by A. K. Morgen
I bit my lip to keep from crying out.
I stopped moving, even stopped breathing though I knew it wouldn’t make a difference.
Fenrir turned his head in my direction, his hateful gaze settling on me. His upper lip curled into that familiar snarl, the one that made my insides constrict with fear. My mind screamed silent warnings at me, demanding I flee this place and not look back, but I couldn’t leave. I was rooted to the spot, Fenrir’s glare holding me in thrall.
He growled, and the Earth shook below my feet. Pebbles glanced off my skin, stinging like bees everywhere they struck.
I waited for him to leap at me like he did every time I came here, but he didn’t.
The rage in his gaze changed, morphing as always into recognition. Something darker flickered in those yellow irises this time, something evil.
The demonic animal stepped aside.
Ice sprouted in my veins when I saw what I’d missed before.
“No,” I whispered, shaking my head, trying to deny the sight before me. “No.”
Dace stood beside Fenrir, a chain wound around his neck, binding him to the rock. The lights in his emerald eyes were wild, as savage and inhuman as Fenrir’s. He looked possessed, fighting against his chain with his lip curled in a soundless snarl. Blood dripped from wounds beneath the chain, trickling down his torso until it covered him in bright red streaks.
I cried out at the sight of him like this, so full of hatred, so possessed.
He looked at me as my cries bounced around us, looked through me. Nothing of the Dace I knew remained in his eyes. They were empty pits, unrecognizable and unrecognizing.
He lifted his head and screamed….
Between one heartbeat and the next, the scene spun. A new nightmare rose up like a mountain around me, ripping away Dace and Fenrir’s prison. But where Dace was future, or my nightmare version of it, this was past.
The dream was no less terrifying for it.
I ran through the woods behind my father’s house. Shrill, inhuman screams clashed with roaring howls behind me. They drowned out the terrified sobs ripping from my throat and drove me blindly forward. Blood trickled down my side.
I stumbled and fell.
I tried to scramble to my feet, panting from my mad flight and the overwhelming fear coursing through me. I lurched forward, grasping for something to keep me upright as I tried to find my center of balance.
A shadow moved, so much denser than the shadows surrounding me.
Yellow eyes met mine. White teeth flashed.
Hati.
I backed away from the massive wolf, too terrified to breathe, and tripped again.
Hati paced toward me, hunting me like a cat stalks a mouse. His yellow-eyed gaze lowered.
Run! You’ve got to run.
I knew I needed to listen to that voice, but I couldn’t move.
I opened my mouth to scream.
Hati leapt, flinging me backward into a tree stump. He dug his claws into me, pinning me to the ground, and tore into my side with his teeth. But, when I looked up this time, it wasn’t Hati killing me.
It was Dace….
My cries still echoed in the darkness around me when I jerked awake. I sobbed, trying to scramble into a sitting position in the dark room. I couldn’t sit up and couldn’t see.
“Arionna, it’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here.” Arms wrapped around me, pulling me into familiar warmth and strength.
Dace.
I burrowed into his arms, sobbing. “I’m s-s-sorry.”
“Shh.” He dragged me closer, crooning to me. His voice was thick and dark, his arms tense. His emotions lapped at me. Anger, heartbreak. Sorrow. Pain.
He saw what I did, felt what I did.
I couldn’t let him turn into that monster. I couldn’t.
I swallowed, trying to beat back fear.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked.
“It was just a dream,” I lied. I tried to smile in the darkness, but it wobbled on my face and fell. I didn’t have the heart to try again, not with my nightmares so close.
He tightened his hold when I trembled again, but didn’t push me to talk.
The clock on my desk ticked away the seconds. Neither of us spoke.
I lifted one hand and rested it against his jaw, still trying to force the nightmares away. Dace wouldn’t end up like Fenrir or Hati. He wouldn’t.
My trembling slowed but didn’t stop. I burrowed further into Dace, trying to bury myself in him. He held me tightly, his body a warm weight next to mine. His breath came evenly. Mine shook as it rattled from my chest.
My nightmare version of him refused to go away. It hovered behind my eyes, shaking me to the core. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t force it away. The rage in his eyes, the hatred….
I love you, Dace whispered. He pressed his face into my palm, the faint stubble on his chin scratching at my wrist.
“Kiss me,” I pleaded with him. My heart thumped unevenly.
He hesitated, his body stilling beneath mine.
For one long heartbeat, I thought he would deny me.
I held my breath.
He nipped at my wrist with his teeth. “You taste good,” he said then, rolling us until he hovered over me.
A shaky sigh fell from my lips. The nightmare version of Dace began to blur.
“Do I?” I leaned forward, flicking my tongue across his jaw. The taste of his skin on my tongue was as distinct and familiar as his scent. Spicy like cinnamon, sweet like apples and sugar. Warm and clean. I pressed myself against him again, trying to borrow some of his heat. “So do you.”
He dipped his head down, nuzzling at my neck. “You smell good too,” he said as he kissed and then bit a line down the soft skin of my neck. “Like flowers.”
“What kind?”
“Wildflowers.” He nuzzled his face into my throat. “And orchids. Definitely orchids.” His lips brushed across my cheek, seeking my mouth.
I turned my face to meet his.
“I love you,” he said as his lips came down over mine, parting them.
“Dace,” I whispered against his mouth.
His hands slid down my body. I plunged mine into his hair, holding him to me.
“Please,” I begged.
My body melted beneath his, sinking into the mattress, drawing him down with me.
The entire world spun away as his tongue swept into my mouth.
I groaned and clasped my hands behind his neck, pulling him closer as he kissed me, really kissed me, for the first time in weeks. Heat washed through me like a living thing, wiping away the horrible images from my dreams, and leaving nothing but Dace, my Dace, in their place.
I thought he would stop kissing me then, that he would pull away like usual, but he didn’t.
He shifted above me, changing the angle of his kiss, deepening it. Little jolts of sensation danced inside me like shadow puppets gliding across the walls. They spun, dipped, and twirled, growing each time he moved his hands across my body.
I arched into him, moaning as he traced patterns across my undamaged side with his fingers. He tugged my sweater up so he could freely explore my bare skin. The flames inside me blazed to infernos. Bright, liquid fire flowed like lava through me with each press of his palm to my skin, with each stroke of his fingertips across my stomach.
A thousand thoughts moved along our bond, each promise sealed with another kiss, another caress. With the searing heat of Dace’s soul touching mine. Of him responding to me with a desperation that had as much to do with unmet need as it did with fear.
His kisses were bittersweet, and so, so good.
He growled my favorite growl. The one that told me he was as crazy for me as I was for him. The one that told me waiting was as hard for him as it was for me. The one that screamed I belonged to him and to Geri, and to them only. The one that whispered to me that everything would be okay. That, somehow, we would make it through this.
Dace stroked his hand along my
hip, tugged me closer to his body. “You’re so beautiful,” he said against my mouth. His breath came in harsh pants, his body moving against mine with purpose and determination. He was a ball of sensation in my head, all lips and hands and teeth, and earthshaking need.
I nipped at his neck as he always did at mine. The way I felt when he did that to me was intense, as if he’d marked me in some wolfish way. I think that’s why he did it so often, to remind himself that I was there, that I chose him, or perhaps to remind me of the same.
Nipping at his skin was equally as intense. I wanted to leave my impression on him, burn it so deeply into his soul that he never forgot me and how much he meant to me. So he never forgot himself. I couldn’t get close enough to him, though. He couldn’t kiss me deeply enough.
Please, please, please, I chanted to him, wriggling beneath him, pressing myself against him until no space at all remained between us. Until his body met mine everywhere, pushing me gently into the mattress below me.
He growled again, his lips reclaiming mine. They were less gentle against mine this time, wilder. I tangled my hands in his hair, holding him to me. He flexed his hold around my hip. My stomach flipped, bottomed out, and then flipped again.
This was my Dace, the one who wanted me so desperately he couldn’t keep his hands off me―and didn’t really want to anyway. This was the Dace I knew, the one I had to save.
“Dace.” His name was little more than a sigh. A prayer that he not stop this time. That he keep going, all the way, and burn away the cold spot of fear still clinging like a vine to my soul.
“No,” he groaned as soon as I demanded more. He stilled above me, stopped stroking his fingers along my hip. His kisses slowed. “Not yet.”
I tugged at his hair, a little punishment for denying me what I wanted. What I needed now more than ever. I needed him to let go. Of control, of fear, and of himself. Just let go for once and banish the pervasive chill already growing and contorting inside me again.
He rained kisses across my face, over my eyes, pleading with me silently for understanding.
I understood. Truly, I did. Hati had nearly torn me in two. A few more seconds, a scant inch or two to the left… I shuddered lightly in Dace’s arms and pushed the thought away. I loved him more than I’d ever loved anyone. Maybe I didn’t have a choice in that any more than he did, but that didn’t matter. Not really. I couldn’t fault him for feeling the same way or for wanting me healthy. I just couldn’t, even if I did want to cry over his refusal to go further when I needed him so much.
I released his hair after one last tug.
“You make me crazy,” I sighed, half frustration, half acceptance.
“Good.” His teeth flashed in the pale light. “I like it when you’re crazy.”
“Get off me,” I grumbled and lightly punched him in the ribs.
He fell back onto the bed and dragged me back into his arms. “You make me crazy too, you know.”
“Do I?” I wrinkled my nose, my heart pounding beneath my skin. I loved when he said things like that to me. “Maybe I should be sleeping alone, then.”
“Not a chance,” he said and brushed a kiss across my forehead before settling back against the headboard. He positioned me between his legs, my head on his chest. “I’m not leaving this bed until your dad kicks me out of it.”
“Fine with me.” I snuggled against him.
We lay in silence for a long moment.
“I’m sorry about today,” he said, brushing my hair back from my face.
“I know.”
The thought of losing you wrecks me.
Geri rumbled his agreement, the first I’d heard from him since before my argument with Dace out there on the quad.
“I know,” I answered. “But you have to face it, Dace.”
He blew out a breath, shifting against me. Tension rolled from him again. So did regret. “I know, but I can’t.”
An image of him chained beside Fenrir floated to the surface again. Was that how this ended for us, then? With Dace like that? Full of hate? A danger to everyone? Hurting himself? Hurting me? He didn’t want that any more than I did. I knew he didn’t.
“I can’t lose you.” He sounded so small, and so much more vulnerable than I was used to.
“Please let it go, Dace.”
A tear slipped down my cheek.
The shards of ice inside me grew.
Even then, Dace didn’t bend. His determination to keep me safe flowed through me in painful rushes, lapping at my heart like erosive water against rock.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes, defeated.
slept fitfully, my subconscious flitting from one hazy, upsetting scene to the next. None of them made much sense to me, but, even asleep, I knew they weren’t anything I wanted to remember. Not even the warmth of Dace’s body nestled against mine eased my mind. He and Geri tried to soothe me, but, eventually, they stopped trying and simply held me as one disturbing vision after another played through my head.
A lifetime later, the dreams played themselves out.
I slept hard then, too exhausted to fight the weight dragging me into unconsciousness.
“Ari, baby, wake up.” Dad shook my shoulder, his voice full of urgency.
I opened my eyes immediately, then thought about closing them again. My bedroom was still dark, the only light coming from the hall. Dace still held me in his arms, his snores sounding softly in my ear. It wasn’t morning yet, and I didn’t want to be awake.
“Wake up, hon,” Dad said again.
“What?” I grumbled, blinking up at him. My mind refused to work right. “What time is it?” I rubbed sleep from my eyes, trying to focus through exhaustion.
“Dace, wake up, son,” Dad said, ignoring my question.
The stress in his voice brought me wide-awake. Something was wrong.
I glanced across at the clock on my bedside table. 3:00 a.m. The witching hour. Nothing good ever happened at 3:00 a.m. I thought about throwing the blankets over my head and going back to sleep. I didn’t want to know whatever Dad needed to tell us. It wouldn’t be good, and my heart couldn’t take any more damage right now.
Didn’t look like I had much of a choice in the matter, though. Dad wasn’t going away.
“Dace, wake up.” I reached out to shake Dace, but his eyes popped open as soon as I said his name.
He never rested, never relaxed.
The fracture inside me widened.
He looked at me and then at my dad, blinking rapidly. “What’s wrong?” His voice sounded rough and gritty.
Dad’s grim expression made my stomach flip uncomfortably.
“Alex?” Dace sat up in one fluid motion. He pulled me up with him, setting me slightly away from him as if scared Dad would yell at him for spending the night in my bed.
“I’m sorry, son, but your house….” The frown lines around Dad’s mouth deepened.
“My house?”
“It’s gone. Destroyed.”
“What?” Shock thrummed through me.
Dace’s body tensed beneath mine.
I reached out through our bond, but found only silence, as if he wasn’t thinking at all. I couldn’t even sense his emotions in that moment.
Geri stirred in his corner.
“What happened?” Dace asked. The question carried no inflection, as if he asked out of necessity instead of surprise or anger. Like he expected something like this to happen.
“Thomas is waiting for you downstairs,” Dad said. “The fire department got there as soon as they could, but there wasn’t much left to save.” He clamped a hand on Dace’s shoulder, that grave frown still etched across his face. “I’m sorry, son.”
“His house… burned?”
We weren’t having this conversation. I was still dreaming. I had to be dreaming.
Dad nodded, his brown eyes wide in his pale, drawn face. His sad, frazzled expression didn’t waver.
A chilling dose of real
ity hit me then.
This wasn’t a dream.
“When?” I demanded, my voice breathless and screechy at once. The word were laced with the beginnings of panic and hysteria.
Sköll and Hati burned Dace’s house to the ground.
I felt like the walls were closing in on me. If he’d been there… if he hadn’t practically moved in to keep an eye on me… I wanted to throw up.
“About an hour ago. Naomi tried calling, but your phone is off,” Dad said, looking at Dace.
My lips were numb. My body started shaking, chills working their way through me in icy blasts. After the day we had, how could this be happening now? Dace had already lost so much, and now this. In what world was that fair to him?
I didn’t really need to ask that question, though. I knew the answer. This had nothing to do with fairness and everything to do with punishment. Dace wanted to draw Sköll and Hati out today, wanted to rile them up. This was their response. This was their punishment. Dace had kicked over a hornet’s nest.
He exhaled, his breath escaping his lungs in a sharp whoosh.
My heart shattered at the forlorn sigh rippling through him.
How could they do this? How dare they?
Rage coursed through me, hotter than even the worst of Dace’s anger. I was so freaking sick of being afraid and watching Dace hurt. I was tired of being helpless, of feeling useless, when my world imploded again and again and Dace paid the price. I wanted Sköll and Hati to die, and I wanted it to hurt. I wanted them to feel everything they’d put us through, tenfold.
I clenched my hands into tight fists, the urge to rage and scream and kill making my heart thunder louder and louder until everything but the sound of blood fell away. I reached deep, searching for more anger, for the strength it lent me in that moment. I felt powerful, stronger than the cowardly girl who cried at the drop of hat. Stronger than the girl who awoke screaming every night. Stronger than the girl who couldn’t save her boyfriend.
That strength built inside of me like a storm wind, ferocious in its intensity. Tornadoes spun to life in my soul, twisting everything inside me into hard, unrecognizable lumps of steely emotion. I embraced it, welcoming the rush of adrenaline shooting through my veins. Reaching deeper, deeper… into that place where Freki rested, bound by chains stronger than those holding Fenrir in his prison.
