She looked so small and vulnerable to him, standing in the doorway under the porch light, with her arms wrapped around her middle. He could tell by the circles under her eyes as he approached that she had not only not slept, but that she'd done some crying as well. Guilt crept in since he knew at least some of those tears were on him. With his hands in the front pocket of his jeans, his shoulders hunched, he stopped at her front door and took a deep breath.
"I wanted to talk to you, if it's okay."
Without a word, she nodded as she stepped aside to allow him into the house.
"Please have a seat." She gestured to the couch. "Um, would you like something to drink? Sweet tea? Coffee?"
"Coffee, if it's not too much trouble."
"All right. I'll be back in a minute."
Carter stayed in the living room, understanding that Lynn needed the few minutes making coffee required to bolster herself. He looked around the room, seeing so much of her personality on the walls and in the furniture. Smooth wooden floors were planks made of thin, pale ash in varying shades. A distressed, dark gray coffee table, sitting on a knobby silver area rug, held a silver tray with white pillar candles in glass domes. The cream colored couch and chairs, with throw pillows and blankets in various shades of cream and gray, curved around it to create a cozy place to sit and chat with visitors. A silver light fixture threw light onto white walls that held large black and white photographs, encased in heavy black frames.
He took his coat off, draping it over the arm of the couch before he wandered over to the floor-to-ceiling shelves lining one wall, studied the movies and books standing neatly together that filled them. She had always been a movie buff and had loved to read; in fact, she could get through a book faster than most people he knew.
Hearing her soft footsteps on the floor approaching behind him, he turned to see her setting the sturdy wooden tray holding two coffee mugs, cream, sugar, spoons on the table. She took one for herself, she doctored it with a deft hand to her liking, and curled up in the overstuffed chair while he did the same. They sat quietly, each studying the coffee in the cups they held.
"I want to apologize to you." He faltered a little before continuing. "Not for the content, because I meant what I said. But for the way I said it, and for leaving the way I did."
Lynn said nothing. She simply sat in her chair, hands wrapped around her coffee mug, and watched him, waiting for him to continue.
"You have to understand, Lynn. I can't stand the thought of a man putting his hands on any woman that way. But that it was you? It had me seeing red in a way that I haven't for a very long time. I still can't wrap my head around the whole situation." He paused to take a drink of his coffee.
"If you'll let me, I'll try to help you understand it all," she told him, taking advantage of the pause.
"I don't think you can make me understand this --"
"I think I can, because you didn't let me finish telling you everything earlier. You just exploded and left before I could get anything else out there."
Carter nodded his head in agreement as he leaned forward to set his cup on the table. Leaning back into the arm of the couch, he rested his arm along the back and rested his ankle on his knee.
"I'll give you that much. I did pretty much railroad you. So, go ahead, let's get the rest of this out so I can maybe gain some perspective."
"Okay." Lynn took a drink of coffee to buy her a minute to gather her thoughts. "Where did I leave off?"
"Last thing I remember is you were telling me about the hospital stay."
"Ah, yes. So, I was in the hospital for a couple of days to be monitored. When the doctor released me, I had to go and talk to the MPs, file a report. I was lucky. I knew most of the guys at the station, as they were part of my unit, so that made it a little easier for me. My commander was there with me as well. I told them everything that happened leading up to, and including, the attack. The sergeant took the report, along with pictures of my visible injuries and a copy of my medical report. They said they would forward a copy of everything to Jason's - that was his name, Jason - commander as well. The guy taking my statement told me that my neighbor had restrained him while waiting for the MPs on duty to show up, and that Jason had been in a cell in the back of the station the whole time I was giving my report. I'll admit it relieved me to know that he was in custody, because I had been planning to ask to have a patrol come by my quarters if he hadn't been arrested already."
Lynn got up from her chair to walk over to the window and look out onto the lawns illuminated by street lights. Carter saw her face reflected in the window pane, looking tired and worn, as if the day had completely exhausted her. He reached for his coffee as he waited for her to continue.
"Jason's commander got the paperwork, and they went forward with UCMJ proceedings," she said, referring the military's code of justice. "It went to a court martial with a number of article charges. The main one being an article 128, which is assault on a commissioned officer. Of course, Jason twisted things to make himself look good when he testified. But between my neighbor's testimony and mine, not to mention the evidence, he didn't have a chance of getting out of the charges. He received a dishonorable discharge, had to forfeit all his pay and allowances, and is now serving three years at the correctional facility on the Sembach Kaserne."
"As glad as I am that he got at least some of the punishment he deserves, what does that have to do with why you left the service?"
Lynn turned to face him and leaned back against the window frame. She crossed her arms and gave her shoulders a slight shrug.
"The process wasn't easy on me. I took a lot of flak from different people about being a female in the military, how I was looking for special treatment, how I was trying to ruin the career of a good soldier, and so on. With some, it became borderline harassment. Between dealing with that, and the nightmares I had for a while after the attack, it began affecting my work. My commander was great and tried to be supportive, but as a unit, we had a job to do and my situation was pulling focus from that. I had to decide whether I wanted to transfer elsewhere, or put the military behind me and start again with something else. My re-up date was coming up fast, so I decided that it would be better for me not to reenlist, and to take my excess leave time for travel while I still had the chance. As soon as I made that decision, it seemed like everything fell into place."
"And your parents, your family, don't know the real reason you came home?"
"Not really. I've given them a very vague reason, but I'm sure that they - especially my mother - know that something isn't right. I wasn't ready to talk about it. Still not, but here we are." She shrugged again.
"I'm not sorry that I made you go through it all, because you needed to get it out, but I am sorry that it hurts you to do it."
"I’m just trying to put it all behind me."
"I understand that, but you do realize that you need to tell your family at some point?"
"Wish I didn't, but I know I do."
"Well, when the time comes, let me know. I'll go with you."
"You will?" She looked at him with questioning eyes. "Why?"
"For one thing, I'd do it for any friend, because that's what friends do. But for you, I want you to know that there's someone with you who knows the story, and that you have someone to lean on if you need it."
Lynn continued to look at him, curiosity warring with the overwhelming desire to accept his offer.
"You don't have to take me up on it." He started to feel itchy under her direct gaze. "But the offer stands."
"Thank you, Carter. I appreciate it, I really do."
"Okay, then." He got to his feet and reached for his jacket. "There's just one thing left to clear up," he stated as he pushed his arms through the sleeves, adjusted the collar.
"What's that?"
"Whether or not you accept my apology." He stopped in front of her and pinned her in her spot with his gaze.
"Of course, apology accepted. As long as y
ou take mine as well."
"What do you have to apologize for?"
"That I put off telling you all this, when I should have told you sooner."
"Lynn." He spoke softly, reaching out to squeeze her upper arms with a gentle grip. "You have nothing to apologize for, but if it means that much to you, I think you know that I accept your apology too." He pulled her to him, enveloped her in a hug. He pulled back long enough to take her chin between his finger and thumb, tilted her head back, and gave her a whisper of a kiss.
"I have to go home, before I do something I shouldn't." His voice had lowered to a whisper as he looked into her eyes again.
"I know." She nodded in understanding. "I don't want you to go either, but you'd better." She moved to open the door for him.
"Drive safe," she said as he made his way down the walk. He looked over his shoulder, gave her a charming grin, and got in his truck. Lynn stood at the front door and watched until his tail lights faded into the darkness, then closed the door and went to bed.
* * *
That night, dreams brought the attack back to her in vivid and excruciating detail. No matter how much her subconscious tried to fight it, the memories haunted her sleep. She could see, smell, feel everything. Including opening the door to her attacker, and inviting him into her home.
Lynn had just sat down to her dinner, with her iPad playing a movie for company, when she heard the knock at the door. Her brow creased, she set her fork down next the plate of spaghetti and made her way to answer the increasingly loud knocks. She wondered who it could be, as it was unusual for her to have visitors stop by on a weeknight. Like her, most everyone else she knew wanted to go home and unwind after long, sometimes stressful, days. She peered through the peephole, closed her eyes, and bit back a frustrated sigh when she saw Jason standing on the other side of her door. Lynn did not want to deal with him, and his not-so-subtle hints, this evening. And it was coming to the point where she didn’t want to deal with him, period. Maybe it was time to end things with him. Tonight.
She opened the door, and through the gap, Lynn saw Jason’s head come up, saw the grin that spread across his face at the sight of her. In her opinion, part of her issues with him lie in the fact that he knew he was handsome and charming. And used both of those characteristics to his advantage as much as possible.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hi, Jason.” Lynn stood on the threshold, leaned a shoulder against the frame and held onto the door handle. “What are you doing here?”
“Just thought I’d drop by, since I was in the area.” He searched her face, his eyes narrowing a fraction when he realized that she wasn’t thrilled to see him. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just tired.” Her grip on the handle tightened. “I wish you had called first. I’m in the middle of eating dinner, and I’m not really up for company tonight.”
“You work too hard, babe.”
Lynn ground her teeth at the endearment, and the sentiment. What Jason meant was he thought he should take care of her, pamper her, make her his pet.
“Listen.” He took a step towards her that had her take an involuntary step back through the doorway. “Why don’t I come in, keep you company? Then, I can give you a foot rub, maybe work my way up?” Another step forward, then the tip of his index finger caressing her cheek. Lynn pulled back another step, and soon realized her mistake as Jason slipped past her, making his way into her living room. “You know, if you moved in with me, it would help lighten your load.”
“Jason, I meant what I said.” She turned to him, holding the door open for a minute longer before pushing it closed a tad harder than necessary. “When I said I wasn’t up for company, when I said I wouldn’t move in with you, and when I said I wouldn’t sleep with you until I knew that this could be something permanent.”
“Ah, c’mon. You and I both know that this is going somewhere. We’re great together.” He strolled over to her window, pulled back the edge of the curtain to take in her view. He looked over his shoulder at her as he continued. “I don’t know why you’re fighting this.”
“I’m fighting this because I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” She pressed her fingers to her temples, where a headache brewed that threatened to reach migraine proportions. “I’m sorry, Jason. I’ve tried, I really have. But it's over.” She turned to pace away from him back to the door, and missed the look in his eyes. The look that she would pay for what she’d just said, and that he’d get what he wanted, one way or another.
“You’re breaking it off?” His voice was eerily calm and without the charm that usually laced it.
“Yes. And now I think it’s best you go.”
"No, I think we need to talk this out, see if we can fix what's wrong." Seemingly casual, he tucked his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels as he studied her.
"I don't think so, since there's not much to talk about." She hugged herself around her midsection. "I can’t be with someone who can’t listen when I tell them about how I feel, or can’t understand my wants and needs when I say it in plain English. Someone who doesn't respect the boundaries I have in place for myself, or the reasons behind them." She turned to walk towards the living room.
"This is about you not wanting to sleep with me? About not wanting to move in with me?" Jason's irritated voice trailed behind her.
"No, this is about a relationship that's not working for me anymore." Lynn turned back to face him, only to realize he had come up behind her. They were roughly the same height, so her eyes were level with his. He stood silently, hands still fisted in his pockets, his head tilted slightly to one side as he searched her face with slightly narrowed eyes. The minutes seemed to stretch out endlessly, until that split second when his hands snaked out to grab her by her upper arms.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Lynn gasped in surprise and struggled, twisted and pushed against him, as she tried to escape his grasp. He knew how to counter every hand-to-hand move she made, making her efforts to escape useless.
“Do you really think it’s that easy to get rid of me?” Jason’s tone, low and threatening, sent shivers up her spine. This was not the charming man she’d once thought he was. The man who held her in his painful grip was dangerous. She could see that now, and hoped that it wasn’t too late to do something about it.
“Jason --” Lynn’s reply came to an abrupt stop as Jason reached up and slapped her in the face, the cracking sound of skin meeting skin echoing throughout the room .
“You are a fucking tease. We’ve been going out for months, and I’ve had to watch you sashay around, just out of reach. Do you know what it's like for a man to have to watch and wait and want?" He gave her a rough shake, and Lynn could feel the bruises start to gather where his fingers dug in on her biceps. "Well, I’m going to get what I’ve waited for. But I’m going to teach you a little lesson first.”
Before Lynn could react, he had clamped his strong grip around her throat, and slammed her back into the nearby wall. Bright light burst behind her eyes, and the impact took the headache to new levels. She could feel the pressure building in her face as his thumb pressed on her windpipe, could hear as what little air she could breathe wheezed past the obstruction. In desperation, Lynn tried to twist away, pushed at his chest, pulled at his arm in an attempt to break free. When that failed, she went for his face. She aimed for his eyes, but missed her mark. Strong nails clawed their way down his cheek, and blood bloomed in the scratches. He howled in pain and anger as he threw her to the floor, and put a hand to his face. When his hand came away smeared with blood, his temper rose another notch, and he glared at Lynn.
“You bitch.” Jason wiped his bloody hand on the front of his shirt, stared down at her. “You’re going to pay for that.” He started towards her again. Despite the fact that her throat burned and her head throbbed, she started to scream as loud as she could. Hoping, praying that someone close by would hear and come to her aid.
As s
oon as Jason got within reach, her survival instinct overtook her training. She began to kick and swing her fists, anything to hold him off until help arrived. But Jason found the opening he needed in her attack, and punched her in the face, followed by several more to her midsection. Paralyzed by pain, Lynn could do little more than try to block the blows he rained down on her. She screamed again, calling for someone, anyone, to help her. Time seemed to stand still as she continued to be battered and beaten.
“Shut the hell up!” Now straddling her, he grabbed her by the hair, lifted her head off the floor, and viciously slammed it back again with so much force that Lynn nearly blacked out. Groaning, she continued to try to fight him off, but her strength was waning, and she was having trouble staying conscious. Her vision was blurred, and her left eye was rapidly swelling shut.
“Now, I’m going to have what’s mine.” She felt her shirt rip as he grabbed the hem with both hands and yanked. Lynn summoned all the strength she had left in her body to make another attempt to fend him off.
Suddenly, he was gone. The weight he'd had on her midsection was lifted, and though she was still terrified, she was also confused. It all became more clear when Lynn could hear the grunts of men struggling, the sounds of bone repeatedly meeting flesh. A loud thud, a rasping noise, and then all sounds stopped. When the footsteps that echoed through the apartment got closer, Lynn scrambled to get away, trying to crawl to hide from this new intruder.
“Lynn, honey, it’s Mitchell from across the hall. It’s okay, you’re safe now.” Lynn could feel him rather than see him at her side.
Her Last Love (Small Town Hearts Trilogy #1) Page 8
