by Mia Faye
I couldn’t locate him anywhere else either.
It was almost comical that the way I ended up figuring out the Penguin Publishers building was because I kept trotting around hoping to bump into him.
Not that I had any idea what I was going to say to him when I did. Our last interaction had been weird, but he had come away from it with a misunderstanding. I wasn’t trying to cut off all contact with him, I just wanted us to keep things professional at work. I wanted to explain that to him; I needed to make him understand that part. I didn’t know why it was so important, but it was.
But that was the least of my problems.
On my second day, I got called into the boss’s office. Or at least that’s what she seemed to like. The office I walked into had the nameplate WYATT BANKS, but its occupant was a woman. I recognized her, though. She was the one who interviewed me; Meredith. There was something different about her. A certain tautness in her posture and expression. I knew right away this wasn’t going to be the happy, banter-filled dynamic we’d had during the interview.
“Hi, Yvette,” she said. “Please sit.”
I sat down across from her and crossed my legs.
“How are you settling in?” she asked, although I sensed it was more a need for verbal foreplay than genuine interest.
“Very well, thank you,” I told her. “Everyone has been so nice and welcoming. I’m enjoying my time here so far.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“I didn’t get a chance to thank you, by the way, for hiring me…”
“Oh, you don’t need to do that. You were the best candidate for the job by far. You earned it.”
“Thank you.”
“Sure.”She cleared her throat and reached for a small heap of folders, which she pushed onto the desk in front of me.“I’m sorry I wasn’t available to conduct your orientation in person. I had some personal business to attend to. Now, I know you’ve had a chance to speak with Mr. Palmer, our Managing Editor, about the general scope of your duties?”
“I… yes.”
Meredith frowned at me, her eyes burning holes into me from behind her bifocals. “Right,” she said, and I knew she wasn’t convinced. I wasn’t convinced myself. “Well, primarily, we’ll need you to maintain our database. I’m sure you’ve had some time to visit our library downstairs, so you’ll know where we keep all our documents? Right. So, the first task I’m going to assign you is a rigorous review of our existing physical database. I want you to go over all our old manuscripts, come up with a different filing system, and then we can get started with the migration. By the end of the year, we should have switched completely to an online database. But I want us to start with the manuscripts. Do you think you can handle that?”
“Of course. Gladly.”
“Good. I know it’s a lot of work, and I don’t mean to put pressure on you, but the faster you can get it done, the better.”
“I’ll get on it right away.”
“Excellent.”
I uncrossed my legs and started to get up, but Meredith held up a finger.
“One more thing. These are some new manuscripts we’ve been waiting for, from some of our most promising young writers. Now, as part of our policy at Penguin on encouraging young writers to get their stories out, we solicit and publish one story every year. These are the manuscripts we shortlisted. We’ll be publishing one of them, which means we’ll need to do a little weeding out first. I want you to take them home with you, give them a look and see which is the best. This isn’t as urgent, obviously. You can take your time with them, which is why I suggest going home with them, maybe reading a couple of chapters every night. I trust you’ll make a good decision on the most deserving one.”
“I’ll do my best, ma’am,” I said, but the panic was starting to creep in.
Meredith nodded, seemingly satisfied, and she waved a hand to indicate I could leave.
I grabbed the manuscripts and dashed out of the office. I didn’t stop until I got to my own office, and then I sat down and let the enormity of the workload settle over me.
It was a lot of work. There was no doubt about it. So much so that I would have to carry it home with me every day for God-knows how long. And I wasn’t even sure what I was supposed to do. There had been no ‘briefing’ with Cameron. I knew where the library was, but I also knew it contained rows upon rows of manuscripts, and I shuddered to think that I was required to go over every single one of them.
Already, I felt overwhelmed.
I sat there like that for a long time. My lunch break came and went, and I was still lost in thought and self-pity. Eventually, though, I remembered what Meredith had said, albeit dismissively. I was the best candidate. I had earned the job. It had to mean something that she was trusting me with this much work. Important work, too. She was basically leaving it up to me to pick the next manuscript Penguin published. It was an enormous responsibility, one I didn’t think she would take so lightly. It must have meant she had faith in my ability. Either that or she was testing me. Whichever the case, this was an opportunity for me to show what I was made of, and I wasn’t going to waste it.
I got started on the manuscripts right away. I figured the best approach was to make reading them the activity I carried out when my hands were free, or on the little breaks I got every now and then like on my commute to and from work.
In no time at all, I had a fairly clear picture of what I was dealing with; I was able to make an early decision with the first manuscript; the story was derivative, and it felt unoriginal, so I put it aside. But the next two were very well-written and had very compelling stories. I was hooked immediately by the third, and it quickly became my favorite. So, by the end of the week, I had narrowed it down to three, and I was tearing through them faster than I had expected.
It was the longest week of my life. Every day I got home completely drained, and I often went straight to bed after eating. I was so exhausted I was able to resist the temptation to walk over to the window and peer across to Cam’s apartment.
When Friday finally rolled around, I gave a long exhalation as if I was emerging from a tunnel after a long, dark journey. I was happy with the work I’d done with the manuscripts, but less so with the database; I wasn’t even close to figuring out how to go about it.
As always, I carried the manuscripts home with me, intending to finish them over the weekend. I knew Meredith had told me to focus on the database first, but I felt that it made more sense to free up my time first, pick out the best manuscript, and then turn to the library.
It wasn’t like I had any other plans; Tyler had called to check in and apologize for not being able to come over and celebrate my first week at a new job with me. Since he wasn’t going to be there, I decided there wasn’t really a reason to go all out in the name of celebration. A simple glass of wine would do, and a nice, long bath to take my mind off things.
Not for the first time, I found myself wishing I lived in the apartments across from mine. And not just because they were better; the compound also had a pool, which I wasn’t initially aware of. I saw it as I was returning from the grocery store. It was on the other side of the building, away from the entrance; I hadn’t noticed it because the first time I walked into the building had been in the dark, and since then, I had been too swamped with work. It looked so inviting, the blue water almost winking at me in the dim lighting of the setting sun. And just like that, the idea popped into my head.
It would be a great place to relax and unwind. I could bring my manuscript, sit by the pool, and thumb through it. Once the seed was planted, I simply had to do it.
I waited till around midnight when I was sure everyone was asleep. It was impossible not to think back to that first night as I walked across the street to the other side. It seemed so long ago, the wind whipping my nightgown around my ankles, my mind filled with lust, and my body primed.
I made it to the pool without incident. Cam had mentioned to me that there was an eli
te security protocol around the apartments, but he hadn’t elaborated. I kept looking out, expecting to see a burly security guard bearing down on me, but there was none to be seen. Not that I was going to complain.
I dipped a toe in the water. It was nice and warm. I threw all caution to the wind, cast aside my gown, and slipped into the pool. I could feel the tension leave my body as I floated in the middle, just lying there and letting the water carry me. It was so easy to drift off, I thought. I was weightless, carefree, and therefore stress-free. I could get used to this.
I was so in the moment I didn’t hear the soft footfalls approaching the pool, or my name being called out. When I opened my eyes, though, I was suddenly aware of a dark figure crouching on the edge of the pool, staring right at me.
My heart leaped right into my mouth. My first thought was that the security guard had finally come for me, and I was about to get kicked out. But then I wiped the water from my face and eyes, and I realized I knew those chiseled, striking features. I knew them a little too well.
“Couldn’t stay away, huh?” Cam asked. His grin was so warm and familiar it was almost like no time had passed since that afternoon outside that van when he looked down at me and ignited my soul.
“Honestly, no. I couldn’t. This pool has literally been calling me by name.”I knew he had been talking about himself, but I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction.
“Right. The pool.” His grin told me he knew exactly what I was doing.
I paddled my way over to where he was at the very edge of the pool. He was in beach shorts and a very small white T-shirt that hugged his every muscle.
“Have you been avoiding me?” I asked him.
His eyebrows came together in a frown, but after a moment, he smiled.“Maybe a little,” he said. I was surprised by his honesty.
“Because of what I said in my office?”
“Perhaps,” he said. He straightened up and reached for the hem of the T-shirt, taking it off with one fluid motion. “Mind if I join you?”He didn’t wait for me to respond. He arched his body, twisting it beautifully as he dived into the pool, sending the water splashing in every direction. Including my face and, incidentally, my mouth.
I waited for the water to settle and for his head to pop back up, and then I splashed as much water at him as I could. Naturally, it evolved into a spirited water fight, and the two of us were soon squealing and giggling like kids.
“So?” Cam asked me when I finally lifted my hands in surrender. “How was your first week at Penguin?”
“Extremely hectic,” I said immediately, and Cam laughed.
“What, Meredith is riding you too hard?”
“Not at all. But she has dropped a mountain of work on my desk, and I’m still figuring out how to approach it.”
“Let me guess. She wants you to review the old database?”
“Yes! And it’s this enormous thing! There are rows and rows of boxes and files and papers, and I just can’t.”
“Oh, I know. That was my first task, too, when I joined Penguin.”
“Really? What were the manuscripts made of, papyrus?”
“You know, I missed that sharp tongue of yours, Yvette Matthews.”
“For real, though. Can you at least help me figure it out?”
“Sure. I’ll give you a couple of pointers, don’t worry.”
“And will you stop being mad at me? Please?”
Cam swam over to me, closer than we had been in days. I thought for a moment he was going to kiss me, but he pulled his hand out of the water and stretched it out to me.“I’m not mad. But let’s call a truce anyway.”
I shook his hand, a smile spreading out on my face. “Truce.”
Chapter 8
Cameron
I couldn’t shake this feeling that I was forgetting something. I stood at the door to my apartment for almost five minutes, trying to figure out why I felt so discombobulated. It had been a bad idea to spend the better part of the night with Yvette. Once we got out of the pool, she pulled out a bottle of wine and called me a pussy when I tried to say no to it. And so, we drank, and we stayed up chatting and catching up. I had missed her more than I was willing to admit at that point, more than I had realized. We had such an easy banter, such effortless chemistry I didn’t even notice how late it was getting until one of my neighbors emerged from the building, fully dressed for work.
At that point, the bottle of wine had long been drained, and both Yvette and I were starting to slur our speech. I walked her back to her apartment, managing the supreme effort it took not to go in for the kiss, then I went back to mine and collapsed on the couch.
Meredith’s phone call woke me hours later. It seemed like minutes as if I had barely closed my eyes before I had to open them again. Indeed, I had only slept for three hours.
Apparently, Wyatt had slipped in the shower and almost broken his leg, so Meredith was with him at the hospital and wouldn’t be able to go into work. She needed me to make a quick trip to the office. Some important documents needed approval, and it had to be done before noon. I couldn’t say no. Her words about recommending me to the board were still fresh in my ears, and I knew this was another test she was throwing my way, another chance to prove my mettle to the board.
So, I dragged myself to the shower, and I got some coffee into my system. It was enough to revive me, even though I knew I would be on zombie mode for the rest of the day. The only problem was the niggling feeling that there was something I ought to have been doing.
Eventually, I shrugged and gave up. It would come to me, I reasoned.
I got through Meredith’s job easily enough; she had an impeccable filing system, and it wasn’t difficult to find the documents she had been referring to. I wondered for a moment why she didn’t just take over from Wyatt herself; she was already doing his job, and she had been for years. But then I took a look around the office, and I noticed she had not even moved in there yet. Everything was exactly as Wyatt left it. Family photos, his stationery, all undisturbed. And I realized she might never have wanted this life, that she had been content being part of his company but had no interest in running it.
I headed back to my office deep in thought. Would I ever get to that point myself? Would I ever be able to walk away from the job? Somehow, I doubted it. It was all I knew; my whole life had been studying and then starting a career I had always dreamed about. I didn’t know what I would do if I didn’t have this…
I stopped dead in my tracks, right in front of my office. The horror started deep in my belly and spread, like hot lava, all through my body. I hadn’t forgotten something; I had forgotten someone.
I turned and ran from the office as a man possessed. I got to the parking lot and fumbled with the keys, my fingers trembling uncontrollably. Emma. I had forgotten to pick up my daughter.
I was speeding long before I got on the highway. I put my foot down on the pedal as often as I dared, taking risks I knew I shouldn’t but not caring. My heart was pounding deafeningly in my ear. The horror had not left my belly; it was now a dull ache of shame, slowly morphing into the cold, hard realization that I had fucked up badly. Knowing Vicki, there would be no coming back from this.
I screeched into her driveway and bolted from the car before the engine was off. I ran, breathless, to her front door and knocked.
After a few more increasingly loud knocks, the door swung open, and Victoria Marsh was staring at me with a mixture of disgust and pity.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
Vicki shook her head. “No.”
“I got called into work unexpectedly,” I said, pleading. “I thought I’d run to the office and be out real quick. I miscalculated.I’m really sorry.”
Vicki threw a quick glance over her shoulder, then she stepped out of the house, closing the door behind her.“I told her you’re not coming,” she said.
“What? Why?”
“Because you weren’t.”
“I was Vicki. I was just run
ning a little late.”
“Oh, you had to rush to work on a Saturday? Again. That’s not a winning argument, Cam. And not an excuse you want to keep making to your daughter.”
I dropped my face into my palms.“Please, can I just speak to her, apologize to her?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Vicki said. She crossed her hands and pursed her lips as if I didn’t already understand the gravity of the situation. “I’ve made excuses for you too many times, Cameron. I know you think I’m a bitch because of it, but it’s not fair to Emma, and I’m not going to let you keep doing this to her.”
“It happened one time, Vicki,” I said, a little defiance creeping into my voice.
“Really? You actually want me to bring up the instances in which you’ve disappointed your daughter? How about the time you forgot to pick her up from school? Huh? And she waited on those steps for an hour before you remembered you had a child?”
“That was a misunderstanding, Vicki. And I’ve tried to explain this to you so many times. I got the times mixed up. I thought I was supposed to be at the school at four.”
“And what was your excuse at that time? Same as the one you just used. Work. Something came up at work. You had to rush in to save the day at work. It’s always that damn job, Cam. And where are you now, huh? What has all this time you’ve given them earned you?”
“I really don’t want to fight with you, Vicki. I just want to take my daughter to Six Flags, as promised.”
“And I already told you, that’s not going to happen. I told Emma something came up, and you wouldn’t make it. I promised her I would take her to Six Flags myself.”
“I don’t think that’s necessary—”
“You know what else I’m going to do?” She sounded vicious now. I knew her well enough to recognize when she was ramping up to something, and it was never good. “I’m going to file for full custody. I’m going to ask a judge to revoke your parental rights, since you never wanted her anyway, and she was always the thing you had to sacrifice your job for. So, I’m going to take that burden from you. You can stay married to your job for all I care, but I’m done letting you hurt Emma.”
