We sat there for a minute, panting, trying to digest everything. He pulled out of me, and we lay next to each other for a few minutes, silent. I think we were both in shock. My breathing slowed.
"I don’t think I can ever leave after that," I whispered.
***
The next morning, the sun shining through Alec’s curtains woke me, and I sat up, shielding my eyes with my arm. I looked down and realized I was naked. Suddenly, I remembered – Alec and I had made love. He was asleep next to me, curled up like a child. For such a hulking man, he was a peaceful sleeper. I felt so incredibly rested. My body felt beautiful in that moment. I knew I probably had mascara-stained eyes and lipstick all over my mouth, and I didn’t even want to think about what my hair looked like. Alec had made love to me; he had chosen me. This handsome, passionate, kind man was in love with me. Even when he knew my past, he accepted me for me.
I looked down at him and my heart filled with so much unexpected love. I wanted to wake up next to him for the rest of my days. I remembered slowly that I’d booked a flight out today. I glanced at the clock. 8:30 a.m. I had ninety minutes before I had to leave for the airport.
"Morning, beautiful," Alec mumbled, rolling over and grabbing me. He spooned me, pulling me as close as he could to himself. "Last night was amazing," he whispered in my ear. I could barely think straight.
"I know. I’ve never… you were the first ever to…" I broke off. How could I tell him that I’d had my first orgasm with him? I wasn’t a virgin by any means when I first made love to Harry. I’d had my share of one-night stands in college as well as a high school boyfriend to whom I lost my virginity. I thought Harry was the best lover up until this point. It was quick and efficient with him; we never did foreplay. There was no passion, and most times, he didn’t care if I climaxed. I never did, and he never tried. I’d forgotten how much I missed foreplay.
"What, love?"
"I’d never had an orgasm before last night," I blurted.
"Really? Your ex-husband must be crazy, then. I vow to give you as many orgasms as possible," he said, and I made him promise at least three a day. "We better get started on today," he growled, as he turned me over and began to kiss me heatedly.
If it was possible, the morning after felt even better than the night before. This time, the anticipation of the "first time" was gone, and we knew exactly what the other wanted and needed. I didn’t even have to think. It was pure instinct with Alec. It was as if we were made for each other. Our bodies molded perfectly together, and his natural stamina was an exact match for mine. We climaxed at almost the exact same time, again. I was sure I was way too loud this time, but I didn’t care. We rolled off of each other and laughed, because we both knew this was probably the best sex we’d ever have.
"Please stay," Alec pleaded, after I came back to bed from freshening up. He lay there, completely naked, and I almost conceded at the sight of his naked body.
"I want nothing more than to stay here with you," I replied. "If only life were that easy."
"It is that easy. You decide to stay, and then you do stay. Simple as that."
I wanted to agree with him. But the longer I stayed in Wales, the longer I was putting off my life in L.A. That felt like a lifetime ago, but I couldn’t ignore my mortgage, my bills, my divorce… I had to face those things.
"It’s more complicated than that," I cooed, kissing him softly on the lips.
I dressed slowly, watching him as he watched me. He looked at me in a way I’d never seen in anyone else before, not even Harry.
"What’s that look?" I said softly, sitting next to him, fully-clothed now.
"I love you, Charlotte Bloom."
"I love you, Alec Baxter."
"Don’t go."
"I have to. I have to go. I’ll be back."
"No, you won’t," he said, nonchalantly, leaning back into his bed with his arms behind his head. The sight of his bed head, naked chest, and tussled sheets sent me wild with longing.
"Of course I will."
"You had a life before this, Charlotte. You’ll fall right back into it. This was just a blip on the radar. You think you’ll come back, but you won’t." He looked at me matter-of-factly.
"That’s not true," I murmured, kissing him softly on the lips. "I’ll be back."
"I can’t watch you get into that cab. It’ll kill me." He sat up and looked at me with such sadness and such earnestness that it shook me. "You are the love of my life, Charlotte Bloom."
I bent down and kissed him, slowly and sweetly. How was I possibly going to leave? After everything that had happened… how could I leave Alec behind? I had to be strong. I had to be a grownup and deal with my responsibilities. I would be back. I would come back for him. I loved him.
I waved goodbye as I left his room, trying not to cry as I quietly walked to my room to gather up my things. I took a quick shower, dried my hair, and put on the same outfit that I had worn to come here: leggings, a t-shirt, and my ballet flats. I grabbed my purse, which had pretty much gone unused the entire time. I fished around looking for my passport, and found it hiding in the inside pocket, along with my wedding ring. Seeing it there – small, flecked diamonds on a thin, gold band – made me realize I was making the right decision. I had to deal with everything in L.A. before my life here could begin again.
I gave my room one last glance over. I toted my suitcase to the check-in desk, where Helen hugged me for a good five minutes. Katie motioned for me to come into the dining room, where she’d prepared a gourmet, full-course English breakfast. I ate it quickly, wanting time to say my proper goodbyes to everyone. As I finished and went back out into the common room, Mary and Henry came to say goodbye as well. George was the last person I hugged, and he whispered in my ear that Tommy had arrived. My time had come. I was leaving.
I saw Alec meander down the hallway, his shirt unbuttoned, wearing his trousers from last night. He still had bed head. I watched him as he waved, and then he touched his fingers to his lips, blowing me a kiss. He mouthed, "I love you". My eyes filled with tears as Tommy put my suitcase in the trunk. I waved at everyone one last time, looking at each of them. Mary was in Henry’s arms, crying. Henry was smiling and waving at me, and Helen and George were both holding on to the door frame, waving. Katie had her arm around Helen. Alec walked up and came behind George. His faced remained stoic, yet sad. I smiled at him one last time, got into the back of the taxi, and soon I was off to the airport.
I made a promise to myself that I would come back. I would be without Alec now. He would no longer be three doors down from me. I would no longer be able to watch him in the stables in the morning as I sipped my coffee. My whole body ached at that notion. I would have to go back to L.A., and though I was glad that I would be seeing Amara and putting my marriage to Harry behind me, I was sad to see this life go. It had been the best six weeks of my life. How would life in L.A. compare?
A crazy thought entered my mind. What if I don't go back? Here I was, hemming and hawing over having to leave, but as Mary had said at the pub yesterday, life is what you make of it. Anna’s words suddenly popped into my head: You have to find your swims when all you can see is the roads. I didn’t have to go back. I could get divorced remotely. I was sure that was possible, somehow. It didn’t matter anyways. None of that really mattered where there was love. I could stay here, with my six outfits, and start a life with Alec. I didn’t have to go back home. I didn’t have to leave.
"Ironic that I was the one to pick you up, and here I am, a month and a half later, dropping you back off," Tommy mused, chuckling.
"You know… I was so busy saying thank you to Helen and George all morning, when in reality, it’s you who brought me here," I said nostalgically. "If it weren’t for you seeing me at the airport, and taking me here… who knows where I would’ve been right now."
"Aw, darling, that’s sweet to say."
"Thank you, Tommy."
We rode in silence down the main road, the road
I was so accustomed to now. I knew each curve, where each trailhead lead, and how to get into Swansea city center. I could have a life here. If I wanted, I could have Tommy turn this cab around and I could stay. I felt like I just got here, and now I was leaving. I could deal with leaving Wales, and even the friends I'd made here. We could call each other, visit each other, and life would go on. But Alec… how would I handle leaving Alec, when our story had just started? I was ending everything before we even had a chance to begin. Everyone always says to follow your heart. Maybe it was time to follow mine.
Someone once told me to let go if the relationship wasn't bringing you what you want and need. Could I go on without Alec? Or was it something I unquestionably wanted and deserved? Why should I settle for anything less than happiness? Anna had taught me that. Wasn't life all about finding someone who will love, care and support you, someone who will listen and give you insightful advice, someone who wants the same things, someone you can trust and will be loyal to you, someone who believes so strongly in you and your capabilities? Just someone who makes you feel like you’re someone. That was Alec. He was all of that and more.
"I don’t mean to butt in to your business, however, I have to ask. Is this what you really want? You look miserable. Why are you running away?"
"I have to go home now," I said, glumly.
"Honey, this is your home. You are home. Don’t you realize that? ‘Where we love is home: home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.’ That’s a poem from Oliver Wendell Holmes. Is this what you really want? I can turn this car around. Just say when."
When.
THE END
EXCERPT FROM THE REDEMPTION, THE SEQUEL TO THE FORTELLING
COMING APRIL 15, 2015!
Available for pre-order on Amazon now!
***
I threw open the door and Charlie stood there, tall, and frankly, extremely good-looking. My heart sank a little bit because, as I looked him over for a second, I realized Amara was right. He was just my type. He had light brown hair and piercing, blue eyes. His face was extremely chiseled, and I could see the bulge of biceps through his tight, black turtleneck sweater. He wore distressed designer jeans, and brown dress boots. He was carrying a bouquet of roses.
"Charlotte? I’m Charlie," he reached out and shook my hand lightly. He had soft, warm hands.
"Hi, nice to meet you," I said, swinging my hair from one side to the other casually. "Thank you for the flowers," I said, gesturing to the red roses. I hated red roses, but I couldn’t fault him for that. He didn’t know. "Let me just stick them in some water really quick," I continued, walking back into my apartment.
I quickly grabbed a vase, ran some water into it, and set the flowers in it. I’d deal with the rest later. Charlie was still standing in the doorway when I returned. I instantly regretted not tidying. I could see his eyes sweep across the entire apartment; it wasn’t very big, and it was all one room, except for the kitchen and bathroom. I’d left a pile of clothes at the foot of my bed, and there were a couple of old food bowls on the coffee table. My bed was unmade. I silently vowed to tidy up before the next date – if there was a next date.
"Sorry about the mess," I apologetically stated, before closing the door behind me.
"Please. You should see my place," he said casually, grinning from ear to ear. My heart melted a tiny bit as he smiled, and he placed a hand on my lower back as we climbed down the stairs of my apartment building. I tried not to fall on my face.
"So, you’re an actor," I stated, rather than asking.
"Yep. And you’re working for Sam, right?"
"Temporarily. I'm in PR, but it’s been a bit of a struggle to find a good PR job that doesn’t feel like you’re selling your soul to the devil, you know?"
"I get it. I just did a McDonald’s commercial with cartoon dancing chickens."
I stifled a laugh as we walked over to his car; a small sports car.
"I do hope to be able to see that commercial one day," I said playfully.
"Never." He smiled ruefully and patted my thigh as we drove away.
"So… we’re both in the divorce club, eh?" I didn’t know how to bring it up without asking outright.
"Looks like it. Who would’ve thought?"
"Not me. But it’s for the better. No hard feelings."
"Same. She just wasn’t the one."
"Yeah."
The one. It was such a weird concept to me, and yet, it made perfect sense. For so many years, I thought Harry was the one. I’d invested myself in a future with Harry, and it all went to shit so quickly. For a second, I thought Alec might’ve been the one, but how could he have been the one? How could it possibly have worked out? If Alec and I were meant to be together, he would be here, with me, or I would be there, with him; neither of which were going to happen anytime soon.
Charlie and I sat in silence for a while as he got on to the freeway and drove towards downtown. He was taking me to Bottega Louie, one of my favorite restaurants in Los Angeles. Their macaroons were to die for, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t go just for the desert. He pushed a button and all of a sudden, Bing Crosby Christmas came on. I loved this album. I sat there silently swaying as Charlie looked over at me.
"Amara said you were pretty, but… excuse my language… Damn. You’re smoking hot."
I blushed, and smiled back.
"You’re not so bad yourself."
"That dress…" he sucked in some air quickly, and moved his eyes back to the road.
"Thanks. It’s not too slutty, is it?" I was asking more as a friend. I wasn’t trying to be cute. But he wasn’t going the friend route.
"I like slutty."
I stayed silent. Things had been going so well. I liked him. But then he had to go and say that. Also, it made me uncomfortable that he was scanning my body up and down as he drove. Get ahold of yourself, Charlie. Ugh.
"So… how do you know Amara?" I had to change the subject somehow. His eyes were still wandering. I crossed my arms tightly against my body.
"She didn’t tell you?"
"No," I lied. I knew they met on set.
"We met on set."
"Oh." This date was turning into a disaster.
Another couple of minutes passed silently before Charlie got off the freeway, exiting a little too fast for comfort. I gripped the seat as he turned sharply towards a parking structure across the street from the restaurant.
"Sorry. I like to go fast… in all aspects of my life," he grinned devilishly.
Did Amara know what a tool Charlie was? She’d described him as nice. He was really nice… for the first ten minutes. Perhaps he was nervous. That would be an acceptable explanation. I just smiled and looked ahead, not making eye contact with Charlie, even though I could feel his eyes all over me. He parked quickly and I waited for a second to see if he would open my door. He didn’t.
I slowly got out of the passenger side, adjusting my dress. I now regretted wearing such a tight dress. I could still feel Charlie’s eyes on me as we walked up the stairs to the street. If it had been Alec looking at me that way, I would’ve melted clear into a puddle of goo on the sidewalk. With Charlie, it felt invasive and rude. I wondered what the difference was. Charlie was just as good looking as Alec.
Charlie and I made small talk as we crossed the street and as we waited for a table. I heard all about his ex-wife, the children she wanted to have but he didn’t, and the alimony payments he would never have to make.
"Thank god," he exclaimed, pumping his fists in victory. "I sure dodged a bullet."
"Will you excuse me? I have to use the restroom."
Before he could respond, I walked quickly towards the bathroom, fuming. Amara would not have set me up with such a jerk if she’d known. I tucked into the smallest stall, pulled the toilet seat down, and sat to call Amara. She picked up on the first ring.
"Aren’t you supposed to be out with Charlie?"
"He’s awful," I hissed, making sure to stay as quiet
as possible.
"What? Oh no! He seemed so nice! Char, I’m so sorry. You never know with actors. I assumed that since he was married before, that he might actually be a nice one. It’s either/or with actors. I guess there’s a reason he’s divorced."
"Mar, how do I get out of this? There’s no way I can stand him for another two hours," I moaned.
"Feign illness?"
"Too cliché."
"Be honest?"
"No. He’s the kind of guy that would go off on me and embarrass me in front of the entire restaurant."
"Ummmm…"
I sat on the phone in silence.
"Whatever. This is what I get anyways. Maybe it’ll help me get over Alec."
"Yeah. Well, call me anytime. I’m just home alone, waiting for Sam to get home. Text me some gold," she requested. I promised to send her all of his terrible one-liners.
"He said he liked slutty," I explained, right before we hung up.
"Ugh. Terrible."
We hung up and I braced myself.
Here goes nothing.
***
I sat through most of dinner with the same fake, plastered-on smile, pretending to laugh at the outrageous things he was saying. I’d hoped tonight would go well, if for nothing else other than to have a buffer between Alec and I. But sadly, this guy was just a jerk. We briefly talked about work, dating, and the single life, skimming the surface on all subjects. I was quiet, but playing it smooth, to try and get us out as quickly as possible. Maybe if he thought he had a chance with me, he’d rush through dinner. Luckily, he was dumber than he seemed, because after some pseudo flirting, we were off shortly after my second hazelnut macaroon.
"Tonight was fun," he said, moving his hand up my thigh. I ground my teeth together and forced myself not to punch him hard in his groin. We were parked outside of my apartment building.
The Foretelling (Charlotte Bloom #1) Page 21
