by Wai Chim
I must have passed out at some point. The next thing I knew, I was being pulled to my feet. But the arms that held me this time were gentle. I managed to hold my eyes open long enough to see my rescuer.
‘Ming.’ But the name came out as a splutter, my mouth too swollen and full of blood to thank him.
He carried me into the mud house and laid me out on the bedframe. There was nothing but darkness and the chirruping of crickets as I slipped into the blackness.
Chapter 15
MING
They sent Li’s father away early in the morning. Before the sun cracked over the horizon, a truck had already been arranged for his transport back to the labour camp.
I checked on Li, who was still sleeping. He’d spent most of the night wheezing and coughing up blood. I had to turn him on his side so he wouldn’t choke.
The next three days dragged on. Out in the fields, my mouth was full of the bitter taste of sickness. I managed to keep going, knowing Fei would be waiting for me at the end of the week. I wondered if news of Li’s father had reached Long-chi; it must have by now. I hoped Aunt Shu wouldn’t stop our lessons.
I rushed back to the dorm and grabbed my book of Mao quotations. My forehead felt clammy and I was shivering with the beginnings of fever, but I refused to give in to it.
But when I got to the house, I knew something was wrong. The laundry was still hanging outside, and Fei always brought it into the house before she sat down for the lesson. The chimney wasn’t billowing with the usual plume of smoke. It was too quiet.
I rapped on the door.
It swung open immediately to a dishevelled Ru. He had a fat lip, turned down and wobbling so that he looked much younger than his ten years.
‘Ru, what’s wrong? Where’s Fei?’
‘She’s gone.’
‘What do you mean? Where would she go?’ Panic took over me. I didn’t want to hear his response.
‘Ru, who’s at the door?’ Shuffling footsteps approached and the door was yanked open so hard the wooden hinges squeaked in protest.
‘It’s you.’ Aunt Shu’s icy glare cut like slivers and needles. ‘You insufferable cad. You have caused nothing but trouble.’ She swung at me with her wooden spoon. I blocked the blow with my forearm.
She kept swiping at me, screaming. ‘You’ve ruined our family, destroyed our name. Your father was a traitor who brought shame to his family and you have done the same to mine. You brought that prisoner’s son into my house. And you dare spend time with Fei on your own? You have ruined my niece’s honour so she will never find a decent husband. Your parents aren’t here to beat you so I’m going to do it for them.’
I ducked out of the way as best I could. Aunt Shu was stout and powerful and though I could have easily overpowered her, filial respect kept me from striking back. Instead, I used my arms to shield myself as best as I could.
‘Please, I just want to talk to Fei.’ I winced as the wood rapped against my bony knuckle. ‘Please, just let me talk to her, only for a minute and I’ll go away, I promise.’
‘You worthless piece of dirt. I’m going to beat you to death!’ She was shrieking high enough to summon the she-demons. ‘You think you have a chance with her. Filling her mind with garbage. Love! She said she was in love!’
My heart leapt despite the blows raining down on me. Love? She said she was in love? ‘Aunt Shu, please can I just speak to her?’
‘Aunt Shu. Don’t you dare Aunt Shu me!’ Her blows weakened, but there was no dampening in the fury of her voice. ‘She’s completely worthless for marriage now. I was lucky I could convince my cousin to take her off my hands.’
I dropped my arms and was cuffed on the ear, but I hardly noticed. ‘What do you mean someone took her? Where is Fei?’
Aunt Shu put her hands on her hips, a tiny smirk of triumph emerging. ‘She’s gone. She moved to her husband’s house. It’s done. No wedding, no ceremony, just the bride price. And he stiffed me, worthless clod.’
‘G-gone? Husband?’ My mouth formed the words, but the rest of me was numb.
‘She’s gone for good. I told her if she dared show her face here again I would beat her until her legs broke and she’d have to crawl back to her husband. I won’t have an idle layabout in my house.’ She shook her head and turned back into the house. ‘Love. Sik si laa!’
And she slammed the door behind her.
I sank to the ground, pressing my fists against my eye sockets to keep the tears at bay, to no avail. It was a joke, surely. Any minute now, Fei would open the door, all smiles and laughter. Or she was just down at the well fetching water and would be surprised to find me sobbing at her door.
I heard shrieks from inside, the boys on the receiving end of one of Aunt Shu’s savage beatings. I couldn’t move from my spot.
If I left, if I walked away, it would mean she was really gone.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, someone was shaking me.
‘Ming, come on. You can’t stay here.’ It was Ru. The trembling lip was now split wide open.
I was curled up in the dirt, my hands shoved under my armpits for warmth. Slowly, I pulled myself up. I was shivering from the cold but my insides felt like they were on fire. My neck burned my hand as I tried to massage the stiffness out of it.
‘You have to go before she finds out you’re still here.’
‘Okay.’ I cleared my throat. ‘Is she really gone?’
Ru nodded, tears spilling over his cheeks. When he rubbed at them, I saw he had something in his hand. He pressed the slip of paper into my palm and didn’t say anything more.
I wanted to offer some words of comfort, but what did I have to give?
Instead, I ruffled Ru’s hair and said the only thing I could think of. ‘Be good.’
And I left him on his doorstep and slowly limped away.
On the walk back to the village, I unfolded Fei’s last letter.
My dear friend Ming,
I shouldn’t be writing to you, my husband Lo would be very angry with me if he discovered me exchanging letters with a man. I just wanted to apologise for not telling you. I wanted to but Aunt Shu didn’t even give me the time to pack a bag.
I am at a village quite far from home. It is cooler, far inland so the air is dry and the wind cuts into your skin like sharp paper. I have been quite sick since arriving, but am trying to regain my strength. My mother-in-law keeps me very busy with all of the things that must be done around the house. She is very strict, even more so than Aunt Shu! But sometimes she shows me kindness. She is hoping that I will have a son for her soon.
I don’t want you to worry about me, Ming. I miss the village very much, but I know that there is no point in holding on to the past. You showed me that. Instead, I will try to build new memories.
Take care of yourself, Ming. I hope with all my heart that you can one day be free.
May your heart be forever true,
Fei
There was no return address. I read the letter once, twice and then crumpled up the page and flung it into the grass.
Fei was gone.
There was nothing but the sounds of frogs and crickets chirruping around me. It was late. I followed the path down towards the beach. The old house stood like a foreboding fortress in the darkness.
I pushed open the door and peered inside.
Li was sitting cross-legged on the bed beneath the mosquito netting, staring into nothing. Neither of us could face the dormitory anymore and were hiding in my house to avoid the others. It didn’t matter though. Every night, Caocao and Feng rounded up the boys to drag Li outside for another struggle session. Luckily, they weren’t nearly as brutal as the first one. Instead, they beat him over and over, demanding a confession for ridiculous crimes.
‘I knew from the moment I met you that you were a swine and a class enemy,’ Feng spat, and slapped his already bruised face.
The accusations grew wilder as Li remained largely silent, except to cough and spit
up blood.
‘Admit it, you and your father were planning a plot to kill my father,’ Caocao cackled.
The first night, two of the boys restrained me, and I was forced to listen to my friend’s cries. After that, I stayed away, completely helpless and unable to aid my friend.
The Cadre and the Party officials did not attend these beatings, but did nothing to discourage them. But I was surprised that the arrogant Commander Hongbing chose not to take part.
I knew it was only a matter of time before Li was taken away, but the order hadn’t come. It was like waiting for Death to claim him.
Li lifted his head when he heard me enter. His eye was swollen and bloody from yet another beating but in the moonlight, he was still stark and handsome. I went to a get a wet cloth to help him clean up. As I wiped the blood off this face, he gave me a small, sad smile. ‘We should do the swim, Ming. You and me, we should go to Hong Kong.’
Chapter 16
LI
My heart began to race as I waited for Ming’s reply.
He looked stunned for a minute and then started laughing, loud enough for his voice to echo through the tiny room. ‘Good one, Li. I almost believed you. Nice joke.’
I shook my head. ‘I’m serious, Ming. I’ve got it figured out.’ I’d spent hours going over the scenario in my mind, remembering when the trucks had first brought us into the village. Was that really only nine months ago? ‘Like your father said, if we follow the river and climb the peak at night we have less of a chance of being spotted.’
‘No way. Have you forgotten the dogs? They’ll sniff us out.’
‘We coat ourselves in mud, dump our clothes, throw them off the scent.’ I beamed at my own cleverness.
Ming shook his head. ‘Even if – and that’s a big if – we made it to the water, there are sharks. And boat patrols. Not to mention the fact that it’s a long way. Even the fittest villagers would struggle and you’ve only just learned to swim.’
‘Come on, give yourself more credit. You’re a good teacher. I’m as good as you now and you know it.’ I frowned, put off by his hesitation. ‘I’ve made up my mind already. I’m not staying to be beaten every night.’
He opened his mouth to protest but the words never came. I knew already what he was thinking.
Fei was gone. I’d overheard the other boys saying she’d been sold to a Party member from another village. ‘She’s lucky to be a good comrade’s wife,’ Feng had said.
It was over. There was nothing left for Ming here.
And he knew it. A look of steely determination came over his face. He seemed older, angrier. I wondered if this was what his father looked like.
A gust of wind blew through the hut, fluttering the mosquito netting. It echoed around the room like a voice laughing. I wasn’t superstitious but the sound made me shudder.
Ming heard it too. But his expression seemed even more steadfast.
‘Ok,’ he said finally. ‘I’m in.’
A tiny flutter of excitement twisted in my stomach, and I momentarily forgot our sorrows.
We were going to Hong Kong.
CHAPTER 17
MING
The rainy season was over but that meant typhoon season was just around the corner, so Li and I had just a few days of guaranteed calm. We needed to act fast. We spent a long night at the top of peak, peering down at the shoreline for the telltale bobbing of lights from the patrolling guards. In the distance, there was a small light, too low to be a star, too bright to be a figment of our imagination. Li guessed it was a light from the island.
‘Two sweeps, which means we have to make sure they’re at the farthest points when we get on the ground.’ Li scribbled furiously. ‘We should climb the peak after everyone’s gone to bed and time our descent. If we get to the beach a couple of hours before dawn, we should have enough cover to reach the island. You said there are guards on the island?’
I nodded. ‘That’s what my father said. They patrol the island and take any escapees they find to Kowloon to be registered and receive their resident ID. ’
I had been a little hesitant when Li had first brought up the idea but now I couldn’t imagine anything else. It was what my father would have wanted, I was sure of it. Hong Kong was my legacy.
‘Are you sure about that part?’ Li frowned. ‘It seems strange that they would just take us in like that. Don’t we need papers or something?’
I shook my head. ‘It’s Hong Kong, Li. There’s freedom and opportunity; it’s not like China where you have to tell the Party when you fart.’
Li cracked a small smile. I was glad to be going with him. Last summer, I didn’t think I would ever have had the nerve to be making the trip my father hadn’t finished, much less with a city boy.
In the hut, after his forced nightly struggle session, Li was studying his notes, his brow creased in thought. ‘I don’t know, Ming. Maybe we need to wait. The water’s not good. You were probably right, I need more lessons.’ He shook his head, scrunching the pages. ‘We’re not ready. We need more time.’
I couldn’t believe my ears. ‘Li, this was your idea. What’s going on?’
There was a loud rapping on the door. We jumped in surprise and turned to each other wide-eyed, the same thought in both our minds. We’d been found out.
Another knock and an angry voice. ‘Li, open up.’ It was Hongbing.
‘Coming.’ Li shoved the notes into his shirt and hurried to the door. The moment he opened it, Hongbing blew in. He glanced at me before turning to Li.
Hongbing reached into his pocket and pulled out a plain envelope, its seal already undone. ‘I’m sorry to inform you that your father is dead. He never made it back to the labour camp.’ The Commander pressed his lips together and held out the notice. ‘Comrade Li, I am sorry.’
Li tried to hide his pained expression. ‘I am … I am grateful that you let me know, Commander. Thank you.’ He took the envelope.
Commander Hongbing nodded and turned to leave. Not until his footsteps had faded did Li let the tears fall.
I rose on shaking legs, my heart pounding. I knew what had to happen. Despite this being Li’s plan, it would be up to me to make the final decision. And I was ready.
‘Li.’ I was conscious of the walls and windows, suddenly terrified someone could be listening. I kept my words to a whisper. ‘Li, it’s time.’
Li simply nodded.
We waited for the village to turn in, watching the lamps in their windows wink out one by one. But when it was time, the thick cloud cover made it almost impossible to navigate. We couldn’t risk a light, so had no choice but to stumble along in the dark.
‘Will you calm down?’ Li hissed when I started at a stray cat. ‘Do you want to tell the whole village we’re leaving?’
After that I managed to limit myself to just squeezing my eyes shut and biting my lip.
We followed the river, keeping the sound of the gentle rippling to our left. It took a sharp turn to the right, which meant we would soon find the rope bridge to cross it, just as we had from the night before. The bridge led us to an overgrown path that ended at the base of the peninsula’s highest peak. Focused on walking, we remained silent as we began the climb. My heart was galloping and every breath sounded deafening. Little noises in the night had me on high alert.
Eventually, we came to the top of the peak. I was surprised to find that despite the overcast sky, the view was clear and it was easy to see out. Most importantly, we could make out the tiny light in the distance. The sea was surprisingly calm, just a few strong currents in their usual spots to avoid, nothing too difficult. They were all good omens for us.
Li pointed to two spots below where the guards would be so we could track their movements in our minds through the night, just as we had rehearsed. I could imagine their silhouettes and movements in the darkness and shuddered.
When it was time, I followed him down the side of the mountain, my heart in my throat as my feet scrabbled to find a hold. We were
moving quickly, sending rocks and gravel tumbling down below us. I imagined them raining down past the guards, alerting them to our presence.
I clenched my fists and focused on my feet, trying to keep my breathing even.
The climb down was quick, though the going was rough as there was no trail to follow. We stumbled around fallen trees and brush, pushing at the low branches with our bare hands so that they cut into our palms. I was sweaty, my shirt heavy against my clammy back.
Just as we were about to emerge into the clearing near the shore, Li pulled us to a stop. We peered out from the safety of the trees.
‘Fifteen, maybe twenty paces to the beach.’ Li guessed. There would be no more protection from the trees. We’d have to cut across the clearing towards the shoreline and head south until we reached a spot where it’d be safe to enter the water. Otherwise, we risked cracking our heads open against the rocks. We quickly stripped down to our briefs, leaving our clothes hidden away under a rock beneath a tree.
We both fell silent, listening hard. I expected to hear barking, dogs coming straight for us. But all was quiet. This was our chance. The guards would be on opposite sides of the beach, which gave us the biggest window of time to get into the water without being spotted.
I braced myself, ready to tear across to the sand but Li reached out to stop me.
I thought he had changed his mind, that he was calling it off. But instead, he gave me a weak smile.
‘Good luck, brother.’ His fingers dug into my arm.
I smiled back. This former Red Guard, a city slicker who once proudly touted quotes from Mao, truly was like a brother to me now. We were one and the same. And I recalled the old quote from my father. It doesn’t matter where they’re from, all desperate men are the same.
Finally, Li released his grip and I felt the blood rush in again.
And then he was off.
My feet felt detached from the rest of me. It was hard to keep up with Li’s long strides and I lagged several paces behind. I could hear Li panting as he pumped his arms and legs, all the while scanning the beach for flashlights and guards.
