Answered Prayers

by Max Hudson

  “Andy, good morning. Come through, please.”

  Andy managed to hold back the shock of awareness that bolted through him when Jude’s hand touched his own, but he couldn’t stem the groan that escaped when the priest walked away, giving Andy a perfect view of his ass in a pair of tight-fitting jeans. He coughed to disguise the sound, and prayed the man hadn’t heard it. He wasn’t there to scope out a hookup. He was there to hopefully land a job, please God. He wondered why the priest was so casually dressed and got his answer when they walked into his quiet, sunlit office. Two other men were there, both in hard hats. They were tough-looking guys, one a grizzled old geezer with kind eyes, the other rough and dangerous-looking.

  “Andy, these men are responsible for renovating the manse. Work began earlier this morning, and I’ve told them about you. John, Dave, this is Andy Grant.”

  The younger man looked him over, and Andy stood tall and waited quietly until his perusal ended. The older man stepped forward, hand extended. “Pleasure to meet you, Andy,” he said.

  “Same here, sir.”

  “I’m John Daley. I own the company doing the reno for the church. This is my son Dave. He’s the foreman on this project.”

  Andy looked the younger man in the eye but said nothing. Dave nodded finally and extended his hand as well. “Do you have any experience working in construction?”

  “No.” Andy kept his answer short.

  “Do you have any allergies we should know about?”

  “None.”

  “When was your last checkup?”

  “Eight months ago, when I got out.”

  Neither man flinched when Andy made his revelation. Father Carter must already have told them. If they hired him, he’d be grateful his record didn’t shoot him in the foot.

  “You look like a strong guy. Today is demo day. I’m ready to begin if you are.”

  And just like that, Andy had steady, good-paying work. He turned to thank the priest, being careful to let nothing of his deeper emotions show.

  “I can’t thank you enough, Father,” he said.

  “No thanks, necessary, Andy. You deserve every opportunity to move ahead. Now, I know these gentlemen have some paperwork for you to sign. I’ll be around later if you need me.”

  The rest of the day was one long round of backbreaking smashing and breaking and hauling. As a general laborer with no skill, Andy did whatever needed to be done. The next few days followed the same pattern, and each evening found him back at Samaritan House exhausted. At the end of the first full week, when the men were leaving for the weekend, he got his wage packet and his eyes popped at the amount in it. He looked up to find Dave’s eyes on him, and when the man smiled, for the first time since they had shaken hands in the priest’s office, Andy was startled.

  “We pride ourselves on paying a good wage for good work. You’re a smart guy. Father Carter told us all about you. I’ll be adding to your responsibilities over the next couple of weeks if you’re up for that.”

  Andy grinned. “Hell, yeah. Sign me up.”

  Dave chuckled. “Don’t be too eager. You might not like it so much.”

  Andy shook his head. “If it pays at least this much, I’m good. Thanks. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  He collected his gear and turned into the stripped-down bathroom to tuck his pay packet away, strip down to his boxers, and change into clothes he could wear on the bus. His first task the next day was to go to the rental office and pay for the efficiency. He would move on Sunday, if he could get some help.

  Exiting the empty section of the house, he bumped into the priest, who was just walking back in.

  “Andy, I thought you had already gone.”

  “Was just changing to get the bus home.” Andy tried not to inhale the scent of the man standing before him. He didn’t need anything else to increase the lust he felt every time Jude Carter was near.

  “Why don’t you come share a cup of coffee with me before you leave? Let me know how everything is going.”

  Andy should say no. There wasn’t anything much to report. He did whatever he was given to do and went home after eight hours of solid manual labor. Staying around was bound to cause problems. But Andy had only caught the odd glimpse of the priest for the last six days, and his need to be in the same space with him was overwhelming.

  “Sure.” He wasn’t a saint but sharing a cup of coffee wouldn’t give him enough time to lose control, and he’d still get to spend it in Jude’s company. He followed the priest into the garage and sat at the kitchen table.

  “I’m just about to have dinner, if you’d like to share it with me,” Jude said, turning back to Andy. “The ladies’ auxiliary has taken over feeding me while the renovation is ongoing, so I only have to fend for myself for breakfast.”

  Dinner with the priest? That would no longer be just a cup of joe. Could he hold on? This wasn’t a date or anything like that. He could hurry and eat, keep the conversation on safe subjects, not look the man directly in the eye, and maybe he’d escape without popping a boner. Knowing he was lying to himself, Andy shook his head regretfully.

  “I’m sorry, Father. I’m on kitchen duty this evening. A cup of joe is all I can stay for.”

  Was that disappointment he saw shadowing the priest’s eyes for a second? It couldn’t be. Father Carter couldn’t possibly want his company enough to be disappointed that he couldn’t stay…could he? The look had disappeared by the time Andy blinked and looked again, and in another moment, Father Carter was placing a mug in front of him.

  “Cream? Sugar is there if you need it.” The priest gestured to the little Lazy Susan with the condiments in the middle of the table.

  “Cream, please.”

  The pot of cream was placed in front of him, and Andy poured a healthy measure into his coffee, then added one packet of sugar. He sipped the brew, squinting his eyes against the steam that rose from the cup.

  “So how is work?”

  Andy looked over at Jude, who had sat down across from him, sipping his coffee black.

  “It’s tough some days. Lots of smashing things and hauling trash. Dave says he’s starting me on something different on Monday. Can’t say I’ll mind that at all.”

  “And is the pay worth it?”

  Andy nodded. “Definitely! I’m going to sign the lease for the efficiency tomorrow, and if I can move by Sunday, I’ll be on my own before work starts next week.”

  “That’s exciting news. I’m happy for you. I know you’ve worked hard to be independent.”

  “I love Samaritan House, Father, don’t get me wrong. But a man’s gotta do what he thinks is best for his peace of mind.”

  Something in the way the priest looked at him made Andy pause. There was longing there, though Andy couldn’t be sure what it was for.

  “Don’t you agree, Father?” he asked, wanting the priest to open up to him.

  Father Carter blinked and stuttered. “Oh…absolutely, Andy.” Faint color rode up his cheeks before he added, “And please, for heaven’s sake, call me Jude.”

  Andy’s breath hitched, but he ignored it. “I wouldn’t want to disrespect you, sir,” he said, determined not to find anything significant in the request.

  “I’m not ‘sir’, either,” Jude continued. “We’re friends. Call me Jude.”

  Andy swallowed his disappointment that Jude only saw them as friends. What more had he expected? The man was a priest, for Pete’s sake! He wasn’t in the market for a love partner. Squaring his shoulders, he replied,

  “Jude it is.”

  “I agree that a man has to do all he can to find peace. But sometimes it comes at a great cost.”

  Andy looked up again. Why did he feel the weight of that statement so heavily? Clearly, it was significant and Andy waited for the priest to continue, but when he didn’t, Andy asked because he was curious.

  “Are you talking about yourself? I thought you had already found your peace.”

  Jude’s smile was cur
iously sad, making Andy want to leap across the table and hug him. Instead, he waited, sipping his coffee. Eventually, the priest spoke again.

  “As I’m sure you know, Andy, sometimes life throws us curves.”

  He said nothing more, and Andy didn’t understand his cryptic words. But the sadness in them was tempered by a light in his eyes when he considered Andy’s own that burned through to his soul. It was almost as though he knew the secret Andy was keeping from him. Which was downright ridiculous, as Andy had been very careful around him in the time since he had first admitted to himself his growing attraction to the priest. Suddenly uncomfortable, he gulped the last of the coffee, burning his throat, and stood up in a rush.

  “Well, I hope you find it again, Fa…Jude,” he said. “I’m sorry I have to go now. Enjoy your dinner.”

  Hoping the priest would remain in the kitchen, but knowing instinctively that he wouldn’t, Andy felt the man’s presence behind him as he walked to the small door in the garage. He turned to find Jude almost in his personal space, a hungry light in his eyes which he quickly masked from Andy’s view. And comprehension hit him with the force of a dump truck — Jude wanted him.

  “Have a good night,” Andy said, resisting the almost overwhelming urge to reach across the space between them and capture the priest’s lips. That was a bad idea. Really bad. “Enjoy services tomorrow.”

  Andy saw when the light died in Jude’s eyes and something in him fell apart. He had needed to bring them both back from whatever brink they had been teetering on. Nothing could happen between them. Jude was a man of God, and Andy was an ex-con. He could never forget his place or who he had been. Ten years inside had left their mark on him, and he could never taint the priest with that stain. He walked away before Jude answered him, ignoring the pain in his chest. He could do this. The work on the manse was scheduled to take about six weeks. He would do his best to avoid Jude, and hope that whatever the priest thought he was feeling would end and he would find his peace again.

  Chapter Two

  The demolition was complete and the bare bones of the manse’s lower floor seemed almost ghostly in the quiet of the early morning. Unable to sleep, Jude had been up before the birds, showered and dressed and was now in the makeshift garage kitchen sitting at the table cradling a warm cup of coffee between his palms. Last night, he had come close to kissing a man. He could still feel the tension that had stretched between them as he and Andy had stood by the door of the garage. Something must have shown in his eyes, because Andy had shut him down as quickly and as certainly as if he had slammed the door in Jude’s face.

  “Enjoy services tomorrow.” He was a priest, not just any guy. He had an example to set for the young boys and the men in his church. He couldn’t continue to lead them when he was so torn by his growing affection and lust for a man. And not just any man, but Andy Grant, ex-con, a man who had shown he could be violent when pushed. What was he thinking?

  Rising from the table, he took his mug with him back up to the second floor, which would receive a makeover once the renovation of the lower floor was complete. In his makeshift office, he sat behind the desk and woke his tablet. His sermon appeared, and he cast a disinterested eye over it. He had no desire to speak words of wisdom to anyone else when he himself needed guidance. He had no one to talk to about his problem except a God whom he was told condemned men in his situation.

  Jude had been actively struggling with what to do for the last few months, as he had come to know Andy better outside of the confines of the prison where they had met. And every time they met, his desire grew. Last night had been a kind of tipping point, and Andy had cut him off at the knees. Jude knew Andy had been right to do so, but it still hurt, especially as he wondered now if he could ever find happiness without the man who clearly didn’t need or even want him.

  A sound made him turn his head to look out the window in time to see the Junior Warden, who was responsible for the upkeep of the church and grounds, among other things, making his way around to the door that gave entry to the back offices of the church. It was still very early, but Jude knew that by the time he made his way over to the office, the sanctuary would already be prepared for morning services.

  Looking back down to his sermon, he sighed heavily. Best to get his mind off Andy Grant and onto the morning’s sermon. He had a christening and, later in the day, the last in a series of pre-wedding marriage counseling sessions. They had been especially tortuous for Jude, who could almost feel the love between the two young people whose innocence tore at his heart. There was so much he couldn’t tell them, having had no experience in those matters himself. And while he had done his research, and consulted with those who could better advise him as to what to say, he felt his inadequacy most keenly because he was himself a man falling in love…but not in any kind of traditionally acceptable way.

  Shaking away the unhappy thoughts, including the one which said he had to make a decision soon about his situation, he focused on the sermon, and once he had rehearsed it until he was fluent in it, he finished dressing and took his vestments with him down to the church. Time to do his job.

  The rest of the week was no less tortuous for Jude, who had to suffer seeing the man he was coming to care for working hard at the job Jude had helped him to get. He admired Andy’s work ethic, his determination to live independently, his need to give back to Samaritan House by making room for someone else who needed the space he occupied more than he did. He let himself enjoy the sight of Andy’s muscled body, his long arms and legs, the way his back glistened in the sun when he stripped off his shirt to wipe his head when the day grew too warm. He let himself imagine running his hands across the tanned expanse of Andy’s lightly furred chest, and wondered what that would feel like.

  Jude groaned as he stood by the window in the church office on Saturday evening watching as the men left in their trucks. He hadn’t seen Andy since lunch time, and now the grounds were quiet. He wanted to be close to Andy, if only for a moment, before he left and Jude would be without him for a whole day. Another day of services. The thought brought him up short. He couldn’t keep doing this. His need for Andy was all-consuming, waking him at night from wet dreams that made him blush to remember them. How could he keep doing this work knowing that what he wanted was against the church’s teachings?

  “Goodnight, Father Carter.”

  The Junior Warden and one of the volunteers stood by the office door. Jude didn’t know how long they had been standing there, while he had been lost in lustful thoughts. He cleared his face of any expression as he turned to them.

  “Goodnight, Jerry, Paul. See you tomorrow in service.”

  The men waved as they left, and he turned back to the window in time to see Andy striding across the yard in front of the manse, his long legs eating up the space. He carried his duffel bag as usual and Jude wished he could go with him wherever he seemed intent on going. Sighing, he turned away, not wanting to see the man leave. It left a curious ache in his chest to do so, but he had no choice.

  He cleared his desk, picked up his tablet and prepared to leave the office when he heard a door open in the back of the building. Walking to the door, he saw Andy heading toward him. He waited, trying to ignore the anticipation that was making his nerves zing.

  “Father Carter…Jude,” Andy began, “Dave asked me to hand this over to you. We found it earlier in the day as we were replacing a beam. It must have fallen from the floor above.”

  Andy handed Jude a long gold chain on which hung a jewel-encrusted cross. He reached for it, and their fingers touched. The sharp current that passed between them zapped him speechless for a long moment, and Jude felt helpless to do anything but stare at the man who was watching his face with a kind of desperate longing. He had never seen anything like it before because Andy had always kept his emotions carefully hidden. What did the look mean? Did he dare hope? How would it help to know, anyway? He was still a minister of the church, and he couldn’t break the rules.


  Jude closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to center himself and slow the heated rush of blood through his body. Clearing his throat, he opened his eyes and said, “Thank you.”

  He couldn’t think of anything else to say that was appropriate. He certainly didn’t dare say what was on the tip of his tongue. Instead, he backed away into the office, and when Andy followed him, as though they were tied to each other by invisible chains of need, Jude swallowed. Nothing should happen here. Andy should leave, and Jude should watch him go before going to his dinner.

  “Tell me you felt what I just felt.”

  Andy’s question cut into Jude’s frenzied thoughts with a sharp precision, demanding honesty, expecting truth. Jude wanted to lie, but his conscience wouldn't let him. He stalled instead.

  “I don’t know what you felt, Andy,” he began, but when he saw the other man’s eyes shutter, he knew he had to come clean. “But I know what I felt.”

  Andy looked up. “What? What did you feel, Jude?”

  A hunger he couldn’t explain and didn’t understand was surging through Jude’s system like a ravenous beast, demanding that he feed his body what it wanted. And what it wanted was Andy’s body up against his own, Andy’s lips on his. The need was rising as he tried to find a way to confess the sin of his desire to the object of it. When Andy stepped closer, as though he somehow knew the struggle Jude was facing, Jude tensed all his muscles, waiting for the touch that would save him and damn him at the same time.

  Unable to bear the pressure of waiting, Jude closed his eyes and felt a light touch on his cheek. He exhaled sharply and opened his eyes in time to see Andy lower his head and rest his lush lips on Jude’s. The charge that went through Jude surged into his limbs, galvanizing him into action. He put a hand up to hold Andy’s face to his, and pressed his own lips hard against Andy’s. Then he backed away, fear and joy making his body shake.

  “I’m…I’m sorry…”

  “No!” Jude stopped Andy’s halting apology. He wasn’t sorry. He was glad. He wanted Andy to kiss him again, despite the panic that he was fighting to keep at bay. “No, don’t be sorry.”