by Liz Isaacson
The line clicked, and then her mother asked, “Bree?”
Bree started crying—again—and she couldn’t get any words out. Her throat felt so tight, and her regret so deep. She was drowning, and she sucked at the air, trying to find a way to breathe with the beautiful echo of her mom’s voice in her head.
She hadn’t heard that voice for so long, and it seemed to be able to heal so much.
“Bree, baby,” her mom said, her voice pinched too. “Are you there?”
Bree nodded, though her mom couldn’t see her. How could she speak without giving away how she felt? She couldn’t, and she realized she didn’t need to hide how she was feeling. “Mom.”
Just saying that word broke something inside her, and she started a mental prayer. I’m sorry, Lord. I’m so sorry. How do I fix this? What do I do?
It seemed like the years of silence from the Lord had come to an end, and her mind raced now with things she should say. Things she needed to do.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Bree said. “I’m so sorry for everything. I need to come home.” She didn’t even know where the words had come from. She hadn’t ever seriously considered returning to Vermont. Ever. She’d left and never looked back, and now that she’d witnessed someone doing that to her, she knew how deeply that action cut. How badly it stung.
“You can come anytime,” her mom said, obviously weeping. “Anytime, Bree.”
“I have two jobs,” Bree said. “Because I make so many mistakes, and I’m so tired, Mom, and I can’t pay for a ticket to get there.” Her emotions surged, and she let the hot tears burn in her eyes until they fell. She sniffled and sobbed, everything in her life crashing down around her.
“We’ll pay for it,” her mom said. “Tell us when, Bree.”
She pulled back on her fear, her sorrow, her guilt. “I need to talk to my bosses. Can I call you after I do that?”
“Of course, yes.”
Bree knew she didn’t deserve her parents’ forgiveness, and she’d never truly felt like she deserved to be forgiven by God either. She’d accepted that. It would be hard—beyond hard—to walk into the house where she and Bronson had grown up, face her parents, and admit her failures.
But Bree also knew she couldn’t take another step forward in her life until she did all of those things. She’d reached a point where she could go no further until she dealt with her past. And she desperately wanted to take the next step with Wes, and she couldn’t.
“Okay, I’ll call you as soon as I know. It might be Monday, because I work in an office, and I don’t want to bother my boss on the weekend.”
“Bree, are you okay?”
“Physically,” Bree said. “But Mom, I met a man, and he’s just—wonderful.” She blew out her breath. “And perfect, and I haven’t been able to tell him about anything that happened in Vermont, and I lost him.” Her tears started trickling down her face again. She wiped them again and pressed on her sinuses, everything in her head feeling so dang hot.
“And I miss you and Dad so much,” Bree said. “I hate being alone, and only having myself to rely on. I need you. I love you.”
“We love you too, Bree. Please come home as soon as you can.”
“Is Dad there?”
“He’s out with a new horse,” her mom said, her voice growing in strength. “He’ll be thrilled you called. You want me to go get him?”
“No, Mom, it’s okay.” Bree knew how her father acted when he got a new horse.
“He’ll come in, Bree. He misses you so much.” Her voice broke again, and Bree could not shoulder the fact that she’d hurt her parents for so long.
“Okay,” Bree said. “Maybe you could go get him and call me back. Or I’ll call back in fifteen minutes or something.”
“I’ll go get him and call you back.”
After ending the call, Bree sat on the edge of her bed and cried. She’d done so much of that in the past ten days, she hardly had anything left to give. At the same time, she hadn’t truly been this humbled in all the time since she’d left Vermont, and she’d needed to hit the very bottom of her life before she’d feel like she’d have to make that phone call.
“Did You put Wes in my life to send me as far down as I could go?” she asked, lifting her eyes to the ceiling. She imagined she could see through the plaster and roofing tiles to the sky above, then all the way to the heavens. “Well, it worked if You did.”
She shook her head, feeling God’s powerful presence in her life so strongly. She wasn’t living with numbness anymore. She could feel everything, and it was raw, and painful, and never-ending.
Her phone rang, and Bree flinched at the shrill sound. Then she picked it up and said, “Mom. Dad?”
“I’m right here, honey,” her father said, his voice so deep and so warm, and exactly the thing that could heal everything that had broken inside Bree all those years ago.
“Get me a ticket for Monday morning,” she said, deciding on the spot. “If you can.”
“Did you talk to your bosses already?” Mom asked.
“No,” Bree said. “But this is a family emergency, and they’ll have to understand.”
“I love you, honey,” her dad said. “I’ll forward everything to your email. It’s the same one you’ve had for a while now, right?”
“Yes,” Bree said. “Thank you, Dad. I’m so sorry. But thank you.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” her father said.
But she did, because he’d sent her emails over the years that Bree had never responded to. She’d done so much wrong, and it felt impossible to set it all right. But she sure was going to try, because she needed her soul to be cleansed. She wanted to feel closer to God. She needed her parents in her life.
And then, maybe if she could fix all that was wrong within her, she could fix her relationship with Wes.
“Thanks, Elise.” Bree sat in Elise’s compact SUV for a moment before reaching for the door handle. It had been a whirlwind past couple of days, while she washed everything she owned, called Marc and Graham multiple times, got email confirmations of her plane tickets, and talked to her parents a few more times too.
“Sure thing,” Elise said. Only she wouldn’t be annoyed by having to drive Bree an hour to the airport in Jackson first thing in the morning on a Monday. She wore a smile on her perfectly pink lips, a feat Bree knew she achieved from a particular lip gloss that never ran out.
“Good luck, Bree.” She got out of the vehicle too and came around the back to help Bree with her bag. She took Bree into a hug and held her tight. “This is a good thing, Bree.”
“I’m so scared.”
“I know you are.” Elise clung to her. “I am too, because I don’t like sleeping in the cabin by myself.”
Bree half-laughed and half-sobbed. She stepped back from her best friend and wiped her eyes. She didn’t want to go into the airport a weeping mess. “Colton already said you could go stay with him and Annie. She drives up to the lodge every day too.”
“I know,” Elise said, glancing toward a truck that pulled up to the curb behind her. “I’m just trying to decide if I should go or not.”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“Oh, he asks me about Gray all the time.” Elise sighed and put a smile on her face that almost looked real. Bree knew exactly how that felt, because she’d been doing it for far too long.
“Well, one piece of advice: don’t let him set you up with his brother,” Bree said. “You’ll fall for him, and then who knows what will happen.” She smiled at Elise, who just shook her head as she chuckled.
Bree hugged her again and then drew in a breath. She faced the airport and walked inside, her mind racing as fast as her nerves. But she could do this. She had to do this.
It was time to do this.
Hours later, she walked off the plane, her carryon rolling along behind her. She’d checked a bag too, and the airport in Montpelier wasn’t that big. It seemed like she’d walked down one hall and then a short flight
of steps, and she was past security and into the baggage claim area already.
“Bree,” her father said, and Bree hadn’t even seen him. She turned to the left, her heart bobbing against the back of her tongue.
“Dad?”
He stepped out from behind another couple waiting for their loved one, and Bree dropped everything in her hands. She didn’t care who saw her crying now, and she barely had time to open her arms to embrace her father before he swept her into his strong arms and crushed her to his chest.
“Oh, my Bree,” he said, and Bree had never felt so loved. The hug didn’t last nearly long enough, and then her father said, “Mom’s here. She’s right here, Julie.”
Her mother stepped between them and hugged Bree with everything she had too, and Bree wondered why in the world she’d stayed away for so long. Her parents clearly didn’t hate her. They didn’t blame her. They’d told her all of that for so long, and she hadn’t believed them.
Because she hated herself. She blamed herself.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered over and over, hoping they could feel how much she loved them too. But Wes had taught her something—she needed to tell the people she loved that she did indeed love them.
“I love you, Mom,” she said, the words barely making it out of her mouth.
Her mom stepped back and cradled Bree’s face in both hands. She cried openly too and said, “I love you, too, dear.”
“I love you, Dad,” Bree said, and the three of them formed a huddle-hug, with Bree’s head between both of theirs. They breathed together, right there in the airport, as if no one else was around.
Bree couldn’t adequately describe how she felt, only that she knew without any doubt that she’d done the right thing by calling her mom and coming home. Not only could she feel their love, which she desperately needed, she basked in the glow and warmth of the love of the Lord too.
“Ma’am?” someone asked, and Bree turned toward the airport worker. “Is this your bag?”
“Yes.” Bree wiped her eyes and stepped away from her parents. “Sorry.” She picked up her purse and took the water bottle from the woman in uniform. She reached for the handle of her carryon and gave her a smile. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She glanced at Bree’s parents. “Welcome to Vermont.”
A new kind of excitement entered Bree’s awareness, and she allowed a smile to cross her face. She turned back to her parents, a fierce love for them and how they’d stood by one another all these years moving through her.
“What did you make for dessert?” Bree asked her mother. She may not have spoken to her much in the past, but she knew some things about her mother would never die. And that included her dedication to having a delectable dessert at the conclusion of every evening meal.
“Apple pie,” she said without missing a beat. “Our trees produced beautifully this year.”
“With maple cream?” Bree asked, her mouth already watering.
Bree’s mother put her arm around Bree’s waist as they fell into step. “You may have been gone awhile, Bree, but you still know how to eat apple pie.”
Bree grinned and looked toward the bright sunshine streaming through the glass doors in front of her. She finally felt like the future held something amazing and wonderful and shiny in it…for her.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“And now I’m here.” Wes pressed the power button on the side of his phone, and the television in front of him, Hunter, and Gray went black. He’d just finished an hour-long travelogue of where he’d been for the past six weeks, and he could admit he had some impressive pictures.
He even looked happy in some of them, especially the ones with him and the massive fish he’d caught during his deep-sea fishing expedition off the Alaskan coast. He’d loved Alaska with every fiber of his being.
It wasn’t hugely populated, for one. He enjoyed the small-town feel of the communities there, though he could do with more than a few hours of light—and he hadn’t even been there during the height of winter.
“What was your favorite thing?” Gray asked.
“Oh, it’s impossible to pick,” Wes said. “Mount Saint Helens was really fun. The lakes in Idaho were beautiful. I even liked the cruise ship up to Alaska.”
“And that’s saying something for a man who washes his hands if he’s anywhere near other people.” Gray grinned at him, and Wes had healed enough to smile back, though his brother was poking fun at him.
“I even ate at the buffets.”
“Hoh-boy,” Gray said, chortling. “I barely know who you are anymore.”
Wes didn’t know who he was anymore either. Somewhere between Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon, Washington, Alaska, California, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, and New Mexico, he’d lost himself.
He knew exactly where he’d left the best version of himself. The man he wanted to be, with the life that man wanted to live.
The shadow or ghost or spirit of that man stood on Bree’s porch, desperate for her to apologize and then tell him everything she’d refused to tell him before.
But she hadn’t done that, and while Wes’s world had shattered that day, he’d been picking up one piece every day and fitting it back inside himself. Some of the edges were really sharp though, and sometimes he had to take pieces out. Examine them. And find a new spot for them.
The whole ordeal had left him weak in a lot of ways, and Wes hated feeling weak.
“Uncle Wes?” Hunter asked, and Wes blinked back to the living room in Gray’s comfortable house. He didn’t live downtown in an apartment or penthouse the way Wes and Colton had, but out in a suburb, with other families and a good elementary school for his son.
He did live back in the corner of a subdivision, with a broad, long driveway back to his house that looked a lot smaller than it actually was. His backyard encompassed the whole corner, and he had a dozen fruit trees he cultivated in his spare time.
As if Gray had any of that.
But he did love the trees, and Wes had gone with him through the yard as he explained how he’d gotten them ready for winter.
“Yeah, bud,” Wes asked his nephew.
“Are you gonna come to Coral Canyon for Christmas with us?”
Wes’s eyebrows shot up, and he looked from Hunter to Gray. “You’re going to Coral Canyon?”
“Colton can be very convincing,” Gray said. “And I’m determined to be finished at HMC before the holidays.”
Wes was dying to know how Gray felt about having only a few weeks left at the job he’d held for twenty years, but he wouldn’t ask in front of Hunter. Gray wouldn’t answer if he did.
“Grams is going?”
“Grams is going to stay with Uncle Roger.”
“Holy cow,” Wes said, deeply surprised. “And Laura and Jill and Kent?”
“I don’t know all the details,” Gray said coolly. “What I know is Mom called me last week and asked if I could stand driving with her and Dad to Wyoming, because they didn’t want to drive themselves. I said yes. Then I called Colton to find out what the devil was going on.”
“Oh, this has Colton written all over it,” Wes said darkly.
“He didn’t even tell you yet.”
“That’s because he thinks I’m still on the road.” Wes looked away, up to the mantel where Gray had a picture of him and Hunter. They looked infused with joy, their smiles wide and their eyes crinkled with laugh lines as water sprayed between them.
Wes wondered what it would feel like to be a father. Or even to feel like he wasn’t one breath away from the end of his life. He hadn’t tried to text or call Bree, not even once. Problem was, he hadn’t heard from her either. Not even once.
Honestly, he’d expected to hear from her. The silence sliced into him every day, ever hour, every minute.
“We’re going on the twentieth,” Gray said. “Tentatively. Barring anything happening at HMC, and of course, the weather.”
Thirty days. Wes had no idea what condition his heart would be in by t
he time another month passed, and he supposed he could put on a brave face and cross the city limits of Coral Canyon. He could hunker down inside Colton’s house and refuse to go to town, to any restaurants, or anywhere near Whiskey Mountain Lodge. He could.
Everyone would understand, without any explanations needed.
“So will you come with us?” Hunter asked.
“Did Grandma put you up to asking me?” Wes asked. “Or Uncle Colton?”
Hunter exchanged a glance with his dad, and Wes got his answer. “Gray?”
“I knew you wouldn’t want to come, that’s all.” Gray got up and padded into the kitchen, where low lights shone down from beneath the cabinets. He put his coffee cup in the sink and busied himself with cleaning up the takeout containers and plates on the island where they’d eaten dinner.
“You should come,” Hunter said. “Everyone is going to be there, and Uncle Colt has a new dog.”
“Yeah,” Wes said, trying to keep the darkness out of his voice. “I’ve heard all about this new dog.” And he wasn’t really upset about the dog, or the fact that Colton wanted to have a holiday celebration at his house. In fact, he wanted to meet Colton’s dog, as Wes had a soft spot in his heart for canines too. And Colton had a cute one—some sort of designer breed with good fetching instincts. He’d trained the dog to jump off the dock as he threw a ball out into the water, and Sparky loved getting the ball and swimming back to shore to please Colton.
“I guess I’ll go,” Wes finally said, causing Hunter to look up from his tablet. “But you have to help me go shopping for everyone between now and then.”
“Shopping?” Hunter asked as Gray came back into the living room.
“Yeah, at like stores and stuff,” Wes said, grinning at the two of them. “Where do you think your dad got that amazing tablet?”
Gray didn’t normally let Hunter have devices, but he was getting close to twelve, and a lot of kids had phones and e-readers and more starting about now. Gray monitored what Hunter did on his tablet, and in the day Wes had been there, he’d seen it plugged in more than not. Hunter maybe spent thirty minutes on it each day, and he usually read a book and played a quick game until Gray told him to put it away.
