by A. S. Oren
My words won't get through to Jericho. I've tried to get him to hear me, but it hasn't worked. I'm going to have to show him.
He sits on one of the pure-white loveseats, one arm perched on the back, while his legs stretch out in front of him. We study each other through the doorway. He hasn't changed out of his pyjamas. "Did you get in trouble when you got back?" I hang on the frame of my door. Unsure of what to do with myself right off the bat. I've never seduced anyone before; I'm not even sure how it’s done. I doubt movies are an accurate portrayal.
His brow comes together as his eyes stare at the way his old shirt slips off one of my bare shoulders. "What are you talking about?"
I let go of the door and take a few steps toward him. My arms sway from side to side. Sun god, I need your help right now. "Mirren was saying people get punished for leaving their teams behind, and that you have to return with the objective item as well as everyone who survived on your team.”
He shrugs and his grass green eyes turn their attention to the fireplace. “There wasn't even anyone at the entrance when I got here. I just let myself in and came here."
I keep the frown from my expression. He's lying. Why is he lying to me? "Perlow was there to meet us. He gave me the key we got and told me to keep it as a souvenir."
He nods. "You got back quicker than I thought you would. How?"
“We found one of those Knights, the one that had me wrapped in the vines, in the snow. He was about dead. He'd been slashed across the chest with an X. I saved him in the hopes he'd tell me what Minos did to me, but he said he didn't know anything, that only Minos knew what their true objective was."
Jericho's eyes still won't meet mine. "Do you think he was telling the truth?"
I shrug. "I don't know. I don't like him. He makes me feel bad."
His eyes meet mine finally. "What do you mean?"
I stand inches away from his legs. "When he touched me, it felt as if all my energy was being drained. He made the pain, everything, worse." My eyes wander to the window for a second. We still have a few more hours before I have to transform. Good, that will give us plenty of time.
"So the opposite of how your Fold makes you feel? Good, and pain free?"
I swallow, the scared bunnies in my stomach that want me to run. What if I suck at this whole trying to turn him on thing? I lean over him, my lips meet his in a simple, closed kiss before I straddle his legs and sit in his lap. "You make me feel good." His hands come up to hold my waist, as my hands rest on his chest. "I love you, Jer."
His fingers flex at my waist. This is when he normally says 'Anything for you. I love you too, Ava.' but the words haven't left his mouth yet. Instead, he kisses my nose before his soft lips touch mine. My eyes close as his tongue trails across my lower lip, and his hands inch up my body.
I open up for him. Maybe today, I'll go all the way. I want my first time to be with him. My fingers grasp at his shirt, before I put my hands at the hem and slip them underneath the material. His hot skin warms my fingers; I guess the cold from outside still hasn't left my bones yet.
Something hard presses against my butt through my yoga pants. Is that what I think it is? I've never made out with one of the guys while this close to them. His hand goes up to my chest and cups one of my breasts through my shirt. A twinge of pleasure moves through my chest and down to my stomach. I moan.
The hand moves, causing more good sensations. None of them, up to this point, have been ballsy enough to feel me up like this.
I break the kiss to pull his shirt over his head. He watches as I toss the shirt off to the side. "We've never gone this far before," he mutters.
"I know." I place a hand over his where it still rests on my chest. "But, I want to keep going."
I don't give him a chance to say more as I deepen the kiss. My butt moves against the bump in his pants. He groans, and the hand on my waist grips tighter.
I smile into the kiss. I did something right. My hands explore the lean lines of muscles that have only recently made an appearance on his stomach. He'll have defined abs soon.
He breaks the kiss now. "I can't do this."
My heart races. "What? Why? Did I do something wrong?" Maybe I wasn't supposed to move my butt like that. Oh dear Sun god, what if I hurt him?
He shakes his head. "No, you're doing everything right." He holds me as he stands, before placing me back on the sofa.
I ring out the bottom of my shirt. "Then why did we stop? I want to go further with you."
He runs a hand over his copper hair. "That's just it. I can't be your first, Ava."
I swallow hard. "Why? Shouldn't this be my choice?"
"What if I hurt you by accident? You know what they say. My touch can't make you feel better. Your first time with me would suck."
I shake my head and stand. I take his hand in mine. "I don't care about a little pain."
"I do!" He steps back from me, almost tripping over the glass coffee table. "I care. You don't understand, you never will. The jolt you feel with the others, the good, warm feelings they give, that's what I feel every time we touch. And to know I can't make you feel the same, that I can't take away your chronic pain,; it kills me inside, Avalon. It kills me. Yesterday, when you transformed to save us from the avalanche, you kissed that Mathis guy over me. I know you did it because he makes you feel good, as if the pain never existed. You didn't turn to me because you knew that a kiss from me would have been worthless."
I grasp at my hair. "Stop talking nonsense! You do make me feel good, Jericho! Your kisses and touch may not have that special power to them, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to jump you all the time. I love the way you kiss me. You've always done it just right. When we were at Edgar's, I'd always climb into your bed last for cuddles because, with you, I feel safe and your embrace lulls me to sleep. I’ll never touch Dante again. I’ll never bring anyone else into my Fold. It’ll just be you, Den, and Mav from now on. Just like it’s always been. I promise.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t take that away from you. I can’t stand by knowing you could be more fulfilled with them. I know the truth now, and I know you’ll never be as happy and content with me, as you are with them.”
I pace now. “What are you saying, Jer? Because I’m having a hard time understanding. Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said? You do fulfil me.”
“Not in the way I should. I’m saying I can’t do this for the rest of my life. I can’t just stand idly by and watch other guys make you feel good when I can’t do the same. I don’t think I should hang out with you anymore. I wasn’t chosen for you by the Fates, I shouldn’t be around and take you away from someone who was.”
I grab at my chest, it aches. My legs fail as I collapse onto the couch. “This is some kind of sick prank, right? We’ve been together for eight years. You can’t walk away like that. I don’t care what the fucking Fates want. You’re mine, and I’m yours. We’re supposed to die old together. You, me, Paden, and Maverick.”
His lower lip quivers. “Not anymore.” He steps away from the couches and goes toward the door.
I stand and stagger to get in front of him, blocking him from leaving. “Jer, don’t do this. Please, I love you.”
He sighs and steps forward to kiss me on the forehead. “I love you, too. It’s because I love you that I have to step away. You won’t have to worry about my feelings anymore when you find a member of your Fold.”
He steps around me and opens the door. “You’ll be happier this way. This is the right choice for the both of us.”
He closes the door, and I fall onto the carpet. I glance around; did this really just happen? His shirt still lays in a crumpled pile by the fireplace. I wanted him to be my first. How is this happening? Why does the Fold thing matter to him so much?
CHAPTER THREE
"Miss Radcliffe, are you listening?" I blink as reality falls back down onto my shoulders. What class am I in? English II? I must've zoned out, third time today. All I want to do is go b
ack to my dorm and curl up under the covers.
"Sorry, I didn't hear the question." Damn it, why did I have to zone out?
The teacher sighs and clears his throat. "What is the significance of the yellow wallpaper to the narrator?"
At least I read ahead last night before I changed. I didn't listen to him reading the short story at all. "The yellow wallpaper takes on a representation of the narrator’s mind. How she's losing her grip on reality and is feeling trapped within her marriage and her life."
He frowns. This teacher always hates it when he doesn't catch one of us off guard; it's his favourite thing to do.
"Close enough. Does anyone want to elaborate more on Miss Radcliffe's thoughts?"
The bell tolls before he can call on anyone else. "All right, get out of here. Don't forget you have those essays due on Shakespeare tomorrow. I don't give out extensions, so don't even think about asking, Mr. Knotts."
"I'm done," I mutter to my P.A. The laptop shifts back into its card form, and I stick it in my front pocket. I've also been done with the essay for tomorrow since the day he assigned it. It wasn't hard at all.
I glance at Jericho as he stands from his desk to leave the room. It's been three days since he broke things off. He hasn't said a word to me or the guys; hasn't even come within twenty feet of me unless he has to for a class we share together.
My tongue inches out to break the dry seal on my lips. Just call out to him. He's had time to cool off. "Jer!"
He looks at me for a split second before his eyes turn back to stare at the floor, and he walks out of the room.
That's what we've been reduced to in a matter of days? Awkward looks and him avoiding me at all costs?
"Avvi! Ready to go to lunch?" Amr stands at the door of the class, his boyfriend and member of his Fold, Horace King, at his side. His wire rimmed glasses glint in the fluorescent lights of the room. I can't even see his green eyes, the same shade as Jericho’s.
I fall back into my chair and shake my head. "No," I sob.
Amr rushes to my side. "Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
I haven't told anyone about what Jericho did. When they ask where he's been, I just don't open my mouth. Paden and Maverick may have figured it out, but the others aren't close enough to Jericho to press him for answers.
"My heart hurts." I press a hand to my chest as I cry harder. Why can't I stop crying? I'm not weak.
Amr kneels in front of my legs and pulls me into a hug. "Shh, it will be okay."
"I feel lost, Amr. I don't know what I should be doing with myself. Why doesn't he understand?"
He rubs my back. "Who? What happened? Talk to me."
"Jericho, he doesn't want to be a part of the group anymore because he isn't a true member of my Fold."
"Oh Sun god. He'll come around. Come on, let’s get some cookies or something at lunch, the sweets will help you feel better."
I shake my head. "I think I just want to go back to my dorm and lie down. I don't have art until two."
He pulls back from me and frowns. "I don't know if I should leave you alone or not."
I roll my eyes. "I'm not going to do anything stupid, Amr. I just want to close my eyes against world for an hour."
I stand, and he follows. "Horace and I will come check on you before your next class."
I nod and leave them. Bed, bed is what I need right now.
My eyes snap open as the pain of the transformations starts. I scramble off my bed and crawl to the centre of the room. I don't want to break my bed, and though it will disappear afterward, I don't want to get blood or torn up flesh on it either.
When did night come? I was only supposed to sleep for an hour before my last class. I missed dinner, too. I hardly remember crawling into my bed.
I scream as the golden scales rip their way through my skin. I'll never get used to this new transformation. My body jerks every which way as it changes size and the angle of my joints, before I lie on the floor out of breath. At least this large room can house my form; though, I wish I had some sort of cushions to lie on. I'm stuck in this room the rest of the night since I didn't wake up soon enough to go out onto my perch.
"Are you okay?" Amr's voice calls.
I look to my doorway. He stands just on the edge of it. I bet he could come in here if he wanted to. He's a relative. The alarms shouldn't go off for him, even if he's a boy. Paden, Maverick, Horace, and Dante hover behind him as well. There would be a problem if they crossed the line. I don't care though; I want them all in here. My time for being alone wants to come to an end.
Light from the living room shines into my room. The flesh and blood begin to disappear into nothing as I stare at it. I'll live, I always do. You guys can come in here. I'm in my dragon form, and I can't change back until the sun shows its face again. What is Perlow going to accuse us of?
They inch into the room, but no alarm sounds. I guess they really are watching us. They know when I'm in my dragon form and when I'm not, or the whole ward thing was bogus to try and scare me into keeping the guys out of my bed.
I stand and adjust my body to lie on the floor like a cat, with my front claws curled and tucked underneath my chest.
"I thought your room was supposed to be warded or something? That’s what Perlow said at the school hearing before you came here. He gave the rules of what is and isn't okay now that there is a girl at the school." Dante takes a seat on the floor in front of me. Now I really wish I had some type of cushions in here.
Why don't you guys bring in the cushions from the couches, at least then you won't have to sit on this cold, hard floor.
Amr shakes his head as he sits down next to Dante, pulling Horace to sit on his thighs. "We're fine. Have your transformations always been that violent?”
Of course, I forgot; he's never seen me transform before. Why did he have to see it for the first time when it's even more disgusting than it was for most of my life?
“No, it's never looked like that before." Paden moves to leans against the wall behind himself with Maverick, who's hiding his face with his long hair. "Is that what you were talking about when you said they did something to you? You look so different from how you were before. Where did the black on your scales come from, and your wings? You've never had your angel wings while in dragon form."
I ruffle my angel wings as Paden's sapphire eyes pierce me with their stare. Yes. It's also a thousand times more painful than it has ever been. I'd give up my magic if it meant I could have my old transformation back. Why are you hiding your face, Mav?
Amr and Dante glance back over their shoulders at Maverick, who still holds his long black hair and white forelock over the left side of his face. He stares at the ground.
What happened Maverick? Show me, or I'll get upset.
He sighs and looks up at me. With a flick, his hair moves out of his face and reveals a puffed up cheek and the beginnings of a black eye.
I snort with anger. Grey smoke trails out my nose, filling the air with the acrid scent of sulphur and burning paper. Who the fuck did that to you? Mirren?
He shakes his head. "No. It wasn't him. Don't worry about it. It's nothing to worry about. It will be healed in a few days."
Someone tell me what happened. Don't leave me in the dark.
Paden shakes his head. "No. It's not something you need to know about right now. Have you talked to Edgar or Perlow about what has happened to your shift? There has to be some way to fix it."
He speaks as the leader of the group. I won't be able to get anything out of him even if I beg. Haven't yet. I don't even know if they will be able to help. I think Minos dosed me with a mixture of something on his claw and his magic, hence the black marks on my scales. His scales were black, too. His magic felt sick. He isn't well. I think Rosemen is doing something to them, but I don't know what yet. I can just feel it. Everything may go back to normal once his magic runs its course through my system, but I don't remember how long that can take, when it was just a small bit.<
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"At least two weeks. That's what Miss Nezbit told us when it comes to magic bonding, but I don't know if that counts. You two didn't perform a marriage ritual or anything." Maverick bangs a fist against the wall. I've never seen him so worked up. What the hell happened before they came here?
Most certainly not to that degree, but we did exchange magic, even if it was against my will. It's been nearly four days; hopefully it won't go beyond ten. I hate every second of this form. It doesn't feel right.
Horace readjusts his glasses. "So this forced transformation has been happening to you your entire life?" It's the most he's said directly to me since we met three weeks ago.
