped to take a breath. “It’s so overwhelming!”
Ray laughed. “Dang Amanda, slow down! You don’t have to make any life-altering decisions today. You’re right about one thing, things are flying at you left and right, you hardly have had any time to digest them. You will, and then I know everything will just fall into place, if it’s right.”
Amanda knew Ray was right. Things were going to continue to happen at an alarming rate. Elisa’s wedding, Alex going off to college, where she should end up and how in the world was she going to pay for it all.
“Hello, you still there?”
“I’m sorry Ray, my head is spinning. Let me run this by you; I think I’m going to sell the house.”
He was stunned. “Wow, there’s another life-altering decision. Where did that come from?”
“I need money, and lots of it. I haven’t heard if Randy is going to help with the wedding, but whether he is or not, I’ll probably have to come up with thousands of dollars. I don’t have it, Ray. I have no savings whatsoever, and there’s no way I can save that much before I need it. It seems like my only option.”
“Where will you live, Mandy? It seems like the house is the only thing you have left.” He was worried that if her empty nest included a new nest, she’d have a hard time recovering on her own.
“I’ll rent a small apartment. Alex won’t be living here anymore, but I can still get a two bedroom for when he comes back in the summers. The house has become a burden, this might be better for me. For now, it seems right.”
“As long as you think it through, Mandy, and can live with the decision, it sounds like a good idea.”
“I don’t know Ray; I was just throwing it out there. I guess it wouldn’t hurt if I had a realtor come out and tell me what he thought. We’ll see.”
Ray hesitated before asking this next question. “Not that I’m pressuring you or anything, but have you thought any more about moving out here?”
Amanda didn’t want to admit that she thought about it all the time. Instead, she said, “No, how about you? Are you ready to become a Texan yet?”
Ray laughed. “Why yes, li’l dahling, always.” His tone took on a more serious note. “I wish I could, Mandy. I’d be there tomorrow. I just can’t right now.’
Amanda sighed. “Neither can I. I guess it’s something that won’t ever change between us, Ray.”
Ray disagreed. “Something will change, Mandy, you’ll see. If it’s meant to be, something will happen, and I firmly believe that it is.”
Amanda stayed quiet, her mood shifting. “I hope you’re right Ray. I think I’m going to call it a night. Thanks for listening to my ramblings.”
“I love you, Mandy. Don’t give up hope. Everything is going to turn out alright, I promise.”
Amanda hung up, feeling dejected. She wished she could feel the same way.
~~~
The next day at work, Ray decided to check out the job prospects in El Paso. Unfortunately, there were not many options. The thing of it was he had alimony and child support to pay…and a lot of it. Even though the cost of living was much lower, as were the salaries, he still had to make a certain amount to continue to live up to his court ordered obligations. As usual, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
He sent off a quick email to Amanda telling her what he was doing, and what he’d found. He didn’t want her to think that he wasn’t even looking into moving or finding out his options.
~~~
Alex was excited about going to college. It was a dream coming true. He was going to get to live in a dorm, go to parties and live life as an adult, without too many of the adult responsibilities. It was great!
Alex only had one hesitation about leaving, and that was leaving behind his mother. Would she be okay all alone in the house? Would she become sad and lonely, or would she see this as a new beginning and live life to its fullest? He wasn’t sure. The one thing he was sure of was that there was no way he could leave town if his mother didn’t want him to. He’d have to talk to her about it.
He got ready for work. He was working the day shift now. He left his mother a note that he would bring dinner home from the restaurant. He hoped he could catch a ride.
~~~
Amanda had arranged for a realtor to come over to appraise her house while Alex was at work. She was so nervous about it, but she had to do it on her own because she didn’t want anyone else to know.
The doorbell came and she was happy to find a distinguished older man at her door. “Mr. Walden?”
“Hi, Amanda, it’s nice to meet you.”
Jamie looked around her small home. “This is nice. Cozy. How many people live here?”
“Right now, there’s just my son and I.” She took him around to show him the rest of the house, telling him how much she’d paid, the mortgage, and answering all the other questions he had for her.
“I think we could sell this house for twenty-five thousand more than you bought it for.”
Amanda’s eyes widened. “I’ve only lived here six years!”
“The value of the neighborhood has increased over the years. You’re lucky. This would be a perfect time to sell, if that’s where you’re heading.
She looked around at her home, trying to hide the excitement she felt. It seemed like the right thing to do. She listened as he told her everything his job would entail if she chose to hire him. The next thing she knew, she was signing the papers that would make Jamie Walden her realtor!
“It will only take a few days to get the ball rolling, Amanda. I will be back to put a ‘for sale’ sign out front and a realtor lock on the door so other realtors can show it when you aren’t home. Okay?”
Surprisingly, Amanda nodded. She shook his hand and thanked him, then showed him to the door. As she shut the door behind him, she turned around and with her back against the door shouted, “I’m actually doing this!” She felt exhilarated, proving to her that this must be the right decision. She was so excited, she ran to the phone to call Ray.
“Guess what?”
He loved hearing her sound so excited. “What?”
“My house is going on the market!” She giggled uncontrollably.
“What? So soon? Wow, Mandy, are you sure?”
“I’ve never been surer. This is the answer to so many of my problems. A tremendous burden will no longer exist, and will solve other burdens. I feel good about this; no wait, I feel great!”
Amanda’s exuberance was contagious. Ray couldn’t help but laugh with her. “I’m happy for you, then. So now, you sell the house, and then what?”
“Oh Ray, don’t spoil the mood with logistics. Everything will pan out fine. I’m sure the house won’t sell overnight, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”
Ray wasn’t sure this was the right way to approach this, but he decided to wait until the next conversation to say it. Amanda deserved this night of happiness.
~~~
Alex brought home two carne asada burritos for dinner, happy he hadn’t had to carry them on the bus. He yelled out as soon as he got home. “Dinner’s here!”
Amanda came running out of the bedroom. “I’m starved! Thanks so much for doing this.” She happily set the table, humming as she poured the drinks.
“You’re in a good mood today, Mom.” He sat down and dug righ
t into his dinner. “So what’s up?”
“I made a decision today, Alex. I’m selling the house.”
Alex stopped mid-chomp. “What? Where will we live? Why, Mom?” He was incredulous.
Amanda went into her well-prepared speech. She explained the why, when’s and where’s about it. She explained how she needed money, and how hard it was for her to take care of the house on her own. She explained and explained until she saw that the wrinkles in her sons’ forehead were gone. “The bottom line honey is this. Home is wherever I am. Yes, you’ll come home from college and the place will be different, but it’ll be the home you've always known; the home I’ve always provided for you. Home is here.” She pointed to her heart. “I love you, Alex. This is the right decision for me. Please understand. I know change is hard, but my life is changing all around me. I’m doing my best to try and change with it, but you have to change with me too.”
Alex stared at Amanda, trying his best to grasp what she was saying. He did understand, in fact, it kind of answered his question from earlier. His mother was going to be okay, in her own way. He just had to let it happen. He grabbed her hand, even though his had sour cream and guacamole from the burrito. “Mom, I just have one question…when do we move?”
Amanda laughed and jumped up to hug her son. “Thank you, Alex.” She sat back down and her mood shifted a little. “That I don’t know. We’ll have to see when and if the house sells. We’ll just take it a day at a time, okay?” The shadow of fear of the unknown passed across her face for a brief second. “I’m sure everything will be fine and fall right into place. Your job is to get ready to go away to college and not worry about any of this, okay?”
“Okay. Does Elisa know?”
Amanda hesitated, even dreading to think about her reaction. “Not yet, but I’ll tell her soon.” Out of everyone in the family, Elisa hated change the worse.
“She won’t care; she doesn’t even live here anymore.’
Amanda hoped Alex was right.
When You Least Expect It Page 40
