Then there were all of the other five thousand things he’d needed to learn. All the while his friends had stood by him—encouraging him, lending a hand when he needed it.
But it was the burning shame that ate him up—he was furious with Jocelyn’s mother. A woman who had been tragically taken from his daughter. A woman he knew next to nothing about. A woman who had kept his child a secret. The knowledge scorched his insides.
If Jaime had not died, Alec never would’ve known Jocelyn existed. He would’ve missed out. And that pissed him right the fuck off.
Alec had spent a lot of time over the last nine months reading and rereading Jaime’s letter. He’d spent countless nights lying next to his daughter after she’d fallen asleep, trying to forgive her mother for not telling him she was pregnant. Then he’d spent more days pissed at himself for being such a jackass that—one-night stand or not—Jaime didn’t think she could tell him that their night together had resulted in a child.
“You don’t bring Jocelyn over soon, my wife’s gonna hunt you down,” Nix continued.
“I’ve banned your wife from seeing my kid,” Alec told him. “I’ve been watching McKenna and I get the feeling she’s plotting a kidnapping.”
Alec jerked his chin in a goodbye and started back down the hall.
“You very well may be right about that,” Nix shouted.
“I know I’m right. Hurry up and knock her up so she’ll stop spoiling mine,” Alec bellowed as he made his way down the stairs.
“Trying, brother!”
That tidbit of knowledge made Alec pause. Nix and McKenna had been married just over nine months, it was no secret that McKenna had baby fever. It had started when Jocelyn had shown up and intensified when Weston and Silver’s son was born.
Alec came unstuck and continued down the stairs, he did this thinking about how crazy life was. Being a SEAL had taught him a lot—expect the unexpected. How to adapt and improvise. Yet none of his training had prepared him for fatherhood. Not that a man could ever prepare to love something so small more than his very own breath.
“Who’s the cutest almost-one-year-old in the world? Huh?” Alec watched Macy blow raspberries on Jocelyn’s belly. Then he forced himself to stay rooted when he heard his daughter’s peal of laughter. “Three more days until you’re the birthday princess.” Macy pulled down Jocelyn’s shirt then grabbed one of Jocelyn’s feet and started to fasten her shoe. “Stay still, my squirmy girl, we gotta get you ready for Daddy.”
My squirmy girl.
Fuck, that hit Alec straight through the heart. The whole scene playing out in front of him did, just like every time he caught Macy with his girl.
It was a painful reminder of what Jocelyn had lost. What she’d never have.
“You’re ready to take off running aren’t you? You got important places to go, huh, Jossy girl?” Macy kept talking, and with an ease born from years of practice, continued to get Jocelyn’s shoes on.
Jossy?
“Hope your Daddy’s ready for you to start running. I have a feelin’ you’re gonna skip right over the walking part.”
Fuck no, he wasn’t ready. As a matter of fact, Alec wasn’t ready for any of it, yet that wasn’t stopping Jocelyn from growing up.
But he really wasn’t ready for the walking part. Crawling had meant that Joss was mobile, which Alec had learned the hard way meant he couldn’t take his eyes off of her for even a second.
This lesson came in the form of Joss crawling out of the living room into the kitchen—which had scared the fuck out of Alec that his daughter was not where he’d left her when he went to the bathroom. But thankfully, Joss hadn’t been hurt.
After that near heart attack experience, Alec had bought what Jameson called “Jocelyn Jail”, but it was really just a playpen and Joss was now confined anytime Alec needed her to stay put.
Alec cleared his throat and Macy glanced over her shoulder, wide bright smile firmly in place. And that smile hit Alec in other places. Places he’d ignored since the day two D.C. cops had shown up on his doorstep to inform him he had a child.
Good Lord, the woman has a beautiful smile.
“Hey, Alec. Just getting Jocelyn’s shoes on and she’ll be all ready for you.”
“No rush,” he returned, and watched as his girl started twisting at hearing her dad’s voice.
The sight made Alec’s heart squeeze—every damn time.
“Dadadada,” Joss babbled.
Christ, that was better than his girl’s reaction to hearing his voice.
“Yeah, Daddy’s here. How exciting is that? Almost done, Missy. There. Now you’re free.”
Macy scooted away from Jocelyn and his girl immediately flipped to her belly, came up on her hands and knees, and hightailed it to her old man.
Nothing better.
Alec bent down and scooped Jocelyn up, kissing her forehead before he asked, “Were you a good girl for Macy today?”
He knew he wouldn’t get an answer but the slobbery grin was worth the pointless question.
“You know she’s always an angel,” Macy said, standing up. He couldn’t help following Macy’s hands as they went to her ass to brush off imaginary lint. Alec knew it made him a prick, but the woman had a fine ass, even if she could stand to put on ten pounds. She was too skinny, but it took nothing away from her good-looks—and that included her ass.
“Anything I need to know?”
Alec tore his eyes from her behind and thankfully she didn’t notice he was checking her out. Or if she did, she was blowing it off because her beautiful smile was aimed directly at him.
“Yeah. Few things. She was real determined to walk today.” Shit. Denial and guilt mixed together. “Don’t worry, every time I saw her try and take a step I picked her up.”
“Come again?”
“I picked her up. I’m a mom, remember? I knew you wouldn’t want to miss Jocelyn’s first steps so I did my best to stop her from making them. She was a little cranky I kept at her all day, but I figure she’ll have forgiven me by Monday so it’s all good.” Macy stopped, but before Alec could express his gratitude, she continued. “By the way, with Monday being her birthday, we weren’t sure if you were bringing anything in. If you are, I need to remind you, nothing with peanuts or peanut butter, and unfortunately, it has to be store-bought still in the packaging.”
Alec had no clue what Macy was talking about. He was well aware his daughter’s first birthday was Monday but short of that she’d lost him.
“Not trackin’,” he replied.
“Huh?”
“I got no idea what you’re talking about, Macy,” Alec admitted.
Light dawned and Macy’s features softened. The shift in Macy was immediate, the look taking her from beautiful to beautiful and sweet. A deadly combination. One Alec needed to ignore.
“On birthdays, some parents bring in cupcakes or a cake to celebrate,” she explained, then quickly rushed to add, “not all of them do. And there’s no pressure. We have some party decorations we’ll put up at lunch and we sing Happy Birthday and all that good stuff. You know, try to make the day special. So you don’t have to bring anything.”
Fucking hell, it was times like these when something like this, something important, slapped him in the face and he remembered he didn’t know shit about being a parent. Who the fuck knew he was supposed to bring in cupcakes to the daycare center? Not him.
Alec was having a birthday party for Jocelyn but only because McKenna, Kennedy, and Silver had planned it. When they found he wasn’t doing anything they lost their collective minds and got to work, informing him that a first birthday party was special.
Jocelyn’s mother would know that. Hell, women in general apparently knew that. But not him. Alec figured Joss wouldn’t remember it, therefore it wasn’t a big deal. He’d been wrong.
“Christ,” Alec mumbled and Jocelyn banged her tiny fists on his chest. “How many cupcakes should I bring?”
Macy’s gaze slipped over
Alec’s shoulder and he noted her demeanor had changed. Not just changed, but she’d snapped to attention.
Unease slide over him as the vibe in the room went from warm and friendly to artic.
Alec slowly looked behind him, keeping Jocelyn mostly hidden, and saw a man standing just inside the door of the playroom. The daycare center used to be a house, but it had been gutted and refitted. The living room turned into the sign-in area, filled with cubbies. The dining area had been turned into a nap room. And the four bedrooms into classrooms to keep the different age groups separated. But they were standing in the very back, likely an addition because it was a large open space half as big as the original dwelling used as a playroom.
One of the reasons Alec had picked that particular daycare was because it felt homey—warm and inviting. But more importantly, they had top of the line security. There were cameras everywhere; the parking area, the outside playground, and one in every room. Cameras that Alec could access whenever he wanted, something he did frequently during the day. The front door was also fitted with a numeric keypad, someone had to know the code to get in.
Which meant the pissed-off man in the doorway knew the code. That knowledge didn’t make Alec any less tense.
“Need a word, Macy.”
Alec didn’t turn to see what Macy was doing but he did feel her approach. Then as Macy passed him muttering an excuse me, he locked down the urge to grab her arm and shove her behind him.
Not his place.
“Not cool,” she seethed. “You cannot come here.”
“I can when my wife isn’t returning my calls,” the man returned.
Macy was married? Something that Alec had never considered. Hell, until he saw her a few months ago at the Freeze, he hadn’t known she was a mother. Though he should’ve, the way Macy was with his daughter.
Guilt slammed into Alec at his thoughtlessness. The daycare closed at five, he paid Macy extra to stay open until six, something they’d arranged when he’d first signed Jocelyn up. This was because Alec normally worked until five, and any errands he had could be done before he had to get Joss.
In the beginning, Alec couldn’t even grocery shop when Joss was with him—and it seemed he needed to go there every day. But nine months later, he still left his daughter with Macy instead of braving shopping with his kid.
He was an asshole. And a lazy one to boot.
Of course Macy would have a family of her own, and Alec was unnecessarily keeping her an hour past when she should be home.
Total dick move.
Alec grabbed Jocelyn’s diaper bag and slung it over his shoulder, planning on making a swift exit to give the couple some privacy and also vowing to speak to Macy Monday and explain he’d pick Joss up at the regular time from then on.
But Macy’s declaration stopped him.
“You are my ex-husband, Doug. Ex. Former. As in not current. Meaning you do not ever come into my place of business, but also never come in here looking to pick a fight. Now please leave.”
Ex-husband. That made her a single mother and him more of an asshole for keeping her late.
“We got things to talk about and you’re not answering your phone,” Doug-the-ex-husband announced.
“We don’t. Please leave,” Macy asked again.
“I’ll be at your house tomorrow at eleven to pick up my son. If he’s not ready—”
“I’m telling you right now, he won’t be ready. Caleb made it clear he doesn’t want to go and it is not your weekend. Save yourself the time and gas because he’s not going with you.”
“Caleb better—”
“Why? Why can’t you listen for once?” Macy asked as her hand went to her back pocket. She slid out her phone and angrily jabbed the screen before she brought it to her ear. “Yeah, Jonny? Sorry to bother you, Doug’s at Little Lights and he won’t leave. Can you please come handle him?” Macy stopped and sighed. All the anger draining out of her face left nothing but sadness. “Thanks, Jonny. I’ll tell him but I know he won’t listen.”
Macy disconnected and looked at her ex-husband. “Your brother said he’s busy so he’s sending a unit. He’s instructed them to arrest you if you’re still here when they arrive.”
Jonny Spencer was this fucktard’s brother? Alec gave the man a onceover and couldn’t see it, not even a hint of similarity.
“This isn’t over, Macy,” Doug fumed, “It never will be.”
“Boy don’t I know it. It never ends with you,” Macy whispered.
Fuck, there was something in Macy's tone that gutted Alec.
Resignation.
Defeat.
Anger was fast bubbling up and it was becoming increasingly harder for Alec to keep his peace. The very act of remaining silent went against everything in him. But Macy was not his business. And he was barely keeping his own shit straight. Alec wasn’t in the right frame of mind or place in his life where he could step in.
Without another word, Doug stalked out the door. Macy sucked in a deep breath before she turned and jolted to a stop.
The pain and fear in her eyes were so fresh when her gaze hit Alec’s it nearly took him to his knees—and suddenly Alec didn’t give two fucks he was drowning in his own personal hell. He didn’t care Macy wasn’t his business. He didn’t care he shouldn’t get involved.
No woman should ever look like she was so scared she wanted to run and hide. And that was exactly what Macy looked like—whatever Doug had done to her he’d put the fear of God in her.
So with all of that, Macy Spencer just hit his radar and became a priority.
3
Holy crap.
Crap, crap, crap.
That just happened, and I’d forgotten Alec was there to witness it.
Which was kind of a good thing—now I’d had a witness. But on the flip side, it was a bad, bad, thing because I couldn’t lose my job.
Forget the fact that I was supremely embarrassed. Something I was used to being. I was used to being the laughingstock of Cliff City. I was used to people staring at me while thinking I was the biggest fool on the planet because mostly I was. Or I had been for many years. Then I’d wised up and divorced Doug’s lying, cheating ass but I’d waited too long.
I’d held on to my marriage while Doug had drug me through hell. I held on while he got laid—did it regular, and did it in a way that everyone knew. Someone had to be living under a rock to miss Doug out every weekend fucking women that were not his wife—meaning he wasn’t fucking me but he was nailing every short skirt in the county.
But in the three years since the ink had dried on my divorce decree, Doug had made it his mission to make my life misery. It was a new, different kind of hell than what I’d lived in while I was married to his dirty ass.
Now he fucked with me through my children and he never missed an opportunity to stick it to me.
“Macy?” Alec called and I did my best not to flinch.
“I’m so sorry, Alec. I swear that doesn’t ever happen here. He’s never come here, not once. I’d never ever allow him around any of the kids,” I rushed out, hoping he’d believe me.
“How’d he get in?”
Shit. I was so stupid. So, so dumb.
“Right before you came, the women from Nearly New came in to pick up a donation. Since Jocelyn was still here, I unlocked the door so they could haul the donations out. I must’ve forgotten to lock it again. I’ve never done that either, Alec, promise. I was playing with Joss and—”
“You got problems with him?” Alec interrupted me.
Problems? That was laughable. Problems didn’t begin to cover what I had with my ex-douchebag.
“No,” I lied.
“You know what I do for a living, right?” he weirdly asked.
“Um…yeah,” I confirmed because I had his work information on Jocelyn’s enrollment forms.
I knew Alec worked with Nixon Swagger. Which made Alec some sort of PI or bounty hunter or some other kind of badass. I wasn’t completely in the kn
ow about what Gemini Group did but I’d heard rumors. I’d read the paper, therefore I knew Nixon had taken down the old sheriff after Dillinger almost killed McKenna Swagger. I’d also heard about Gemini Group finally putting a stop to Reggie Coleman’s criminal behavior. And just last year Gemini Group was back in the paper when they helped take down a drug ring. So even though I didn’t really know what Alec did, I knew.
“Then you know, if you got problems I can help you.”
Damn, that was nice of Alec to offer. But there was no way I was asking for help. Not with Doug. Not after I’d put myself in the position I now found myself in. It was bad enough I had to call on Doug’s brother Jonny. But I figured Jonny didn’t care, mainly because he loved his niece and nephew and knew Doug had been a shit husband and was still a shit father.
That meant asking Jonny to step in when Doug was in my face was one thing. Asking anyone else for help was another.
“Really. It’s just a misunderstanding. Doug has his weekends mixed up.”
“Didn’t—”
“Alec, please, it’s nothing. I’m really sorry he came here. Even sorrier you and Jocelyn were here. I’ll have a word with Jonny and he’ll remind Doug Little Lights is off-limits. You have my word it will never happen again.”
Alec was looking at me like he didn’t believe me. Not any of it. I didn’t need any more trouble, and one look at Alec told me he was the kind of trouble I couldn’t take on.
Doug was a dick, a loud, foul-mouthed asshole, who was all bluster.
Alec was nowhere near a dick and it only took a glance at the man and you knew he wasn’t about bluster and being loud—he was no bark and all bite.
It was time to put an end to this.
“Listen, I have to go get my kids. Again, I promise that will never happen again.”
“Right. Take care of yourself, Macy.”
It wasn’t until after I’d picked Caleb up from little league football practice and Rory up from her after-school program and we were home that I thought about Alec and his reaction to Doug. Alec hadn’t brought up my negligence, he hadn’t questioned Jocelyn’s safety while she was in my care—he’d been concerned about me.
Alec's Dream Page 2
