by Shyla Colt
“Moose?”
The sound of her shaken voice drew his attention to the woman at his side. “Listen, I’m sorry you had to see that. I’d never put my hands on you like that.” He shook his head.
“Are you drunk?” Joey asked.
“Fucking trashed.” His lips twitched upward.
“Why was she in here?” Joey said, crossing her arms under her breasts.
“To cause trouble. Crazy bitch was pissed I put her in her place earlier when she was talking shit,” he said. His head began to pound. He moaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shit, regretting that whiskey now.”
“I was gone like two hours. How did you manage to get this way?” she asked.
“Determination,” he said. He groaned as he stood up.
She huffed. “Just get into the bed okay?”
“Wait—what?” He shook his head and swayed on his feet.
“Lay down before you fall. ’Cause I can’t lift your heavy ass,” Joey said, ignoring them.
“I’m confused. You aren’t pissed?” He squinted against the light.
“I don’t know what I am. I came here because I didn’t like the way we left things. But it’ll hold.”
He shuffled to the bed and sank down. “Where are you going?”
“Home, you know the place I pay rent to stay at?”
Her short, clipped articulation made him groan.
She knelt on the bed and removed his boots, tossing them off the bed and something inside him shifted. They could function this way. He didn’t have to bend over completely and she could have some of the stability most women wanted. They could hold steady here.
Chapter Three
Joey sat on the edge of the bed long after Moose passed out. She knew the kind of life he lived and vaguely understood the commonplace violence and shady ethics. However, seeing him manhandle Red, no matter how much she deserved it, gave her pause. Would he turn on me?
She’d gotten what she wanted, only to question if it was truly the right thing for her. Had her mother been like Red, spreading her legs for the brothers, hoping to snag them? Nausea turned her stomach. He called her a sweetheart, labeled her his steady girl. It’d keep the vultures away and give her some standing with the casual flings. Is it enough?
The bed shifted, and Moose mumbled while reaching out to wrap his arms around her waist. He cuddled up to her back and she relaxed. She couldn’t walk away now and forever wonder what could’ve been.
“Mmm, Jo-Jo,” he said, smacking his lips.
The sleep-rusty sound melted her insides and reaffirmed her decision. She twisted around and ran her hand through his brownish-red strands, studying his face. In sleep, he lost some of his hardness. Don’t fall for this man, Josephine. What Jul and Shooter found is a once-in-a-lifetime deal. The walls began to close in, and she eased herself out of his grasp. Secret-keeping time needed to end. She stood on her feet and walked out of the room, grabbing her purse off the counter.
I should’ve punched that bitch in the mouth. The sight of the rumpled redhead, sprawled over Moose in nothing but her panties and bra had her thinking murder. If he hadn’t been so swift, he would’ve been breaking up a cat fight.
Joey slung her purse over her shoulder and nodded at the members as she stepped outside. In the car, she headed to the one person she knew wouldn’t judge her. Parked in front of the two-story blue house she’d grown up in, she reminisced.
It had never bothered her having a single mom. Ellen Brooks provided her with everything she needed. It had always been the just the two of them, and over time, she’d gotten over the pang in her chest when she saw friends with their fathers. Her mother worked damn hard for every penny, loved hard and instilled that same independence and work ethic in her. If Joey hadn’t found a box of old pictures when she turned twelve, she would never have known about her mother’s checkered past.
Ready to hear the pearls of wisdom, she opened the door and climbed out of the silver sedan. Mom didn’t sugarcoat and right now, she needed someone who could be frank. She opted to ring the doorbell instead of using a key. Her mother was single, not dead. The last thing she wanted to do was embarrass them both to death by walking in on something she’d rather not see.
A few minutes later, the porch light came on and the door opened to reveal her mother, clad in a black robe and a black-silk wrap around her head. “Josephine, what’s wrong?” Her mother’s large brown eyes were filled with concern, and her thin eyebrows were drawn to a point as she pulled her inside and locked the door.
“I just really need to talk, Mom. There are some things going on that have me feeling lost.”
Those full red lips so much like her own curved down. “This sounds like man trouble,” her mother observed.
“That’s exactly what it is,” Joey said. She laughed shaking her head. There was something to be said about a mother’s intuition.
Her mother smiled. “Come on in. I’ll put on a pot of coffee. You have the look of a woman already in deep waters,” her mother said. She wrapped an arm around Joey’s shoulders and guided her to the kitchen.
“He didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear?” Her mother asked a few minutes later, as she moved around the small kitchen.
“No—well, yes, but now that I’ve heard it—I’m conflicted,” Joey said. A deep frown replaced her usual smile as she ran over the events in her head.
“That’s usually the way of it. They catch you unaware and sink under your skin,” her mother said.
Joey eased down into the high black stool at the kitchen island.
“So give me the rundown. How did you meet him? What’s his name, yada, yada, yada,” her mother asked, scooping coffee into the filter and shutting the lid.
Joey held her breath. “I met him through Juliette’s fiancée, Shooter.”
“The biker?” Her mother turned around and stared, coffeepot dangling in her hand.
“Yes,” Joey said, stunned by her mother’s response. Her lips were pulled into a straight line, and a frown turned the corners of her lips down.
“What’s his name, Josephine?”
The alarm in her mother’s voice tightened the vise around Joey’s heart. “Moose.”
“Oh Jesus, he’s a biker, isn’t he?” Her mother’s eyes rounded like a doll’s and her jaw twitched.
“Yes,” Joey said. She cringed as her mother gripped the coffeepot handle tightly. What am I missing?
“With the same M.C. Lords of Mayhem?” her mother asked.
“Yeah…” Joey sighed and studied the granite countertop.
“Oh, Joey girl, the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?” her mother whispered.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I never wanted to bring up bad memories or make you ashamed of me,”she said. Her spirits plummeted. Joey traced her fingers along the cool surface in front of her.
“Wait—is that what you think?” her mother said. Glass clinked. Her mother leaned over the island, cupped Joey’s chin with her small hand and pulled her face up to meet her gaze.
“Yes,” Joey said, forcing the words out around the lump in her throat. She sniffed as her vision blurred.
“Hey, there’s nothing in this whole world you could do to make me ashamed. You’re an amazing woman, who I had the pleasure of raising. I mean, let’s be honest, we grew up together, and you never faulted me for it. I had no backup, no mother figure to take advice from. We rode out the storm and found a solid place to stand on.”
“I love you, Mom.” She sniffled.
“And I love you, Joey girl.” Her mother leaned in, kissed her cheek and then released her face. “My memories of my past aren’t bad, just different. A way I couldn’t live while with a child. Not when I wasn’t an official old lady.” Her mother shook her head and turned, picking up the coffeepot and filling it. “I wasn’t about to stay and let you suffer for my sins. No child should see their mother in that light.”
Joey’s mind drifted back to Red and she
tried not to cringe. She refused to believe her mother ever acted that way. Mean-spiritedness wasn’t in her.
With the coffee brewing, her mother took a seat beside her. “Tell me about Moose.”
“Just like the animal, he’s big, funny, a force to be reckoned with when angry and from Canada,” Joey said unable to keep from smiling.
Her mother laughed.
“He has the bluest eyes I think I’ve ever seen. A cerulean hue I’m convinced rivals the ocean and reddish-brown hair. I think he has dimples, but it’s impossible to tell with his beard.”
“Sounds rugged,” her mother noted.
“Mmm, very,” she said. A dreamy sigh escaped her lips. I have it so bad.
“Oh girl, you’re gone.” Her mother chuckled.
“Mom, I can’t afford to be.”
“Is he treating you badly? Because I can still call in a favor.”
The fierce look on her face caused Joey see her in a new light. This was the before-suburbia Ellen. “No, he—told everyone I was his sweetheart.”
Her mother’s eyebrows disappeared under her thick fringe of bangs. “So this is serious,” she asked. Her voice softened and lowered to a near whisper.
“I don’t know. Maybe?” Joey said. The last thing she wanted to do was invest more than Moose. That would only lead to serious heartache. She relayed the story.
Her mother listened while rising and moving silently around the kitchen as she made them mugs of coffee. She placed Joey’s favorite Jack Skellington mug in front of her and sat back down. “God. I always hated whores like that. There are some of us sweet butts who had dignity. We kept our business to ourselves and acted selectively as we tried to land ourselves an old lady title,” her mother said.
Joey saw her mother in a new light. “How long where you a—sweet butt?”
“Years, I grew up in it. You know. So at first, none of the guys would bite. I was the go-to girl, running errands, mixing drinks and cleaning the clubhouse.”
Joey stored the information, desperate to learn more about this mysterious part of her mother’s life. She wanted to know what had changed things.
“But that’s enough of an old lady’s tale. This is about you. You’re scared of him now? What he’s capable of?” her mother asked.
“Yes. I mean—I’d be a fool to assume he wouldn’t turn on me, right?” Joey said, tentatively. She stared at her mother, silently begging for reassurance and guidance.
Her mother set her cup of coffee in front of her and leaned against the counter. “I didn’t want this life for you for this very reason. That world…it’s not predictable or sane by normal standards. They get rough and they don’t take shit. You step to them while running your mouth and rocking ships, they’re going to shut you down whether you have a penis or a vagina. It’s just the way of their world,” her mother said honestly. She never sugar-coated things. It was a trait Joey grew to appreciate and trust.
“Mom, are you actually saying it’s okay?” Joey whispered.
“No, morality isn’t the issue. I’m giving it to you black and white. I don’t think you’d ever be as stupid as Red was, so no…I don’t think it’d come up between the two of you, but I can’t speak to his temperament.”
“I’ve never seen him fly off the handle. Not even falling-down drunk,” Joey said, eager to defend his character.
“Then I think you should trust your gut. What do you think?” her mother said, turning the tables.
“I think he’d wreck anyone who’d raise a hand to me, and doing it himself would be counterproductive,” Joey said, slowly working through the jumbled thoughts in her brain that concerned Moose.
“You love him?” her mother said. She covered her mouth.
“No, but I could. Easily, and that’s what scares me,” Joey said.
“Do you want to ride it out or bail? Because now would be the time to get out. If you let it go any longer, you might find he won’t let you go,” her mother said.
The words should have terrified her, but instead they filled her with excitement. The thought of belonging to someone so completely was all she had ever truly wanted deep down in the hidden spaces of her soul, where no one could see. “Why aren’t you telling me to run, Mom?”
“Because you’re smarter than I ever was and there’s something to being loved by a man like that. They don’t do half-ass and if you can capture their heart…” Her mother trailed off. She peered off into the distance. “It’s the most beautiful connection in the world,” she whispered.
“And you don’t mind me being in that world?” Joey asked.
“I’ve come to realize no matter what we do, we end up right where we’re supposed to be.”
The cryptic words made Joey long to know more of her mother’s story.
“Are you going to go talk to him tomorrow?” her mother asked.
“Yes, but what do I even say?” Joey said with a shrug.
“What do you want?” her mother asked.
“To be with him, that’s all I really know for certain,” Joey answered firmly. “God, I’m crazy aren’t I?”
“No,” her mother said. A soft smile lined her lips. “Tell him that and live in the moment. Life is too much for anything else.”
“God, Mom, how can you be so sure?”
“You’re thirty years old and I’ve never seen you like this about anyone else. It’s something that should be explored further,” her mother said.
“He doesn’t want a commitment. He’s made that clear,” Joey said. She toyed with her mug. She wasn’t one-hundred percent sure she wanted to get married, but kids would be nice someday. If she entered into this, would she be giving up on that?
“And yet you’re his sweetheart,” her mother said.
Her mother’s counter comment blew her out of the water. Actions spoke louder than words. He might not want the traditional, but that didn’t mean a happy medium couldn’t be reached. Damn you, Mom. “Okay, so you have a point.”
“Of course I do, darling.” Her mother winked at her over the rim of her mug.
“Have I told you lately how amazing you are?” Joey said.
Her mother set down her mug. “Remember, I didn’t tell you to lose yourself in him. I told you to take a chance.” Her mother’s hazel eyes bored into her own. “You understand?” she asked.
“Yes, Mom.”
“There’s my beautiful girl.” Her mother reached over and patted her cheek.
A new bond had been forged today. She saw beneath the tough-girl façade. Growing up with the tattooed badass mom all the boys lusted after had proven a serious challenge for her as a kid, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything.
* * * * *
The minute Joey left, Ellen went to the phone and entered his number.
“Ellen, everything okay?”
Ellen closed her eyes and gripped the cell phone tightly as the familiar baritone washed over her. It had been over a month since she heard his voice. “Yes and no.”
“You know I don’t do vague, Stargazer, so speak,” Wanderer said. The impatience in his tone lit a fire inside her.
“Your daughter is dating a biker.” Best to be short and to the point.
“Son of a bitch! Isn’t that why I let you leave? To keep her away from all this bullshit?”
Ellen winced. There was a lot of truth to that statement. Everything they’d withheld from Joey allowed her to have a normal life. “She’s a grown woman, Wanderer. What did you expect me to do? Not support her so she could run straight to him blindly? We both know how well that works.”
“I’ll be damned if I let my little girl relive our story,” he said. The anger in his voice was infuriating.
“Oh, now she’s your little girl?” Ellen said, pissed that he wanted to pull the M.C. card after all this time.
“Fuck you, Star. Don’t take that tone with me. I’ve been giving you money from day one,” he said.
“And that makes up for your absence?” she huffed. All the y
ears of silence shattered, not because he’d seen the error of his ways, but because another man was claiming what he’d neglected to.
“You are riding me for a reason, or you just feeling like being a bitch tonight?” Wanderer said. She imagined the snarl she knew he’d be wearing.
“Watch your tone; you owe me more respect,” Ellen said, using the same tone. After all this time, she was used to his head getting too big for his shoulders. “We both know we were wrong to let this go so long. It’s in our blood. Did we really think controlling her environment would remove it?”
“Fuck, I don’t need this shit right now,” Wanderer said.
She heard something slam on the other end. “Listen, I told you out of respect. You might run in the same circles and I didn’t want you to see her and have it catch you off guard.” Ellen’s voice cracked. She’d done what she had to, always did. Even when it ripped her fucking heart out.
“I’m not going to have my daughter a fucking target for these assholes looking for easy prey,” Wanderer said.
“Fuck you, Wanderer. You promised! I got to make the big decisions when it comes to her. You don’t get to come here and disrupt her life now.”
“Hers or yours, Star?” he asked.
The insinuation burned her from the inside out. “You always were a cold motherfucker,” she said shaking her head. Unbelievable.
“Not what you said when we made her, or last month for that matter,” he said, taunting her.
“Stay away.” Ellen disconnected, shaking as she rested her head against the wall in her bathroom. Please let this be the right choice.
* * * * *
“What’s this I hear about Joey being your sweetheart?”Shooter asked.
Moose glanced up from the bike he was working and watched his friend enter the garage. “Good news travels fast,” Moose muttered, returning his attention to the bike he’d just finished doing maintenance on for a customer.
“Is it good news?”
“Are you seriously playing big brother right now?” Moose shot back.
