by Hamel, B. B.
“They’re trying to steal a child like he’s a car or something,” I say to her. “How can you stand being around people like that?”
“They’re not bad people,” she says to me, eyes flashing. “You don’t know them, what they’ve been through. You can’t judge me and my family.”
“They’re trying to steal my son away from me,” I say softly.
“He’s not your son,” she says, but quickly stops herself. I’m about to stand up and kick her out, but she raises her hands. “Wait, please, I’m sorry. I lost my temper.”
I sink back into my chair. “You have thirty seconds before I call the police.”
She nods a little. “I just came to say I’m sorry. I know what my husband’s doing is wrong. If you leave the city, I think you’ll be okay.”
I stare at her for a second. “Are you telling me to run?”
“Yes,” she says, nodding. “And I brought you some money, to help you out.”
I gape as she pulls an envelope from her purse. She passes it over and I stare at a ton of twenties, all shoved in there. I hold it in my hands for a second, but I shake my head.
“I can’t take this,” I say. “It’s blood money. I can’t take it.”
“Please, take it,” she says. “It’s my money. I work part-time as a waitress.”
I pause. “Seriously?”
“Sure,” she says. “It’s actually kind of fun. Anyway, that’s my tip money, so Mario doesn’t know about it.”
I stare at the money again. It’s a lot of money, and if it’s really her tips, this is probably, well, it’s probably all of it.
“I still don’t feel good taking this.” I hold the envelope out again but she stands.
“I won’t take it back. Burn it if you want to, I don’t care. I just came… I just came to say sorry. And to give you that.”
She looks at me with a frown before turning to the door and quickly walking over. I stand and follow her, not sure what to say. She pauses with her hand on the knob and looks back at me.
“I really am sorry, honey,” she says. “Please, take the boy and go, leave the city. I don’t think Mario will bother you guys.”
“What if we don’t go?” I ask her.
She shrugs. “I think he’ll kill you both.”
I watch as she leaves without another word, shutting the door behind her. I stand in the living room alone, anger and rage and sadness all ringing through me.
All of this is happening because I was born into a fucked up, dysfunctional, broken fucking family. Now they’re going to kill me if I stay in this city. I didn’t plan on staying anyway, but it still stings to hear it out of my own aunt’s mouth.
“We should get going,” Connor says from the top of the stairs.
I look up at him, and it’s amazing how one second can be the best moment of your life, and the next can be the worst.
He comes down the steps. I meet him halfway, and he hugs me, holding me tight, right there on the staircase. I don’t cry, because I’m done crying for these people. I’m done with all of this.
“I’m ready,” I say softly to him. “I’m so fucking ready.”
“Good.” He tips my chin up to him. “I love you, Leah. I’m going to take care of you. I promise.”
“I love you, too.” It feels so good to finally say it out loud.
It’s been true for a while now. I’ve loved him ever since he came into my life and changed it completely. I’ve loved him ever since he saved me and Ryan, kept us away from the Gallos, kept us safe. I’ve learned so much from this man and his son, and now I want to be a part of their family for real.
“You’ll like it in California,” he says after a short silence. “We’ll start a new life there. We’ll have a real family.”
“Yeah,” I say softly. “Yeah, we will.”
He hugs me tight again before we kiss softly and head upstairs. We help Ryan pack his things, and an hour later, we’re leaving Philadelphia. As we head down the turnpike, driving fast from the place where I was born, I don’t feel any regrets. I don’t feel anything at all but happiness and love every time I look over at Connor or back at Ryan.
This is the freest I’ve ever been. I’m floating on a cloud, with the man I love and the boy I want to raise as my own. I think about Harper briefly, and I’m happy she left Ryan with me. I’m happy she blew into my life and changed it so much.
Because it led me to Connor and to this. I reach over and take his hand. I squeeze it. He glances over at me and grins.
I grin back at him and I finally feel like I’m home.
26
Leah
Two Years Later
Michael looks up at me with his big blue eyes and smiles. “Mom,” he says.
I laugh and pick him up. “That’s right, big man,” I say. “I’m your mommy.”
He laughs as I toss him up into the air. Michael’s just over one year old, and although he was conceived in Philadelphia, he doesn’t know anything about that city.
I’ve made sure of it. Ever since we came out to Arcata, I’ve put Philly behind us. We were afraid of the Gallos at first, but after two years of hearing nothing about them, we’ve pretty much moved on.
Although Connor still keeps a gun in the house, and we make sure we arm the security system every night. Some paranoia may never go away.
“Ryan,” I call out, walking into the back yard. It’s a nice yard with a big brown fence all around it. Ryan’s sitting in the dirt, playing with our black lab, Rocky. I’m sure I’ll have to clean grass stains out of his clothes, but that’s okay. Grass is easier to get out than blood.
“Mom!” Ryan scrambles to his feet and comes running over. I laugh as he takes Michael from my arms. “Come on, little brother,” he says. “We’ll go play.”
I laugh again and he takes Michael over to where Rocky’s lounging in the sun. The two boys torture the poor dog while I sit down on a chair in the sun, stretching my legs and watching them play.
It was a struggle out here at first, but it’s gotten better. Connor sold his house from afar, which helped us buy this place. He got a new job and he’s even thinking about starting another business using some of the contacts from his old place. I work part-time but mostly I just watch the boys, which isn’t something I ever thought I’d be doing.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a lot of hard work, but it feels good. I feel like I finally have a purpose. I used to toil away as a nurse, working crazy long hours for people that didn’t care about me one way or another. I busted my butt to try and make them comfortable and even to save their lives sometimes.
My boys though, they actually love me. They care when I work hard to make their lives easier. Sure, they’re little kids and can be big brats sometimes, but they’re family and I feel so much better being around them than I ever did working as a nurse.
I smile to myself, looking up at the sky. It is nice to get out a few hours a week though, I can’t even pretend otherwise.
“How are the little monsters?”
I look over my shoulder as Connor walks out toward me. I smile at him and he bends over to kiss me softly on the lips. “They’re good,” I say. “Creating more laundry problems for me.”
“That’s what little boys do best,” he says, sitting down next to me.
“Tell me about it.” I sigh. “You can do this load.”
“Gladly.” He leans over and kisses me again and I laugh.
Our house is a little bungalow, barely enough room for all four of us, but it’s like heaven for us. We have big trees in the back yard, lots of clean grass, and privacy. I can’t ask for anything more.
“Are you nervous?” he asks me.
I shake my head. “Not really.”
“You haven’t seen them in almost two years.”
I sigh. “I know. But you’ll be here. And we have a family now.”
“Yeah, we do.”
“Plus, they had a good reason to not come to our wedding.”
&nbs
p; “Yeah. I guess a threat from a homicidal maniac is a good reason.”
I laugh a little. “I think so.”
He shrugs a little and shades his eyes as he looks out over at the boys.
We got married a month into coming to Arcata. We invited my parents, but my mom told me that she felt too afraid to follow us out here, since she thought she was getting threatening calls from the Gallo family. Nothing came of that, since my mom and dad are both still alive and well, so I think she might have been imagining it. Still, it was a pretty good excuse.
Except they haven’t met their actual grandson yet. He’s been alive for over a year, and they haven’t been out to visit. I think they’ve been afraid, but I finally convinced them.
I don’t really want to see them, if I’m being honest. I’ve moved on from all that by now. But my family comes first, and my boys need to meet their grandparents, even if their grandparents don’t care about them.
I lean against Connor’s shoulder and he nudges me a little. “Look, we can skip it entirely,” he says to me. “Blow them off, go on a trip. We can go camping again.”
I grin at him. “Last time we went camping, you left some food out and a freaking bear almost killed us.”
“There weren’t any bears,” he grumbles, but he did leave food out.
“No, I can’t do that. I’ll be fine. We’ll have a normal time, pretend like nothing crazy happened, and move on with our lives.”
“That’s the dream.” He grins at me and kisses me again. “Or we could just go upstairs and fuck all afternoon.”
I blush a little bit. “What about the boys?”
He shrugs. “They’ll be fine. Rocky can watch them.”
“I like the way you think.”
He laughs and we kiss one more time before I lean back in my chair, stretching one more time.
Things with Connor haven’t slowed down. I think we’re getting ready to have a third baby, or at least it’s looking like that based on the way we’ve been having sex lately. It’s never ending and always amazing, and I don’t know how I got so lucky with a guy like him.
Sometimes I think about his life before me, with Harper and baby Ryan, but I don’t get sad about that anymore. All I know is, we have a nice life out here, comfortable and cozy and happy. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
“I should get going,” I say, standing up. “You’re on duty, dad.”
“Thanks, mom,” he says. “I’ll make sure they don’t ruin their clothes.”
I shrug a little bit, squeezing his shoulder. “I don’t mind. You’re cleaning it, remember?”
He laughs and I grin at him as I disappear into the house.
I get changed, get into the car, and head out. I’m a little early, but that’s okay. I’m not in a rush to get anywhere, and I won’t mind sitting in the cell phone lot, reading on my phone. It’ll be nice to have some alone time, although I’m already looking forward to getting back.
It’ll be nice to sit outside with my parents and introduce them to my world. They’ll see how I’ve grown, how my family has grown. We’re the real thing, a real family, despite how difficult things were first. Our life is so different now out here compared to how it was in Philadelphia. Things are slower, more comfortable, happier.
I can’t wait to show them that. I can’t wait to see our life through their eyes, at least a little bit. Because as far as I can tell, our life is perfect.
Well, maybe not perfect, but as perfect as any life can get. I have my boys, my dog, my home. I have my health and my happiness and some of the best sex of my life. My parents don’t need to know about that last part, but everything else they’ll see.
I’m finally proud of myself and all the things around me, and I hope my parents are proud of me too. I want to show off. I want them to see how happy I am.
All of my worry slowly evaporates as I get closer to the airport. I’m not afraid to see them and I’m not afraid to have them see me, because I’m doing great.
I’m doing better than great. I’m doing perfect.
* * *
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His Perfect Baby
1
Emma
I have never in my life been surrounded by so many nerds and I have never in my life felt so at home.
Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, or at least the part about feeling at home. There are a ton of nerds here, including me, considering this is a conference on autonomous vehicles.
That’s right, self-driving cars. It’s a lot more than that, but the place is really buzzing with the recently approved Envoy Mark 1, the first commercially available self-driving car in the world. It’s hitting streets soon, and the inventor and CEO of the Envoy company is here at this conference to talk it up.
I have only one goal here. After four years of study, of being the only girl in engineering courses, of dealing with brain-dead asshole guys making comments about how girls can’t do math, all of that garbage, my only goal now is to meet David Carlson and get on his team.
Maybe that sounds a little silly. I’m supposedly all about female empowerment, but all I want is to meet some dude. I get it, not exactly burning my bra here, but whatever. The Envoy is the most interesting self-driving car and I want to be a part of that team, and to get there, I need to meet the young CEO himself.
I spot him for the first time during a lecture he gives on the regulation problems and ethical dilemmas facing self-driving cars. I barely hear anything he says, because I’m too busy staring at his handsome face, full lips, thick hair, tall frame, light blue eyes. He’s handsome, easily the most attractive man in this whole room, and he’s rich as hell and brilliant, to top it all off. I don’t know how he got so lucky, but the man is a genetic marvel, practically a freak of nature. I knew he was handsome, since I’ve seen pictures and interviews, but seeing him in person is a totally different game.
Still, I keep it together. I bide my time. There’s a meet-and-greet tonight at a bar nearby and I know he’s supposed to be there, or at least my super-secret source tells me that’s where he’ll be.
I get to the bar early and order a glass of wine. I sit on a stool in the corner of the room, watching as more and more nerds fill the place up. It’s actually pretty crowded by the time eleven rolls around, and I’m guessing my super-secret source wasn’t so super or secret after all. It’s a guy I met on Reddit who claims he works at Envoy, and I’m starting to think he went around telling every single person alive. To think, I put up with a week of flirting and one dick pic to get this info, and apparently it’s not worth anything.
I drink my second glass of wine and as midnight gets closer, I’m starting to despair. I don’t think I’ll ever have another chance to run into David, and if I can’t go through the man himself, I’m practically screwed. Envoy is notoriously hard to get hired at through conventional means, which is why I’m taking this unconventional route.
When I finish my second glass, I’m ready to give up. Just as I’m getting up, there’s a murmur in the crowd, and suddenly a group of ten people come into the bar. Like a rock star and his crew, David Carlson posts up at a booth and they start ordering drinks.
I’m freaking out a little bit. In my head, I’d play it cool, walk up to him, make some small talk, that sort of thing. Instead, in the actual moment, I’m panicking. I know, I know, we’re just in the same bar at the same time, so it shouldn’t be a big deal, right? It’s not like he’s some amazing celebrity. He’s just a rich tech genius that owns the company I totally love.
I realize suddenly that I need another d
rink. I get up and walk over to the bar. Fortunately there’s an empty stool at the very end that I grab, my back to David and his group. I ask for another glass of wine and just as it comes, I feel someone looming over my shoulder.
Ready to tell whoever it is to back off, I turn my head slightly and stare up at David Carlson’s face.
He’s not looking at me, so I quickly look away, and then I do a double-take. I can’t help myself. He’s that handsome, and it turns out that I’m a huge nerdy fangirl for this guy.
Right in the middle of my double-take, David looks down at me, and this wicked grin splits his face.
I blink and I swear my whole face turns red. I turn back to my wine and grab it, taking a long drink.
“Do I know you?” he asks me.
I try to force down that panic that threatens to overwhelm me. “I don’t think so,” I say. “But I, uh, I know you.”
“Creepy,” he says, still smiling.
“Uh, I mean, it’s because, you know. You’re David Carlson.”
“I know,” he says, holding out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Emma,” I say. “Emma May.”
“Emma May.” We shake hands briefly as he leans up against the bar next to me. “Really, though, I wasn’t trying a line on you. Were you at my lecture earlier?”
“I was,” I say, blinking. “It was really good, by the way.”
“Thanks. Yeah, I think I remember seeing you. Third row, far right?”
“That’s an impressive memory.”
“Well, not really. You were one of maybe three women in the crowd, and by far the most attractive.”
I feel that blush hit me again. “It’s a male-dominated field,” I say stupidly. He knows all this already, of course. I feel like a little girl and I’m totally blowing it. I don’t know what I expected to happen. I guess I thought we’d have a conversation and he’d be impressed with my natural intelligence but of course that’s an idiotic thing to think. That’s not how real life works at all.
