I sprang out of bed and put on my running gear. I opened my small window to check the temperature. It was brisk and cloudy, but not cold. I put on Mary’s running leggings and the fitted running jacket. I tied my shoes, put on my watch to check my heart rate, grabbed my room key, and walked out. I heard a murmur of voices coming from the common room. Helen was sitting behind the desk, glued to the computer screen.
"Ah, Charlotte, there you are! I didn’t see you at breakfast. I figured you might’ve still been feeling sick," she said, giggling. "As a matter of fact, I haven’t seen Alec, either. Did he get sick too?"
"Uh, yeah, he must’ve been sick too." She looked at me curiously. I had to give in. They would figure it out eventually. "OK, you caught us. We were just talking. We didn’t realize the time. Nothing happened," I explained, feeling like I needed to explain that I wasn’t a cheater, or rebounding with the groom at the Welsh bed and breakfast.
"Charlotte, you don’t need to explain anything. I’m not going to judge you for falling in love, dear," she said softly. "I’ve never seen Alec so happy. I consider him like a son to me, so that’s saying a lot."
"Really?"
"Yes. I think you were meant to come here for some reason. I think destiny pointed you our way, and you’ve done nothing but make it happier and better here," she continued. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear those words until I felt a tear drip down my cheek.
"I love it here," I said, a sob escaping me. I was overly emotional. Her words had struck a chord.
"Well, that’s good, because you have a job to do here, and a man that seems to care an awful lot about you."
She came over and hugged me tenderly. I wondered if it was possible to feel closer to this woman that I’d only met six weeks ago than to my own mother. I sobbed into her shirt for a few seconds more, completely overwhelmed. There was a reason I was here. I was doing good all around. Helen had validated that.
"I’m going on a run. Thank you, for everything. You and George have changed my life, for the better. So much better," I admitted. It was true. They’d taken a chance on me and I would be eternally grateful.
Helen waved me off, and I set out on my run. I started slow; I hadn’t had a proper run in a couple of months. I knew I’d be out of shape. I slowly jogged down the driveway to warm up, and once I got onto the road, I sped up. There was no shoulder, so I ran on the dirt paralleling the road. After a mile or so, I saw a trail leading down onto the beach. I quickened my pace, sprinting across the road and down the trail, running as fast as I could without falling, breathing heavily. I felt the blood pumping through my whole body, and soon I started to get the runner’s high. I could feel the sweat dripping down my face, and the muscles all over my body worked to move me forward as efficiently and as quickly as possible.
I ran along the beach, towards the forest where Alec had taken me last night. I needed a break from the sand, and the packed dirt felt amazing on my calves after a mile in the sand. I slowed my pace a bit, trying to find a clear-cut trail. I didn’t see one, but I knew I was headed in the right direction. Trees faded quickly as I ran past them, leaping over branches and piles of leaves. My legs were on fire from the unfamiliar terrain, but I needed to run. I felt the urge on a deeper-than-physical level. My mind was pulling me forward. My body was succumbing.
Finally, out of breath and dripping with sweat, I ended up on the same cliff from last night. I stood there, hands on my hips, doubled over for a minute to catch my breath. I hadn’t realized that this was where I wanted to come until now. When I cooled down, I sat on the edge without being scared. I smiled. Alec had helped me conquer one of my fears. I felt invincible.
I sat there for what seemed like an hour, just thinking. I’d only just been here with Alec, twelve hours ago, and he’d kissed me. Could I have imagined this to be my life when I flew to Swansea six weeks ago? How could I have known that I would be doing PR for a small B&B in Wales, riding horses, eating a lot of beef stew, and kissing a handsome Irish man? It seemed crazy, and yet, not out of the ordinary. It felt like a natural progression. I hadn’t even mourned the loss of my marriage.
When I thought that, I realized… I had mourned my marriage. For five months, I’d mourned my marriage. Ever since the day Lainey had told me that Harry and I would not end up together, I’d mourned our happy memories, our life together, and what could’ve been. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but I was saying goodbye, slowly. I had been living each day as if we'd had an end date, which we had. I wasn’t mourning the loss of my husband anymore, because I’d already done all of the crying and moping. I wasn’t 100% over it, but I realized that I was way more grounded than I should be for just having been left by my husband of almost seven years.
I was only a short distance from the pub, so I decided to visit Mary and possibly get a ride back to the Parc. My legs were already cramping, so there was no way I could make it back to the Parc at this point. I was completely exhausted. I walked quickly down the cliff, and wound around the forest, heading back towards the road. I walked south for a mile before getting to the front door of the pub. I’d figured out how to get around here fairly quickly. There was only one main road, which paralleled the beach, so it was easy to find your way. I hoped I didn’t seem too sweaty and gross. The doorbell chimed as I walked in and, lucky for me, Mary was sitting at the bar, looking bored. I guessed they didn’t get much business on Saturday afternoons.
"Well, well, well… look what just walked through the door," she joked. "Henry told me that you and Alec were out all night. He’s the night guard. He sees all." She looked me up and down. "Also, did you run here? It’s over ten miles."
"I needed to clear my head," I explained. It was true. I could tell I had run a far distance because two hours had passed. "Alec kissed me last night."
"Shut. Up," she squealed, clapping her hands excitedly. She poured me a glass of Guinness and brought it over, sitting far too close for me to feel comfortable in my current state.
"It’s true. Hey, can I please get some chips or something? I haven’t eaten all day. I woke up at noon because we were up all night talking."
Mary held a finger up and ran into the kitchen. A second later, she brought out a massive bag of crisps and sat back down, opening them for me.
"Spill."
I sat there talking and gesturing with my hands in between taking sips of my beer. I didn't leave a single detail out.
"Anyways, it was a short kiss, but I am a goner. I am so far gone, Mary. And I’m scared."
I sat there sipping my beer and munching on my crisps. It felt a little counter-intuitive to be drinking beer and eating crisps after a run, but I reasoned that I needed some sodium and carbs to balance the electrolytes and calories lost from so much sweating.
"That’s so romantic," she sighed. "I’ve known Alec for a long time, Charlotte. He’s never acted this way about anyone. He never took Gemma riding," she offered.
"I’m sure I’m not the only one in all the eight years he’s worked here. I mean… just look at him."
"I don’t think you get it. I don’t even know if he’s ever been in love."
I let that sink in for a minute. He’d never been in love? Surely, that wasn’t true. He was so handsome. Then I thought about his personality when I first met him, and reasoned that it made sense that no one had gotten this far with him. He didn’t let people in easily. Maybe he had been waiting for the right person. In reality though, how often did guests stay long enough to get to know him? It was just a matter of him opening up to me because he had gotten to know me. There was no other reason. I wasn’t… the one. I couldn’t possibly be his type. Natasha… she was his type. I was just convenient.
"We’ll see where it goes," I added casually. If I was being honest, I was terrified of admitting my intense feelings for Alec.
"I have to ask, because he’s my husband’s best friend. Where do you see this going?"
"That’s not a fair question. We haven't even had a firs
t date!"
"Can you honestly tell me that this is just a casual vacation fling?"
"Of course not, but, what, ask Alec to move to Los Angeles? Do long distance? None of those things appeal to me."
"Well, what if you stayed in Wales?"
"I feel like you’re biased," I joked, grabbing her hand. "I would love that. If not only because we could share clothes," I teased. We both laughed for a bit. "But in all honesty, I just can’t think that far ahead. I am an open book. Wherever fate takes me, I will go. I’ve never felt this way about a guy, that’s for sure."
"Not even your ex-husband?"
"Nope. With him, it was sex, sex, sex, all of the time. We had sex the first night we met. It was fun at first, but then I think we both realized after a few years that you can’t build a relationship on sex. There needs to be trust, friendship, compatibility. We didn’t have any of that. We didn’t have the same fine-tuned connection that Alec and I seem to have. I’ve probably only spent a total of ten hours with the guy, and in all my life, I’ve never felt more connected to someone."
Mary sat there across from me, sipping water and looking out of the window. She was quiet for a few more minutes.
"He’s going to want you to stay. You’ve opened Pandora’s box," she added.
"I know. I’ll deal with it when it comes." I finished my beer. I decided to ask Mary something that had been on my mind all morning. "How did you decide to stay? You only knew Henry for four days, right? What made you stay?"
"I don’t know. I had nothing holding me back, I guess. I finished university online, and my parents and friends were fully supportive. I think I just knew. I knew Henry was the one. Even though he was legally still married, and even though we didn’t have our first date until a couple of months after we met, I knew it was him. Nothing else mattered."
"I guess my life is a little bit more complicated than that.
"It doesn’t have to be." She smiled at me, and took my hand in hers. "Life is what you make of it. Why should you settle for anything less than happiness?"
I sat there with her, holding her hand and taking in the scenery from the window. The pub overlooked the ocean, and it was astoundingly beautiful. I didn’t want to leave. I knew deep down that I belonged here. But I also knew that I had responsibilities back in L.A. I had to take care of everything before I could come back. And I would. I vowed to come back.
"Well, you probably want a ride back, right? Unless you were planning on running another ten miles?"
I laughed and we headed out. She told Henry’s parents, who were playing cards in the corner, that she was headed out for a few minutes. On the car ride home, we chatted about Henry and how he and Mary had met. I was still in shock that he had been married. I supposed crazier things had happened. When she dropped me off, I hurried inside to shower. I felt disgusting from the sweat, sand, and salty crisps. I probably smelled like sweat, dirt, and beer. Ick.
I took a quick shower and dried my hair. I pulled on the striped summer dress and wedges, throwing my hair up in a messy Heidi braid. I needed to eat some real food or I was going to pass out. I chugged a glass of water and grabbed my keys, locking the door behind me. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed some leftover stew, and heated it up on the stove. I made myself a small cup of coffee as well. As I stood there, sipping coffee, I realized I hadn’t seen Alec all day. I missed him. It was a startling feeling. With Harry, I never really missed him, even when we were long distance. It just never felt like I should miss him. I always chalked it up to being a strong, independent woman, but I now realized it was because I was probably never truly in love with him. It wasn't the same maddening, passionate, consuming feeling that I felt with Alec. I was just about to sit down and begin reading a new book in the common room when Helen came shuffling over to me, looking frantic.
"Charlotte, I’ve been looking for you all afternoon! Where’ve you been?"
"Sorry, I was on a run, and then I stopped by the pub to see Mary. Everything OK?"
"Yes, but this man keeps calling our telephone, asking for you." My heart sank. Harry. "He said his name is Allen. He’s an attorney."
"Oh. Did you get his number?"
"Yes, here, follow me," she said, leading me back to the check-in desk.
I felt a heavy, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had known I would only be able to run away for so long before things caught up with me here. Helen handed me a slip of paper, gave me a small hug, and walked away. I looked down. It was a 310 number. Los Angeles county. I took a few deep breaths and dialed the international operator, giving her the number. It rang twice before a man with a deep voice picked up. I checked my watch. It would be just before 9 a.m. in Los Angeles right now.
"Allen Healding speaking."
"Uh, hi, this is Charlotte Bloom. You left a message for me earlier," I explained, hoping he would remember. I had no idea what was in store for me.
"Ah, yes, Mrs. Bloom. Lovely to finally chat with you."
"Is everything OK?"
"Well, yes and no. I suggest you meet with me on Monday to discuss your pending divorce. We may be able to sort everything out in one day. There weren’t any children, and the assets can be divided evenly, which is what Mr. Bloom suggested we do. It’s a piece of cake, but we do have a lot to discuss face to face. My client seeks divorce immediately, and in order for me to process everything, I need to speak with both of you in person."
"Monday? That’s in two days. I’m currently in the United Kingdom."
"Well, I suggest you fly out at your earliest convenience."
"OK. I’ll try and work something out."
"See you Monday, Mrs. Bloom. I look forward to meeting you."
And with that, he hung up. I was fuming. I had known this time would come. I had anticipated it every day, gauging Harry’s tone in his emails. I needed to speak with Harry. I had thought he understood my situation. I dialed the operator, and then Harry’s cell number.
"Hello?"
"Why did you have Mr. Healding call me here? I told you, I’m coming back in September. I still need more time."
"Charlotte… you’ve been gone for almost two months! Things need to be dealt with! You can’t keep acting like a child, and running away from a bad situation. I know you’re having a ‘jolly good’ time in Wales, but you need to come home. We need to talk. Be a big girl and come home."
I didn’t have a rebuttal. He was right. I knew he was. It had to be dealt with. Sure, he was being a bit rude about the whole thing, but deep down, I felt the same way. How long could I go on pretending that this was my life? How long could I play the bed and breakfast employee, traipsing around with my new friend, Mary, and my new boy-toy, Alec? What was I expecting? I’d come here to find my happiness again, and I had found it. I was happier than ever. I'd never stopped smiling, not once, until Mr. Healding’s call. But… shit had to be dealt with. As an adult, I realized that. I needed to be an adult. I needed to go home.
"I’m just so happy here."
"It’s not real life, Charlotte. It’s not real life."
His words resonated with me. It’s not real life. I thought of our friends and family, who had all emailed me at one point or another asking when I was coming home. I imagined them chuckling to one another when they talked about me, saying I was a crazy woman who had run off to Wales because I was having a mental breakdown. It seemed crazy. I knew that. It was irresponsible, and neglectful of my life in L.A., and yet… I’d been so happy. It had to come to an end. Everything good ends, I thought, pessimistically.
The PR for the Parc was pretty much done. I’d set Helen and George up with a basic understanding of everything to do with the computer and social media. My heart sank as I realized I would have to tell them I was leaving. No, that I had to leave, to deal with everything back home. I could help them remotely if need be. I had to tell Katie, Henry, and Mary. A sob escaped my lips as I thought of having to tell Mary that I was leaving. I shook with grief as I thought of Alec. H
e had known I would have to leave eventually… right? He had to have known. But the thought of telling him that I had to leave tomorrow, or even tonight… that thought killed me. I couldn’t deal with having that conversation. It would be the hardest conversation of them all.
"Charlotte… I’m sorry. But please, come home now."
"I’ll be home tomorrow," I cried between sobs, hanging up.
I sat the receiver back in its port. I rocked back and forth, trembling with grief. Tears poured out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I cried into my hands, as quietly as possible. I knew this time had to come, but it was too soon. I couldn’t leave now. But if I didn’t leave, this would turn into something bigger and uglier. I understood where Harry was coming from. He wanted this behind him. He wanted to move on. I did too. I wanted nothing more. And yet the thought of leaving shook me to my very core. I had my happiness here. I was a different person here. What would happen if I went home?
I composed myself, sat up, and wiped my face off with a tissue. I had to do this. It was either now or in September. I would have to face reality eventually. I slowly turned to the computer. I reluctantly logged onto the KLM airlines website and searched for flights back to Los Angeles. I felt like I was cheating on Helen and George by leaving. I looked around. Helen was nowhere to be seen, and I was pretty sure Alec was out riding horses. Now was the best time to do this. A lump formed in my throat when I realized only two flights were leaving to Los Angeles in the next twenty-four hours. There was one later that night, at 10 p.m., and one the next day at noon. The latter one got in on Sunday evening, L.A. time. I chose that one, paid, and logged out immediately. It was set in stone. I was leaving in less than twenty-four hours. I had a lot to do.
First, I had to pack. I walked to my room and went inside. Everything seemed different now. This had all been temporary. The room was a hotel room. I had barely six outfits to my name. I’d run out of travel toiletries weeks ago, and I was using the ones provided by the Parc. I didn’t fit in here. I didn’t have a place anymore. Helen and George didn’t need me anymore. I didn’t have a real home here, or a real job, when I thought about it. It made sense for me to be moving on. The fairytale had to end sometime.
The Foretelling (Charlotte Bloom #1) Page 19
