by Apryl Baker
“There’s my girl,” he whispered against her lips. He ran his tongue over her lower lip, and she let out a tiny sigh, which caused him to chuckle. “Was that so bad?”
Lily felt her face flame up and she ducked her head, her mass of heavy, dark curls swinging in her face. Her hair had become unbound somewhere in between all that, but she couldn’t for the life of her remember when.
“Hey now, my little prude, no hiding,” he chided, lifting her face up. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“It’s just that I…I’ve never…I…”
Nikoli laughed and pulled her into his arms, before falling backward so she landed on his chest. “Lily, don’t worry, your virtue is still intact.”
“So I didn’t lose the bet?” She lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes twinkling. Truthfully, she didn’t care. That would have been worth losing a bet for.
Nikoli burst out laughing, and she found herself laughing too. His entire chest vibrated with laughter. “No, Lily Bells, you didn’t lose the damn bet. Technically, we both orgasmed, so you could say we had sex, but I don’t count it until I’m buried so deep inside you that you can’t tell where you end and I begin.”
The visual that assaulted her pulled a gasp from her, and Nikoli chuckled softly. He started stroking her hair as he pulled her tighter against him. She snuggled in and let herself relax. For once, there was no fear, no tensing up, nothing but a boneless feeling of contentment. She didn’t question it, she just enjoyed it.
“Nikoli?”
“Yes?” he said, his voice as lazy and relaxed as hers.
“If I go with you to Miami, do you think you could take me to my mom’s? I haven’t seen her or the twins in over a year.”
“Of course,” he said. “You shouldn’t go so long without seeing them, though, Lily. Family is important.”
She heard the reprimand in his voice and winced. His family was spread out all over, but she knew for a fact he talked to them all the time on Skype. He may have loose morals when it came to sex, but he had strong family values.
“I know, but before…well, we always ended up feeling awkward, and my mom blames herself for my phobia, I think, even though it’s not her fault. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I’m getting better, thanks to you. I think maybe…maybe I can hug her without panicking. I’d like to try.”
“I have faith in you, Lily Bells,” he said. “You can do it. I’ll book you a ticket tonight.”
“No, I’ll pay for my own ticket,” she told him.
“Lily, I can afford…”
She leaned back and put a finger to his lips. “I don’t care if you can afford it. Thank you for offering, but I’ll pay my own way, thank you very much.”
“You are the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met and the first who didn’t jump at me buying her things.”
She smiled at him. Lily knew exactly who Nikoli Kincaid was. She read the gaming magazines. “Nikoli, all I want is you, not what you can give me.”
“You mean that, don’t you?” he asked, surprise in his voice and on his face.
It was her turn to laugh. She pushed herself up and sat on the edge of the bed, looking for her dress. If she let this conversation go further, it might cause her to say things she’d rather die than confess.
“It’s late, Nikoli, and I need to get back before security locks the door at the dorm.”
“We can stay here tonight if you want.”
Lily glanced over her should her at him. He looked satisfied, yet hopeful, like a little boy asking for a new toy. “I wish I could, but I have to be there for the girls. I can’t stay out unless I make arrangements ahead of time for someone to cover my floor.”
“That’s too bad.” He ran a finger up her spine and she gasped, her skin still sensitive.
She felt the bed shift as Nikoli stood up. She spotted her dress sticking out from under the bed and grabbed it, slipping her legs in and then sliding it up her body. Nikoli came to stand behind her. He pushed her hair over her shoulder, and then zipped the dress up. He bent and placed a soft kiss on her collarbone.
“I want to show you something,” he said. He was wearing his pants, but no shoes or shirt. Taking her hand, he led her out of the bedroom and down a hall. The last door on the right opened into an office.
It was full of dark mahogany wood furniture, and bookshelves lined three of four walls. A wall of windows overlooked downtown Boston. Lily skipped the scenery and went straight to the books. It was a jumbled up mess of computer programming books, fiction, classics, and general science. The man did not know how to organize his library.
“Leave it to you to beeline to the books,” he said with a laugh. “Come over here, please.”
Lily looked up to see him sitting behind the desk, turning on the computer monitor. He typed a few keystrokes and then hummed as he waited for it to log him in. She walked over to stand beside him. He wrapped an arm around her waist while he logged into a program.
“Lily, you’re a pretty decent gamer.”
She laughed. “I guess.”
“Well, would you want to test a beta game?” He looked up into her eyes, and she frowned. Was he asking her to beta test one of his games?
“It would depend on what kind of game it was,” she said at last.
“It’s a first person shooter,” he said. “Zombie game.”
“Sure, if you want me to. I’m a big fan of horror games, and first person shooters are my favorite.”
“I thought as much,” he said. “You kicked ass today in that tournament.”
“It had been a while since I’d played,” she said, playing it down. “It was a team effort, really.”
“Bullshit.” He shook his head. “You took out almost that entire opposing team by yourself. That requires a lot of skill.”
“It’s no big deal.” She shrugged it off.
“Lily, when I said before I could afford to buy you a ticket, I meant it. I own a gaming company.”
“And when I said before I didn’t care, I meant that too. I know who you are, Nikoli.”
“You know?” His mouth fell open, and she laughed. For once, she’d one-upped him.
“I’m a gamer, Nikoli. Of course I know who you are. I just didn’t say anything because I thought you wanted to keep that part of your life private, and it wasn’t any of my business.”
“You knew who I was all this time, and you never asked me for anything…”
“Because I didn’t want anything from you,” she said. “Well, I do want your car, but that’s beside the point.”
“You’re not getting my baby,” he told her, his eyes still wide with shock.
“That remains to be seen, Kincaid.”
“I think you and I both know you’re not getting that car.” His grin turned wolfish.
“We don’t know any such thing,” she said, her own smile turning slightly wolfish. “I can say no.”
“We shall see, my little prude.”
“So we shall,” she agreed, praying she could say no to him.
He gave her a gentle squeeze and focused on the monitor.
“Is this something you’re working on?” she asked.
“Yes,” he answered. “Luther and I are working on it, and we need beta testers to analyze the weapons, how they handle, glitches, things like that. Could you do that for me?”
“Sure,” she said, jumping up and down inside. She’d heard rumors of this game on the ’net, but their company was being so closed-mouthed about it, no one could get details.
He popped a blank CD into the computer and started the burn process. “Lily, I’m trusting you with this. You can’t show this to anyone.”
“I won’t. Not even Mikey.”
A few minutes later, he popped the CD out. He rummaged around for a sleeve and handed it to her. “Come on, Milaya, let’s get you home.”
She cast one last look at the couch, her face flaming before she followed him out of the apartment. She truly hope
d she could say no.
But somehow she didn’t think she was going to.
Chapter Sixteen
The next morning, Lily woke up to someone pounding on her door. She groaned and cracked an eye. 5:30 a.m. Who in God’s name was pounding on her door this early? Sighing, she threw back the covers and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She’d gone to sleep less than an hour ago. Nikoli’s damn game kept her up till all hours, engrossed in it.
Another round of loud knocking earned the poor door a glare. “I’m coming! Give me a minute!” She grumbled, standing up. She dragged herself to the door and nearly ripped it off the hinges. Adam stood there, his eyes bloodshot, and he smelled like a brewery.
“Hey, Lils.” He grinned down at her. “Can I come in?”
A door cracked down the hall and Lily stepped back, not wanting any of the very gossipy girls on this floor to see him. “Hurry up,” she said as he took his sweet time stumbling inside. How did he even get in here? Guys weren’t allowed in the girls’ dorms past eleven at night.
“You’re drunk, Adam,” she said, a glare that would torch even Satan himself on her face.
“Just a little,” he agreed, his eyes drooping.
“What are you doing here?” She frowned when he tried to sit on her bed and missed, his butt landing on the floor with a loud thump.
“I don’t know,” he said, the confusion in his voice as puzzling to him as it was to her. Or it could have been the slight slur when he talked. “I just started walking and ended up here. I’m sleepy.”
Lily sighed. She couldn’t boot him out when he was drunk. She locked her door, and then threw him one of her pillows and grabbed a blanket out of the closet. “Here. You can sleep on the floor.”
He gave her a crooked grin and lay down, pulling the blanket close. He was always a blanket hog, even when they were kids. She climbed back in her bed and tried to ignore his shuffling. She needed sleep too.
Just as her eyes were closing, she heard, “Lily?”
“Yeah?” Go to sleep dammit.
“I’m sorry.”
He sounded pitiful and lonely.
“I need you to forgive me, Lils…I miss you. What I did, it was unforgivable, but I need my best friend back. Please.”
There was that heartbroken little boy she’d loved so much. The same one who’d stuck by her through everything. She missed Adam too. He’d hurt her deeply, yes, but he’d suffered enough. She’d forgiven him a while ago; she’d just been teaching him a lesson.
“Okay.”
“Thank God,” he whispered. “You remember that summer we went to Myrtle Beach, and I ignored you because I was flirting with what’s-her-name?”
Lily laughed. Yes, she remembered it. It was the summer she realized he didn’t love her like she wanted him to. It wasn’t until he’d started liking other girls she’d understood he didn’t feel that way about her. It used to hurt a lot, but not so much anymore.
“You were so mad at me ’cause I left you out of everything. I didn’t understand why you were so mad until now, until you stopped talking to me. Now I know what it feels like to have your best friend ignore you. I’m so sorry, Lils.”
He must really be drunk to be going down memory lane.
“It’s okay, Adam. Let’s go to sleep, okay? I’m tired.”
“Okay.”
Lily breathed a sigh of relief when he stopped talking. She was damn tired and needed sleep.
“Why are you dating Kincaid?”
“You know why,” she said, groaning. Why? Why tonight? Why did he have to start talking about this when he was drunk and she was dead tired?
“No, not that bullshit reason you told everyone. Why him, Lily?”
“Why not?” she asked.
“Because he is…”
“None of your business,” Lily interrupted before he could start in on Nikoli’s character. Yeah, he might be a manwhore, but he was also a decent person at heart. And she loved him. She still couldn’t figure out how she’d let it happen, but there was the cold truth of it. Scared, she should be scared, but she wasn’t. Even if he broke her heart, and he would, she didn’t regret it. She thought she might once she started to really think about it, but she didn’t. Nikoli had given her more in a few months than anyone else had in her entire life.
“He’s gonna hurt you, Lils,” Adam told her, the slur back in his voice.
“I know,” I whispered.
“Then why?” Adam asked, confused.
“Because I love him,” she replied softly.
“Damn,” Adam cursed. “You’re not serious? He will eat you up and spit you out, Lily.”
“Why do you care, Adam?” she asked, irritated. “Who I do or don’t love isn’t your business.”
Adam sat up and looked at her. His eyes were serious. “I care because I love you, Lily. I’ve always loved you.”
“I love you too, Adam, but this big brother complex has to stop. I can make my own choices, my own mistakes. You don’t have to protect me. I need to live my own life instead of hiding behind you and letting you protect me from anything that can hurt me.”
“No, Lils, you don’t understand. I love you.”
“And I love you too,” she laughed.
“No, dammit,” he growled. “I love you, Lily, not Susan. You.”
Lily’s mouth fell open. Did he just say what she thought he said? He loved her? Like loved loved her? No way. And why did he say it when he was drunk?
“Adam, you’re drunk and not thinking straight,” she said at last. “It’s the booze talking. Go to sleep and you’ll forget all this in the morning.”
“I’m drunk, Lily, but not nearly that drunk,” he said softly. “I know what I’m saying.”
“Adam, you love Sue,” she said, trying desperately to remind him. Why now? Was it just a response to her telling him she was in love with Nikoli?
“Yeah, I do love Sue,” he agreed. “I loved her enough to ask her to marry me.”
“Then why are you saying you love me and not her?” Lily searched his eyes, and she saw a truth there she would have jumped up and down for a few months ago, but not now.
“Because I’m a blind fool,” he said bitterly. “My mom said something to me over the summer when I told her about the engagement. She said I was foolish for not seeing what was right in front of me. I didn’t understand what she meant, but I do now. When I thought I lost you, I went a little nuts. I kept thinking of how much I hurt you and the look on your face when you told me to get out. The thought of losing you, it broke me. I can’t imagine my world without you, Lily.”
Her heart stuttered at the shattered sound of his voice, and a single tear slipped down her cheek. Why couldn’t he have said this even a few weeks ago? She loved him, but she loved Nikoli more.
“You’re the one I want, Lily, the one I want to marry, to have kids with, the one I want to grow old with. Just you.”
“Adam…”
“Please, Lily, tell me you love me, that you’ll marry me, please.”
Her heart broke. She saw the truth of what he was saying in his face, heard it in his voice. Drunk he might be, but he was being honest with her, maybe because he was drunk. It might have given him the courage he needed to tell her all this. Liquid courage, Mike called it. He’d heard the expression in some old western his dad had made him watch. It fit.
“I…”
“Don’t say anything now,” he interrupted her. “Just think about it, okay?”
“You might wake up and regret all this in the morning,” she told him.
“No, Lily, I only regret it took an ass like Kincaid to make me realize how much I love you and how badly I hurt you. Just promise to think about it, please? Just think about you and me and everything we’ve shared, about all we could share in the future? That’s all I’m asking, to just think about it.”
“Okay,” she whispered, and he lay back down. When he didn’t say anything else, Lily turned over and stared at the wall. He
r mind felt fuzzy. She was so tired, and now it was full of thoughts and questions about how she felt, about everything.
Why the hell had Adam decided to spring this on her tonight?
And what was she going to do when they both woke up?
***
Nikoli whistled as he walked down the hallway to Lily’s dorm room. It was nine, and he figured she’d had enough time to sleep. He told himself he was here because he wanted to hear her thoughts on the game, but honestly, he just wanted to see Lily. He knocked on her door and shouted, “Wake up, Lily Bells!”
The next thing he heard was a loud thump and Lily cursing worse than a sailor. He laughed, just thinking of her face. She must have fallen out of bed. When she wrenched her door open, his smile faded. Adam was passed out on the floor.
“Shhh,” she whispered and pulled him inside. “He’s still asleep.”
“What’s he doing here?” Nikoli demanded, the caveman inside yelling mine.
“He showed up drunk early this morning, and I let him sleep on the floor,” she said, her voice weary. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to take you to breakfast,” he said, looking at her face. She looked tired, like she hadn’t slept at all last night. “Did you sleep?”
“Some,” she said, yawning. “I was playing your game all night, and then this one woke me up less than an hour after I went to sleep.”
“Come on,” he said, “let me take you to breakfast, and then you can go sleep at the apartment.”
She yawned again and then glanced at Adam before nodding. “He’ll sleep most of the day. He sleeps like the dead when he’s drunk. Let me go to the bathroom, and then we’ll leave.”
Lily grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste before leaving. Once she was gone, Nikoli studied Adam. He couldn’t figure out what Lily saw in Boy Wonder. He was average, generic. He also had bad taste in women. Sue was an empty-headed shrew with a care for no one but herself. Nikoli had had the chance to fuck her in his sophomore year, but even he had standards. Sue was a real piece of work, and he’d nipped her in the bud before she could get past hello.
