"Do you remember the last time we did this?" he asked her, as he played with her hair with the tips of his fingers.
"Actually, I do. I remember being stretched out on the hood of my old car. Remember that car, the little red one? Anyway. It was just before I left for boot camp. We were talking about our plans for after my AIT was over, how we would live after I got my duty station assignment and all the possibilities. God, we were so young!"
"Not so young we didn't know how we felt about each other," He continued to play with her hair as he spoke and watched the sky. "I loved you then, but not as much as I love you now."
"You love me?" Lynn tilted her head back to study his profile.
"Yeah, I do. I love you. Guess I always have."
"Well, that's handy." She snuggled back down against Carter's side.
"How's that?"
"Because I love you too, and guess I always have."
"How about that?" Carter smiled, hugged Lynn a little tighter, and gazed up at the stars, realizing that he was more content and happy than he'd been in a long time.
13
A month had passed since the collapse at the mines; just thirty days since they'd buried Kyle. The community still had wounds that were raw, and people were still reeling from the loss of two of their own. But, slowly, life was moving forward, and those wounds were healing. Thanksgiving was now behind them, and Christmas seemed to approach fast. The holidays gave everyone something to look forward to, or at the least, another distraction from the sadness that still lingered.
Carter could use the distractions. Between dealing with the issues his ex-wife continued to cause, and battling to accept that Kyle was gone, the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Things were better for him when he was with Lynn or his boys, but the times he found himself alone were miserable.
As he pulled into Lynn's driveway, a sense of relief passed over him. Here, he knew he could just be, and not have to worry about all the things that had been plaguing him in the last couple of months. Carter stepped from the warm interior of the truck into the bitter cold of a November afternoon and huddled into his jacket as he made his way up the walk. He opened the front door, festive with its colorful wreath wishing visitors a Merry Christmas, and let himself inside the house.
"Lynn?" he called, as he took off his coat and hung it up on the rack.
"In the kitchen!" she responded. "Come on back!"
Carter followed the smells of fresh baked cookies to the kitchen, where he found Lynn bending to remove another batch from the oven. As she straightened, he could see she was wearing an apron over her worn jeans and tee shirt, and she was barefoot. When she turned smiled at him, her hair pulled back, he saw faint smudges of flour on her face. He didn't think she'd ever looked more beautiful.
"Smells good in here." He sniffed the air. "What's the occasion?"
"Office party next week. And I wanted to have a few batches ready for other get-togethers and to have around here."
"Nice," he commented, reaching for one of the undecorated cookies that still sat cooling on the rack.
"No, sir!" She swatted at his hand with the spatula she'd been using to transfer the newest batch to the racks.
"Aw, c'mon. That's just mean, making all these cookies and not sharing." He did his best little boy impression, thrusting his lip out and pretending to pout.
"Pitiful." Lynn laughed. "But I took those out recently, so they're still warm, and they're not decorated, so you have to wait." She shook her spatula at him to emphasize her point. "Have a little patience."
"Okay." He sighed. "What can I do to help this process along so I can eat cookies?" He came around to stand next to her, observing the area she was using to see what was what.
"Really?" She eyed him. "You want to help me make cookies?"
"Sure, if it gets me to the eating portion of the process."
"All right," she replied, shaking her head. "Apron's are in the drawer over there. Grab one, and that bowl of white frosting, and I'll get you started."
"Nuh-uh." He shook his head, held up his hands. "I'm not wearing an apron."
"It's not a 'girly' apron," she replied, amused. "Very plain, very manly."
"Nope. Not gonna happen. The only way I wear an apron is if it says 'Kiss the Cook', and I'm standing over a grill, barbeque sauce in one hand, and a beer in the other. And even then it's doubtful."
Lynn shook her head and smiled. The image he brought up was entertaining to think of, but not him at all.
"Fine, no apron. But no whining about messing up your clothes if you get something on them."
"Deal."
"Grab that glass bowl right there." She pointed to the one in question. "You're going to use this spreader to put a thin layer on the cookies on that rack over there." She pointed again. "Those are the ones that will have sprinkles on them."
The two worked in comfortable silence for a few minutes; Lynn getting the last batches of cookies ready for the oven while Carter concentrated on not making a mess out of white icing and cookies.
"So." Lynn broke the silence as she opened the oven to slide another tray in to bake. "How have things been going for you? Doing okay?"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, I think about Kyle every day. It's weird not having him around anymore. The guys and I haven't had a poker night since the accident. Just doesn't feel right, you know?"
"I know." She stepped over to rub his back. "But at some point, you need to move on. I think I know how to make that happen, at least for poker night."
"Yeah?" He paused in the process of icing the cookie in his hand. "How's that?"
"Well," she began, leaning a hip on the counter so she faced him. "How about this? Get the guys together for the weekly game. Just the regular guys, no one new, because you're not trying to replace Kyle. Leave Kyle's seat open, with his usual beer and poker chips, or whatever else he had at his seat. All the guys toast him before you start your game, and then just play. Use that time to talk with others who knew him like you did, share memories, stories. And, later, when the time is right, you'll be able to take the beer and poker chips away, and eventually find someone who you will want to join in the game. But only when you are all ready because there is no rush."
Carter studied her in silence for a moment, then set the cookies and knife on the counter. He reached over and pulled her into a tight hug, resting his chin on her head.
"Thank you," he said. "I have been trying to come up with a way to honor his memory, and this is perfect. It's simple, and just right. I'll talk with the guys next week and see about getting everyone together."
"You're welcome." Lynn pulled back and kissed his cheek. "How are things in the Hillary department?"
"Ugh."
"That good, huh?"
"Oh, she's making good on her threats to put me through the ringer in court. We had our first appearance in front of the judge yesterday."
"Yes, I remember you telling me that was happening. Did it go that bad?"
"Not for me, no. Hillary didn't do herself any favors though. She wouldn't let her lawyer talk for her, and kept yelling things at the judge about how I cheated on her, misused her, yada yada yada. To which the judge told her that if she wasn't quiet in his courtroom, she'd find herself in contempt and behind bars."
"Go, judge."
"Yeah." He laughed. "You should have seen the look on her face when he told her that. And when my lawyer told the judge I was seeking full custody."
"You are?" Surprised, Lynn looked up at Carter. "You didn't mention that before."
"I know, and I should have, but it was something I needed to think about. Not that I don't want my boys with me all the time. It's not that at all. I just needed to work out the logistics of it, who would have them or where they would go when I'm at work and they're out of school, that kind of thing. I talked it over with my mom, and she's willing to take them when they can't be with me, or Hillary, during her visitation. Should I get full custody, I mean."
"Will the judge grant that, though?" She studied his face. "Not that you are not a great father, because you are, it's just that most judges tend to side with mothers. Whether it's fair or not."
"Well, here's the thing. The boys have been talking about things that have been going on at home. I want them to tell me, of course I do, but I don't want to be accused of coercing them into making things up about their mom. Which you know she would accuse me of, in a heartbeat. I've taken them to a child psychologist, so it's a matter of record and it can be used in court."
"Wow." Lynn breathed. "I'm afraid to ask, but what kind of things?"
"From what I've heard, a lot of outbursts like what happened at Thanksgiving. And the possibility of drugs."
"Drugs?!?" The thought of a mother doing drugs around those sweet boys had Lynn bringing a hand to her heart. "My God!"
"Yeah, I about flipped out when I heard. Seems she's been taking pills of some sort, 'vitamins' is what she told the boys. But Nathan found the bottle when Hillary was busy elsewhere, and from what he could tell us, they are pain pills. Logan says she takes them all the time."
"So, it's prescription drugs, nothing harder, like cocaine?" Please don't let those boys be exposed to something like that, she prayed silently. Prescription drug abuse was bad enough.
"Logan let it slip that 'mommy's friends come over, and they smoke on the back porch, and it smells funny'."
"Marijuana. Just great." She ran her hands over her hair in frustration. "And the judge knows all of this now?"
"Oh, yeah. She was taken from the courtroom to be tested immediately."
"Well, at least he didn't waste any time."
"No, he didn't."
"Has he talked with the boys?"
"Not yet. We have to go back Monday morning. All of us. He wants to get the results of the drug tests, and he wants to talk to the boys in private. He said he'll decide from there."
"My God, Carter. Why didn't you call me? I know I can't be much help but I could have listened, instead of you dealing with all this on your own."
"It all happened so fast, and was so much to take in, that I just kind of went numb." He took her hand, ran his thumb over her knuckles. "I wasn't trying to shut you out, I was just trying to deal."
"I know." She squeezed his hand. "But you know that you don't have to do this alone, right? I'm here for you. All you have to do is call."
"I know. Actually, there is something you can do."
"What?"
"I was kind of hoping you would come with me on Monday." He looked up from their joined hands to her surprised face before rushing on. "I know how you feel about Hillary, and you have every right to after the way she treated you. But I'd like to have someone there with me, and I know the boys think the world of you."
"And I think they're great kids, but Carter... are you sure it's a good idea?"
"I do. Let the judge see her fly into one of her rages, instead of it being hearsay? Could only help the judge see how she really is, instead of the face she puts on for him in court."
"You want me there to bait her," she accused.
"No, I want you there for the boys and me. Baiting her is just a bonus."
"Well." She hesitated. "I have a sick day I could use..."
"I know it's asking a lot, but I would feel better, having you there with me." His eyes were pleading with hers.
"Okay," she agreed. "I'll go, but if she comes after me, I'm decking her. Whether it lands me in jail or not."
"I’ll pay your bail." He laughed, and hugged her again, before pulling back to kiss her. "And thank you. I know the boys will feel better about having you along, too."
"It's settled, then." Lynn patted him on the shoulder. "Now, let's get back to these cookies. They're not going to decorate themselves." The oven timer went off, sending Lynn into auto pilot as she reached for a mitt to use so she could pull out the hot tray. Watching her place the steaming cookies on the cooling rack, Carter decided it was time to lighten the atmosphere. When she wasn't looking, he slid his finger in the bowl of icing, coating the tip with the sticky mix. He waited, observed her until she turned toward him, then swiped the finger, thick with icing, down her cheek. She stood, stunned, until her eyes narrowed.
"You are so going to get it," she threatened.
"I'm so not scared." With a grin, he snatched up the bowl with the white icing and darted to the other side of the kitchen island. Lynn grabbed the bowl holding the rest of the cookie batter and scooped up a glob with the tips of her fingers.
"You wouldn't dare," Carter accused her.
Her eyebrow cocked, Lynn pulled her arm back and slung the dough in his direction. Her aim was true; the white goo splattered center mass across the beloved Navy emblem and had Carter looking down at the now-dirty blue sweatshirt.
"This is one of my favorite shirts." He growled, now narrowing his own eyes.
"Oops." Lynn giggled. "But to be fair, you started it."
"And now I'm going to finish it," he replied, mimicking her action of scooping as he took more icing from the bowl.
"Oh, no. No, no, no." Lynn squealed as Carter prepared to fling the sticky mess her way. She took cover along the side of the kitchen island and heard it splat on the cabinets behind where her head had been. She heard him moving and looked around the sides of the island to try to see him coming. She soon realized her mistake was not looking above her when a strong male hand smeared icing over her head and into her hair. As soon as she felt it, she reacted. A handful of cookie dough made its way from his hair to his ear and down along the length of his sleeve. Lynn retreated, standing up and moving to another part of the kitchen where small bottles of icing stood waiting to be used. She grabbed one in each hand and smiled in Carter's direction.
"You're terribly out of fashion, sir. I think those jeans need to match your shirt."
"You wouldn't."
"Oh, I would." She nodded and grinned.
"But you love me."
"I do love you, but this is war." And with that, she let the icing cannons loose, watching the sticky white substance puddle and ooze from his thighs down to the cuff of his pant legs. He looked down at his jeans, his jaw dropped, and Lynn couldn't help but laugh.
"Surrender?" She mocked.
"A Navy man, surrender to an Army woman? Please." He looked down once more to study his now sticky clothing. "I wouldn't object to a truce, though."
"Good enough for me." She set the bottles aside and walked over to him, holding out her hand to shake on it. As he took her hand, she saw the mischief gleam in his eyes.
"Don't you --"
Before she could finish, Carter had yanked her to him, and made sure they touched everywhere from chest to knees, so that all the icing on him would transfer, in part, to her.
"Okay, now we can call a truce." He grinned.
"You better be glad I like you." She wrapped her arms around him, laughing. "But now, we seriously need to go clean ourselves up some." She scanned the kitchen which now looked like the war zone it had become. "I'm afraid the kitchen's hopeless though."
"Nah." Carter shook his head. "I'll help you with it."
"Aw, so sweet for the guy who started the food fight to say."
"Shut up." He laughed, stepping back to take her hand. "Let's go take care of getting rid of all this mess."
"Yes, please. It'll take me forever to get this stuff out of my hair as it is."
Lynn led him to her room where he gingerly sat on the edge of her bed while she went into her bathroom to grab a towel for him. She swung the door to close it while she grabbed a towel off the rack behind it, but it stopped a couple inches short. Carter could see the mirror through the wide crack, and watched as she removed the apron, followed by her shirt, both of which she tossed in the hamper.
"One sec, and I'll find a towel for you," she called through the door.
"No hurry." He watched her as she stood at the mirror, surveying the mess on her face and in her hair. As she reached up to ta
ke her hair down, she caught his gaze in the reflection. Her eyes on his, she lowered her arms, reaching out to open the door wider.
Carter had been on his feet the moment their eyes had locked in the mirror and was now making his way across the plush carpet to the bathroom. He shoved the door open completely, crossed the threshold, causing Lynn to take a step backwards. Carter reached up, took her hair down himself, tossing the hair band on the counter. As he spread her hair out around her shoulders, he looked into her eyes again, and saw the same emotions swirling there that he himself was feeling.
Now desperate, he fisted a hand in her hair, brought her to him as he kicked the door closed behind him. Carter could feel her respond as he kissed her without restraint. Her hands clutched at the sides of his sweatshirt, clenching fistfuls of fabric as her body swayed towards his. His hands, keeping it light to the touch, slid up her back where he reached for the clasp of her bra. He snapped it open, slowly peeled it off her narrow shoulders and down her slender arms. He pressed feather soft kisses down her jaw, cruising steadily along the nape of her neck and over the curve of her shoulder. Crouching now, Carter held both of her breasts in his hands, cupping them as if they were precious treasures. She buried her fingers in his hair as he lapped his tongue over each of them, squeezing with his strong hands. Lynn moaned as he brushed his lips down her abdomen, taking a moment to dip his tongue in and around her belly button. His hands slid down her rib cage, coming to a stop on her hips, where he dug his long fingers into the waist of her jeans. He traced his fingers along where rough denim met silky skin, found his way to the button. Lynn could feel the button release, hear the grating of the zipper.
Lynn decided to even things up before they went much further and reached down to tug Carter back to his feet. As she pushed him against the back of the bathroom door, she slid her hands under the hem of his shirt, using her nails to scrape along the ridges of his abs. Lynn heard his hissing intake of breath as she worked her way up to his ribs, her nails digging in a little more before making their way back down again. She was empowered, and grabbed the bottom of his shirt to tug it upwards, until she could whip it off and onto the floor.
Her Last Love (Small Town Hearts Trilogy #1) Page 18
