“He sure did,” she confirmed.
“I guess all of my secrets are out now,” Finn said, rocking back on his heels.
“Critter is very happy that you and Sawyer found each other,” my mother said, looking between Finn and Critter.
He was?
Finn’s smile was a sad one. “That’s nice to hear. The last conversation we had about me and Sawyer ended with him telling me that he was gonna…well, we don’t need to get into it here let’s just say it ends with me in parts.”
“He threatened you?” I asked, both shocked and secretly elated that Critter was so protective over me when he’d known Finn his entire life and had only met me a few months before.
“Of course,” Finn said, leaning against the wall. “That’s what good fathers do to protect their daughters. I’d expect nothing less than the threat of an ass-kicking every other week at the very least.”
My mother looked over to Critter. “He’ll live to threaten another day. Because just like you, Finn, I have faith that he is going to pull through. I can feel it.” She placed her hand over her chest.
Finn excused himself again to the cafeteria where he told me he was going to get me some food whether I liked it or not.
“Two-decades and this still isn’t over yet,” my mother sighed. “But it needs to be over. It needs to end now.” There was a determination in her eyes when she said out loud the thoughts I’d been thinking all along.
My mother continued and I found myself nodding along to everything she was saying. I grew angrier and angrier with each sentence she spoke. “After all these years one man has still found a way to terrorize this family, despite all he’s already put us through. It’s still not enough. Keeping me against my will wasn’t enough. Threatening my family wasn’t good enough. Poisoning my husband…” she paused and composed herself. “It’s the final straw. I’m tired of standing by and doing nothing. He’s not going to stop. It will never be enough.” Her voice trailed off. “It will never be enough until we’re all dead.”
“And yet there doesn’t seem to be a single thing we can do about it.” I said, my frustrations bubbling up to the surface all over again.
“Or maybe, there is,” she whispered, the corner of her lip turning upward in a half smile. She took a deep breath and suddenly stood up from her wheelchair. I leapt up, half-expecting to have to catch her if she fell. But she didn’t fall. She straightened her shoulders and walked over to Critter’s beside like a queen ready to take care of the kingdom while the King was temporarily unable. She lifted his hand into hers and kissed it before covering it with her other hand.
This was a woman whose will, who’s very being had been burnt to ashes and yet here she was, ready to fight for her family. The determination radiating off her was almost tangible. I felt proud. I felt my own resolve to fight build from within me all over again.
For the first time in a long time I had a feeling that everything was okay. I guess you could even say that I had faith. And just maybe it was because of that faith that a deep voice bellowed from the bed behind me.
“What in the hell is all the fuss about?”
Chapter 17
Finn
I came into the room to find Critter awake and alert. He looked between Caroline and Sawyer then back again. He smiled, his moustache turning upward.
“Now I told you not to make a fuss,” he groaned, adjusting his position on the bed, trying to sit up higher.
Sawyer leaned down and wrapped her arms around Critter. Her shoulders shook with her joy, making my own heart skip a few beats and the tears pick the back of my eyes.
I may have grown up surrounded by these people, but to find out that Sawyer was related to Critter was probably the best news I’d ever heard, despite his threats toward me.
Because now it wasn’t just my family. It was OUR family.
“Hey mama. Hey kiddo,” Critter, wrapping one arm around Sawyer and the other Caroline.
“It’s so beautiful, man.”
I looked over to Miller who was sobbing at the sight. Tears streaming down his face. Strings of saliva connecting his teeth.
I laughed because I couldn’t NOT laugh.
Josh rolled her eyes and dragged Miller from the room. “Let’s let them have some time. You can come talk to him later,” she told him.
“You promise?” Miller squeaked as Josh lead him from the room with a wave over her shoulder.
The doctor showed up just as they left. The same one who saw Critter on the first day he was brought in by ambulance. “How are you feeling?” she asked Critter, checking numbers on a machine above his head.
Critter winced as Caroline adjusted his pillow. He continued to wince until he was settled back against them again.
“How am I feeling?” Critter repeated, his bushy eyebrows reaching into his forehead. “Like I’m in a god damned hospital. But I’m alive. So, there’s that.”
“You are,” Caroline said. “You’re here.”
“And so are you, baby.”
The looks they were exchanging were so full of love I thought immediately of my father’s words. Critter and Caroline had that forever factor he spoke about. I looked to Sawyer and I could see our future together. Our lives spent here in Outskirts. If I hadn’t known it before I knew it then. Sawyer was always meant to be my forever. And I was always meant to be hers.
“I never thought I’d talk to you again,” Sawyer admitted. “When they were carting you away…” she paused.
“Sorry I scared you,” Critter said. “I won’t do it again. I promise.”
The doctor started to ramble off something using words like toxicity, ingesting, countermeasures, and just in time. She finished with, “You’re lucky to be alive.”
“Thanks, Doc,” Critter said. “But what the hell happened? Should I worry about it happening again?”
We all stiffened. All of us of course except for the doctor who simply shrugged and kept her eyes trained on her clipboard. “Not unless you plan on being poisoned again any time soon.”
The room was dead silent as Critter’s eyes slowly widened. His fists curled up into balls on the bed. The only noise in that room was the echo of the doctor’s heels as she marched down the hall.
And the sound of Critter’s blood boiling.
Chapter 18
Sawyer
It had been a few weeks since Critter was released from the hospital. Since then Josh was working with my mother and Critter to make their case against Richard. They didn’t involve me. They said it was best if I knew as little as possible about what they were up to.
Finn still wanted to skip town. I still wanted to stay and be close to my family, and I still had to make sure someone was with me at all times as a safety measure.
At least Critter was home now. And with him and my mother getting better every day (she hadn’t slipped back to thinking it was two decades ago at all since the hospital) I felt relieved. But there was something else nagging me. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on.
After all the events of the last few months, I felt utterly run down.
I pulled out a chair from one of the tables and sat down, propping my feet up on another. Since Critter was out spending time with my mother, Josh had volunteered to put in some hours after her police shift. As did Finn who was in the back cleaning dishes and Miller, who was out back taking a delivery.
Speaking of which, the delivery man who’d delivered the whiskey they believed poisoned Critter disappeared with his family and hadn’t been seen since that morning.
Coward.
“Why does it take four of us to do the job of one man?” I asked Josh who was refilling napkin dispensers.
"I knew that man was a machine but damn. He really does do it all.”
I tried to laugh but I was too tired to conjure up the energy.
“You don’t seem like yourself lately. Is it your mother? Critter?” Josh asked. Her gold bangled bracelets clanked as she reached over and set
her hand on top of mine. Her smile was genuine but sad. Lines of concern were etched all over her usually smooth and perfect face.
I shook my head just as another wave of nausea washed over me. Churning my stomach, threatening to force out everything I’d eaten that morning. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths until, thankfully, the threat subsided.
I waited a few beats to make sure the feeling was completely gone before I spoke. “No, it’s not my mother or Critter. I just haven’t been feeling great. I think I ate something bad.”
"Again? There’s no way someone eats something bad that often." Josh rounded the table and pulled up a chair next to mine. “Like HOW have you not been feeling great?” She asked, scooting her chair closer until her knees were against my thigh.
“It's nothing,” I said, waving her off. “I’m just a little lightheaded.” Just thinking about throwing up made me woozy. “but I haven’t thrown up,” I added, like that would make all the difference in my diagnosis.
“That’s not specific enough, Say.” Josh leaned back and placed her feet on the same chair as mine. “What else have you been feeling?” she asked with a casual shrug, looking down at her nails. “Don’t leave anything out.”
I took a moment to think. “Uh…there are some other things,” I said quietly.
“What kind of other things?” Josh asked ten times as loud as if her yelling would make me speak up.
I looked around to make sure Miller and Finn weren’t around. “Things…things I don’t feel comfortable talking about.”
Josh nodded like she understood and pulled her feet from the chair, leaning in closer. “What if I list some common symptoms of some things and you just nod or shake your head?” she asked. “Would that be easier?”
“I can do that,” I said, feeling a lot more comfortable with her idea.
“Are you…sore anywhere?” She asked, refilling the napkin dispenser at the table we were sitting at.
I nodded.
“Okay. Do any of those areas include your tender lady areas? You know, breasts? Vagina? Both?”
I nodded again.
“Do you feel more tired than usual?” She asked. “Never mind. I can answer that one. It’s a yes. Those bags under your eyes weren’t built in a day.”
She was right. “I’m too tired to feel insulted.”
“Do you find yourself more sensitive to smells lately?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” I said, adding, “although you sprayed enough of that disinfectant on this table to use it in a hospital.”
“Okay, how about this one, have you had your period in the last month?” Josh asked.
I thought about her question but couldn’t give a definitive answer. “I’m not sure. I’ve never really kept track. Although, it hasn’t been recently, so it’s possible I haven’t had it in a while.”
“Like what’s a while?”
“Well, I’ve been here for over three months. I don’t remember getting it since I’ve been here.” I said.
Josh looked at me, turning her head and nodding like she was waiting for me to come to a conclusion I wasn’t coming to. “And? What do you think?” I asked. “Flu?”
Josh leaned forward and placed a hand on each of my knees. “Sawyer, do you think there is any possibility that you could be pregnant?”
I almost laughed as I shook my head. “No. It’s not possible.”
“What do you mean it’s not possible? Don’t even try and lie and say that you and Finn aren’t bumping uglies.” Josh crossed her arms over her chest.
“If bumping uglies means what I think it means, then yes. We are. But I can’t get pregnant.”
“And why is that?” Josh asked.
“Because Finn and I aren’t married.” As soon as the words left my mouth I realized how stupid that sounded. I was reciting something I’d been taught at an early age. Something I never even considered to challenge. Except, if I’d have spent any time thinking about it at all I would have come to the conclusion I’d just came to in about twenty seconds. Not only wasn’t that true. It was downright ridiculous. “I know, I know,” I groaned. “I just realized how stupid that sounded too.”
Josh looked like she was contemplating her words as she bit the inside of her cheek. She spoke slowly. Cautiously. “Sawyer, I don’t know what you were taught, but it is possible for a man to get a woman pregnant without them being married. If you don’t believe me just ask my cousin Corinne. She’s got a baby daddy in every county from here to Miami.”
A pit in my stomach began to grow. I placed my hands over where I’d unbuttoned the top button of my shorts that very morning getting ready for work. I remember blaming their snugness on shrinkage from the wrong dryer setting.
“Have you ever seen an episode of Teen Mom?”
“Uh. No.”
“Let me ask you this. Do you and Finn use anything while you get down to business?” Josh asked.
Use anything? Like what?
I blew out a long-frustrated breath. I felt my skin tingling. A warning of impending feeling overload. “I don’t know. Are there other things to use besides your…you know? Your parts?”
Josh knelt in front of me and pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. She tapped my leg with each option she listed. “I meant like birth control. Condoms? Pills? Pulling out?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” I answered.
Josh sighed. “Baby girl, this is my fault. I knew you and Finn were getting closer. I should have had the birds and bees talk with you.”
“You use bees?” I asked, my eyes widening. “How?”
“You have got to be kidding me!” Josh exclaimed.
“Okay, that one was a joke,” I admitted. “But I still don’t know what you mean.” I was trying to play it off. Trying to make a joke of it all, but the reality was that I’d never been so embarrassed in my life.
“It’s just an expression. A pretty stupid one now that I think about it.”
I growled, hating that I was still so naive about the world. I thought I was doing well for someone who didn’t grow up in mainstream USA immersed in pop culture.
I was wrong.
I was embarrassed above all else.
Of course, you could get pregnant even if you weren’t married. Marriage wasn’t some magic fertility ritual.
“Oh,” I sat up. “I might be pregnant.”
I might be pregnant.
“It just now occurred to you?” Josh asked, slapping me on the arm with a folded-up napkin.
“Apparently, I’m slow at catching on,” I said.
There could be a baby inside of me. OUR baby. A life that depends on me. A spark of what I could only describe as unconditional love planted deep inside of me and with each passing second it grew until I was practically humming with love for this baby I hadn’t even known if I was really carrying yet.
“It takes two to tango, Sawyer. Finn was there too.”
Yes, he was.
Uh oh. Finn. What was Finn going to think when I told him that because of my stupidity I could be pregnant with his baby?
An odd sort of thrill jolted through me and I found myself fighting a smile. He’d said he wanted kids someday. With me. I took a deep calming breath. Which was perfect timing because the back door opened and Finn sauntered in, draping his sweat drenched shirt across the back of his neck and shoulders.
The second he saw me he knew something was going on. I must have had panic written all over my face.
“Shit. What the hell happened?” Finn asked. “What’s wrong, Say?” He crossed the bar and crouched down where Josh had just been. She stood up to make room for him, leaning up against the bar.
I covered my face with my hands but he gently pulled them away and tipped my face up so our eyes met. I shook my head. Embarrassed that even if I could find the words that I still wouldn’t be able to relay them properly. “I can’t. I just can’t.”
“What happened?” Finn repeated his question, this time to Josh
and in a much harsher tone.
Josh didn’t crack joke or even smile. She remained serious, yet calm. Her voice softening to a tone I’d never heard her use before. I could tell she was trying very hard not to make me feel worse than I already did. “Sawyer hasn’t been feeling well.”
“Still?” Finn asked. “Stomach flu? Cold? I’ll run to the general store. What can I get you? Or better yet, we’ll just take you to the Doctor down the street. He does walk-in’s. Come one let’s go.” He stood and pulled me up with him as he looked me over for obvious signs of sickness.
I looked to Josh for help. Pleading with my eyes to not make me be the one to tell him. I was being a coward but I’d been so strong in other areas. I could bomb at bravery at this one little thing.
“Wait,” she said, tugging on Finn’s shirt. “Take a seat.”
Finn reluctantly sat and I did the same. “Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?”
“Sawyer, doesn’t quite remember when the last time aunt flow came to town, but she doesn’t think it was this month,” she said. “Or since she’s been in Outskirts.”
I winced.
Finn’s entire demeanor became stone.
I cringed and waited for him to pull his hands from mine, but he didn’t. “Why didn’t you say something?” He asked gently, giving my hands a squeeze.
I felt my face reddening. “I didn’t know. I didn’t think it was possible. I feel so stupid.”
“Why?” Finn stroked my hair. When I went to put my head down again he wouldn’t let me. “Look at me, Say.” Finn was smiling, laughing at my wanting to hide my face from him. “Why do you feel stupid? Come on. Look at me.”
I slowly looked up. Our eyes met. “I just thought I wasn’t feeling good.” I pressed my lips together and paused. “And I didn’t think it was a possibility because...I thought…” I spit the last words out like rapid fire. The fastest sentence I’d ever spoken in my life. “I thought you had to be married to get pregnant.” Even I had to laugh this time. “See? I’m stupid. And therefore, I find myself to be very embarrassed right now.”
The Outliers: (The Outskirts Duet Book 2) Page 10
