by John Harris
‘You wan’ ma’ lo’?’
Dancing now, not marching, my legs carried their alien body back up the sloping beach to the crowd, and the sand, no longer soft, was suddenly as easy to walk on as concrete. I didn’t recognise anybody but everyone must have known me, otherwise why were they all smiling in my direction? At first I thought that maybe I’d left my clothes behind, and I consciously looked down to check that I was still dressed. Then I felt my jaw aching because of the smile on my face; a grin so wide it made my cheeks sore.
A girl with hair like flowing gold flung her arms around my neck and at the same time jumped up, putting her legs around my waist. There was a cluck from someone very close behind, like right against my ear, but it was ignored by both of us. Golden hair kissed me and then bit my nose before letting her head loll back and swing its hair wildly from side to side. The muscles on the inside of her groin dug into my waist for support and she let go with her hands, falling upside down. With her legs still around me and her palms flat on the sand, I grabbed her thighs and turned her over and back onto her feet, as though we had meant to do that all along.
‘You wan’ ma’ lo’, ni’ guy?’ came the voice behind me again. An arm tried to encircle my waist, the hand grabbing at my crotch, but I was already moving towards the dark shadow that had surrounded the bright trunk of a tree.
Something was happening beneath one of the palm trees, though nobody except me was apparently paying any attention. The dog I’d seen earlier, or maybe another one, was wildly circling the tree. It reminded me of swingball, ‘The game for one or two players’, only this tennis ball was capable of going around with no players, and it barked. My head rotated with the barking tennis ball. Around, around, around the dog went.
Gentle fingers went between my legs from behind and came up under my shorts to support my balls. ‘I lo’ you, man. Wan’ ma’ lo’ to you, man.’ The hand couldn’t keep its grip and slipped free, unable to find the same rhythm that my legs moved to; a rhythm that was partly dance and partly walking again. I moved near to the dark shadow that was moving up a luminous corkscrew.
A band of black with four uneven corners that moved upwards, first the top two then the bottom two, shimmied up the palm tree. Bright pictures went dark and then reappeared again a moment later as the person climbed until he reached the top. My head was still but however hard I tried to focus on the black object I couldn’t. Greenery started to fall around me like heavy rain, leaves and sticks, some fluttering and whirly-birding, others crashing, still attached to their branches. Coconuts started to fall with such impact on the sand that the dog bolted for cover in the trees, and a few people looked up to see where the objects were coming from. ‘He’s off his fucking head,’ someone said. ‘Fucking crazy,’ another.
My hand was grabbed and I was yanked towards the trees, stumbling through the bushes. I was suddenly standing in darkness, the lights of the party appearing like a stained-glass window that had been shot through with vandals’ stones, barely penetrating the leaves of the vines.
‘Tha’s dangerous, man. Hit you head, can kill!’
My mouth opened but no words came, so I just looked down at the small Thai girl and tried to swallow what remaining spit I had. ‘Dry,’ I croaked.
‘You wan’ dri’?’ Her arms encircled my neck and I bent forward obligingly as her wet tongue was thrust into my parched mouth.
Pulling out of the kiss, I straightened and tried to move away. ‘I just want to get a drink.’
‘Tha’s dangerous, I tol’ you.’ Her arms went tighter around my neck. ‘No, you stay here wi’ me,’ she said kissing my lips. ‘You safe here.’
NINE
Sand. On my lips, in my mouth, hair, ears, nose, throat, up my arse and down my foreskin; the tiny glassy grains were everywhere. I hadn’t opened my eyes to see it but I knew by touch alone, by probing fingers and thumbs. Also my cheek hurt, and every movement or roll of my head was like sandpaper on my face. Slowly I opened one eye to see which direction my body was facing in, to see whether the sight would be blue or green.
It was green. The bright green of the jungle, lush against a blue early morning sky. The slender palm leaves wobbled and waved like individual fingers wagging a warning to me in the almost undetectable breeze that ruffled them awake. Each leaf shining in the sun like a green dagger on a slender spring, angling itself this way and that.
Ugh, my head. My aching head. I tried to open my other eye, the one that was half buried in sand, but couldn’t; it was stuck with sleep. Lying parallel to the jungle must mean that my back was facing the sea, so turning over just meant a half roll downhill. The slope of the beach accommodated, and, moving off my dead arm, first the blindingly blue sky faced me and then, with another quarter-turn, the shimmering blue sea. And Dave’s totally naked black figure.
Dave was standing knee-deep in the water with his bare buttocks facing the beach, a sparkling jet of golden liquid shooting out between his legs and forming a little hemisphere of foam on top of the water. The word that my mouth tried to form and then shout just came out as a loud groan, and Dave looked over his shoulder, both hands still on their task, and smiled.
‘Better out than in, my mom always used to say,’ he shouted, the sound of his loud American accent piercing the silent morning air. He started to whistle tunelessly while he pissed, the sound drifting out across the water.
I turned over and my other eye popped open, though it only saw in a pale shade of green for the first minute. Going from one eye to the other, checking their progress vision-wise, I blinked and took in the scene around me. As far as the beach was concerned there were only a few people left on it. Rick was asleep by the trees, using his hands as a pillow, while the young Thai girl he’d been with was just behind him with another girl, cutting holes in coconuts. She looked up and waved a knife at me. ‘You wan’ co’nu’?’ and then continued ramming the pointed blade into the shell, using another coconut as a hammer.
I stood and took a step forwards, tripping over the body that was lying beneath my feet. The Thai girl moaned, turned over in her sarong sheet and went on sleeping.
‘Here,’ the coconut girl said as I approached, ‘jus’ for you, Lor’ John.’
‘Thanks,’ I managed to say as the hairy shell was placed into my outstretched hands. I gulped down some milk and nodded at Rick, lying crumpled on the sand beside the girl. ‘Is he awake yet?’
She prodded Rick’s back with a painted toenail, not bothering to move from her log seat, and pronounced him ‘Not. He lazy rich bas’ard.’ She suddenly seemed to remember who she was talking to and, looking up wide-eyed and squirming nervously on her seat, she leaned forward and stroked his hair. ‘Bu’ I lo’ him, yeah. Rea’ lo’ you, man.’
A big splash took my attention away from her and I squinted at the bright sea. Dave was jumping clear of the water, lifting his legs as high as possible and bombing his own shadow. Every time he came up, smiling and wiping the water from his own astonished expression, the sun glinting on his polished skin, he immediately searched the water for his own reflection.
‘Do you have another one?’ I asked, turning back to the girl.
The other Thai girl who sat behind Ta handed me one and winked. ‘For you.’
‘No,’ I said, ‘it’s for him,’ and nodded at Dave.
‘You frien’ crazy, he climb tree when I as’ him ma’ lo’,’ she said, shaking her head dismissively. ‘Loo’ at him. Li’ a fu’in’ kid, playing in the wa’er. Jeez!’
I took the coconut and walked out into the sunshine, trying to remember which girl was which and what their names were.
Where were all the people that had been on the beach the night before? I had estimated there to be at least thirty people dancing, but now there were only us. Not only that but the generator and sound system had gone too. The boat that had ferried us here was gone, and where the tide had flowed and ebbed there were not even any marks where its V-shaped hull had cut a groove into the sand. At
the other end, where we had previously seen the long-tail tethered to a ring, only a length of rope hung limp and wet against the rock, like the tail of a buried dog.
Holding a coconut in each hand, I waded knee-deep into the water and scanned the mirror-like surface for any sign of Dave. He was gone. I moved further in up to my midriff before a long dark shadow moved through the water towards me, breast-stroking. Such an obvious attempt to scare me didn’t deserve to go unpunished so when he grabbed my ankle and tried to pull me down I didn’t move. Instead, I held the coconut just above the water in the place where I thought he was most likely to surface. When he eventually pushed hard off the seabed, his head came up against the waiting shell with such force that it sounded like the clop of a one-legged horse.
Dave immediately doubled over, holding his head in both hands. ‘Jesus fuckin’ Christ,’ he spluttered, half in pain and half in shock at the unexpected impact, ‘what d’you do that for?’
‘Accident,’ I giggled. ‘Here, thought you might like a split coconut.’
We stood up to our waists in the water for a moment, drinking our milk and admiring our feet through the crystal clear water. Dave said, ‘Got to hand it to Sir William. That man really has his shit together here.’
‘I thought I told you, he’s not... ’
‘Not Sir William, yeah yeah.’ He glanced around. ‘Anyway where is Sir William?’
I clucked my tongue. ‘Over there, by the trees. I’ll introduce you to him when he wakes up.’
Dave nodded and sucked on the coconut. ‘This is beautiful, man: fresh coconuts, clear water, beautiful Asian girls. And that party! Man, what a night, whoo-ee!’ He gulped the rest of the milk down and lobbed the shell with stunning accuracy onto the only rock that was still visible above the water’s surface. The shell splintered, with Dave providing the appropriate sound effect, ‘Bwooff!’
‘Good shot.’
‘Do better?’
I quickly finished mine and threw it far short of the target, Plop.
‘Huh! Man, you ain’t thrown a grenade before.’
‘More used to a cricket ball, I’m afraid,’ I said, and did a bowling motion.
‘Well la-di-da, Lord John, la-di-fuckin’-da!’ He slapped me on the back and dived under the water.
After a short swim to clear away the sleep from my eyes (going underwater and blinking a dozen times always does the trick), we walked back up the beach.
I put my arm around his shoulder. ‘Dave, there’s something I need to tell you about. These girls think that I’m a Lord and–’
He looked shocked. ‘You are, man.’
Suddenly what I was about to tell him seemed a bit pointless. What was the use of explaining to Dave that he should go along with the façade if he believed it anyway? I hesitated and then decided to relieve my conscience anyway.
‘Well,’ I said, ‘as I’ve already told you, I’m not a Lord, and Rick’s name is Rick, not Sir bloody William. But the thing is, Dave, these girls, and everyone else on Koh Pha-Ngan for all I know, think that he is some kind of royalty.’ I shrugged. ‘He’s got something going on here that I’m not really sure about.’
‘Listen, man,’ Dave turned to face me, ‘your friend showed me a good time last night, one of my best and believe me I’ve had a few. An’ if he wants to call himself Friar fuckin’ Tuck that’s all right with me. I ain’t got no complaints. That sucker knows how to party.’ He slapped my back again and we went over to where Rick was sitting, cigarette in one hand, coconut in the other.
‘Morning... Sir William,’ I said meekly. I felt so silly using the name that it made me blush.
He gestured for us to sit. ‘William’s fine, as you well know, John.’ He looked at Dave.
‘Oh,’ I said, suddenly remembering that the two hadn’t met, ‘this is Dave. Dave, William.’
‘Hi, Sir William. Pleasure to meet you, heard a lot about you.’ Dave reached down and shook Rick’s hand, and just as I remembered what else I was supposed to warn Dave about, he continued. ‘D’you know, you look just like that American businessman. You know, the one who used to do all that silk shit in the ol’ days. Read about it in my guidebook. Jeez, what’s that guy’s name?’ He closed his eyes in thought.
‘Thompson,’ Rick answered, ‘Jim Thompson.’
Dave snapped his fingers. ‘Yeah that’s him. Man you look just like him!’
Rick looked at me and raised his eyebrows with a ‘told you so’ look.
Ta perked up. ‘Tha’s because he his son, man.’
‘His what?’ Dave exclaimed, and eyed Ta as she rubbed Rick’s belly with the flat of her hand.
‘Willia’ his son. My baby son o’ rich man.’
‘His son?’ Dave slapped his thigh. ‘Huh! That guy’s son would be at least... ’
‘Not as old as you,’ Rick butted in before Dave could say that that made Rick about 150 years old.
Ta frowned but then settled her head back down onto Rick’s chest and looked up longingly at his face, kitten-like, and for the first time since arriving I wondered who was hoodwinking who. She didn’t look much like royalty, but then what would the daughter of a millionaire Thai man look like? Especially on a beach where the trappings of wealth and city life are stripped away. Take off her crown and put the Queen of England in a supermarket checkout and she’d look just like any other old granny.
I quickly changed the subject. ‘What happened to all the other people that were here last night?’
Rick stretched and said, ‘They’ve gone back to Hat Rin probably, the next rave’s not until next week. We only have two a week. Too many hassles what with the police and the Mafia. Not only that, but we can’t make enough acid for any more parties.’
‘You make that stuff?’ Dave remarked, clearing away some dead leaves and sitting down on the cool sand.
‘Course, up in the jungle where Ta lives.’
I looked up at the trees inquisitively. ‘How d’you get it all here then? Where’s your boat?’
‘Boat?’ He laughed. ‘We don’t use a boat.’ He sat up and pointed down the tree line. ‘There’s a path through there, leads right up and over the hill. If you keep going, eventually you come out at Hat Rin. Fooking long walk though, really hot.’
I was expecting Dave to say smugly, ‘Told you they had a land route,’ but he was still frowning, pondering Rick’s age in relation to his father. Wiping a finger across my brow, a trickle of sweat ran down my palm. ‘It’s hot here,’ I said, and puffed my cheeks.
‘Much hotter up there. We spend most of our time down here to escape from the heat. It’s OK at night, there’s usually a breeze, but during the day,’ Rick shook his head, ‘forget it.’
I paused to look at Ta and then back at Rick. ‘So are you living up there now?’
‘Mostly, yeah. I come down to town when I want something different to eat, but that’s about it.’ He stood up and brushed the sand from his Coco the Clown meets tie-dye hippy outfit. ‘I’ll explain it all in more detail later.’ With his back to Ta he gave her a shifty sideways glance, then leaned forward and whispered, ‘Don’t want her to hear. Ahem! Anyway, that girl who wouldn’t leave you alone last night is Muck. I don’t mean she’s not worthy, I mean her name’s Muck.’ He giggled. ‘Her and Toomy there are from Samui. Did I tell you this already?’
‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘about six hours ago.’
‘Oh. Well anyway, they’re all living with us, so you and Muck can share a room, Dave can stick with Toomy if he wants, and we can all sleep at the house. What d’you think?’
‘Muck?’
‘Yeah I know, funny huh? It gets worse.’ He shook his head, grinning. ‘D’you remember when we had a top ten of deformities in India? Well, now I’ve got a top ten of funny Thai names. Some of them you won’t believe. There’s... Oh,’ he stopped, having remembered something, ‘I almost forgot, did you find Big Balls?’
‘No,’ I said dejectedly. ‘I went to all the way to Varanasi, but no sign.’<
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‘Shame, I’d like to have seen some footage. Still got the camcorder?’
Before I could answer, Ta came up and touched Rick’s arm. ‘We go ba’ now. Eat brea’fas’.’
Rick looked at me so I rubbed my stomach and nodded. ‘OK,’ he said, ‘wake Muck and we can all go together. Got enough food?’
‘I got egg, bacon an’ toas’ jus’ for you an’ frien’. Ma’ ve’ tas’y.’ She ran over and shook her friend awake, shouting something in Thai. Muck looked like death warmed up when she woke and didn’t seem at all happy with her friend for waking her. A few harsh words were exchanged before she saw me and put on a smile. They gathered what little possessions they all had and walked off in front, talking mostly Thai to each other.
‘Dave.’ I shook his arm and he snapped out of the trance. ‘You coming?’
‘Uh? Where?’
‘To Rick’s place. Haven’t you been listening to anything?’
‘Sir William’s place?’ he said, looking around in confusion as though he’d just been deposited on the beach. ‘Oh yeah, course.’
I thought again about how to explain the situation to him, not really wanting to go through the whole thing, and said, ‘Dave, Rick’s not really the son of Jim Thompson, you know?’
He went to pick up his shirt from the beach where he’d left it, staring fixedly at the sand, his brow a ploughed field of deep thought. ‘John,’ he said quizzically as he returned, ‘if he is the son of Jim Thompson, that makes him fifty years old. At least!’
TEN
The house was stunning, or rather the location was. The house itself was just a two-storey bamboo and wood job with half a dozen largish rooms and a balcony that ran around the outside. It had a small front porch and a sloping pitched roof that came right down almost as low as the balcony handrail, like the brim of a wide hat.
The location of the house was pure tropics. Set high up on the jungle hillside, we had a clear view over the tops of the palms right down to the sea. Standing on the balcony, one could just make out the rocks that separated our cove from Hat Rin, but otherwise our seclusion was complete.
