by Hamel, B. B.
“Anything for you, man,” he says. “Come on. Boss is busy right now, so you got time.”
“Good shit.” I notice Elias slip Luis some money, although I can’t see how much. Luis leads us into a kitchen, and I realize that we’re going into the back of a really nice high-end restaurant.
I follow Elias out into the main room. He takes a quick left and we sit down at the table right outside the kitchen. Luis pokes his head out and nods before heading back into the kitchen.
I stare at Elias before laughing. “What is this?”
“Just a little favor Luis owes me,” he says.
“You know, for a guy that doesn’t love being the son of the mayor, you sure act like the son of the mayor.”
He laughs at that, and I feel a little relieved. I was worried he might be insulted.
“I guess I take after my father in some ways,” he says. “We both like people.”
“How do you know Luis?”
“Did some work on his bike and did it for cheap.”
“That was nice of you.”
“Nah,” he says, grinning. “Always do a cook a favor. It always pays off.”
I laugh at him and find myself leaning forward as he talks, looking into his eyes. He asks me about how the office has been lately, although he doesn’t outright talk about his father. I tell him about my coworkers, Marnie in particular. Luis comes out not long later with three plates, one for each of us, and another for the table. The center plate has a caprese salad on it, which is startlingly good, and we each get a smaller portion of cacio e pepe.
“Enjoy,” Luis says before leaving.
I take a bite and my eyes go wide. “Holy crap,” I say, mouth still full. “This is amazing.”
Elias laughs. “I know, right? Like I said, always do a cook a favor.”
We both eat mostly in silence. I don’t have anything to say right now, except to talk about how good this pasta is. It’s so simple and yet so complex. I have no clue how Luis did it, but I’m totally blown away. I don’t mean to, but I end up eating the whole plate.
Elias smiles at me over his water. “I’m glad you liked it,” he says.
I let out a sigh. “I’m going to be really unproductive for the rest of the day,” I admit to him.
“That’s okay. I doubt Toddy will notice.”
I grin a little. “He’s not even in the office today.”
He sighs. “Of course not.”
I laugh, and there are a bunch of stories I could tell him about the mayor, but I get the feeling that they won’t come off as funny. Most people love my hilarious Toddy stories, but I suspect his son will see the tragedy in them instead of the comedy.
“I’m glad you came with me today,” he says, leaning back in his seat. “I got the feeling you didn’t want to see me again after last time.”
I shake my head quickly. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything, you know?”
“I know,” he says softly, and suddenly leans forward again. “But what if I want to?”
My heart jumps in my chest. “What do you mean?”
“What if I want to do something, Alexa?”
I bite my lip and have to look away. I can’t keep looking into those beautiful eyes, or else I’ll say something totally stupid and ruin this moment.
“I can’t tell you what to do,” I say softly.
“My whole life, I’ve watched my father fuck up,” he says to me. “Fucked up with my mother, fucked up with this town, and fucked up with me. One shit thing after the next, and you know what? That’s the only father I’ve ever known.”
I take a breath and slowly let it out before meeting his gaze again. It’s pained but intense, not ashamed, not breaking away.
“I won’t do that,” he continues. “I’m not going to fuck up, you understand me? That baby’s mine, and I’m going to be here for you no matter what. I’m not going to be a father like my own father.”
“You don’t have to say that.” My voice is practically a whisper, but my heart’s beating so fast. I don’t even know if I want to keep this baby. I’ve been so sure that I want to give it up for adoption, but now… with his eyes on mine…
“I know I don’t, but I want to. I’m not going anywhere, Alexa. You’re not getting rid of me.”
I take a breath and let it out. “I’m still giving the baby up for adoption.”
He nods slowly. “We’ll see.”
I give him a sharper look. “I am.”
He just smiles but doesn’t say anything.
I look away, both angry and excited. I want him to tell me that it’s totally my choice, but I like that he’s here, standing up for what he thinks is right. He’s the father of this baby, even if he didn’t mean to be. And now he’s doing what’s right. I respect him for it… and I want more of him.
Luis comes out, breaking the moment. We gush over the meal, and Elias tries to slip him more money, but he refuses it. Luis cleans off the table and we stand up, heading out back through the kitchen after thanking Luis profusely.
“Ready to go back?” he asks me.
I groan. “Not at all.”
“Too bad. Get on.” He tosses me the helmet with a big smile.
I slip it over my head, smelling him all over again, as I climb onto the back of the bike. I’m more confident this time, and I actually let myself start to enjoy the ride.
I don’t know what I’m doing, falling into this. He’s the son of the mayor, my boss, and he’s trouble. He doesn’t want to be like his father, but he’s still a stranger, and he still owes me nothing. If I were smart, I’d keep my distance, and get through this pregnancy the best I can. Then I can give the baby up for adoption and keep living my life. I can’t afford to get bogged down with this man. I can’t afford any mistakes.
And yet, as I watch him ride off after dropping me in front of city hall, I know I already made a mistake. I slept with him, got pregnant by him, and now I got onto the back of his bike and let him take me out to lunch. I stared at him, thought about his body against mine, his lips on mine. I keep making mistake after mistake and it keeps on feeling good. It keeps feeling so fucking good.
I don’t know why these mistakes make me smile. That’s probably why they’re so dangerous. I need to control myself, or else I’ll end up falling deeper into this than I ever expected or wanted.
As Elias drives off, I can’t help but notice something. Two big, black SUVs pull out behind him, almost like they were waiting for him. I frown for a second, since it’s pretty weird, but I just shake my head. City hall is always pretty busy, it’s probably just a coincidence.
I head back inside, hoping nobody saw who just dropped me off, since I don’t need any more rumors flying around about me and the mayor’s bad boy son.
6
Elias
I’m practically smiling the whole way back to my shop.
I haven’t been on a date like that in a long time. I don’t normally have to take women out to get them undressed, but in this case I actually wanted to spend time with her. For once I met a girl that I actually want to be around, not just because I want to fuck her, but because I find her interesting.
Also, because I want to get to know my baby, and to be a part of its life… but one thing at a time. She wants to put the baby up for adoption, and I can’t blame her. But I’ll convince her otherwise. Hell, maybe I’ll adopt the baby myself and raise him or her right. I don’t know how it works, but I’ll figure it out somehow.
I feel happy and idealistic as I pull my bike into my shop’s lot. I park off to the side, and I don’t notice the big black SUV pull in behind me until I’m off the bike and walking toward the doors.
The SUV pulls in and parks. Two guys step out, both of them big dudes wearing dark clothes, and I recognize them both. My pulse immediately jumps into my throat as they walk toward me, and I know what this is about.
“How’s the mayor’s son doing today?” the older of the two guys calls out. His
name is Vito, and he’s muscle for the Costa crime family, the kind of guy that’s been breaking skulls since before he could walk. He’s a hulking man, getting heavy in his middle age, but no less dangerous.
The guy behind him is named Jimmy. He’s another mafia muscle man, but younger than Vito, and probably more dangerous. Vito’s been around and he knows the score, but Jimmy’s a wildcard. I’ve heard stories of him breaking knees just because he felt like it, and of him going too far and killing guys just by accident.
I watch them walk toward me, ice in my veins. “What do you two want?” I ask.
“Is that how you greet emissaries of the old man?” he asks.
I flinch. The “old man” is Raymond Costa, and the implication is that these two were sent directly by him. That’s worse than if some captain decided to take it upon himself to make some trouble for me. At least Marko could help with that. But if I’m on Raymond’s radar, I might be fucked.
“I don’t need this,” I say to them. “I’m not involved in Toddy’s shit.”
Jimmy grins at me. “You’re his fucking son, you idiot. Of course you’re involved.”
Vito holds up a hand. “Sorry for my friend there, he’s a little hotheaded, you know how that is.” He gives me a tight smile. “Please, let’s go inside and discuss this.”
I stand there and weigh my options. I could turn them down, but that would probably just make it harder on me. If they want to come inside, they’re going to come inside. I could fight back, and maybe even win against these two, but then I’d definitely be inviting the ire of Raymond and the whole fucking crime family.
I know I don’t have much of a choice, so I nod tightly and lead the way. I hear Jimmy snicker behind me and I have the sudden, irrational urge to turn around and tell him to fuck off, but I hold my tongue.
This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with the mob. My father’s been involved with them for years, and my father’s not exactly a reliable guy. On top of that, I have a lot of friends in the mafia, or at least related to the mafia. When you’re in politics, or at least your dad is, then you can’t help but meet these people. Marko’s one of them, but there are others, although none as good a friend as Marko.
Unfortunately, I only know these two guys by reputation. I’ve been lucky enough not to meet them until now.
We head in through the front, past the front desk, and go back into the shop. If something happens, I don’t want it to happen up front, just in case someone wanders in by mistake.
Vito looks around, nodding to himself. “Nice place you got here,” he says. “I heard you were selling bikes to made guys, you know, but I didn’t expect this.” He walks up to the dragon bike and nods at it, grinning.
“It looks stupid,” Jimmy says.
Vito glares at him and sighs. “Jimmy, you got no fucking manners.”
Jimmy shrugs and wanders off, touching my tools, completely ignoring us.
Vito turns back to me, a big smile on his face. He’s trying to look friendly, which puts me off even more.
“I bet you know why we’re here, yeah?” Vito says to me. “Bad situation your old man’s in. Real bad situation.”
“I’m not involved,” I say again. “I told you outside. Me and my father don’t see eye to eye.”
He sighs. “See, that’s the thing. Even if you guys don’t get along, you’re still related, yeah? You’re still responsible.”
“Nobody’s responsible for the mayor.”
Vito shakes his head. “Nope, not true.” He turns back to the dragon bike. “How much one of these cost?”
“Why, you interested?”
“Yeah, sure, I love fuckin’ dragons.” He grins at me.
“Depends on the design, the specs, a lot of shit.”
“Ballpark it.”
“Twenty grand,” I say.
He whistles. “God damn.”
I shrug. “I do good work.”
“Clearly.” He crosses his arms. “I hear you been selling a lot of these. At twenty grand a pop, I bet you’re doing pretty good for yourself.”
I don’t like where this is going. “I can’t cover his debts,” I say. “I’m profitable, but I’m nowhere near that profitable.”
“Ah, see, that’s not what I hear.” He walks over to my tool bench and starts picking things up at random. “Look at all this shit. You got so many tools here, I bet it’s worth a fortune, right, Jimmy?”
“Right, Vito.”
I nearly jump. Jimmy’s voice comes from right behind me. I turn around to spot Jimmy holding a wrench and grinning at me. He suddenly swings it right into a pan full of nuts and bolts, sending it all flying onto the floor.
“See, you got money in here,” Vito says. “And we want money.”
He throws a bunch of tools off the bench. Jimmy grins and starts smashing his wrench into an open toolbox, sending screwdrivers and hammers and more flying to the ground.
Vito walks over to another bike I have in for repairs. He kicks it over, picks up a hammer, and starts smashing it.
Jimmy joins in, and I can’t do anything but watch the men smash up my workshop. What was once a relatively neat and orderly space is quickly turned into a fucking disaster zone. They break what can be broken, and they throw around what can’t. They smash up the bikes I have in for repair, finally finishing with the dragon bike. Jimmy takes great pleasure in this, kicking it over with a huge smile on his face, laughing as he slams his wrench into it over and over.
Finally, the place is a fucking wreck. Broken glass, scattered metal, tools everywhere, total fucking chaos. It looks like a hurricane tore through here, and nothing made it through unscathed.
Vito puts a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder to stop him. Both men are out of breath but smiling those creepy fucking smiles as Vito walks over toward me. He hands the hammer over and I take it from him.
“Raymond wants money,” he says. “Find some. Appease the old man. Don’t make us come back and do this shit again. It’s a good shop, you got a good thing going for you. It’s nothing personal.”
I grunt at that. I want to smash the claw of the hammer into his skull, but I hold back for the same reason that I didn’t stop them from smashing my shop. Fucking with them will only make things worse.
“Good luck,” Jimmy says, smiling maliciously as the two men leave back through the front.
I’m left there alone in the disaster of my shop. Clients’ bikes are wrecked and smashed, including that fucking dragon design. All of this is going to cost me a lot of money to fix, let alone my fucking time. I’m out of commission for weeks cleaning all this up and fixing it.
If those fuckers wanted money, they just made it a lot harder for me to get any.
I sit there and stare at the wreckage of my shop. I built this place with my bare hands and worked damn hard at it. Everything in this place exists because of my hard work, and now it’s getting smashed to shit because of my father’s stupid fucking mistakes. I’ve spent my whole goddamn life trying to steer clear of him, and still look at where it gets me.
I get up, walk over to the refrigerator, and grab a beer. Fortunately, it’s still working, although dented where Vito kicked it. I crack open my drink and wander back out front, not able to look at the mess any longer.
As I head up front, a strange thing happens. I lean up against the counter and look out the window, and I think about Alexa. I think about the baby growing inside of her, and about the way she laughs, the way she feels when I touch her, everything about her. Despite that mess back there, despite how fucked up I know fathers can be, I suddenly decide that I want to do better. I know I can do better, if given the chance.
No, not given. I have to take my chance if I’m going to get one at all. Alexa’s mine, and so is that baby. I’m going to give them a better life than my fucking father ever did for me, no matter what happens.
I drink my beer and resolve myself to the future, no matter how fucked it may seem.
7
Alexa<
br />
I want to return the favor to Elias, so I decide to surprise him at his shop for lunch. It’s safer to meet him there anyway, since I can’t really have him coming to city hall, and besides, I have fun with him. As much as I hate to admit it, he makes me feel good.
Feeling good with him is dangerous. I can’t let myself forget that. I’m pregnant with his child, with a child that shouldn’t exist because I was told that I couldn’t get pregnant. And now I’m in a horrible position, with no money and a baby inside of me and a handsome stranger that wants to get involved. I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t really know him, that he’s the son of the notorious mayor, and that he could seriously be bad news if I let him.
So it’s strange when I find myself walking into his shop, a pizza box in my hands. I figured pizza is the great equalizer, everyone loves pizza, and I’ve been craving it lately.
The front of the shop is empty. “Elias?” I call out, but I don’t hear anything. The door was open and the lights are on, but I don’t know where he is.
I put the box down on the front counter. “Elias?” I call out again. I hear something in the back, the clattering of a metal tool on the ground. I head toward it, biting my lip. “It’s Alexa. Are you back here?”
I step through the hallway and into the shop, and I take a sharp breath when I get a look at it. Stuff is absolutely everywhere. The place is a mess, bikes are tipped over and smashed, broken pieces litter the ground. It looks like Elias let an angry bull loose.
He steps out from behind one of the fallen bikes, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Hey,” he says. “You surprised me.”
“Sorry,” I say, staring around me. “What happened?”
He grins a little. “My fucking fathered happened.”
I cock my head at him. “The mayor did this?”
“Not exactly.” He stretches a little and sighs. “I assume you’re here to admit that I’d make a great father and to beg for me to stay in your life forever?”
I roll my eyes at him. “No. I did bring pizza, though.”
